Let's Be Real Here Pt.4 - "GAME" alone cannot create physical attraction

[Smooth_texter]

Advice from the old lady:

Wanna hear something funny. The reference to Dorian Gray? I’ve never seen 50 Shades, never read the book, never saw the appeal I guess, but I am however quite familiar with The Picture of Dorian Gray written in the 1890s by Oscar Wilde and considered a classic of gothic literature. The 50 Shades character certainly was conspicuously named after the Oscar Wilde character, much as Kurtz in Apocolypse Now was a modern day reprisal of Kurtz in Joseph Conrad’s novel Heart of Darkness…..the horror, the horror!

Obviously I digress. Casanova was ordinary looking by all accounts. Geoffrey Chaucer, also a historic rake, was downright ugly, but both men LOVED women and were charming AF.

Guys there is a reason the saying “Charmed the pants off her….” exists.

Yes looks are important but the vast majority of people are nothing to look at. Go to an airport. Look at the public. Most people are average at best. Why else would models earn so much? Beauty is relatively rare so it has relative value in its own right. I mean geez, we have threads on here saying well, all women are washed up by 23, or 25, or 27 (pick your number) but most women who are young have youth going for them rather than youth and beauty. It is what it is.

You guys learn charm? Genuine charm (what game was originally called), you’ll do fine. But you’ve got to embrace and enjoy women, stop seeing them as some adversary somehow.

Part of my appeal is that I genuinely love men. That comes across in my energy, it’s very attractive in and of itself. I happen also to be quite charming, but that arises out of me liking men, and finding men fascinating.

And that is in addition to my looks (and in some ways more important)

Hi BeExcellent.

I think that women were easily impressed and fantasized about those characters in the pre-Internet Era. They were living in scarcity (romantically) and were overall bored. So those men fascinated them.

Current women live in abundance (as you also have said about having many high value options). They have also seen and done a lot more than the women from the eras in which that literature came. A simple pick up line, or let alone a poem would not do much, or it can even harm a man's chances. What exactly might "charm" be? It seems like it's the same as looks. In 2004, Angelina Jolie was charmed by Brad Pitt, not Danny De Vito (and I presume the latter is more charming), or a regular Joe.


In one of my other threads, you have said "I chose a man who meets my most important criteria (looks, fitness, sex appeal, masculinity, ambition, intelligence) who is a semi pro athlete in an adventure sport, makes 6 figures and makes me laugh. " Those are a lot more qualities than just being charming alone. And I also presume that he probably is no slouch in the height department as well.

 

[Bigpapa]

Casanova, one of the most famous seducers, used words, rather than looks:

View attachment 10768

And yet mostly he banged peasant women and women married with old or ugly dudes

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

This dude got lots of women in Russia

b*tches....

 

[Hamurabimbi]

[QUOTE="IKO69, post: 3049762, member: 24831If One thing people don't touch on as much - if you're good looking you're expected to know all these things because you're expected to have done well with women. There is a certain standard that is to be held - women really resent good looking guys that display AFC type behavior.
[/QUOTE]

I’m not saying I’m all that & a bag of chips. But. Being decent looking. People assume you are good at everything. Not just women. I’ve been asked several times to play musical instruments at gatherings (no clue how to play anything). We had an IT opening at work & my boss asked to fill it for a fee weeks until they could get a full time hire. I can’t even set up a SMART TV. It’s some sort of halo.

 

[CornbreadFed]

There will be always with guys like you and their defeatist mindset, you're pretty much 6ft, and you're excuse is that girls are replacing you for taller guys?

Judging the way you type, how meticulous you're when typing, underlining important things, writing long paragraphs, I can tell you right now, its not fun being around you and you must be fvcking boring when you date women, and bringing boring intellectual topics.

height only works to your benefit if you are 6ft 2 or taller. 5’11-6’1 are just neutral zones. Any height below starts subtracting from your smv.

 

[SW15]

height only works to your benefit if you are 6ft 2 or taller. 5’11-6’1 are just neutral zones. Any height below starts subtracting from your smv.

I'm 5'10" and I have felt that women have prioritized me due to my height. I thought 5'10" was neutral. 5'10" now is considered crap.

 

[Bigpapa]

I am 5'11''. The national average for men in my country is 5'9''. Hair, not height is the thing that reduced my SMV a lot.

You can make a hair transplant if you think that is your biggest problem

Women might prefer guys with full hair, but it is not a must

If you have a great body you can compensate for the lack of hair for example

Like someone mentioned here, you look like a guy that is too much in his head

If you start being an intellectual you will
Bore women


Reason is mainly a guy thing and women that are intellectuals tend to be ugly and look like sh1t, because otherwise you would use the time to think in other ways that increase their SMV

 

[CornbreadFed]

I do get compliments from women on my 'style', but to me it's just what I feel comfortable in.
View attachment 10778 View attachment 10779

These pictures alone prove what I’ve been preaching on this site. You have a style and the girl you are with naturally aligned with your personality and style. Too many guys struggling with women because they are going for women that are not compatible with them.

 

[Bigpapa]

These pictures alone prove what I’ve been preaching on this site. You have a style and the girl you are with naturally aligned with your personality and style. Too many guys struggling with women because they are going for women that are not compatible with them.

Or they do not have a style to begin with

Most guys do not have anything interesting about them

Very vanilla people that dress like crap in the vast majority of cases

 

[CornbreadFed]

Or they do not have a style to begin with

Most guys do not have anything interesting about them

Very vanilla people that dress like crap in the vast majority of cases

There’s vanilla women for vanilla men. Either these guys ignore them or they are lost/repressed and too undeveloped to figure out their persona.

 

[Bigpapa]

And then they're 5'11 complaining they're too short. These people are clowns.

The only real requirement for a woman in terms of height is for the guy not to be shorter than her ( women over 1.80m will be ok if the guy is a bit shorter than them though )

I see everyday girls with guys that more or less have the same height and are who are shorter than me( me being 1.82m / 6 foot ) . And some girls are really hot

But it is true that some women will be very picky when it comes to height. Especially the really short women ( usually under 1.60m ) . Mainly because they do not want to have short children

Being too short is a handicap for guys, it is true. But statistically it is impossible that everyone that has a girls problem is also a dwarf

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I'm 5'10" and I have felt that women have prioritized me due to my height. I thought 5'10" was neutral. 5'10" now is considered crap.

 

[Bigpapa]

View attachment 10780

Spanish and Italian men are quite short on average, but yet they are considered one of the sexiest guys

I think the average height for guys is like slightly over 1.70 m

What they lack in height they compensate in attitude

 

[BeExcellent]

Hi BeExcellent.

I think that women were easily impressed and fantasized about those characters in the pre-Internet Era. They were living in scarcity (romantically) and were overall bored. So those men fascinated them.

Current women live in abundance (as you also have said about having many high value options). They have also seen and done a lot more than the women from the eras in which that literature came. A simple pick up line, or let alone a poem would not do much, or it can even harm a man's chances. What exactly might "charm" be? It seems like it's the same as looks. In 2004, Angelina Jolie was charmed by Brad Pitt, not Danny De Vito (and I presume the latter is more charming), or a regular Joe.


In one of my other threads, you have said "I chose a man who meets my most important criteria (looks, fitness, sex appeal, masculinity, ambition, intelligence) who is a semi pro athlete in an adventure sport, makes 6 figures and makes me laugh. " Those are a lot more qualities than just being charming alone. And I also presume that he probably is no slouch in the height department as well.

True. My husband is 6’3” so he is tall. I was a little on the fence at first as he’s blond with blue eyes (not my usual type) but he is objectively handsome.

Taking off (literally) will comment further later….

 

[Smooth_texter]

A man and a woman find themselves in the same room.

The woman scans the room (for all the men), she notices a particular man that seems interesting. After the first glance she has run all the different calculations in her mind of whether he can get it or not - this occurs instantaneously (as said first glance)

The woman begins throwing the guy additional glances intermittently in hopes to get his attention.

What is the primary driver of attraction/desire, other than looks?? Of course there is room for game as well --- looks don't mean a complete slam dunk. Never heard of "he was hot until he opened his mouth"? If you're good looking but a social retard there is a good chance you'll spend a lot of time playing with yourself.

Happy Friday

----
One thing that I forgot about that needs further elucidation - good looks do serve as a kind of buffer. Meaning you can do deliver a totally lame line / say something absolutely cringey and it will land in proportion to her attraction to you. We've all seen this before - I myself have also benefited when i've said some dumb **** (more so when younger). As they say though, you shouldn't abuse the privilege. Eventually it will get old and you'll end up in category of the social retard.

One thing people don't touch on as much - if you're good looking you're expected to know all these things because you're expected to have done well with women. There is a certain standard that is to be held - women really resent good looking guys that display AFC type behavior.

Mate, I get your point, but you are kind of assuming that a woman scans for game first.

Yes, having no game would literally kill your chances, but looks get your foot at the door. And depending on how you look, you may have a lot of leeway for mistakes (as you mentioned and also I have experienced in my teens and early 20s).

 

[Smooth_texter]

Exactly, but 'looks' tend to be fluid -- not all women go after the same looks in men. Some want boyish, some rugged, et cetera.

And verbal skills -- being a good conversationalist and knowing how to be a good listener are crucial for positive interaction.

The first thing I always ask, "When you look at yourself, would you date you?"

True.

But I do believe that there is a relatively universal look, that gets the most amount of women (the so called "Chad" or "Gigachad") And I think that this is a height of 6'3'', defined jawline, Adam's apple and cheekbones (these were the types of guys that pulled the most in HS and college). And it seems that Google/Wikipedia has the same opinion.



The same as we as men have universal female traits to which we are attracted - youthfulness, femininity, long hair and so on.

 

[Smooth_texter]

I've seen this happen. One man I know in the real world is great proof of this. He is a 6'0"+ White man and was an NCAA athlete in a country club sport. After his NCAA athlete time ended, he transitioned to a solid line of white collar work. To bougie/yuppie White women, he looked the part of a dream guy. He was able to get a lot of notches based on looking the part. His verbal game was mediocre at best. He wasn't an online dater as he focused on nightlife venue approaching. He would get to the bars about 2-2.5 hours before closing time, start spam approaching, and see what he got that night. He was able to get same night sex a lot with this method, but also could arrange some future first dates with women unwilling to engage in same night sex.

He was the real life equivalent of the 'Chad' on Bumble opening with a "Wanna smash?" text. His game was a bit less direct than that.

The guy from the example above is a complete AFC now in a marriage. His wife hasn't filed for divorce yet. To the outside world, it doesn't look that behavior has caught up with him yet. I believe it will eventually catch up with him.

Yes, the same type that I was talking about in my previous post.

Your friend had a combo of height + physique that stood out and caught most women's eyes. Thus negating the weak verbal game, and still having a decent close rate (I presume).

 

[Smooth_texter]

[QUOTE="IKO69, post: 3049762, member: 24831If One thing people don't touch on as much - if you're good looking you're expected to know all these things because you're expected to have done well with women. There is a certain standard that is to be held - women really resent good looking guys that display AFC type behavior.

I’m not saying I’m all that & a bag of chips. But. Being decent looking. People assume you are good at everything. Not just women. I’ve been asked several times to play musical instruments at gatherings (no clue how to play anything). We had an IT opening at work & my boss asked to fill it for a fee weeks until they could get a full time hire. I can’t even set up a SMART TV. It’s some sort of halo.
[/QUOTE]

Yes, good looks open doors. Literally.

The optimal case is to have them combined with different skills and game, but even they alone can help a lot.

 

[Smooth_texter]

There will be always with guys like you and their defeatist mindset, you're pretty much 6ft, and you're excuse is that girls are replacing you for taller guys?

Judging the way you type, how meticulous you're when typing, underlining important things, writing long paragraphs, I can tell you right now, its not fun being around you and you must be fvcking boring when you date women, and bringing boring intellectual topics.

I am not advocating a defeatist mindset.

For myself, I have learned where I can aim, and how to screen interest levels, and changes in them.

The rejections/ghosting that I have experienced usually happened after a nice date, that was preceded with great texting before that. I have a rule to not date from the places I work, so this limits a lot of my options.

 

[Smooth_texter]

height only works to your benefit if you are 6ft 2 or taller. 5’11-6’1 are just neutral zones. Any height below starts subtracting from your smv.

Through the years, I have found this to be true as well.