I've thought she was cheating...she claims rape.

[Sabol]

I firmly believe in quickly cutting off those who aren't off benefit but to be able to do so completely detached from emotions is a bit strange. Stuff like this is much easier to deal with hypothetically.

You're not detached from emotions. It's making the logical decision to separate yourself from a bad situation even when emotions are involved.

 

[AlexDP]

Also, Ace, she didn't immediately want me to leave. She still won't let me leave when I ask her if I should. She wants me to be around and protect her. She just wanted me to leave when I asked if she had been cheating. She claims she is a little afraid of me, purely on the basis of me being a man. Butwe have done several sexual things, other than sex, since it happened. So she still likes sex, but she won't have real sex with me until it has healed. I work at 1:30 am and she should realize it's absolutely ridiculous for her to come home anytime close to that, or afterward. It was something like 2 days that she stayed after work, before it happened, and she came right before I left to see me. Not proof she was cheating. And none of you can realistically say what you would do...without having it happen. And I hope it never happens to any of you guys. If she did lie about anything, I will find out, but I'm in a highly emotional state (yeah, *****, I know) and there is no way to judge right now. I find it hard to believe that any woman is cold enough to hurt me like this. I'm going to take it easy, being nice, but acting in a way, like it never happened. Some of you guys have this idea like women are cold and calculating and would do anything to hurt you...they are not. If she lied about rape and cheating though, it's definately done for good. I will let you guys know when I find out for sure, but for now, it's time for me to really man up, and be a loving and supporting boyfriend.

As others have said in this thread a BPD girl is more than capable of doing this. I'll go further than that even, a BPD girl will do everything in her power to destroy you. She does this because she perceives that you want to hurt her. Hell my BPD ex accused me of rape. Which was impossible because I wasn't even there at the time, but when their abandonment fears get triggered

Anyways, you know your girl best, but honestly, when a girl would tell me stuff like this and not go the cops, I'd google borderline personality disorder and see if she fit the criteria.

 

[Credos]

What you guys are replying is pretty sick and BIGTIME afc bullsh*t. Didn't think I would read such retarded stuff.
None of you guys know the real situation and you're telling a guy, who's girlfriend told him she was raped to dump her? wtf?


Anyhow, her story does keep getting stranger and stranger. I would seriously look her cousin up and ask him about this.
This is not just something you can just forget. Figure out what really happened! If she's lying, dump her like everybody tells you, if she's not then you gotta get this fvcking @sshole back. Sue the guy till he doesn't have a nail left to scratch his @ss with.

The fact that this isen't happening at the moment however is a big indication that something more is up. Maybe he treatened her, maybe she's lying.

All I'm saying is: FIND OUT WHAT THE TRUTH IS AND DON'T SETTLE FOR HER STORY ALONE!
(I do agree on some points in the other posts like karma's and jullius)

 

[KarmaSutra]

What you guys are replying is pretty sick and BIGTIME afc bullsh*t. Didn't think I would read such retarded stuff.
None of you guys know the real situation and you're telling a guy, who's girlfriend told him she was raped to dump her? Are you guys fvcking mental?

This is what happens when Mtv and The Hills are your parental guides.

You can keep those fires of her design close to your heart. Think of all of the time you'll piss away on her instead of pissing on her.

 

[Atom Smasher]

What you guys are replying is pretty sick and BIGTIME afc bullsh*t. Didn't think I would read such retarded stuff.
None of you guys know the real situation and you're telling a guy, who's girlfriend told him she was raped to dump her? wtf?


Anyhow, her story does keep getting stranger and stranger. I would seriously look her cousin up and ask him about this.
This is not just something you can just forget. Figure out what really happened! If she's lying, dump her like everybody tells you, if she's not then you gotta get this fvcking @sshole back. Sue the guy till he doesn't have a nail left to scratch his @ss with.

The fact that this isen't happening at the moment however is a big indication that something more is up. Maybe he treatened her, maybe she's lying.

All I'm saying is: FIND OUT WHAT THE TRUTH IS AND DON'T SETTLE FOR HER STORY ALONE!
(I do agree on some points in the other posts like karma's and jullius)

She has already displayed dishonest behavior, and a desire to "hang out" with other men. Those two are reasons enough to dump her.

 

[user43770]

She has already displayed dishonest behavior, and a desire to "hang out" with other men. Those two are reasons enough to dump her.

True. I don't think anybody is saying that this broad is to be trusted. We're just saying that she may have actually been raped. Stranger things have happened.

 

[Credos]

True. I don't think anybody is saying that this broad is to be trusted. We're just saying that she may have actually been raped. Stranger things have happened.

^This - ending my part in the discussion with this, considering the OP will have to decide what to do not me

 

[Ace_Magnamus]

The whole point of this is this...

Also, Ace, she didn't immediately want me to leave. She still won't let me leave when I ask her if I should. She wants me to be around and protect her. She just wanted me to leave when I asked if she had been cheating. She claims she is a little afraid of me, purely on the basis of me being a man. Butwe have done several sexual things, other than sex, since it happened. So she still likes sex, but she won't have real sex with me until it has healed. I work at 1:30 am and she should realize it's absolutely ridiculous for her to come home anytime close to that, or afterward. It was something like 2 days that she stayed after work, before it happened, and she came right before I left to see me. Not proof she was cheating. And none of you can realistically say what you would do...without having it happen. And I hope it never happens to any of you guys. If she did lie about anything, I will find out, but I'm in a highly emotional state (yeah, *****, I know) and there is no way to judge right now. I find it hard to believe that any woman is cold enough to hurt me like this. I'm going to take it easy, being nice, but acting in a way, like it never happened. Some of you guys have this idea like women are cold and calculating and would do anything to hurt you...they are not. If she lied about rape and cheating though, it's definately done for good. I will let you guys know when I find out for sure, but for now, it's time for me to really man up, and be a loving and supporting boyfriend.

You can call me an a$$hole or whatever you want I dont really care.

The point is...this chick brought this on herself if it happened or not.

She was cheating and sneaking around behind your back

you had no control over what she was doing. you let her do it.

if she wasnt none of this would of ever happened.

she should of been with you instead of other men.

she was hanging around other men when she shouldnt of been. you let her.
that is how this happened. her cheating actions put her in this situation.

that is what you should go on

quit making excuses for her cheating behavior.

she wanted you to leave because she felt guilty of the cheating

if this actually happened she would want you to be involved and the cousin would inform you as well.

she would go after the guy who did it. she would want you to know who did it. not protect him from you finding out who the guy is. she would want you to know who did that to her. not hide it.

you are the boyfriend and she would go to you for real help. not trying to push you away and trying to avoid you finding out all the details.

you have no info and no reports. just her words that she has been lying to you all the time.

she is lying to you and you are stupid to go along with it.

women will hurt you bro so you should get your head out of your ass and come into reality.

i dont believe her story and you keep defending her and making excuses for her when she was sneaking and sleeping around on you.

either her story or your story is made up because i see a lot of holes in it. a person that was actually attacked wouldnt be acting this way. and a guy who was going through this wouldnt be writing like you are.

i think this whole story is an aw attempt myself. just my 2 cents.

maybe im wrong but thats how i see it

good day everyone

 

[KarmaSutra]

We're just saying that she may have actually been raped.

Who gives a sh!t if it's true. She put herself in that dangerous situation in the first goddamned place. She got what she wanted: Male attention. It may not have been how she wanted it, but she got it.

I'm sick of women going out in their bare ass, flounting all of their t!ttyballs, then wondering why an inexperienced guy can't control himself around her. When she rejects his advances, he only knows to take it aggressively.

In the web, who do you think God favors? The spider or the b!tch who got stuck herself stuck?

Stranger things have happened.

Guys trying to fix or save a broken b!tch like her is what's more strange.

 

[mahoney]

the above answers are why many women don't report rape btw (when it happened to my friend she got all the same kinds of disbelief - and then later the backpeddling from those people when the guy got sent down - albeit for a different rape - but you know that wasn't really the time she needed people to believe in her. those people were only prepared to believe in her once they had some kind of proof - they were more prepared to believe some dude they didn't even know than her - she sure found out who her friends were after that happened!)

of course, she was walking late at night to her car, so she 'deserved it' (back from a rehearsal space of recording her record - she's a producer), so to some of her friends she 'put herself in that position' and deserved no support(!)

Most people who are attacked, raped, stabbed, murdered were alone and 'put themselves in that position'. If i go to my local bar and come back after closing time i have a 15 minute walk down a quite lonely street. Sad thing is, if I'm ever attacked on the way home after a few drinks, i too will have 'deserved it' - after all, why wasn't I safe at home reading a book like a good little boy? I'm never sure why so many people are almost hardwired to blame the victim - or to disbelieve the victim - one other friend didnt get believed when some nutjob jumped her on her doorstep and stabbed her in the hand! shes a feisty character, despite being 5'2 managed to fight him off but certain people thought she 'asked for it'! find this stuff kinda weird personally)

anyway my point is i dont really think anyone deserves to be attacked or raped no matter what they were wearing or where they were walking and we should blame people who carry out crimes, not their victims. i've never attacked or raped anyone, can't be that hard not to!

 

[user43770]

Who gives a sh!t if it's true. She put herself in that dangerous situation in the first goddamned place. She got what she wanted: Male attention. It may not have been how she wanted it, but she got it.

I'm sick of women going out in their bare ass, flounting all of their t!ttyballs, then wondering why an inexperienced guy can't control himself around her. When she rejects his advances, he only knows to take it aggressively.

In the web, who do you think God favors? The spider or the b!tch who got stuck herself stuck?



Guys trying to fix or save a broken b!tch like her is what's more strange.

So, your argument basically boils down to "the b1tch was asking for it". You have some pretty sadistic views on women. You hardly seem like someone who should be touting himself as some sort of guru. You should try to hide your bitterness.

I don't believe in God, but if I did, I would have to assume that he would look negatively on rapists. Even if the chick was dressed provocatively.

 

[Atom Smasher]

But the REALITIES of life must be acknowledged and dealt with.

If you walk down that lonely street, there is a high likelihood of your being attacked. It shouldn't be that way, but it IS that way. Therefore, YOU are responsible for acknowledging the danger and avoiding that behavior.

Similarly, women SHOULD be aware of dangerous situations and inadvisable behavior. Around here, I see women out walking and jogging at night, and I shake my head in disbelief. SHOULD they be in danger? Of course not. ARE they? Most definitely. They need to acknowledge the danger and alter their behavior accordingly.

Women routinely walk around almost naked, among men who are VISUALLY stimulated. That is a sure-fire recipe for X amount of unwanted advances and rapes. Reality. SHOULD she be in danger? No. IS she? Absolutely.

The fact is that many victims put themselves in harm's way, when more prudent people would avoid those situations.

 

[Kirro]

So, your argument basically boils down to "the b1tch was asking for it". You have some pretty sadistic views on women. You hardly seem like someone who should be touting himself as some sort of guru. You should try to hide your bitterness.

I don't believe in God, but if I did, I would have to assume that he would look negatively on rapists. Even if the chick was dressed provocatively.

I think what Karma is saying(albeit a bit too harshly) is that at some point responsibility & personal accountability come into the question. Even before this alleged rape the chick had been acting strangely, seeing other guys & distancing the OP. That is already enough ammo to dump her. Now she cries rape, even in the event she was raped, it was cause due to her being around males who are not her bf.

Even if she was raped it does suddenly negate all the crap she's been pulling & while even I would be hesitant, I would leave her to deal with it on her own.

The OP is also at fault for not setting boundaries. Had he done this, he could have averted this mess altogether.

 

[KarmaSutra]

So, your argument basically boils down to "the b1tch was asking for it". You have some pretty sadistic views on women. You hardly seem like someone who should be touting himself as some sort of guru. You should try to hide your bitterness.

I don't believe in God, but if I did, I would have to assume that he would look negatively on rapists. Even if the chick was dressed provocatively.

Perhaps if you had any experience with mature minded people you'd be able to see exactly what I was talking about: personal responsibility.

There's another fvcking 'tard who commented about walking down the street after a few drinks and getting jumped. In that instance, yes, it IS your fault for not bringing something with you, or have the training to defend yourself, against an "unexpected" attack. If you know you're going out drinking and you have to walk five minutes away from your house, but you know that 1/4 mile you have to tread through is treacherous, and dangerous territory; who's fault is it that you get jumped while you're impaired walking back?

Is it the 3 dudes who're waiting for a drunken idiot to knowingly walk through that bad part of town or is it your own responsibility to make arrangements so you don't get into that predicament in the first place?

I want to clarify: Rape=powerless/weakness. I don't condone taking anything from anyone without their expressed consent.

You may label me guru or any other nonsense. I never have. I don't want followers or students. What I want is for people to think for themselves rather than sleep comfortably on the cloud of laziness and become another drone.

 

[mahoney]

There's another fvcking 'tard who commented about walking down the street after a few drinks and getting jumped. In that instance, yes, it IS your fault for not bringing something with you, or have the training to defend yourself, against an "unexpected" attack. If you know you're going out drinking and you have to walk five minutes away from your house, but you know that 1/4 mile you have to tread through is treacherous, and dangerous territory; who's fault is it that you get jumped while you're impaired walking back?

Is it the 3 dudes who're waiting for a drunken idiot to knowingly walk through that bad part of town or is it your own responsibility to make arrangements so you don't get into that predicament in the first place?

Then in every crime it is the fault of the victim because they should have been better prepared. They should have had better security on their houses, they shouldn't live alone, they shouldn't be old or infirm, they shouldn't live in poor areas. If crimes are the responsibility of the victim then why prosecute criminals at all

What I want is for people to think for themselves rather than sleep comfortably on the cloud of laziness and become another drone.

expressing an opinion contrary to your own is lazy thinking?

 

[Ease]

Perhaps if you had any experience with mature minded people you'd be able to see exactly what I was talking about: personal responsibility.

There's another fvcking 'tard who commented about walking down the street after a few drinks and getting jumped. In that instance, yes, it IS your fault for not bringing something with you, or have the training to defend yourself, against an "unexpected" attack. If you know you're going out drinking and you have to walk five minutes away from your house, but you know that 1/4 mile you have to tread through is treacherous, and dangerous territory; who's fault is it that you get jumped while you're impaired walking back?

Is it the 3 dudes who're waiting for a drunken idiot to knowingly walk through that bad part of town or is it your own responsibility to make arrangements so you don't get into that predicament in the first place?

I want to clarify: Rape=powerless/weakness. I don't condone taking anything from anyone without their expressed consent.

You may label me guru or any other nonsense. I never have. I don't want followers or students. What I want is for people to think for themselves rather than sleep comfortably on the cloud of laziness and become another drone.

A man with views that he wont control his woman, wont protect her when she is in trouble and wont get involved when her safety is in question.

As men one of the things that drives our adrenaline most is a damsel in distress and our family in danger. Either you lack this masculine instinct or you have never been in this situation. Wild guess at which one that might be.

You are complaining about MTV and television but it is you that has never matured.

Personal responsibility? you have a responsibility over the actions of your woman.

It is one of these subconscious wires that we have. We want to protect her and make sure she is safe, and she wants to be protected and warned. We may act like we dont care and they may act independent but when **** happens you see the real truth.

 

[HalfAddict]

the above answers are why many women don't report rape btw (when it happened to my friend she got all the same kinds of disbelief - and then later the backpeddling from those people when the guy got sent down - albeit for a different rape - but you know that wasn't really the time she needed people to believe in her. those people were only prepared to believe in her once they had some kind of proof - they were more prepared to believe some dude they didn't even know than her - she sure found out who her friends were after that happened!)

of course, she was walking late at night to her car, so she 'deserved it' (back from a rehearsal space of recording her record - she's a producer), so to some of her friends she 'put herself in that position' and deserved no support(!)

Most people who are attacked, raped, stabbed, murdered were alone and 'put themselves in that position'. If i go to my local bar and come back after closing time i have a 15 minute walk down a quite lonely street. Sad thing is, if I'm ever attacked on the way home after a few drinks, i too will have 'deserved it' - after all, why wasn't I safe at home reading a book like a good little boy? I'm never sure why so many people are almost hardwired to blame the victim - or to disbelieve the victim - one other friend didnt get believed when some nutjob jumped her on her doorstep and stabbed her in the hand! shes a feisty character, despite being 5'2 managed to fight him off but certain people thought she 'asked for it'! find this stuff kinda weird personally)

anyway my point is i dont really think anyone deserves to be attacked or raped no matter what they were wearing or where they were walking and we should blame people who carry out crimes, not their victims. i've never attacked or raped anyone, can't be that hard not to!

This is a gross over generalization, she was *****footing around with some other guy and got "raped" and by raped I mean she was taking it from this dude in every position possible, not walking down the ****in street. Don't be a trifling ho.

 

[Ace_Magnamus]

you guys are getting off the point

the above answers are why many women don't report rape btw (when it happened to my friend she got all the same kinds of disbelief - and then later the backpeddling from those people when the guy got sent down - albeit for a different rape - but you know that wasn't really the time she needed people to believe in her. those people were only prepared to believe in her once they had some kind of proof - they were more prepared to believe some dude they didn't even know than her - she sure found out who her friends were after that happened!)

of course, she was walking late at night to her car, so she 'deserved it' (back from a rehearsal space of recording her record - she's a producer), so to some of her friends she 'put herself in that position' and deserved no support(!)

Most people who are attacked, raped, stabbed, murdered were alone and 'put themselves in that position'. If i go to my local bar and come back after closing time i have a 15 minute walk down a quite lonely street. Sad thing is, if I'm ever attacked on the way home after a few drinks, i too will have 'deserved it' - after all, why wasn't I safe at home reading a book like a good little boy? I'm never sure why so many people are almost hardwired to blame the victim - or to disbelieve the victim - one other friend didnt get believed when some nutjob jumped her on her doorstep and stabbed her in the hand! shes a feisty character, despite being 5'2 managed to fight him off but certain people thought she 'asked for it'! find this stuff kinda weird personally)

anyway my point is i dont really think anyone deserves to be attacked or raped no matter what they were wearing or where they were walking and we should blame people who carry out crimes, not their victims. i've never attacked or raped anyone, can't be that hard not to!

I wasn't going to add anymore to this but I'll jump in again.

Nobody deserves to have anything bad happen to them. even if they are being careless. I agree with mahoney on that.

If you act careless bad things could happen to you. that is the risk you run. but you dont deserve it.

If I was holding a fist of $100 bills walking through the ghetto. Do I deserve to be robbed and beat up? Some might say yes. But I dont. I should be able to walk where ever I want but I can't. I was being careless and I run the risk of getting hurt.

If this story is true or not....she was being careless hanging around other men. she didnt deserve to be hurt. she put herself at risk with her behavior. when you do that things like that can happen. she was being careless

The OP knew she was sneaking around. he did nothng about it. he knew of the other men.

If she wasnt with them then there wouldnt be her story

mahoney compares his friend to the OP's gf...2 different things

she was alone walking to her car......The OP's gf was with other men

The OP said her cousin knows of it and took care of it so there should be some proof if it was taken care of.

The OP's gf knows the guy but wont tell him who it is

why would she protect her attacker from the OP? but only tell the cousin and have the cousin deal with it.

She should want her bf to help and deal with it too instead of hiding it from him. She would want help and she certainly wouldnt protect the other guy who she said did that to her.

Why is she doing that? because she lied to the OP about this incident.

The guy would be in custody if it was reported and taken care of by the cousin. so there would be no need to hide it from the OP.

Her story doesn't add up and neither does his.

but I bet we will get more new info on this each day...stay tuned!

 

[HalfAddict]

Then in every crime it is the fault of the victim because they should have been better prepared. They should have had better security on their houses, they shouldn't live alone, they shouldn't be old or infirm, they shouldn't live in poor areas. If crimes are the responsibility of the victim then why prosecute criminals at all

Now you are oversimplifying the argument, you see crimes are not the fault of the victims, they are the fault of the criminal BUT that does not mean the victim is not responsible for their own well being. For the same reason one does not go to blood territory with a blue bandana wrapped around their head one should not dress like a skank then walk down a seedy street drunk as **** at three am. It may not be that skanks fault entirely but she sure as **** played her part, so stop, think, and make a real argument.

This of course does not hold true for all crimes, some things simply cannot be foreseen, robberies, home invasion ect. but one can sure as **** be ready with some common ****ing sense and a little protection on the street you jackwagon.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

Notice the thread title . . "I've." Not "I thought she was cheating" but "I've thought she was cheating." OP has suspected this for a long time. She saw a sack coming and threw a hail mary. Just my guess.