Is 30 too old?

[JaegerPilot217]

Thanks pbsurf, really helpful encouragement around here, I suppose I should just give a **** and see what happens when I'm out.

I am getting into shape work out hard everyday, surprised how fast the 6 pack is coming back and I can now see 4 again (last time I saw the 6-8 was 22-23 )



Yes they can for sure, I'm afraid with the depression I may have it for life its a chemical thing, I am doing my best to deal with it trying new things. Although that said James Dean had that dark depressive thing (but also rebellious thing) about him that girls went wild for. Perhaps accepting it is a step in the right direction.



Yea too true experience is what should make you better in this field, not too sure about the movie, but maybe studying some PUA and inner game may help somewhat or help me catch up.



I'm not submissive in real life at all. In bed, well I suppose I can meet in the middle, but it'd be so much hotter for me to let her be the aggressor once things have started i.e. I'm happy to escalate to that point etc. I know these women are out there because I have been hit on by them (albeit when I was unwell), just they are a rarer breed.



Jaegerpilot your bitterness and jaded approach to the opposite sex does you no good whatsoever, although it may drive you to some short term successes it will come around and bite you eventually. Turn the thoughts you have around on their head. YOU were the problem because you didn't know how to interact with girls and turn them on.

Think of it as your duty now to do that and educate yourself and practice, and give them the best ONS's they've ever had, because they can't make that happen, a man needs to make it happen. Read Minimal Game by Aaron Sleazy it will help you.

well you see, that's what I hate, I hate that I am the problem, that it's never a girls fault but always a guys fault, and I don't see why that should be a good thing because if a person is never to blame or never at fault for something or anything, that must be a luxury, girls are never dealt with responsibility for anything, ya so what if it is the way it is? doesn't mean I have to like it or enjoy it, I probably wouldn't be so bitter about it if I knew how to interact and talk to girls at a younger age in order to attract them, it's hard not being bitter towards women because for them, if they want to attract someone of the opposite sex, they don't need to know how to interact and talk to guys the right way because they just have to show up, that doesn't require skill.

 

[Spence]

well you see, that's what I hate, I hate that I am the problem, that it's never a girls fault but always a guys fault, and I don't see why that should be a good thing because if a person is never to blame or never at fault for something or anything, that must be a luxury, girls are never dealt with responsibility for anything, ya so what if it is the way it is? doesn't mean I have to like it or enjoy it, I probably wouldn't be so bitter about it if I knew how to interact and talk to girls at a younger age in order to attract them, it's hard not being bitter towards women because for them, if they want to attract someone of the opposite sex, they don't need to know how to interact and talk to guys the right way because they just have to show up, that doesn't require skill.

I went through this when I was 19-20 but got over it quickly.

You believe that your way of thinking and behaviour and mindset are actually "you", they are not. They are at best bad filters of who you really are. If you were truly yourself and not the conditioned self and fearless in expressing it, you would have girls all over you. Learn to relax and be at ease with yourself, this means not thinking through the crappy formulas in your mind you may or may not be aware of.

The current "you" or "ego" is not the type girls fall over, and yet you defend this ego and get bitter towards women.

Drop who you think you are and start experimenting and make it an intention to change and try new things and "learn" about women. This and meditate.

The best 3 words of advice I ever heard from anyone to me was "be a man".

So "be a man", men don't whine, they don't look back. I know it's rich coming from me but I genuinely have and have had a debilitating mental disease that kept me out of society for many years so I couldn't really practice and better myself and my only concern is if I'm too late to do a little catch up in the younger department now that I'm better than I've ever been.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I went through this when I was 19-20 but got over it quickly.

You believe that your way of thinking and behaviour and mindset are actually "you", they are not. They are at best bad filters of who you really are. If you were truly yourself and not the conditioned self and fearless in expressing it, you would have girls all over you. Learn to relax and be at ease with yourself, this means not thinking through the crappy formulas in your mind you may or may not be aware of.

The current "you" or "ego" is not the type girls fall over, and yet you defend this ego and get bitter towards women.

Drop who you think you are and start experimenting and make it an intention to change and try new things and "learn" about women. This and meditate.

The best 3 words of advice I ever heard from anyone to me was "be a man".

So "be a man", men don't whine, they don't look back. I know it's rich coming from me but I genuinely have and have had a debilitating mental disease that kept me out of society for many years so I couldn't really practice and better myself and my only concern is if I'm too late to do a little catch up in the younger department now that I'm better than I've ever been.

it may sound like i'm whining but I just had to vent, to relieve my anger and stress I go to the gym, go like 3 to 4 days a week and have been working out with a personal trainer for the past 3 months, but ya nobody will ever force me to embrace the role or card I was dealt with being a guy that I have to be the one to make something happen or make things happen with a girl, I hate taking responsibility with a huge raging passion, and I don't like how people argue how it supposedly gives us guys "power", women still have the final say, they control the outcome not us guys.

 

[Gray The Prince]

Thank God I found this site back when I was 18.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Yup the earlier the better

 

[Spence]

Thank God I found this site back when I was 18.

Thanks that makes me feel great inside. In my defense I suppose finding it wouldn't have made a difference for me given the mental condition that hit me. Maybe sex would have alleviated it a little.

it may sound like i'm whining but I just had to vent, to relieve my anger and stress I go to the gym, go like 3 to 4 days a week and have been working out with a personal trainer for the past 3 months, but ya nobody will ever force me to embrace the role or card I was dealt with being a guy that I have to be the one to make something happen or make things happen with a girl, I hate taking responsibility with a huge raging passion, and I don't like how people argue how it supposedly gives us guys "power", women still have the final say, they control the outcome not us guys.

You are still whining like a child. Start be "being a man" about it...

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Thanks that makes me feel great inside. In my defense I suppose finding it wouldn't have made a difference for me given the mental condition that hit me. Maybe sex would have alleviated it a little.



You are still whining like a child. Start be "being a man" about it...

Whatever, **** it

 

[Proto514]

Spence,

Just stumbled across this thread. I’m in a situation with some similarities, age 31.

"I did miss the boat"

I’ve taken some time to look really closely at these kinds of feelings lately, and concluded that this may in fact be how some kind of biological (and/or social) imperative manifests in our minds "it’s time to settle down and have children"

Things suddenly seemed clearer once I looked at it like that.

Actually I couldn’t help but react with disgust - I’M the one who’s going to decide whether I’m going to have a kid

There may be more facets to it than this, but see how that thought works for you........

 

[Proto514]

If it is a social thing we feel on entering our 30s, and not just biological, I dare say it could be argued this is a way in which we're under the influence of the so-called Feminine Imperative... presumably such feelings create more willing betas at the "right" time

http://therationalmale.com/2011/12/20/the-feminine-reality/

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Well just had a Skype talk with Johnny Berba, really changed my attitude and perspective on this

 

[DonStevias]

Bro, you are at the gate of good time to be a Don Juan. You are not young nor old, so go and enjoy !!

 

[Spence]

Spence,

Just stumbled across this thread. I’m in a situation with some similarities, age 31.

"I did miss the boat"

I’ve taken some time to look really closely at these kinds of feelings lately, and concluded that this may in fact be how some kind of biological (and/or social) imperative manifests in our minds "it’s time to settle down and have children"

Things suddenly seemed clearer once I looked at it like that.

Actually I couldn’t help but react with disgust - I’M the one who’s going to decide whether I’m going to have a kid

There may be more facets to it than this, but see how that thought works for you........

This is quite a helpful way of looking at it.

My other way I'm trying to think about it is I've been pretty unwell mentally for the past decade, being delusional is very much part of the illness.

So given I can't trust my mind how can I actually determine if I am too old or past it, I mean yea several opportunities have been missed for sure.

Also as I've suffered so much mentally in my 20s isn't it time to start giving a **** depressed or not and just going out and enjoying myself for once and seeing what happens..

 

[Proto514]

If I picture a celebrity like (my favorite example) Russell Brand, 39, the thought of him hooking up with girls in their 20s doesn’t really seem quite so inappropriate. I'm wondering, why is that? Fame? Personality? Because the girls want it? Just being (or seeming) pure alpha? Could this be a double standard feminine society holds for alphas vs. betas which I have unwittingly swallowed?

My other way I'm trying to think about it is I've been pretty unwell mentally for the past decade, being delusional is very much part of the illness.

So given I can't trust my mind how can I actually determine if I am too old or past it, I mean yea several opportunities have been missed for sure.

Curious statement when you think about the alternative. If you could just simply "trust your mind" to totally "determine" it, wouldn't that make you pretty much an inflexible idiot just following whatever thoughts or feelings you happened to have at the time? Better to not make an ideal out of that I'd reckon… Working with what you've got - the best plan

I totally feel you about missed opportunities though. But yeah, when I think back, realistically, how different could it have been?

Also as I've suffered so much mentally in my 20s isn't it time to start giving a **** depressed or not and just going out and enjoying myself for once and seeing what happens..

Having nothing to lose can be pretty freeing

And a good reason for not giving a **** about age ranges...

And hey, we are talking on a web site about how being alpha is the only way to get real results. How alpha is it to see a hot 22 year old and second-guess your attraction based on some kind of feeling likely related to what other people think and instilled into you by society? I haven't been browsing the manosphere or red pill sites all that long or put anything much into practice, but I'm pretty sure the point is that it's exactly that kind of second-guessing which separates us from being alpha - putting other people's ideas/thoughts/whatever first. Especially ideas which coincidentally (or not so coincidentally) favour feminine interests above our own.

 

[Spence]

Thanks proto you are most helpful.

If you could just simply "trust your mind" to totally "determine" it, wouldn't that make you pretty much an inflexible idiot just following whatever thoughts or feelings you happened to have at the time? Better to not make an ideal out of that I'd reckon… Working with what you've got - the best plan

Actually by listening to your mind you do become the inflexible idiot following whatever thoughts and feelings you happened to have at the time.

Mind is the automatic thinker, the reactor, but you are not.

For example when you see a hottie it makes all the excuses in the world and couples those thoughts with fear etc. but you can say **** it and ignore the mind and go and say hello. Mind was just trying to protect you but it was not appropriate in that situation.

My mind is very unwell and cannot be trusted, the amount of bull**** it has sprouted over the years.

Essentially if you are not dealing with severe mental problems, learning to relax and not listen to your mind but instead intuition is a very good way to go about things. (That said mind does have it's place when calculating or creating etc. it just has to be used in the right way) if your mind is healthy and aligned with you it can create a wonderful life.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Johnny Berba, who is British like the OP, is awesome, really is realistic about how it goes

 

[Spence]

Johnny Berba, who is British like the OP, is awesome, really is realistic about how it goes

You've dangled the carrot twice now are you going to elaborate on another perspective or just dangle it again?

 

[Proto514]

Actually by listening to your mind you do become the inflexible idiot following whatever thoughts and feelings you happened to have at the time.

Mind is the automatic thinker, the reactor, but you are not.

For example when you see a hottie it makes all the excuses in the world and couples those thoughts with fear etc. but you can say **** it and ignore the mind and go and say hello. Mind was just trying to protect you but it was not appropriate in that situation.

My mind is very unwell and cannot be trusted, the amount of bull**** it has sprouted over the years.

Essentially if you are not dealing with severe mental problems, learning to relax and not listen to your mind but instead intuition is a very good way to go about things. (That said mind does have it's place when calculating or creating etc. it just has to be used in the right way) if your mind is healthy and aligned with you it can create a wonderful life.

Amen.

I get the feeling we have encountered similar answers about a few things.

My mind is very unwell and cannot be trusted, the amount of bull**** it has sprouted over the years.

Wouldn’t this just be reactive mind again, though? Turning mind against mind tends to just create more schisms. I believe the key is to just observe the whole thing without adding more judgement, whether apparently true or not

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Thanks pbsurf, really helpful encouragement around here, I suppose I should just give a **** and see what happens when I'm out.

I am getting into shape work out hard everyday, surprised how fast the 6 pack is coming back and I can now see 4 again (last time I saw the 6-8 was 22-23 )



Yes they can for sure, I'm afraid with the depression I may have it for life its a chemical thing, I am doing my best to deal with it trying new things. Although that said James Dean had that dark depressive thing (but also rebellious thing) about him that girls went wild for. Perhaps accepting it is a step in the right direction.



Yea too true experience is what should make you better in this field, not too sure about the movie, but maybe studying some PUA and inner game may help somewhat or help me catch up.



I'm not submissive in real life at all. In bed, well I suppose I can meet in the middle, but it'd be so much hotter for me to let her be the aggressor once things have started i.e. I'm happy to escalate to that point etc. I know these women are out there because I have been hit on by them (albeit when I was unwell), just they are a rarer breed.



Jaegerpilot your bitterness and jaded approach to the opposite sex does you no good whatsoever, although it may drive you to some short term successes it will come around and bite you eventually. Turn the thoughts you have around on their head. YOU were the problem because you didn't know how to interact with girls and turn them on.

Think of it as your duty now to do that and educate yourself and practice, and give them the best ONS's they've ever had, because they can't make that happen, a man needs to make it happen. Read Minimal Game by Aaron Sleazy it will help you.

And why do women not deserve hatred and bitterness towards them?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

OP:

It's NEVER too late, ya hear.

I am 31 and currently dating a 23 year old... among others You are 30, so you do the maths!

For your self, I have experienced many characters such as yours (though obviously I have never met you). I will give you two pieces of advice that will hopefully see you successful from here onward.

1) Grow your own self worth.
Your lack of self worth is what is holding you back. It's not easy, but the only way to get what you want is to go out there and get it. It is easier said than done. You may not get it immediately, but the more you practice, the better you get. I am living proof of that. Allow yourself to become comfortable in social settings and when you see something you want, just go for it! If she turns you down, pfft, there's a thousand others like her and plenty more cueing up behind.

2) Protect your self worth.
Do not become too emotionally invested with anyone, not even when you are married. We set ourselves up for a fall when we do that; there are countless stories on this site displaying this fact. I again am living proof, on more than one occasion. Considering the history of your depression, if you let yourself fall, it may be much harder for you than most to pull yourself up again.

All the best.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

OP:

It's NEVER too late, ya hear.

I am 31 and currently dating a 23 year old... among others You are 30, so you do the maths!

For your self, I have experienced many characters such as yours (though obviously I have never met you). I will give you two pieces of advice that will hopefully see you successful from here onward.

1) Grow your own self worth.
Your lack of self worth is what is holding you back. It's not easy, but the only way to get what you want is to go out there and get it. It is easier said than done. You may not get it immediately, but the more you practice, the better you get. I am living proof of that. Allow yourself to become comfortable in social settings and when you see something you want, just go for it! If she turns you down, pfft, there's a thousand others like her and plenty more cueing up behind.

2) Protect your self worth.
Do not become too emotionally invested with anyone, not even when you are married. We set ourselves up for a fall when we do that; there are countless stories on this site displaying this fact. I again am living proof, on more than one occasion. Considering the history of your depression, if you let yourself fall, it may be much harder for you than most to pull yourself up again.

All the best.

That's interesting to hear