interaction with my next door neighbor failed to go as planned

[GoodMan32]

I left the house at seventeen. My parents were glad to see me go.


I think it depends on your ambition. I have not attained my goal yet, but my goals are not the same as those of the good members here. I attained those goals decades ago.


What can I say, I'm a positive person. I don't think you're stupid, just lazy and risk averse. With the proper guidance, you might be able to overcome your disadvantages, but you're avoiding to take action and you're wallowing in self-pity.
I think something terrible needs to happen before you get shaken out of your autistic stupor and start living instead of just existing.

I'm risk-averse (in some ways) and lazy (in some ways); I totally admit it.

But there's still the problem I mentioned where I failed to pick up (even after knowing these girls for several months) on the fact 2 of my female college classmates weren't open to getting hit on. The fact I came out of my shell (and asked out those 2 classmates without having a panic attack) after the temporary confidence boost upon losing my v-card, that's an example of me tossing my risk aversion out the window (temporarily at least). Yet I still failed.

Why did I fail? Because shedding your risk aversion will only get you so far if you lack the ability to read the room on who's open to getting hit on.

Something terrible has to happen before I snap out of my autistic stupor? I've only had free sex once in the past 9 years (and only been on 2 dates in the past 9 years). That's pretty terrible.

 

[GoodMan32]

FFS, just ask one of them out and you'll have your answer. Too much mind masturbation on your part.

I'd feel like the world's biggest idiot if they turned me down.

For me, feeling like the world's biggest idiot is a fate worse than getting manhandled by a gay man. And I say this as a man who has experience with both of those things.

 

[The Diver]

I'd feel like the world's biggest idiot if they turned me down.

Are you kidding me? Does your worth as a man depend on how women perceive you?
Fear of Rejection is a fear that not only will hold you back with women but in many aspects of your life and you'll do better if you take steps to learn how to conquer your fears.

 

[GoodMan32]

Are you kidding me? Does your worth as a man depend on how women perceive you?
Fear of Rejection is a fear that not only will hold you back with women but in many aspects of your life and you'll do better if you take steps to learn how to conquer your fears.

It isn't the rejection itself that would make me feel like the world's biggest idiot.

Misreading (what I thought was) interest from a woman is what would make me feel like the world's biggest idiot.

I've been rejected by cold approaches. Those rejections didn't make me feel like an idiot (because I didn't even know the woman, therefore had no reason to think the woman was into me)

 

[GoodMan32]

As for my next door neighbor (the topic of the thread), I ran into her when I got home from work today.

She was talking about strategies to increase my odds of getting with the new girl who works in our building.

I couldn't help but think to myself "No!!!! I don't want to get with the new girl. I want to get with you. What part of the new girl is a lot younger than I'd prefer don't you understand?"

 

[The Diver]

I couldn't help but think to myself "No!!!! I don't want to get with the new girl. I want to get with you.

You should have stopped her mid-way and directly, straight forward, bold, and in an unapologetic way, tell her what you thought in your head, and let it roll with whatever will be her answers.

You're overthinking, assuming her answer, and the worse, you disqualify yourself.

 

[GoodMan32]

You should have stopped her mid-way and directly, straight forward, bold, and in an unapologetic way, tell her what you thought in your head, and let it roll with whatever will be her answers.

You're overthinking, assuming her answer, and the worse, you disqualify yourself.

Since my neighbor isn't taking the hint, I thought of an excellent idea to get the point across that I'm into broads much older than me.

Next time my neighbor discusses the new girl with me, I'm going to tell my neighbor: "The new girl's age really is a potential dealbreaker. (Insert name of woman it ended badly with last year) is in her late 30s. And even that's younger than I'd prefer."

 

[BaronOfHair]

Next time my neighbor discusses the new girl with me, I'm going to tell my neighbor: "The new girl's age really is a potential dealbreaker. (Insert name of woman it ended badly with last year) is in her late 30s. And even that's younger than I'd prefer."

And her suspicions("This dude's autism is less of a problem than his complete lack of sense is")will have finally been confirmed. XMas will have arrived early

 

[BaronOfHair]

I couldn't help but think to myself "No!!!! I don't want to get with the new girl. I want to get with you.

Mistaking Hootie's words

for a road map for life is repelling the ladies, faster than The Egyptian Army was fleeing from The IDF, by time Day 2 of The 6 Day War rolled around

 

[The Diver]

Since my neighbor isn't taking the hint, I thought of an excellent idea to get the point across that I'm into broads much older than me.

Next time my neighbor discusses the new girl with me, I'm going to tell my neighbor: "The new girl's age really is a potential dealbreaker. (Insert name of woman it ended badly with last year) is in her late 30s. And even that's younger than I'd prefer."

You're a lost cause.

 

[The Duke]

Trying to help guys like this is futile. Might as well be talking to yourself. In order to keep the population of people like this from taking over the forum, I recommend not replying to him. Eventually he will quit posting.

Corrector is no different. They both play the same tactics.

STOP FEEDING THE TROLLS.

 

[corrector]

Trying to help guys like this is futile. Might as well be talking to yourself. In order to keep the population of people like this from taking over the forum, I recommend not replying to him. Eventually he will quit posting.

Corrector is no different. They both play the same tactics.

STOP FEEDING THE TROLLS.

I did not ask for your help. In fact, name one helpful advice you have contributed to any post on here, from either me or the OP, rather than just attack posts?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It isn't the rejection itself that would make me feel like the world's biggest idiot.

Misreading (what I thought was) interest from a woman is what would make me feel like the world's biggest idiot.

I've been rejected by cold approaches. Those rejections didn't make me feel like an idiot (because I didn't even know the woman, therefore had no reason to think the woman was into me)

Why do you care if she is showing you signs of interest that you are somehow "misreading".

All you should care about is what YOU want to happen and then act accordingly.

Trying to figure out if it's a sign of interest is your first mistake. You simply shouldn't care.

I have no idea where you come up with these thoughts but they honestly don't make any sense. Sounds more like excuses to prevent you from having to actually take action.

Women like men that have balls, act bold and take action. Not so much guys who cower in fear because they are afraid they are misreading if they like them or not in a sexual way.

I mean might as well go write on a piece of paper "Do you want to go out with me?" And put check boxes for "Yes" and "No" and slide it under her door like we are in elementary school.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I mean might as well go write on a piece of paper "Do you want to go out with me?" And put check boxes for "Yes" and "No" and slide it under her door like we are in elementary school.

A substantial portion of supposed adults throughout The English speaking world ARE, psychologically, stuck in elementary school/junior high

 

[BaronOfHair]

Trying to help guys like this is futile. Might as well be talking to yourself. In order to keep the population of people like this from taking over the forum, I recommend not replying to him. Eventually he will quit posting.

Corrector is no different. They both play the same tactics.

STOP FEEDING THE TROLLS.

We all learn from fellas like these what NOT to do. That's just as, if not often MORE educational, than hearing the stories of men who are succeeding

 

[GoodMan32]

And her suspicions("This dude's autism is less of a problem than his complete lack of sense is")will have finally been confirmed. XMas will have arrived early

Do you have a better way to hint at the topic of older women (without coming out and telling my neighbor I'm into her)?

And I'm pretty sure my neighbor has no clue I'm on the spectrum. For what it's worth, one of the posters on here has seen a YouTube vid of me. He said I don't give off any surefire tells of being on the spectrum in the vid.

 

[GoodMan32]

Mistaking Hootie's words

for a road map for life is repelling the ladies, faster than The Egyptian Army was fleeing from The IDF, by time Day 2 of The 6 Day War rolled around

If getting tunnel vision about my next door neighbor is bad, wouldn't it be equally bad to get tunnel vision about the new girl?

Besides, it doesn't have to be my next door neighbor. All I want is for my next free sex to be with a woman old enough for my liking. The new girl falls short by 20 years.

Let's say I (hypothetically) got the new girl into bed. There's a high chance I'd chicken out of sex. I have a track record of chickening out when a young fertile woman offers me sex (I had 2 instances in college where I ended up naked in bed with a young woman after a 1st date, yet chickened out of sex).

Knowing I'd probably chicken out, it makes more sense to write off the new girl.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Do you have a better way to hint at the topic of older women (without coming out and telling my neighbor I'm into her)?

Yeah... Drop this fixation on older women, and start pursuing women your own age and younger. I don't claim any of this will be easy... You suffer from a deeply entrenched belief system that will require effort to modify. Nonetheless, the way out really is just as SIMPLE as what I just recommended

 

[GoodMan32]

Why do you care if she is showing you signs of interest that you are somehow "misreading".

All you should care about is what YOU want to happen and then act accordingly.

Trying to figure out if it's a sign of interest is your first mistake. You simply shouldn't care.

I have no idea where you come up with these thoughts but they honestly don't make any sense. Sounds more like excuses to prevent you from having to actually take action.

Women like men that have balls, act bold and take action. Not so much guys who cower in fear because they are afraid they are misreading if they like them or not in a sexual way.

I mean might as well go write on a piece of paper "Do you want to go out with me?" And put check boxes for "Yes" and "No" and slide it under her door like we are in elementary school.

Maybe because those of us on the spectrum have a track record of misreading all sorts of stuff (not just a woman's interest level). It takes a toll on us.

For the sake of the discussion, let's focus solely on misreading a woman's interest. I've misjudged a woman's interest so many times in the past, it makes me doubt my ability to gauge a woman's interest.

I've seriously never gotten free sex from making a move on a woman in person. My free sex has mainly come from online. The 2 free sex partners I met somewhere other than the internet just sort of happened (with neither of us officially making the move)

As for dates, I've only ever gotten one date from making a move on a woman in person. The rest of my dates have either come from tech methods, the woman making a move on me, or just sort of happened (like when I was acting as a wingman, yet the woman ended up picking me)

It would be one thing if a man's track record was 50/50 with reading a woman's clues correctly. But in my case, I misread a woman 100% of the time on sex (and over 90% of the time when it comes to dates). With percentages like mine, making a move on a woman becomes an exercise in humiliation.

The "balls" I've shown on my in-person approaches haven't gotten me far.

As an analogy, imagine a teen misses every single shot from the free throw line when practicing basketball at the public basketball court (and has only ever nailed 1 layup when practicing at the public basketball court). Would you really blame him if he opts out of the humiliation that would come from trying out for his high school basketball team?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Maybe because those of us on the spectrum have a track record of misreading all sorts of stuff (not just a woman's interest level). It takes a toll on us.

For the sake of the discussion, let's focus solely on misreading a woman's interest. I've misjudged a woman's interest so many times in the past, it makes me doubt my ability to gauge a woman's interest.

I've seriously never gotten free sex from making a move on a woman in person. My free sex has mainly come from online. The 2 free sex partners I met somewhere other than the internet just sort of happened (with neither of us officially making the move)

As for dates, I've only ever gotten one date from making a move on a woman in person. The rest of my dates have either come from tech methods, the woman making a move on me, or just sort of happened (like when I was acting as a wingman, yet the woman ended up picking me)

It would be one thing if a man's track record was 50/50 with reading a woman's clues correctly. But in my case, I misread a woman 100% of the time on sex (and over 90% of the time when it comes to dates). With percentages like mine, making a move on a woman becomes an exercise in humiliation.

The "balls" I've shown on my in-person approaches haven't gotten me far.

As an analogy, imagine a teen misses every single shot from the free throw line when practicing basketball at the public basketball court (and has only ever nailed 1 layup when practicing at the public basketball court). Would you really blame him if he opts out of the humiliation that would come from trying out for his high school basketball team?

Just can't anymore...you do whatever you want because that's what you are going to do anyway.

Continuing this convo is pointless