interaction with my next door neighbor failed to go as planned

[GoodMan32]

I was the freaky creep of my own family from toddlerhood throughout adolescence, hoss... I had a violent, malignant mother and a father who personified "simp", long before that word was in wide circulation, and being weird and goofy was a defense mechanism: If I didn't seem like a potential threat, you were less likely to be assaulted

Like every other man in the history of our species, I had lessons that needed to be unlearned, and healthier mindsets and behaviors to be adopted. And like everyone else here at SS, I'm STILL evolving, unlearning, relearning

Seeing as you went through all the trouble to seek this forum out and become a member, I urge you to join us on the journey. As I state elsewhere: We wouldn't all be in your case, if we didn't want you to succeed

Growing up, I was the freaky creep of my family too (which my mom liked to point out)

 

[GoodMan32]

I was bullied until I almost killed a bully, then I was a 'psycho'. Which was fine with me, as long as they let me be.

Somewhat similar story here (although I never nearly killed anyone)

After moving to my current city, I ended up in positions where I could have died (became I came across as an easy target). I then learned a secret; the exercising of this secret has led to many a shady character avoiding/being afraid of me.

Like you, my attitude is "if that's what it takes to be left alone"

 

[BaronOfHair]

Growing up, I was the freaky creep of my family too (which my mom liked to point out)

You're not a child anymore. You have the power to start living consciously; and leading a voluntary life. Part of that means taking the assistance you're provided here, free of charge

 

[GoodMan32]

We all have been rejected school, in school nobody knows better, right now those guys and girls would give anything to have the life I have now.

We all have been bullied by family too, get over it, you're 25, at 25 I was working hard to move out of my parents house, like you should.

Every member in here hasn't peak yet, cause when you get to the highest you get board, that's called delayed gratification and when you peaked later in life, you get to enjoy it better, than peaking early. Even @AmsterdamAssassin hasn't peaked yet, just imagine that.

25? I'm 33.

Speaking of @AmsterdamAssassin, he told me yesterday that if I were to join a social group, I'd figure out which female members were open to getting hit on within a month (but he said most men would figure it out within 5-10 days).

He was giving me way too much credit (with his guess that I'd figure it out within a month). The 2 female college classmates I mentioned who I managed to ask out without having a panic attack? I had known those broads for several months by the time of the ask out. Apparently several months wasn't even enough time for me to figure out they weren't open to getting hit on.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

We all have been bullied by family too, get over it, you're 25, at 25 I was working hard to move out of my parents house, like you should.

I left the house at seventeen. My parents were glad to see me go.

Even @AmsterdamAssassin hasn't peaked yet, just imagine that.

I think it depends on your ambition. I have not attained my goal yet, but my goals are not the same as those of the good members here. I attained those goals decades ago.

He was giving me way too much credit (with his guess that I'd figure it out within a month).

What can I say, I'm a positive person. I don't think you're stupid, just lazy and risk averse. With the proper guidance, you might be able to overcome your disadvantages, but you're avoiding to take action and you're wallowing in self-pity.
I think something terrible needs to happen before you get shaken out of your autistic stupor and start living instead of just existing.

 

[The Diver]

I've mentioned before on here that I lust after my next door neighbor who's nearly 20 years older than me (she's in her early 50s)
A few months ago, we got a new female employee in our building (the new girl is in her mid 20s). Shortly after the new girl started, my next door neighbor was discussing the new girl with me. It came out that the new girl barely spoke to my next door neighbor (but was extremely talkative with me). My neighbor proposed the idea that maybe the new girl is into me.
When I ran into my next door neighbor and her dogs today, I made it a point to work the new girl into the discussion (but also made sure the new girl wasn't the first thing I discussed). I told my neighbor that I did an experiment the other day where I purposely bypassed the front desk (and the new girl called me over)
I then mentioned to my neighbor that I find the new girl attractive, I have a lot in common with the new girl, but she's just a lot younger than I prefer (I mentioned the "a lot younger than I prefer" part because that would open the door for my neighbor to ask a follow up question about my age preference, at which point I would have said 45+. Then I would have asked how likely my neighbor thinks it is for a 45+ year old to go for a man my age, at which point the answer could potentially serve as a clue to whether I have a chance with my neighbor)
Unfortunately, the discussion never went in the direction I was hoping. After I made the "a lot younger than I prefer" comment, my neighbor turned the discussion into a discussion about her dogs.

FFS, just ask one of them out and you'll have your answer. Too much mind masturbation on your part.

 

[GoodMan32]

I left the house at seventeen. My parents were glad to see me go.


I think it depends on your ambition. I have not attained my goal yet, but my goals are not the same as those of the good members here. I attained those goals decades ago.


What can I say, I'm a positive person. I don't think you're stupid, just lazy and risk averse. With the proper guidance, you might be able to overcome your disadvantages, but you're avoiding to take action and you're wallowing in self-pity.
I think something terrible needs to happen before you get shaken out of your autistic stupor and start living instead of just existing.

I'm risk-averse (in some ways) and lazy (in some ways); I totally admit it.

But there's still the problem I mentioned where I failed to pick up (even after knowing these girls for several months) on the fact 2 of my female college classmates weren't open to getting hit on. The fact I came out of my shell (and asked out those 2 classmates without having a panic attack) after the temporary confidence boost upon losing my v-card, that's an example of me tossing my risk aversion out the window (temporarily at least). Yet I still failed.

Why did I fail? Because shedding your risk aversion will only get you so far if you lack the ability to read the room on who's open to getting hit on.

Something terrible has to happen before I snap out of my autistic stupor? I've only had free sex once in the past 9 years (and only been on 2 dates in the past 9 years). That's pretty terrible.

 

[GoodMan32]

FFS, just ask one of them out and you'll have your answer. Too much mind masturbation on your part.

I'd feel like the world's biggest idiot if they turned me down.

For me, feeling like the world's biggest idiot is a fate worse than getting manhandled by a gay man. And I say this as a man who has experience with both of those things.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Something terrible has to happen before I snap out of my autistic stupor? I've only had free sex once in the past 9 years (and only been on 2 dates in the past 9 years). That's pretty terrible.

I mean something that would spur you into action, dude. This evidently wasn't terrible enough. Pretty terrible doesn't cut it.

 

[The Diver]

I'd feel like the world's biggest idiot if they turned me down.

Are you kidding me? Does your worth as a man depend on how women perceive you?
Fear of Rejection is a fear that not only will hold you back with women but in many aspects of your life and you'll do better if you take steps to learn how to conquer your fears.

 

[GoodMan32]

Are you kidding me? Does your worth as a man depend on how women perceive you?
Fear of Rejection is a fear that not only will hold you back with women but in many aspects of your life and you'll do better if you take steps to learn how to conquer your fears.

It isn't the rejection itself that would make me feel like the world's biggest idiot.

Misreading (what I thought was) interest from a woman is what would make me feel like the world's biggest idiot.

I've been rejected by cold approaches. Those rejections didn't make me feel like an idiot (because I didn't even know the woman, therefore had no reason to think the woman was into me)

 

[GoodMan32]

As for my next door neighbor (the topic of the thread), I ran into her when I got home from work today.

She was talking about strategies to increase my odds of getting with the new girl who works in our building.

I couldn't help but think to myself "No!!!! I don't want to get with the new girl. I want to get with you. What part of the new girl is a lot younger than I'd prefer don't you understand?"

 

[The Diver]

I couldn't help but think to myself "No!!!! I don't want to get with the new girl. I want to get with you.

You should have stopped her mid-way and directly, straight forward, bold, and in an unapologetic way, tell her what you thought in your head, and let it roll with whatever will be her answers.

You're overthinking, assuming her answer, and the worse, you disqualify yourself.

 

[GoodMan32]

You should have stopped her mid-way and directly, straight forward, bold, and in an unapologetic way, tell her what you thought in your head, and let it roll with whatever will be her answers.

You're overthinking, assuming her answer, and the worse, you disqualify yourself.

Since my neighbor isn't taking the hint, I thought of an excellent idea to get the point across that I'm into broads much older than me.

Next time my neighbor discusses the new girl with me, I'm going to tell my neighbor: "The new girl's age really is a potential dealbreaker. (Insert name of woman it ended badly with last year) is in her late 30s. And even that's younger than I'd prefer."

 

[BaronOfHair]

Next time my neighbor discusses the new girl with me, I'm going to tell my neighbor: "The new girl's age really is a potential dealbreaker. (Insert name of woman it ended badly with last year) is in her late 30s. And even that's younger than I'd prefer."

And her suspicions("This dude's autism is less of a problem than his complete lack of sense is")will have finally been confirmed. XMas will have arrived early

 

[BaronOfHair]

I couldn't help but think to myself "No!!!! I don't want to get with the new girl. I want to get with you.

Mistaking Hootie's words

for a road map for life is repelling the ladies, faster than The Egyptian Army was fleeing from The IDF, by time Day 2 of The 6 Day War rolled around

 

[The Diver]

Since my neighbor isn't taking the hint, I thought of an excellent idea to get the point across that I'm into broads much older than me.

Next time my neighbor discusses the new girl with me, I'm going to tell my neighbor: "The new girl's age really is a potential dealbreaker. (Insert name of woman it ended badly with last year) is in her late 30s. And even that's younger than I'd prefer."

You're a lost cause.

 

[The Duke]

Trying to help guys like this is futile. Might as well be talking to yourself. In order to keep the population of people like this from taking over the forum, I recommend not replying to him. Eventually he will quit posting.

Corrector is no different. They both play the same tactics.

STOP FEEDING THE TROLLS.

 

[corrector]

Trying to help guys like this is futile. Might as well be talking to yourself. In order to keep the population of people like this from taking over the forum, I recommend not replying to him. Eventually he will quit posting.

Corrector is no different. They both play the same tactics.

STOP FEEDING THE TROLLS.

I did not ask for your help. In fact, name one helpful advice you have contributed to any post on here, from either me or the OP, rather than just attack posts?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It isn't the rejection itself that would make me feel like the world's biggest idiot.

Misreading (what I thought was) interest from a woman is what would make me feel like the world's biggest idiot.

I've been rejected by cold approaches. Those rejections didn't make me feel like an idiot (because I didn't even know the woman, therefore had no reason to think the woman was into me)

Why do you care if she is showing you signs of interest that you are somehow "misreading".

All you should care about is what YOU want to happen and then act accordingly.

Trying to figure out if it's a sign of interest is your first mistake. You simply shouldn't care.

I have no idea where you come up with these thoughts but they honestly don't make any sense. Sounds more like excuses to prevent you from having to actually take action.

Women like men that have balls, act bold and take action. Not so much guys who cower in fear because they are afraid they are misreading if they like them or not in a sexual way.

I mean might as well go write on a piece of paper "Do you want to go out with me?" And put check boxes for "Yes" and "No" and slide it under her door like we are in elementary school.