Initiating female contact as a male gender role is not as bad as it seems

[oc16]

Alot of us men complain that it stinks that the man has to initiate everything (e.g. the approach, setting up the date, etc.)

However, at least we are in control and can pick and choose which women we want to talk to.

Imagine how frustrating it is for a woman who is trying to get the attention of a man she finds attractive hoping he will approach. Not to mention, getting approached by men who you gave zero IOI's to.

"Did he not notice that I gave him a slight smile as I walked by? Maybe I should of smiled bigger? Maybe I should of looked over more? Maybe I should of locked eyes with him longer, etc. etc. Of course, woman can approach men and initiate contact, but very few women will and frankly I think most men are turned off by it.

Women might have it easier in the amount of attention they get from the opposite sex, but at least we are in control of who we want to approach.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Alot of us men complain that it stinks that the man has to initiate everything (e.g. the approach, setting up the date, etc.)

However, at least we are in control and can pick and choose which women we want to talk to.

Imagine how frustrating it is for a woman who is trying to get the attention of a man she finds attractive hoping he will approach. Not to mention, getting approached by men who you gave zero IOI's to.

"Did he not notice that I gave him a slight smile as I walked by? Maybe I should of smiled bigger? Maybe I should of looked over more? Maybe I should of locked eyes with him longer, etc. etc. Of course, woman can approach men and initiate contact, but very few women will and frankly I think most men are turned off by it.

Women might have it easier in the amount of attention they get from the opposite sex, but at least we are in control of who we want to approach.

obviously this is nothing new, won't surprise me if its been this way since we humans were more ape-like, prehistoric times, etc., yes, i do agree that women tend to on average get more attention than men do, a lot of people have the mindset, that men are naturally in scarcity with women but women are naturally in abundance with women. Dating App statistics or online dating stats prove that, this state of affairs is i'm sure the main reason why, its always been more common for men than for women to remain chronically alone and single later than normal, its a debate or a topic of discussion that will never end, even though yes it is a waste of time, doesn't serve any useful purpose, but lots of men in the world have the mindset, that they believe men have it harder than women do when it comes to dating.

I would say thats especially true depending on the age-rage of men and women, its often said that women have a very easy ride for a certain number of years.

 

[corrector]

Alot of us men complain that it stinks that the man has to initiate everything (e.g. the approach, setting up the date, etc.)

However, at least we are in control and can pick and choose which women we want to talk to.

That sounds good on paper, but it does not work that way. It's like saying I can file a lawsuit against a bank for a million dollars. Just because you have a right to do something doesn't mean you are going to get a desired outcome. Especially with the Me-Too movement and feminism, creates a toxic climate for making approaches unless there is a clear IOI from a woman that she wants you to approach her.

Imagine how frustrating it is for a woman who is trying to get the attention of a man she finds attractive hoping he will approach. Not to mention, getting approached by men who you gave zero IOI's to.

Like you mentioned "getting approached by men who you gave zero IOIs too"....how do you think the guy feels if a woman feels like that? That his approach was not welcome. If your approach is not welcome, what is the value of making that choice which will lead to a poor interaction or rejection? This is assuming you don't get into any further trouble.

"Did he not notice that I gave him a slight smile as I walked by? Maybe I should of smiled bigger? Maybe I should of looked over more? Maybe I should of locked eyes with him longer, etc. etc. Of course, woman can approach men and initiate contact, but very few women will and frankly I think most men are turned off by it.

That is cope. Are we talking about the top 10% of chad/chadlites here or ordinary everyday guys?

Women might have it easier in the amount of attention they get from the opposite sex, but at least we are in control of who we want to approach.

You are not in control if the approach is welcome.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Alot of us men complain that it stinks that the man has to initiate everything (e.g. the approach, setting up the date, etc.)

However, at least we are in control and can pick and choose which women we want to talk to.

Imagine how frustrating it is for a woman who is trying to get the attention of a man she finds attractive hoping he will approach. Not to mention, getting approached by men who you gave zero IOI's to.

"Did he not notice that I gave him a slight smile as I walked by? Maybe I should of smiled bigger? Maybe I should of looked over more? Maybe I should of locked eyes with him longer, etc. etc. Of course, woman can approach men and initiate contact, but very few women will and frankly I think most men are turned off by it..

Alot of us men complain that it stinks that the man has to initiate everything (e.g. the approach, setting up the date, etc.)

However, at least we are in control and can pick and choose which women we want to talk to.

Imagine how frustrating it is for a woman who is trying to get the attention of a man she finds attractive hoping he will approach. Not to mention, getting approached by men who you gave zero IOI's to.

"Did he not notice that I gave him a slight smile as I walked by? Maybe I should of smiled bigger? Maybe I should of looked over more? Maybe I should of locked eyes with him longer, etc. etc. Of course, woman can approach men and initiate contact, but very few women will and frankly I think most men are turned off by it.

Women might have it easier in the amount of attention they get from the opposite sex, but at least we are in control of who we want to approach.

I wouldn’t say it is ‘common’, but women absolutely do approach.
I’ve been approached and definitely am not ‘turned off’ by it. It actually makes me like her more as she had the moxie to shoot her shot.

Although I can’t prove it, I’d bet that since the advent of Feminism, the frequency of women initiating contact has increased quite a bit. I’ve noticed that when women do approach or initiate, they rarely seem nervous. Rather, they appear happy, light-hearted and enjoying themselves.

 

[GoodMan32]

It's true that even if a woman gets lots of attention from men, that doesn't necessarily mean she'll get attention from her ideal man.

That being said, the fact a woman even thinks about getting with her ideal man shows how entitled a woman is.

The vast majority of men will never get with our ideal woman. We're forced to accept this fact.

My ideal woman is Naomi Watts (I've been into her since I was a pre-teen; I'm currently 33). Guess what though? I'm aware I'm never going to get with Naomi Watts.

Rather than a woman stressing out over the fact she's getting no attention from her ideal man, she should be grateful for all the attention she is getting. Some of my free sex has come from (what one poster on here referred to as) dumpster diving. At least a woman will never have to dumpster dive.

In other words, a woman's idea of a "problem" (sexually) is being unable to get her ideal partner.

A man, on the other hand, is far more likely to subjected to a true dilemma: Being unable to get a partner at all (or at the very least, having to dumpster dive to get a partner)

 

[Hamurabimbi]

It's true that even if a woman gets lots of attention from men, that doesn't necessarily mean she'll get attention from her ideal man.

That being said, the fact a woman even thinks about getting with her ideal man shows how entitled a woman is.

The vast majority of men will never get with our ideal woman. We're forced to accept this fact.

My ideal woman is Naomi Watts (I've been into her since I was a pre-teen; I'm currently 33). Guess what though? I'm aware I'm never going to get with Naomi Watts.

Rather than a woman stressing out over the fact she's getting no attention from her ideal man, she should be grateful for all the attention she is getting. Some of my free sex has come from (what one poster on here referred to as) dumpster diving. At least a woman will never have to dumpster dive.

In other words, a woman's idea of a "problem" (sexually) is being unable to get her ideal partner.

A man, on the other hand, is far more likely to subjected to a true dilemma: Being unable to get a partner at all (or at the very least, having to dumpster dive to get a partner)

I think ‘ideal man’ ‘Mr. Right’ are just outdated concepts. . Maybe something out of Jane Austen. . I don’t believe women really think like that.
I doubt I’m any woman’s ‘Ideal Man’. I’m a short nerd. Granted, I have a good face, but I’m in no way a ‘classic Chad.’. Yet I don’t have a problem getting women.
I think women are just horny and want sex. And if one appears like he can lay some good pipe, that is enough.

 

[GoodMan32]

I think ‘ideal man’ ‘Mr. Right’ are just outdated concepts. . Maybe something out of Jane Austen. . I don’t believe women really think like that.
I doubt I’m any woman’s ‘Ideal Man’. I’m a short nerd. Granted, I have a good face, but I’m in no way a ‘classic Chad.’. Yet I don’t have a problem getting women.
I think women are just horny and want sex. And if one appears like he can lay some good pipe, that is enough.

On an internet discussion a while back (different website), I remember male posters pointing out how easy a woman has it sexually.

Female posters then insisted attention from a man is meaningless unless he's her ideal man.

 

[GoodMan32]

Or she has realistic expectations.

Unlike:

Hankering after unattainable women.


Are you grateful for people flirting with you who you find unattractive? Like, I don't know, old gay men or transgender women?


So you're jealous that they don't have enough control not to fcuk undesirables?


No, that is what happens to boys without emotional self control who impulsively follow their desperate urges.

From time to time, a screenshot of a woman's dating profile will go viral. There are fat single moms with all sorts of baggage, yet they have all sorts of insane criteria their man must meet. I wouldn't call that realistic expectations.

Plenty of girls hanker after unattainable guys. At the same time I had my middle school crush on Naomi Watts, I remember female classmates having crushes on Nick Lachey, Eminem, Billie from Green Day, etc.

And yeah, I'm grateful for attention, even if it comes from demographics I'm not into. I've gotten a decent amount of attention from gay guys. I'm flattered they're into me (I just wish straight broads would be as persistent with me as some of these gay guys are).

It's not that women have enough self-control to refrain from getting with undesirables. It's that a woman will never have to sink as low as getting with an undesirable. Put it this way, a woman with my looks would never have to dumpster dive.

My count of free partners (which is in the single digits to begin with) would be even lower if it weren't for dumpster diving.

 

[corrector]

And yeah, I'm grateful for attention, even if it comes from demographics I'm not into. I've gotten a decent amount of attention from gay guys. I'm flattered they're into me (I just wish straight broads would be as persistent with me as some of these gay guys are).

I thought you were talking about women from other races (ie like Black women), etc... when you mentioned demographics. For example, @Hamurabimbi has a Black girlfriend, and he is White. There are others here who refuse to date any to other race apart from their own and then make a bunch of incel threads or complain about how great they are in looks but can't land a date.

Personally I wouldn't be flattered by any attention from gay guys. It means I'm not engaging enough with women for them to believe I'm straight. That sounds terrible.

 

[GoodMan32]

I thought you were talking about women from other races (ie like Black women), etc... when you mentioned demographics. For example, @Hamurabimbi has a Black girlfriend, and he is White. There are others here who refuse to date any to other race apart from their own and then make a bunch of incel threads or complain about how great they are in looks but can't land a date.

Personally I wouldn't be flattered by any attention from gay guys. It means I'm not engaging enough with women for them to believe I'm straight. That sounds terrible.

I see why you initially thought I was talking about race when I said "demographics." Race is typically what one means by "demographics."

But no, I was talking more about women I'm not into, gay guys, etc.

I've mentioned before on here that I'm totally willing to branch outside my race.

A gay guy coming onto you doesn't necessarily mean he thinks you're gay; all it means is he finds you attractive. Men are horndogs. If a man is attracted to another man, he has no qualms about shooting his shot (even without knowing whether the man is gay). That's why I'm flattered by attention from gay guys (because it means they find me attractive)

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I thought you were talking about women from other races (ie like Black women), etc... when you mentioned demographics. For example, @Hamurabimbi has a Black girlfriend, and he is White. There are others here who refuse to date any to other race apart from their own and then make a bunch of incel threads or complain about how great they are in looks but can't land a date.

Personally I wouldn't be flattered by any attention from gay guys. It means I'm not engaging enough with women for them to believe I'm straight. That sounds terrible.

actually. my current GF is not Black.

 

[corrector]

actually. my current GF is not Black.

Okay, what the update story?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Okay, what the update story?

No real update. I haven’t had a Black GF in a while. I still find Black women very hot. But. My GF is not Black.

 

[corrector]

I see why you initially thought I was talking about race when I said "demographics." Race is typically what one means by "demographics."

But no, I was talking more about women I'm not into, gay guys, etc.

I've mentioned before on here that I'm totally willing to branch outside my race.

A gay guy coming onto you doesn't necessarily mean he thinks you're gay; all it means is he finds you attractive. Men are horndogs. If a man is attracted to another man, he has no qualms about shooting his shot (even without knowing whether the man is gay). That's why I'm flattered by attention from gay guys (because it means they find me attractive)

To each their own, but again, I personally don't like or want any of that type of attention from other guys like that because they are still guys. They are still not women. I'd want any romantic, sexual and pleutonic attention to come from women for it to count. That's why I'd rather hug a woman but would avoid hugging a guy even if it's pleutonic, etc....

 

[oc16]

I see why you initially thought I was talking about race when I said "demographics." Race is typically what one means by "demographics."

But no, I was talking more about women I'm not into, gay guys, etc.

I've mentioned before on here that I'm totally willing to branch outside my race.

A gay guy coming onto you doesn't necessarily mean he thinks you're gay; all it means is he finds you attractive. Men are horndogs. If a man is attracted to another man, he has no qualms about shooting his shot (even without knowing whether the man is gay). That's why I'm flattered by attention from gay guys (because it means they find me attractive)

Not to mention gay guys have higher standards (not into fat people). If a gay guy finds you attractive, it confirms that you are. I'm not gay, but just an assumption about them.

 

[GoodMan32]

Not to mention gay guys have higher standards (not into fat people). If a gay guy finds you attractive, it confirms that you are. I'm not gay, but just an assumption about them.

Yeah. I have decent looks (even if not a 10). My social awkwardness is what repels the ladies.

Gay guys, on the other hand, don't give a damn about social awkwardness. Gay guys care more about looks alone.

 

[oc16]

Yeah. I have decent looks (even if not a 10). My social awkwardness is what repels the ladies.

Gay guys, on the other hand, don't give a damn about social awkwardness. Gay guys care more about looks alone.

What makes you socially awkward?

 

[GoodMan32]

What makes you socially awkward?

I'm on the spectrum.

Here's the analogy I've used before to describe being on the spectrum vs having garden variety social awkwardness:

If you've ever watched Big Bang Theory, Leonard is garden variety socially awkward. When he commits a social blunder, he typically catches himself right away (and is able to laugh it off). It's no wonder Leonard managed to get Penny (a beautiful normal woman) on season 2

Sheldon and Howard, on the other hand, I'm pretty sure are on the spectrum (even though the producers insist no one on the show is on the spectrum). When Sheldon and Howard commit a social blunder, they have no idea they did anything wrong. Before he gets with Bernadette, the girls Howard pursues are genuinely creeped out by him. Sheldon doesn't really pursue anyone, but the outside world in general is repulsed by him.

 

[oc16]

I'm on the spectrum.

Here's the analogy I've used before to describe being on the spectrum vs having garden variety social awkwardness:

If you've ever watched Big Bang Theory, Leonard is garden variety socially awkward. When he commits a social blunder, he typically catches himself right away (and is able to laugh it off). It's no wonder Leonard managed to get Penny (a beautiful normal woman) on season 2

Sheldon and Howard, on the other hand, I'm pretty sure are on the spectrum (even though the producers insist no one on the show is on the spectrum). When Sheldon and Howard commit a social blunder, they have no idea they did anything wrong. Before he gets with Bernadette, the girls Howard pursues are genuinely creeped out by him. Sheldon doesn't really pursue anyone, but the outside world in general is repulsed by him.

Understood. I have colleagues who are on the spectrum and see what you mean.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Not to mention gay guys have higher standards (not into fat people). If a gay guy finds you attractive, it confirms that you are. I'm not gay, but just an assumption about them.

I used to occasionally work near the Castro (the gayest part of SF). Gay baristas would often give me free coffee. I drank it black.