betheman said:
Now this guy wasnt married to the woman, does your objective view take into account marriage vows?, you know, the standing before god this or whoever, in public, stating you wil stick by the person, through sickness as in health, better or worse, richer or poorer until death? basically whatever the f ccuk life throws at you?
p.s. are you BB's mother?
Is this a real question, am I supposed to take you seriously?
I'll ignore the stupid last question.
Obviously marriage is more serious. Even then, if a man was a husband or a father to children, and was a restaurant supervisor who could afford to give his family a better lifestyle simply by striving to be a GM or something higher on the totem pole that was completely attainable, and that presented issues on the quality of life, then yes I could see wifey getting sick of it and wanting to do better for herself and her family after a long period of time of waiting, to no avail.
Some people are happy with the very simple things in life and with never going anywhere outside of their hometowns save once every five years, and with their kids wardrobes consisting of hand me downs and not enough money for band camp or gymnastics, and never going out to eat. Some people get stuck in that life, and make the best of it and are happy for it.
And my point isn't even about money, which everyone is hung up on.
It's about quality of life, living life to the fullest that you can. I mentioned teachers and firemen, who usually don't make much. However, that is what their goal in life was to be, and they went out and attained that position. They are probably ok with the sacrifice of a lower wage than say a doctor.
But if you are a line cook in a restaurant, why not strive to be a chef? If you are flipping burgers at BK, why not strive to be the GM of the store? I mean be real here. Some jobs are just jobs. Changing tires at an auto store, a cashier at the grocery store, a supervisor at a store or restaurant, things like that are not going to be very fulfilling. They aren't going to pay much, and are usually temporary while you pursue something bigger.
For some people, yeah that is the best they can do and that is indeed respectable. You gotta do what you gotta do, and sometimes you can't do a whole lot with the hand you were dealt.
But if you have the opportunity and are
able bodied and minded, what is the issue with striving for the best that you can do/be?
The simple point I am trying to make and reiterate over and over again, is what is wrong with a woman who loses interest in a man with no ambition or motivation. This was no quick year engagement. It was four years of her watching him going nowhere, and apparently not even attempting to. And do you really expect otherwise?
You've got a guy working 40 hour weeks making schedules for cooks and waiters and sitting in the office reading Yahoo news and occasionally coming out to ask diners how everything is. He is making 30G's a year. Benefits most likely suck. But maybe he got a little lucky there. He goes home, drinks a beer, watches tv with his girl by his side. Every night. Four years go by. On the weekends, he grimaces and chokes up at a $50 brunch bill. Vacations are out of the question unless it is on someone else's dime, he is barely affording rent, bills, and day to day expenses. He possibly has room mates to help foot the expenses. Going to the movies is a big and rare deal because seriously that sh!t
is expensive these days. There will be no $100 live theater tickets that's for sure. If kids come into the equation, then welcome to the poorhouse.
I'm sorry... but that really sucks. That's nothing to strive for as a capable man in your late 20's. I don't care who you are.
If you are getting fulfillment from your career and making the world a better place, that is another thing. That is a worthy sacrifice that is enriching.