If you aren't going forward, you are giong backwards

[jhl]

There's not enough to go on in the details provided for me to say the guy's a loser or not. Maybe he is, but it's kind of offensive to me to label a guy a "loser" because he hasn't accumulated as much material possessions as the next guy. What makes a person a loser? Is it a benchmark of things they should have accomplished by a certain age? Is it their attitude and disposition? Is it what they chose to do with their free time?

He's a supervisor at a "nice restaurant" in a state with double-digit unemployment at the age of 27. That's not the mark of a "loser" to me. Maybe the guy is living with roommates and keeping his living costs down because he's saving up money for a rainy day, his eventual retirement or a place of his own. Who knows? Just not enough details. Or maybe he really is drifting through life. The OP never presented any evidence of the guy being a loser other than his car wasn't as nice as the BMW the new guy has, and he's living with roommates whereas the new guy has a nice condo of his own. I can certainly agree that on paper and the surface the new guy has a bit better resume, but it's kind of offensive to me to slam the old guy as a "loser" solely because he doesn't have as much stuff or toys.

I'm all for being ambitious and striving to better ourselves personally and professionally, and if the OP's point was to not get complacent in a relationship and that women value men that are ambitious and going places in life, I have no argument with that. This was just a very poor example to try and illustrate that maxim. Defending a cheater and blaming the guy for her infidelity is just obnoxious, and he got pissy and couldn't handle it when some of the posters pushed back on him for that.

We do not have the full details regarding the guy's situation and you certainly have a legit point based on the evidence that you saw. Each to his own when drawing his conclusions based on the lack of full evidence.

However, I draw a different conclusion b/c of the way we perceive what is defined as a "loser". I routinely see you state that this guy isn't a loser b/c he is a restaurant manager making decent enough money in an economy that is in shambles. I think he's a loser NOT b/c of his status but b/c of statements from BB that point to the guy's intrinsic lack of alphaness.

Very rarely does a guy just pigeonhole another guy into a loser category simply b/c the guy doesn't make enough money. It seems to me what happened was that BB saw this guy as weak and a loser from the very beginning and backward rationalized why he thought was a loser using examples such as the guy's sh*tty job or inability to pay for his trips to Hawaii when in fact there are other underlying reasons. If he truly felt a guy's status/job defined whether or not a guy was a loser, there would be no way he would support someone like Warrior74, who seems to be in a financial mess b/c of unfortunate circumstances.

One thing I know is this. I have a friend who is a restaurant manager. He's about as young as the guy in this thread and makes about 50k a year (probably less than the guy mentioned in the post). Not a great looking guy but classy and alpha as f--k. My friends from Harvard Med School, Rhodes Scholars, Fulbright, and investment banking friends making 250k+ respect the guy. He is quite a character and I bet you if I replace this guy with BB's acquaintance, BB will not be saying the same things. Not even close.

Again, to make sure that my comments are not misconstrued, I'm NOT condoning the behavior of the woman for cheating. I f--king hate branch swinging and cheating women. I sympathize with the guy for that. We all went through something like this and that's why we are here.

However, I don't buy that this guy is at 0 fault. He doesn't get a free pass for simply having a stable job. I see some red flags in both directions and some of them point to him for the mess he's in.

 

[cordoncordon]

Hi BB. I know you are still reading this.

Do me a favor and watch the Real World episode from last night..episode 4. There is this black guy on there who reminds me of you to a T. Good looking guy, smart, well spoken, about your height even I think around 5'8".

Anyway, this guy since the first episode has been very level headed and fun to be around. But in last nights episode, he blew up for no reason whatsoever and turned a very small situation into something huge, much like you are doing here. All because he got overly sensitive and over reacted to something. In this case he jumped down off the dock into the water and stepped on a sea urchin and got poked by its spines. There were a few other people around the dock, including a girl he has been hanging with, a black girl. I have never been attracted to black women but I am this girl. Pretty, smart, sassy, VERY mature and level headed. I would date her. Anyway, the guy blows up at her and ends up blaming her for the whole sea urchin thing. I mean it made no sense. She didn't push him in. She was just standing there and the worst thing you could say she did was laugh at him when he first started to whine about be stung. She even had an oar that she tried to help pull him up with, but according to him he hit her with it haha.

Anyway, he turns this entire incident into this huge drama that lasts for days, blaming her and not taking responsibility for being the damn fool who jumped into the water. I mean this girl was even offering to pay for his medical bill and he was still going off on her. It really made me think of you. One, because the guy just physically reminds me of you. Two because he is a smart guy. And three in the way he went over board in his reaction to the entire thing just totally out of the blue, much like your reaction here. (and past reactions here over the years) Getting upset over something that quite honestly makes no sense.

I really want you to watch this episode in its entirety and then come back here and post about it and compare it to yourself. I think you will find that in the end, both of you guys over reacted and are making way too much out of this than what it really is.

 

[cordoncordon]

Here is the episode.

http://www.mtv.com/videos/real-worl....jhtml#series=2211&seriesId=38735&channelId=1

 

[cordoncordon]

The girls even says it herself when talking about the guy. "he jumped into the water, that wasn't safe to be jumped in, without any protective shoes on....and I'm to blame" (said sarcastically).

I mean it made no sense to blame her, same as it makes no sense for you to get upset and blame people here for not agreeing with you all the time. You are not going to please everyone all the time bro.

 

[iqqi]

I think BB is not mad that people disagreed with him. He is frustrated that they are all just as complacent as Mr. Ruby Tuesday shift manager, who by the way probably is making closer to $40,000 a year not $70,000. He is just a floor manager, which is nothing. The waiters probably make more than he does.

He is frustrated at all the thumb twiddlers on her who complain about women who aren't better than they think women should be, but don't do sh!t as a man to better themselves. He also made a realization in that frustration about himself, which he communicated here, pretty harshly but honestly.

He's on a Pook/Fingz level in real life with his achievements, and while it feels good to come here and try to provide some insight to people who aren't there yet (and quite frankly will never be), the back patting and idolization has helped him become stagnant in his own goals. No one here is really in his league, no one here is exactly his peer.

It's one thing to help another man up, and another thing to just hang out at those lower levels all of the time. You absorb from the mentality around you.

One of my favorite quotes: "Travel only with thy equals or thy betters; if there are none, travel alone." - The Dhammapada

 

[Findog]

I think BB is not mad that people disagreed with him. He is frustrated that they are all just as complacent as Mr. Ruby Tuesday shift manager, who by the way probably is making closer to $40,000 a year not $70,000. He is just a floor manager, which is nothing. The waiters probably make more than he does.


He is frustrated at all the thumb twiddlers on her who complain about women who aren't better than they think women should be, but don't do sh!t as a man to better themselves. He also made a realization in that frustration about himself, which he communicated here, pretty harshly but honestly.

Speak for yourself, but that is projection to say that everybody here is content with their station in life and does not aspire to do great things. What does posting on a messageboard say or not say about what we are doing when we hit the X button on our browsers?

It's a good message to emphasize hard work, practice and working towards goals over sitting on the sidelines in life and espousing theory, but that isn't even remotely what the debate in this thread was about. He wanted to back up a cheater and put the blame on the guy, and that just isn't going to fly with most guys here. This thread doesn't get past two pages if he doesn't bother to defend her conduct. It's fine and true to say that the kind of woman most guys here aspire to have is not going to stick around long-term with a guy who is aimless and drifts through life, but that's a rather Captain Obvious observation, isn't it? I mean, you don't need to log into sosuave to realize that, correct? That isn't some exclusive Yoda Zen Master wisdom he's throwing out, am I right?

He just couldn't concede that his example was not a particularly apt one to demonstrate his point (which is a good one, but not particularly ground-breaking or earth-shattering).

 

[cordoncordon]

I think BB is not mad that people disagreed with him. He is frustrated that they are all just as complacent as Mr. Ruby Tuesday shift manager, who by the way probably is making closer to $40,000 a year not $70,000. He is just a floor manager, which is nothing. The waiters probably make more than he does.

I strongly disagree with you IQQI. And you need to speak for yourself. As I have learned, money does not buy happiness. If the ex is happy being a restaurant manager and wants to work there to get experience to further his goals in that field, and if he is happy doing it? Who are we to say what is good for him?

No one here is really in his league, no one here is exactly his peer.

It's one thing to help another man up, and another thing to just hang out at those lower levels all of the time. You absorb from the mentality around you.

One of my favorite quotes: "Travel only with thy equals or thy betters; if there are none, travel alone." - The Dhammapada

Wow Iqqi, just wow. You really went there. No one is in his league? Lower levels? You really did cut down about 3/4 of the people who post here. Again, you are talking strictly about money are you not? And this is no offense to BB, but are you serious? He has a known bad drug and alcohol history and who attends AA meetings for one. Anyone with that on their resume should never think they are going down to someone else's "level", because in my book that is a HUGE RED flag and personality flaw....and I really hope he doesn't think that and I don't believe he does.

As far as money. I live a few miles from him in a wealthier city. Make mid 6 figures every year. Does that make me better than him or more ambitious? NO. And I know many others do very well financially here as well.

But forget all of that. MONEY AND MATERIAL THINGS DO NOT BUY HAPPINESS. How many times do we have to see real life examples of this?

Just stop with that.

The bottom line he was sticking up for a cheater and got upset when some didn't agree with him. That's on him. No one else. Not everyone in life is going to kiss your azz.

 

[Burroughs]

Backbreaker just had a cocaine flashback that gave him a little jolt to the ego

then when posters here gave him a little reality check

that reality check angered him as it forced him to confront his own shortcomings.

but rather than face those shortcomings he lashed out.

simple.

It happens all the time with former drug addicts

 

[cordoncordon]

I think BB is not mad that people disagreed with him. He is frustrated that they are all just as complacent as Mr. Ruby Tuesday shift manager, who by the way probably is making closer to $40,000 a year not $70,000. He is just a floor manager, which is nothing. The waiters probably make more than he does.

He is frustrated at all the thumb twiddlers on her who complain about women who aren't better than they think women should be, but don't do sh!t as a man to better themselves. He also made a realization in that frustration about himself, which he communicated here, pretty harshly but honestly.

He's on a Pook/Fingz level in real life with his achievements, and while it feels good to come here and try to provide some insight to people who aren't there yet (and quite frankly will never be), the back patting and idolization has helped him become stagnant in his own goals. No one here is really in his league, no one here is exactly his peer.

It's one thing to help another man up, and another thing to just hang out at those lower levels all of the time. You absorb from the mentality around you.

One of my favorite quotes: "Travel only with thy equals or thy betters; if there are none, travel alone." - The Dhammapada

Iqqi I don't know what you do now, but I remember plenty of posts from you about how you basically slept all day, didn't do much, lived and slept in your van, and had no money and no job. And you really can say that about this guy? Especially he being in CA which believe me is not exactly a hotbed in the USA for jobs right now.

Wow.

You are trying to justify this girl cheating, just like you usually stick up for the woman no matter what they do.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think BB is not mad that people disagreed with him. He is frustrated that they are all just as complacent as Mr. Ruby Tuesday shift manager, who by the way probably is making closer to $40,000 a year not $70,000. He is just a floor manager, which is nothing. The waiters probably make more than he does.

He is frustrated at all the thumb twiddlers on her who complain about women who aren't better than they think women should be, but don't do sh!t as a man to better themselves. He also made a realization in that frustration about himself, which he communicated here, pretty harshly but honestly.

He's on a Pook/Fingz level in real life with his achievements, and while it feels good to come here and try to provide some insight to people who aren't there yet (and quite frankly will never be), the back patting and idolization has helped him become stagnant in his own goals. No one here is really in his league, no one here is exactly his peer.

It's one thing to help another man up, and another thing to just hang out at those lower levels all of the time. You absorb from the mentality around you.

One of my favorite quotes: "Travel only with thy equals or thy betters; if there are none, travel alone." - The Dhammapada

This has to be one of the most inane posts I've ever read on this site, and on so many levels. Where would I even start? LOL, perhaps I won't even start. I'm pretty sure it speaks for itself and I trust that the irony is not lost on most readers. Just when you think she can't depart farther from reality....

 

[Iceberg]

He is frustrated at all the thumb twiddlers on her who complain about women who aren't better than they think women should be, but don't do sh!t as a man to better themselves. He also made a realization in that frustration about himself, which he communicated here, pretty harshly but honestly.

I would agree with you that there's too much of that on the board. Men who don't (or can't) improve, so they ache for the 1800's when a man could just go out and marry any woman desperate enough to leave her parents home.

Any problems that I have with women.....well, I don't blame women for being women. I blame myself for chasing the wrong girls. Or for doubting myself. Hesitating. My issues in life come back to me...and a lot of guys here would rather blame women or society or blah blah blah.

But the agreements stop there.

He's on a Pook/Fingz level in real life with his achievements, and while it feels good to come here and try to provide some insight to people who aren't there yet (and quite frankly will never be), the back patting and idolization has helped him become stagnant in his own goals. No one here is really in his league, no one here is exactly his peer.

Or perhaps it's just that no one is quite as vocal about their success. Love the guy, but I've never seen a "successful" person spend so much time talking about their success.

Normally, I'm just like "Ah, that's just BB being BB." but since you're saying that no one is on his level, I'm put in a position of defending the other guys.

I'm 31 with no kids, a degree, no debt, and a 6-figure salary. I grew up in a poor neighborhood in a house that consistently got burglarized...however, I don't see this as an essential part of the "Iceberg story," so I don't talk about it. I don't need every story I tell to include, "Yeah dudes, so I make a six-figure salary." And really, I don't hate that BB does. However, I dont think that talking about success is the only definition of success. It's almost insulting to think that it would be.

One of my favorite quotes: "Travel only with thy equals or thy betters; if there are none, travel alone." - The Dhammapada

See, I'd agree with this philosophy if it weren't being used in an attempt to insult people here.

Some of the men here are truly on a journey of self improvement. Some are simply destined to be angry. But I'm not going to swoop down on a cloud of judgment, declaring myself and the SoSuave posters I respect as "my equals and betters". The people who I respect know that I respect them.....I dont need to insult the other guys to show that I respect the good guys.

 

[iqqi]

I strongly disagree with you IQQI. And you need to speak for yourself. As I have learned, money does not buy happiness. If the ex is happy being a restaurant manager and wants to work there to get experience to further his goals in that field, and if he is happy doing it? Who are we to say what is good for him?

Wow Iqqi, just wow. You really went there. No one is in his league? Lower levels? You really did cut down about 3/4 of the people who post here. Again, you are talking strictly about money are you not? And this is no offense to BB, but are you serious? He has a known bad drug and alcohol history and who attends AA meetings for one. Anyone with that on their resume should never think they are going down to someone else's "level", because in my book that is a HUGE RED flag and personality flaw....and I really hope he doesn't think that and I don't believe he does.

As far as money. I live a few miles from him in a wealthier city. Make mid 6 figures every year. Does that make me better than him or more ambitious? NO. And I know many others do very well financially here as well.

But forget all of that. MONEY AND MATERIAL THINGS DO NOT BUY HAPPINESS. How many times do we have to see real life examples of this?

Just stop with that.

The bottom line he was sticking up for a cheater and got upset when some didn't agree with him. That's on him. No one else. Not everyone in life is going to kiss your azz.

Well, quickly...

I know money does not buy happiness. I am a firm believer in that. But BB is accomplished. He has a very, very good life that he made for himself. He does not have the problems that 99% of the guys on this site has. He is successful. Most guys on here simply are not. Not with women, and also not in life. Yeah, some are. But most are not. This is a site full of frustrated men, and they are frustrated because they don't have what they want. BB's frustration with the men here has to do with that fact, and how most here just want to b!tch and whine instead of achieving goals. Hell, they are pretty much here just to b!tch and whine, and not achieve goals. It's pathetic! I agree with him on that.

His background has nothing to do with where he is now and his success now. If anything, it should be even more of a motivator for those here who did not battle such obstacles. You mean an overweight AFC crackhead could become wealthy, with a nice house, awesome career, and hot English chick wife all before the age of 30.... and you can't even get a girl to like you back? (in general I'm saying.)

That's nice you do well, but while you are condemning the chick don't make me remind you of your own cheating, branch swinging ways.

Iqqi I don't know what you do now, but I remember plenty of posts from you about how you basically slept all day, didn't do much, lived and slept in your van, and had no money and no job. And you really can say that about this guy? Especially he being in CA which believe me is not exactly a hotbed in the USA for jobs right now.

Wow.

You are trying to justify this girl cheating, just like you usually stick up for the woman no matter what they do.

Well not that my life has anything to do with the topic, but yeah, I took a serious chance in life with absolutely nothing, and now I am doing quite fine for myself, thank you for being concerned. I am doing very well financially, I travel often which as always been my goal, I have plenty of free time, I am in a happy relationship that is going on three years, I live in an awesome home, have awesome new friendships... I can't even imagine where I was three years ago my leaps have been so magnificent. And that is all thanks to my inability to just sit and rot and b!tch and whine.

I was in a serious rut that is for sure, but I had more balls than most of the men on this site, and took that chance to make something happen. Which I did, with absolutely no support or money. Please, take an example from me if you must. My life is pretty golden right now. It's not the peaks or even the valleys that define you, more the actions you take in life.


As far as the girl... I never defended her at all or even brought her up. You are jumping all around and tying things together that don't go together. I am not even defending BB, I am explaining and clarifying his last posts to those who seem to lack the comprehension of what he just said.

 

[iqqi]

Or perhaps it's just that no one is quite as vocal about their success. Love the guy, but I've never seen a "successful" person spend so much time talking about their success.

Normally, I'm just like "Ah, that's just BB being BB." but since you're saying that no one is on his level, I'm put in a position of defending the other guys.

I'm 31 with no kids, a degree, no debt, and a 6-figure salary. I grew up in a poor neighborhood in a house that consistently got burglarized...however, I don't see this as an essential part of the "Iceberg story," so I don't talk about it. I don't need every story I tell to include, "Yeah dudes, so I make a six-figure salary." And really, I don't hate that BB does. However, I dont think that talking about success is the only definition of success. It's almost insulting to think that it would be.

See, I'd agree with this philosophy if it weren't being used in an attempt to insult people here.

Some of the men here are truly on a journey of self improvement. Some are simply destined to be angry. But I'm not going to swoop down on a cloud of judgment, declaring myself and the SoSuave posters I respect as "my equals and betters". The people who I respect know that I respect them.....I dont need to insult the other guys to show that I respect the good guys.

No offense meant, I can tell you have success in your life because you give awesome advice, obviously have a level head, and you are so confident. You are in the minority here on this site, though, my friend. Also, BB has reached a level of success in more aspects than just his career. Obviously everyone has their own paths. I also consider Mr. Positive to be successful, and I don't think he is making 3 figures, I kind of picture him as a fireman sailor gypsy type.

BB's feelings stem from all of the men here who just talk sh!t about women, when they are not even doing anything about themselves as men. You say that many here are on a path of betterment, but I really don't see that. SOME are, and that is great. The site even helped me, a woman, with a lot of things.

But so many guys on here have a f#cked up mindset that allow themselves to just sit and rot and go nowhere but here to cluster with other mindfvcked men about everything that is set against them. It's obviously not everyone here, and my own postings aren't any rant against it. I think BB just hit a point where he couldn't take the BS and he just flew off the handle. I actually think it is good for some of the guys here to hear that blunt honesty and disgust.

I'm not saying BB is any kind of messiah here, lol. But he has it together in just about every way. He even admitted that there are areas he needs to improve in, and that this site is hindering that and he is disgusted by his own actions of sitting here like a messiah and gluttonously devouring praise and spouting his own accomplishments.

And whether you like it or not, some people really are above others, but I don't see it as a definitive quality. I am better and above myself three years ago. BB is better and above himself when he was a junkie. I am definitely above and better than a lot of sh!t I witness on a daily basis, and I hope to even be better and more above myself in coming years as I grow and gain more wisdom. No need for any PC crap here, just putting it out there.

The main point is that if you are one of the men here who finds yourself b!tching and stewing about the same sh!t involving anyone but yourself for months or years on end.... shut the fvck up and do something about yourself.

I concur with him on that one.

 

[Findog]

BB's feelings stem from all of the men here who just talk sh!t about women, when they are not even doing anything about themselves as men. You say that many here are on a path of betterment, but I really don't see that. SOME are, and that is great. The site even helped me, a woman, with a lot of things.

That's fine, but I don't even think that's the dynamic of what was taking place in this thread. That happens elsewhere on this site and in other threads, but it was a nuclear response to being on one side of an argument and instead of coming up with a better response to go "Well, you're all a bunch of tiny-d*cked losers failing at life." I mean, WTF? What does he know about me?

I mean, for what it's worth, I don't hate women, and I am definitely in favor of not adopting a victim mentality, being willing and able to take a personal inventory and own up to my responsibility for the role I've played in both my failures and successes, and not wallowing in self pity. I've had both good and bad experiences with women.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Many of you put too much emphasis on money as the end all be all. I have a lot of money and no debt at all yet I find it rather difficult to get women. Part of that is my lifestyle, part is being rather short and lithe (honestly I can't argue with women about this I'm essentially their size and I certainly wouldn't date a fatty - physical attraction is what it is), and part is game or lack thereof.

 

[disgustipated]

That's funny, I think I been around this forum for around 2 years now and I NEVER got the whiny complaining vibe from many men here. Leave it to the woman to percieve it that way, on which is largely a men's improvement site....to me. More shaking.

As for BB, I dig his anecdotes big time. I have no problem with him remaining friends with this bird or breaking bread with the new guy. My thing is, the ex doesn't need to be vilified or insulted in any way. The dude lost ( well, he actually won..doesn't know it yet). Why kick the guy when he's down especially when most of us and BB have been that guy. You don't gotta throw him a pity party either, don't call him an ambitionless fuvk when u really have no vested interest in doing so. It strikes me as a bit vindictive to break bread with this chick and her new guy AND raking this guy over the coals. If I was this guy and I found out someone had actively held info like this from me and dressing me down, there would be problems if we bumped into one another.

Some simple **** I learned very early on is u don't clown a dude on some **** u shouldn't be involved in the first place.

And this dude was lucky this girl left him sooner than later. No sympathy from me cuz he got the better end of it.

 

[cordoncordon]

I'm not saying BB is any kind of messiah here, lol. But he has it together in just about every way. He even admitted that there are areas he needs to improve in, and that this site is hindering that and he is disgusted by his own actions of sitting here like a messiah and gluttonously devouring praise and spouting his own accomplishments.

And whether you like it or not, some people really are above others, but I don't see it as a definitive quality. I am better and above myself three years ago. BB is better and above himself when he was a junkie. I am definitely above and better than a lot of sh!t I witness on a daily basis, and I hope to even be better and more above myself in coming years as I grow and gain more wisdom. No need for any PC crap here, just putting it out there.

The main point is that if you are one of the men here who finds yourself b!tching and stewing about the same sh!t involving anyone but yourself for months or years on end.... shut the fvck up and do something about yourself.

I concur with him on that one.

It sounds like you should find him and have all kinds of wonderful babies together.

I'm going to say this and it may seem I am coming down on BB, but bear in mind I like the guy and want him to stick around. Anyway...Im sorry but if he really had his sh!t together and was above everyone here, he would not leave this place in a huff once a year for like 8 straight years now! LMAO! You think that is something a 100% sane, rationale, together guy does? I don't. He is overly sensitive and if he doesn't get his way at times he takes his ball and goes home. Which tells me he at times is here more for the idolization rather than truly helping guys out. I think he starts out doing that, but then as his fan club grows he gets more and more into it. Then someone disagrees with him and he goes bye bye again.

I can tell you that from my perspective, he is not a very happy guy a lot of times. I don't know why, but I always get that from his posts. It's like he always needs to prove himself and seek validation from people.

Anyway, you do this about once a year too haha. Find a thread with some drama, appear out of nowhere, and take the opposite side of the majority and have at it. Doesn't really matter what the topic is, you will just go the opposite way just to get your jollies. It's who you are.

 

[betheman]

I think BB is not mad that people disagreed with him. He is frustrated that they are all just as complacent as Mr. Ruby Tuesday shift manager, who by the way probably is making closer to $40,000 a year not $70,000. He is just a floor manager, which is nothing. The waiters probably make more than he does.

He is frustrated at all the thumb twiddlers on her who complain about women who aren't better than they think women should be, but don't do sh!t as a man to better themselves. He also made a realization in that frustration about himself, which he communicated here, pretty harshly but honestly.

He's on a Pook/Fingz level in real life with his achievements, and while it feels good to come here and try to provide some insight to people who aren't there yet (and quite frankly will never be), the back patting and idolization has helped him become stagnant in his own goals. No one here is really in his league, no one here is exactly his peer.

It's one thing to help another man up, and another thing to just hang out at those lower levels all of the time. You absorb from the mentality around you.

One of my favorite quotes: "Travel only with thy equals or thy betters; if there are none, travel alone." - The Dhammapada

What a load of Bull!

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Awww man, Backbreaker spitting some good game as usual.

I'd like to add one thing.

You control your life!!!!

Don't blame a girl because she left you. Don't claim she is a bpd or a cheater. Don't blame the world because you can't get a job. Don't blame anyone because your car breaks down. Don't blame your teacher for failing the test. Don't blame your parents for your mishap.

It's your fault!!! Nobodies fault but yourselves. You could drive a Porsche if you wanted too. You can own a condo if you wanted too. You can have a dime piece broad on your arms. You control your life!! Make sure you make wise decisions. Make sure to always upgrade yourselves.

Never be complacent. Life can always be better.

 

[hithard]

BB first post is a great sum up of the dangers of being complacent. As a man, having goals no matter how small stops us drifting into the humdrum of routine. Breaking down BB's post is in reality a wealth of information for anyone's relationship / or for stealing another guys girl (not that I recommend it).
And it’s as simple as break routine. As a guy finding the quickest, easiest and most productive way of doing things can sometimes spill over into all areas of my life. Doing this while you have no forward propulsion in improving yourself often leads to a rut like existence, which is ok for short stints. But don't wallow in there for years as it's a waste of life.
Guys tend to think
-if I'm loyal
-pay the bills
-work hard
That this should be enough to keep a woman interested (if you were going out with another guy it probably would be). But the fact is it isn't enough no matter how much we might biatch and moan about it. Women are emotion junkies. Reliability don't cut it

So not only do we need to have goals for ourselves we should also bring our partners along for the ride when possible (in areas that they have a common interest) to cement those feelings of moving ahead and making progress to us. So long as you are breaking up the monotony of the relationship by doing something new breaks up the ditz factor when they start a new job, hobby, lifestyle.

the girl, worked at the horse track with my wife but she like my wife gave it up, it's hard work and it's demanding work and it's not meant for women over the age of 25. she just gave it up a few months ago and she got this job as a receptionist at this office, and she has become, and without the guys Knowles she has become very crazy about a guy who works there at her office. i don't even know what the fvck he does but from what i understand he is good but not great looking, but he is very cool and from what i understand, makes very good money. drives a beamer, dresses like an adult is supposed to dress, carries himself like a man who is going somewhere.

Right there in bold is where it ended for him. She got a new job which stirs all those emotions of excitement, which if have been dormant for too long because you are a rutaholic gets amplified. If a woman moves ahead they are more susceptible to advances from men as it's out with the old in with the new mentality and it's the best time to strike from a guy’s point of view. The BF is simply put into the old life file as someone new and exciting comes along.
I don't give a fluck what the waiter guy makes, whether what she did was right or wrong- just that this is why the majority of breakups happen and guys are often clueless as to what happened.


This

he confronts her and he is crying about how you could do this to me i thought you loved me. she doesn't even blink and tells him she doesn't want to date him anymore and tells him that she will have her stuff out of his place by the end of the week.

Hits guys hard and they wonder why the chick isn't even shedding a tear. Mainly because it was over as soon as she hit her new lifestyle and left you behind.
As soon as something breaks the routine anyone's relationship can go through that danger period. It's something you should be aware of whenever your partner makes a lifestyle shift. On the flip side it's the best time to strike at that good looking taken girl who has just taking up a class in whatever as imo your chances are double in the first few weeks. Breaking routine and making her feel like she is moving forward is an easy way to the lay.