Originally Posted by Pook
Yes. Some people may wince when they hear a guy say he wants a 'model' or some other high quality trait. AIM HIGH! Those girls are out there. If you don't think it is possible, it will never be possible. The point is to get what YOU want. SHE has to do all the work or she gets kicked out of romance kingdom. It's your world now.
Sounds cool? Get used to it, Don Juan.
"One hundred percent of the shots you don't take don't go in"
-Wayne Gretzky
Look man, you can let fear rule your life - but you are dooming yourself to mediocracy. Why should her lower his standards? First off, he is good looking enough to get a girl, so that excuse is out the window. I can't sit here and rebutt every single excuse, because you can rationalize all day long why he can't get a chick. He should be focusing instead on why he can get a chick. If he truly had the confidence that is so important, then he wouldn't be making a post like this. What is affecting his success is his own limiting belief.
Not to talk about you like you're not here, NoMoreAFC. You cannot give up now. The most successful people in the history of the world failed miserably before they succeeded. It was their refusal to accept failure as an option that distinguished them as great from the mediocre. Even a man who falls short of his greatest and most grandiose dreams will get great satisfaction knowing that her persisted where others would have accepted failure, and made it further than luck alone could have brought him. You must always dream big, and treat your ideas as if they were certanties. You must live the life you want, not the one you feel forced into because you are afraid to even try.
Your obssession with looks is unhealthy, and lacks perspective. Human beings are very complex. Some are smart, and some aren't. Some like dark hair, others like blondes. Some girls are shallow, others aren't. I've found that most girls are not shallow. They may have higher expectations if they have been approached a lot, but their expectations reach far beyond good looks. The fact of the matter is that beauty is much more common than sincerity, confidence, and the kind of determinism and passion that just oozes from the kind of men that tend to be the most successful. Girls would rather have an intelligent, funny, sensitive (at the appropriate times), passionate and driven man than one who is merely good looking.
The day I decided that I was going to day all chicks was the day my life changed. I told myself that, in order to get chicks that are 'out of my league', I have to first put myself in their league. Doing so destroyed my concept of leagues. If a beauty is removed as a qualifier (you need more than looks), then there are no leagues. I learned to value myself so much that I felt I deserved any girl around. Any why not? I'm an amazing guy. All of a sudden I was chatting up the hottest of the hot, and my friends were confused. Some even got angry that I was being "unrealistic" and "playing with fire." Well, ladies and gentleman, I am not afraid to play with fire. It's the only way to feel warmth.
My life began to change as I began to value myself. If I tell myself I deserve any girl, I have to be convinced of it. That means that I am living life to my full potential, maximizing my talents and indulging in my passions. I set lofty goals for myself, and developed a game plan to achieve them. I started to invest in myself by working out, learning to do things I've wanted to do all my life, and exploring new interests in all different areas. I truly became a better person because I set my standards higher.
You are worthy of any girl you come across. Youth is fleeting, and looks fade. Only a strong personality survives the trial of time, and nothing other than feeling that you have done everything you can to achieve your greatest dreams will lead to happiness. If you know what you want, and believe it's attainable, then you will get it.
I will make a wager that if he truly increased his standards, then he will feel better. As one poster so eloquently put it, you have to have a high opinion of yourself to have high standards. So stop whining and start improving, finding motivation anywhere to start (and landing the girl of your dreams is a good place to start).
Average lookig guys will have no problem finding above-average looking girls who will absolutely admire them for their manliness, confidence, and unadulterated sexuality.
So, just like history's greatest, you will keep trying. You have little to risk by asking a girl out. The worst that can happen is that she says yes, and likes you too much and you can't get rid of her. Or you fall in love, and she dies tragically. Seriously, that is much worse than her saying no. Rejection isn't that bad - and it's fleeting. If you don't dwell on it, then it's over. So who cares if get rejected a thousand times, if you keep changing your approach and learn to get yes's eventually, then you've won. Don't get frustrated, don't become desperate, and never settle for less than what you know you can have.
While the rest of the world lives in quiet desperation, you can be the one to throw off the shackles of social programming and become whatever you want to be
in direct oppostion to the majority of the information and advice you will encounter. When you refuse to aknowledge that which is artificial, then it will cease to exist. Such is the case with 'leagues', as we are all human beings. Beauty is subjective, and so is the social status that it brings. When you approach a girl who is more attractive than you believe yourself to be, and you treat her like any other girl, you are subconsciously communicating to her that you are 'in her league'. Beautiful women really are no different than anyone else, and the more you see that, the better you will do with them - period.
Originally posted by MicCheck1-2
Life ain't fair. You can't pull chicks that's tough. No one said EVERYONE will get chicks.
The ones who don't are the ones who don't try... if 99% of girls would reject you, and you ask 100, then you've found somebody. Persistance is key. No one said everyone will get anything, but there's a consistent patter that the people who decide to get what they want do.
Originally posted by JonJack
What's with this talk of raising standards? You guys spewing this crap want this guy to sink deeper into his depressive state or do you seriously believe that it will help him overcome his problems? You want to know what type of people are suicidal? The ones that have unrealistic dreams or delusions of grandeur which obviously will not materialise.
Up his standards? Puh-lease! Are you guys willing to back that advice with a wager? I bet that if he would to up his standards, he will feel worse.
Actually, JonJack, people who are suicidal have no delusions of grandeur. They have delusions of failure. They moan "Nobody loves me!", "My life is worthless... nobody would notice if I disappeared off the face of this Earth." I've never heard of a suicide note saying "I am an amazing great person, and I will achieve the highest possible endeavors of this world. I will become more powerful than any man in history, and discover the key to eternal happiness." It's not high standards that drives people to suicide. This kind of attitude encourages mediocracy, low enthusiasm and the feeling of powerlessness over one's own life that leads to depression and suicide.
He would feel great if he truly upped his standards. I'm telling you this from a very personal place: it feels great to deserve the best. The only one who decides what you deserve is you.
Remember, the greatest of the greats had the most people telling them that they were attempting the impossible, and they never let that stop them. They say that there's a thin line between genius and insanity, because both buck trends and conventions and behave unlike other people. That's what sets them apart from the unorgina hordes who will never accomplish anything.
So, yes, I say: raise your standards. If anyone tells you that you can't do it, fvck him. He is your enemy. If you say that you can't, you are your own worst enemy. It's time you threw off the doubt and told the nay sayers to shut the hell up. What do they know, anyway? None of the guys telling you to lower your standards have ever gotten a 9, or a girl 'out of their league'. I gaurantee it. So listen to those of us who have.