BackInTheGame78
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Cannot believe this nonsense is still bandied about in 2023.Use chat/text to set logistics only.
Do this if you want to get flaked on 90% of the time.
Cannot believe this nonsense is still bandied about in 2023.Use chat/text to set logistics only.
I'm a professional writer, I know how to chat, probably better than you do. But when you're still in the dating phase, chatting too much will dry up the desire to meet. Anything a woman wants to know apart from logistics she will learn on the date, not through text messaging.Doesn’t work in 2023. You better learn to text often or you’ll get ghosted fast. That’s outdated **** from 2008.
Never got flaked on setting logistics only. Must be an American problem.Cannot believe this nonsense is still bandied about in 2023.
Do this if you want to get flaked on 90% of the time.
I hear ya. Typically I'd take this advice.You may be seeking too deep of a connection too quickly. Less talking is probably better.
Where was the first date OP, and how did you meet her?I hear ya. Typically I'd take this advice.
In her case, she was mostly the one to reach out to me for the short time we've known each other. So I followed her lead (I wasn't going to ignore her)
If she reaches out to me (whether through call or text), what am I supposed to do? Ignore her? I chatted a lot with her because she kept reaching out to me.Too much chatting, chatting should be done in person, cellphones are for logistics only.
Pretty much she made plans, she invited you, she was the man, you didn't even suggested anyhting different, she held the frame of the interaction, maybe she was super interested in you, but, dinner is the most boring and unoriginal date there is, also it should be a reward for good behavior.
You should have done a fun date where drinks are involved, where you can touch her, tease her, play with her and escalate. How are you gonna escalate during dinner? touch her hand awkwardly while she's sitting on the other side? Giving her a kiss at the end of the night walking to her car?
She was just reflecting the lack of masculinity from your part onto you, bro. Too much talking, boring date, I'm assuming no escalation from your part, no putting you balls on the chopping block to try to kiss her, just more chatting.
Does this sound like a confident guy? You pretty much said, "Hey I'm sorry your highness for your emotions, but you getting annoyed is killing me inside, please forgive me for taking you on a dinner date, I shouldn't have done that, I should've known better that I'm out of your league"
No need, it continued like something like this: Hey, its not you, you're very nice, its just I'm going through $hit right now or my ex is stalking me, making my life a living hell, or my family is going through hard stuff, or I need to get my life in order, or I'm going through a hard stage in my life, but it was really nice meeting you, I'm not in a place of having a relationship right now, but we can still be friends.
The only way to combat texting for days is to set up the meeting after 2 days of getting her number. If you get the number Monday, by Tuesday you should be asking her to meet up with you on Wednesday or Thursday. That way you dint spend a whole week chatting over nothing.I'm a professional writer, I know how to chat, probably better than you do. But when you're still in the dating phase, chatting too much will dry up the desire to meet. Anything a woman wants to know apart from logistics she will learn on the date, not through text messaging.
I met her when her dog came up to me in public. I wasn't even looking for a date. Next thing I knew, we were going out to dinner.How did you meet her? What's her age?
Oh, so she drugged you and when you woke up, you were at a restaurant.I met her when her dog came up to me in public. I wasn't even looking for a date. Next thing I knew, we were going out to dinner.
She is in her mid to late 30s (for privacy, I don't want to say her exact age)
Uh, I didn't ask for a texting manual, but 'thanks', I guess.The only way to combat texting for days is to set up the meeting after 2 days of getting her number. If you get the number Monday, by Tuesday you should be asking her to meet up with you on Wednesday or Thursday. That way you dint spend a whole week chatting over nothing.
I believe OP posted SHE initiated the dinner date.you made it formal (dinner date) too soon, without having time to vet her.
That said and assuming it's what you meant, OP could have suggested something more casual instead. Like drinks at a pub with cool music or something. Sit at the bar next to each other where the opportunity for escalating like kissing and touching is easier (don't tell her that lol) . Maybe share some apps.On Monday, she even asked me about getting dinner again this coming weekend (I said yeah).
I didn’t ask for your resume earlier either but you gave it to me anyways. Being a professional writer dries up more women than texting too much does. But you’ll learn that eventually. Or not. I don’t care either way. Your attitude is your biggest problem.Uh, I didn't ask for a texting manual, but 'thanks', I guess.
She ended up telling me she's dealing with a lot of work-related stuff (and her being upset had nothing to do with me).Yeah she was annoyed but not for the reason you think. She was annoyed by your apparent lack of interest, lack of escalation and her doing all the heavy lifting. All the reaching out and initiating all the dates, including the dinner date.
This was the final nail in the coffin. Confirming her suspicion that you lack the masculine frame she desires and needs to remain interested and attracted or you don't give a crap.
It was an emotional reaction. Learn the difference between that and a reaction based on non-interest.
Sorry man.
I didn't flake on her. I told her I'm interested in getting dinner this coming weekend. I gave her a list of places (to make sure she likes all of my choices), then I told her I'd make a final decision on GameDay.If you go out with a woman you should know when it's over if you want to see her again. She gave you a few days of conversation to make plans and even tried to make them for you but, you for whatever reason, flaked on her and then acted weird.
If I go out with a woman and ask her out for another date anything other than a clear and definitive acceptance of my offer means they get nexted as there's no clearer sign of low interest.
Conflict isn't the end of the world, true. However, when you appear to no longer be getting along after less than a week of knowing each other, that's alarming (in a dating context at least)Why do people need to get a long? Conflict is not the end of the world
She had low interest this whole time. No high interest woman changes her mind about you that fast. The busy with work related stuff was an excuse, she was just too chicken**** to tell you she wasn’t interested in you as much as you were in her.She ended up telling me she's dealing with a lot of work-related stuff (and her being upset had nothing to do with me).
Then when I attempted to backpeddle (and propose we continue our pursual of each other), it was too late. She took me up on the initial offer to stop speaking.
Well-said. Being a beta male, I really get the short end of the stick.if the OP was a chad, she would have thought he was mysterious, silent and respectful. She would be creaming her pants.
If the OP was "masculine", she would have thought he was borish and self centered.
At the end of the day, women make excuses for people they do not want to date and overlook the faults of those they like. This is just another example.
This is close to a tactic that I have tried to use for years. However, I do not ask for a woman's number. I arrange a date first, then collect her number. I do not want a woman's number unless she's agreed to a specific date time and place arranged.The only way to combat texting for days is to set up the meeting after 2 days of getting her number. If you get the number Monday, by Tuesday you should be asking her to meet up with you on Wednesday or Thursday. That way you dint spend a whole week chatting over nothing.
I think you're misunderstanding. I'm pretty sure what he meant was, my apparent lack of interest would be viewed as silent/mysterious/respectful if I were a Chad. In other words, she would have overlooked my behavior if I were a Chad.Totally agree. OP was no chad, he made no effort, no escalation, requiring her to take the lead and chase. Then whimpered out at the end by saying, "maybe getting to know each other was a bad idea. I say this because it feels like we're not getting along as well today."
Come on man, no attractive self-respecting quality woman with abundance is gonna be attracted to that.