I attended a speed dating event today

[BaronOfHair]

I'd like to attend more.

Then do so. The only real barrier to you doing so is your insistence on making excuses for not making the proverbial plunge

 

[Travel memoir21]

You’re better off making conversations and being friendly with the starbucks baristas staff, being a regular laptop dude in the evening and talking to women on your breaks…than trying to fish at a speed dating event lol.

 

[SW15]

You’re better off making conversations and being friendly with the starbucks baristas staff, being a regular laptop dude in the evening and talking to women on your breaks…than trying to fish at a speed dating event lol.

For most men, that is true. There are men who would struggle to initiate approaches in an unstructured environment like a coffee shop, indoor retail venue, or a regular bar.

Almost all men are better off going to a regular bar night as compared to a structured singles event or a speed dating event. Women who go to structured singles events or speed dating events tend to be mediocre to subpar looking women who believe they are entitled to a top tier Chad and will reject men on their SMV level.

 

[GoodMan32]

Then do so. The only real barrier to you doing so is your insistence on making excuses for not making the proverbial plunge

Umm, even though I've mentioned on the forum before that I'm prone to panic attacks when making a move on a woman I already know, I wasn't even the slightest bit nervous at any point of the speed dating event.

Goes to show how serious I am when I say it's a lot easier for me to express interest in a woman I don't know.

I have no qualms about attending another one.

 

[GoodMan32]

You’re better off making conversations and being friendly with the starbucks baristas staff, being a regular laptop dude in the evening and talking to women on your breaks…than trying to fish at a speed dating event lol.



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Those alternate methods haven't gotten me far.

The most it's ever gotten me was some mild flirting with a pink-haired Starbucks employee back when I was 26-ish.

Since, unlike most men, a woman's interest level in me tends to plummet upon getting to know me, perhaps I'm one of the few men where speed dating is better.

 

[GoodMan32]

For most men, that is true. There are men who would struggle to initiate approaches in an unstructured environment like a coffee shop, indoor retail venue, or a regular bar.

Almost all men are better off going to a regular bar night as compared to a structured singles event or a speed dating event. Women who go to structured singles events or speed dating events tend to be mediocre to subpar looking women who believe they are entitled to a top tier Chad and will reject men on their SMV level.

You're damn right there are some men who would struggle to initiate approaches in an unstructured environment.

Everyone's different in terms of what works best.

For example, those from dysfunctional homes tend to thrive in the military (because deep down, they crave some structure in their lives). I, on the other hand, despite the fact I do better in structured singles events, could never do the military.

 

[GoodMan32]

There were some recent posts on this thread about how the autism spectrum is (as the name suggests) a spectrum (with various autists falling along the spectrum to various degrees)

I have something to add.

There's a man in my office building who's clearly on the spectrum to a much more severe degree than me. Additionally, he's fat, bald, and old (I'd estimate 48-55)

Yet he has a loving wife.

I, on the other hand, have above average looks (and only a mild case of ASD), yet haven't had free sex in 3 and a half years.

What gives?

 

[Travel memoir21]

Those alternate methods haven't gotten me far.

The most it's ever gotten me was some mild flirting with a pink-haired Starbucks employee back when I was 26-ish.

Since, unlike most men, a woman's interest level in me tends to plummet upon getting to know me, perhaps I'm one of the few men where speed dating is better.

Thats because you’ve only been there once…not consistently, .look just bring your laptop and actually be busy with it…when your there, talk to everyone and talk to the strangers at your nearest table. Compliment something you like about them and build ‘social momentum’.

Social momentum is important, it’s like warming up and stretching before a workout takes place.

Dress up too. I suggest you wear a Brown blazer so it looks like you’re not trying too hard but actually dressed cool. Wear your favorite rock n roll band t shirt underneath or something funny/ smart aleck quote and denim pants.

 

[Travel memoir21]

There were some recent posts on this thread about how the autism spectrum is (as the name suggests) a spectrum (with various autists falling along the spectrum to various degrees)

I have something to add.

There's a man in my office building who's clearly on the spectrum to a much more severe degree than me. Additionally, he's fat, bald, and old (I'd estimate 48-55)

Yet he has a loving wife.

I, on the other hand, have above average looks (and only a mild case of ASD), yet haven't had free sex in 3 and a half years.

What gives?

Thats called great karma. Maybe he’s a good guy who donated to charity and unselfishly prays and meditates daily.

 

[Gamisch]

There were some recent posts on this thread about how the autism spectrum is (as the name suggests) a spectrum (with various autists falling along the spectrum to various degrees)

I have something to add.

There's a man in my office building who's clearly on the spectrum to a much more severe degree than me. Additionally, he's fat, bald, and old (I'd estimate 48-55)

Yet he has a loving wife.

I, on the other hand, have above average looks (and only a mild case of ASD), yet haven't had free sex in 3 and a half years.

What gives?

You think you are better than him while simultaneously feeling worse than him...

I understand your frustration . But it ALWAYS boils down to THE MIRROR.

If you are so much better looking than him, you should be able to use that "fact" as leverage ti be more confident. But as you see , it does absolutely nothing for you.

Do you know his wife? Are you willing to wife up ab hb4 with excessive weight?

I keep saying that nowadays a man can easily be "ok /good-looking " and still go on a year's long dryspell of he doesn't find a way to break that circle.

Life happens in your own mind.

 

[GoodMan32]

You think you are better than him while simultaneously feeling worse than him...

I understand your frustration . But it ALWAYS boils down to THE MIRROR.

If you are so much better looking than him, you should be able to use that "fact" as leverage ti be more confident. But as you see , it does absolutely nothing for you.

Do you know his wife? Are you willing to wife up ab hb4 with excessive weight?

I keep saying that nowadays a man can easily be "ok /good-looking " and still go on a year's long dryspell of he doesn't find a way to break that circle.

Life happens in your own mind.

Being an autist myself, I try not to use the word "worse" to describe another autist (because I have sympathy for my fellow autist men)

I get your point though. The whole package, on the surface, appears to be better for me.

I've been known to brag about my good looks...but it's all a facade. Deep down, I have low self-esteem.

I don't know that man's wife personally. I only see her when she picks him up at the end of the day. Her looks are nothing to write home about (and no, I wouldn't be willing to get with a woman with her looks)

That being said, I shouldn't have to dip as low as he did to find a woman (because I have better looks and a milder case of ASD)

 

[GoodMan32]

I attended another event this weekend. This one went better. There was no door-slamming.

I handed out my cards to (I would estimate) a majority of the broads there.

Have any broads contacted me? Not yet.

Do I understand there's a high chance none of these broads will contact me? Absolutely.

That being said, I'd still call the event a success. I did everything in my power to make sure they have my contact information (a stark contrast from the last event, where I never had a chance to give anyone my contact information)

If no one contacts me, oh well. That means they were low interest anyway (and it's been said on this forum that we should accept when a broad is low interest, rather than trying to force her into becoming high interest)

 

[Lean Baby Face]

Being an autist myself, I try not to use the word "worse" to describe another autist (because I have sympathy for my fellow autist men)

I get your point though. The whole package, on the surface, appears to be better for me.

I've been known to brag about my good looks...but it's all a facade. Deep down, I have low self-esteem.

I don't know that man's wife personally. I only see her when she picks him up at the end of the day. Her looks are nothing to write home about (and no, I wouldn't be willing to get with a woman with her looks)

That being said, I shouldn't have to dip as low as he did to find a woman (because I have better looks and a milder case of ASD)

Without knowing anything about your background, job, social circle, attitude around women, body count, etc., are you sure that you're actually an autist?

The majority of autists that I've known are either on disability benefits, unemployed (or work under special contracts), virgins, got little to zero social or practical skills, and are most often gaming all day. You don't seem anything like this.

I know that "mild autism" or HFA are terms used by many. I personally do not believe in those terms. In fact, being a diet and health enthusiast myself, I even believe autism to be metabolic disorder rather than a neurological one, and that its traits are actually reversable. It's a controversial topic though, so I'd prefer not discussing the topic any further than this.

 

[GoodMan32]

Without knowing anything about your background, job, social circle, attitude around women, body count, etc., are you sure that you're actually an autist?

The majority of autists that I've known are either on disability benefits, unemployed (or work under special contracts), virgins, got little to zero social or practical skills, and are most often gaming all day. You don't seem anything like this.

I know that "mild autism" or HFA are terms used by many. I personally do not believe in those terms. In fact, being a diet and health enthusiast myself, I even believe autism to be metabolic disorder rather than a neurological one, and that its traits are actually reversable. It's a controversial topic though, so I'd prefer not discussing the topic any further than this.

I'm going to fill in some blanks for you. My body count, if we only count free partners, is 9 (As impressive as that sounds, it's somewhat misleading, as 6 of those partners are from 2012 alone. I haven't had free sex at all since April 2021)

Social circle, I don't have much of a social life. There is, off the top of my head, one person I might describe as a friend. But I hardly ever see him (he moved to a different part of my state).

For the most part, everyone else I'm chummy with is what I'd call a situational relationship (neighbors who only associate with me because we live in the same building, coworkers who only associate with me because we work together, etc)

Then there are a small amount of former coworkers I talk to...but we never meet up.

To address the job thing, despite having a college degree, I work in an entry-level job that doesn't require a degree. One thing that's common with high-functioning autists is to be under-employed (because even if we have a high IQ, we often have other qualities that make it difficult to navigate the workforce)

I'm not a gamer...but I spend a lot of time online (which is also a common trait for autists)

As a closing comment, I'm going to mention I was first told I'm an autist by a psychiatrist in 2003 (in the era before every Tom, D1ck, and Harry was told they have ASD...in other words, I trust what the psychiatrist said)

 

[GoodMan32]

Earlier in the thread, I had mentioned that on the Monday after the 1st speed dating event, I did some light flirting with a woman who worked in my condo building (@corrector then hypothesized that the practice I got from attending a speed dating event gave me the confidence to do the flirt)

I have an update on the topic of developing the confidence to flirt more.

Today at the Cafe in my office building, a female Cafe employee (busty Latina; I'd estimate early 20s...and even if she's older than early 20s, I'd say the odds are close to 100% she's below 30) asked me if I dyed my hair.

I told her no. I then elaborated that I put more gel in my hair than usual today (so it might look darker). Next, she said my hair looks good. I then told her she looks good too.

If it weren't for the practice of attending 2 recent speed dating events, I might have not had the confidence to escalate like that with the Cafe girl (as mild as the escalation was)

 

[Clockwerk50]

Earlier in the thread, I had mentioned that on the Monday after the 1st speed dating event, I did some light flirting with a woman who worked in my condo building (@corrector then hypothesized that the practice I got from attending a speed dating event gave me the confidence to do the flirt)

I have an update on the topic of developing the confidence to flirt more.

Today at the Cafe in my office building, a female Cafe employee (busty Latina; I'd estimate early 20s...and even if she's older than early 20s, I'd say the odds are close to 100% she's below 30) asked me if I dyed my hair.

I told her no. I then elaborated that I put more gel in my hair than usual today (so it might look darker). Next, she said my hair looks good. I then told her she looks good too.

If it weren't for the practice of attending 2 recent speed dating events, I might have not had the confidence to escalate like that with the Cafe girl (as mild as the escalation was)

As I mentioned in the linked posts below on one of your threads, you'll need a combination of theory and trial and error to succeed in these scenarios.

YouTuber does 100 ask outs to overcome fear of rejection

"Feminism"(Whatever the hell THAT word means anymore)has played a role in the less than complimentary way men, as a class, are viewed, in the same way organized religion has played a role in creating stigmas around homosexuals, this is true The only way such prejudices are reduced*... A large...

www.sosuave.net

YouTuber does 100 ask outs to overcome fear of rejection

You're right that we're prone to being too direct too early. Unfortunately (which you touched upon), we're also prone to overcorrecting in the opposite direction. I myself was too direct in my younger days, then ended up becoming the type of overcorrecter I just mentioned as I've gotten older...

www.sosuave.net

 

[GoodMan32]

As I mentioned in the linked posts below on one of your threads, you'll need a combination of theory and trial and error to succeed in these scenarios.

YouTuber does 100 ask outs to overcome fear of rejection

"Feminism"(Whatever the hell THAT word means anymore)has played a role in the less than complimentary way men, as a class, are viewed, in the same way organized religion has played a role in creating stigmas around homosexuals, this is true The only way such prejudices are reduced*... A large...

www.sosuave.net

YouTuber does 100 ask outs to overcome fear of rejection

You're right that we're prone to being too direct too early. Unfortunately (which you touched upon), we're also prone to overcorrecting in the opposite direction. I myself was too direct in my younger days, then ended up becoming the type of overcorrecter I just mentioned as I've gotten older...

www.sosuave.net

I recall your posts.

Your posts are more optimistic than the flowchart @SW15 posted this weekend (the flowchart told me to essentially throw in the towel when it comes to getting a woman)