I attended a speed dating event today

[BaronOfHair]

I'd like to attend more.

Then do so. The only real barrier to you doing so is your insistence on making excuses for not making the proverbial plunge

 

[Travel memoir21]

You’re better off making conversations and being friendly with the starbucks baristas staff, being a regular laptop dude in the evening and talking to women on your breaks…than trying to fish at a speed dating event lol.

 

[SW15]

You’re better off making conversations and being friendly with the starbucks baristas staff, being a regular laptop dude in the evening and talking to women on your breaks…than trying to fish at a speed dating event lol.

For most men, that is true. There are men who would struggle to initiate approaches in an unstructured environment like a coffee shop, indoor retail venue, or a regular bar.

Almost all men are better off going to a regular bar night as compared to a structured singles event or a speed dating event. Women who go to structured singles events or speed dating events tend to be mediocre to subpar looking women who believe they are entitled to a top tier Chad and will reject men on their SMV level.

 

[GoodMan32]

Then do so. The only real barrier to you doing so is your insistence on making excuses for not making the proverbial plunge

Umm, even though I've mentioned on the forum before that I'm prone to panic attacks when making a move on a woman I already know, I wasn't even the slightest bit nervous at any point of the speed dating event.

Goes to show how serious I am when I say it's a lot easier for me to express interest in a woman I don't know.

I have no qualms about attending another one.

 

[GoodMan32]

You’re better off making conversations and being friendly with the starbucks baristas staff, being a regular laptop dude in the evening and talking to women on your breaks…than trying to fish at a speed dating event lol.



View attachment 13369

Those alternate methods haven't gotten me far.

The most it's ever gotten me was some mild flirting with a pink-haired Starbucks employee back when I was 26-ish.

Since, unlike most men, a woman's interest level in me tends to plummet upon getting to know me, perhaps I'm one of the few men where speed dating is better.

 

[GoodMan32]

For most men, that is true. There are men who would struggle to initiate approaches in an unstructured environment like a coffee shop, indoor retail venue, or a regular bar.

Almost all men are better off going to a regular bar night as compared to a structured singles event or a speed dating event. Women who go to structured singles events or speed dating events tend to be mediocre to subpar looking women who believe they are entitled to a top tier Chad and will reject men on their SMV level.

You're damn right there are some men who would struggle to initiate approaches in an unstructured environment.

Everyone's different in terms of what works best.

For example, those from dysfunctional homes tend to thrive in the military (because deep down, they crave some structure in their lives). I, on the other hand, despite the fact I do better in structured singles events, could never do the military.

 

[GoodMan32]

There were some recent posts on this thread about how the autism spectrum is (as the name suggests) a spectrum (with various autists falling along the spectrum to various degrees)

I have something to add.

There's a man in my office building who's clearly on the spectrum to a much more severe degree than me. Additionally, he's fat, bald, and old (I'd estimate 48-55)

Yet he has a loving wife.

I, on the other hand, have above average looks (and only a mild case of ASD), yet haven't had free sex in 3 and a half years.

What gives?

 

[Travel memoir21]

Those alternate methods haven't gotten me far.

The most it's ever gotten me was some mild flirting with a pink-haired Starbucks employee back when I was 26-ish.

Since, unlike most men, a woman's interest level in me tends to plummet upon getting to know me, perhaps I'm one of the few men where speed dating is better.

Thats because you’ve only been there once…not consistently, .look just bring your laptop and actually be busy with it…when your there, talk to everyone and talk to the strangers at your nearest table. Compliment something you like about them and build ‘social momentum’.

Social momentum is important, it’s like warming up and stretching before a workout takes place.

Dress up too. I suggest you wear a Brown blazer so it looks like you’re not trying too hard but actually dressed cool. Wear your favorite rock n roll band t shirt underneath or something funny/ smart aleck quote and denim pants.

 

[Travel memoir21]

There were some recent posts on this thread about how the autism spectrum is (as the name suggests) a spectrum (with various autists falling along the spectrum to various degrees)

I have something to add.

There's a man in my office building who's clearly on the spectrum to a much more severe degree than me. Additionally, he's fat, bald, and old (I'd estimate 48-55)

Yet he has a loving wife.

I, on the other hand, have above average looks (and only a mild case of ASD), yet haven't had free sex in 3 and a half years.

What gives?

Thats called great karma. Maybe he’s a good guy who donated to charity and unselfishly prays and meditates daily.

 

[Gamisch]

There were some recent posts on this thread about how the autism spectrum is (as the name suggests) a spectrum (with various autists falling along the spectrum to various degrees)

I have something to add.

There's a man in my office building who's clearly on the spectrum to a much more severe degree than me. Additionally, he's fat, bald, and old (I'd estimate 48-55)

Yet he has a loving wife.

I, on the other hand, have above average looks (and only a mild case of ASD), yet haven't had free sex in 3 and a half years.

What gives?

You think you are better than him while simultaneously feeling worse than him...

I understand your frustration . But it ALWAYS boils down to THE MIRROR.

If you are so much better looking than him, you should be able to use that "fact" as leverage ti be more confident. But as you see , it does absolutely nothing for you.

Do you know his wife? Are you willing to wife up ab hb4 with excessive weight?

I keep saying that nowadays a man can easily be "ok /good-looking " and still go on a year's long dryspell of he doesn't find a way to break that circle.

Life happens in your own mind.

 

[GoodMan32]

You think you are better than him while simultaneously feeling worse than him...

I understand your frustration . But it ALWAYS boils down to THE MIRROR.

If you are so much better looking than him, you should be able to use that "fact" as leverage ti be more confident. But as you see , it does absolutely nothing for you.

Do you know his wife? Are you willing to wife up ab hb4 with excessive weight?

I keep saying that nowadays a man can easily be "ok /good-looking " and still go on a year's long dryspell of he doesn't find a way to break that circle.

Life happens in your own mind.

Being an autist myself, I try not to use the word "worse" to describe another autist (because I have sympathy for my fellow autist men)

I get your point though. The whole package, on the surface, appears to be better for me.

I've been known to brag about my good looks...but it's all a facade. Deep down, I have low self-esteem.

I don't know that man's wife personally. I only see her when she picks him up at the end of the day. Her looks are nothing to write home about (and no, I wouldn't be willing to get with a woman with her looks)

That being said, I shouldn't have to dip as low as he did to find a woman (because I have better looks and a milder case of ASD)