I’m in deep

[Divorced w 3]

I’m thinking that on my car ride back from the gym (she’s here) I am going to say that we started over on new years. Everything is good but we need to reexamine our exclusivity in this relationship. I’ll do that after my workout not before. Maybe tonight.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I’m thinking that on my car ride back from the gym (she’s here) I am going to say that we started over on new years. Everything is good but we need to reexamine our exclusivity in this relationship. I’ll do that after my workout not before. Maybe tonight.

Why bother with all that shiat if you want to suggest she hasnt to be exclusive?

And i thought THAT was the problem, her having way to much freedom and now you give her a free pass to fvck around as she likes?

Just dump her before you end up as cuck.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Why bother with all that shiat if you want to suggest she hasnt to be exclusive?

And i thought THAT was the problem, her having way to much freedom and now you give her a free pass to fvck around as she likes?

Just dump her before you end up as cuck.

Here’s what I’m going to do… great video

two questions:
Let me see a certain text chain on the phone from the spring
Let me see the DM from the guy out west that was supposedly innocuous

fails either of these it’s a dead silent “order an Uber, you’ll need it to take the box of your stuff”

keep you posted

 

[Divorced w 3]

The irony in this, she just sat down next to me while I was doing sit ups, and then when I got up had a disinfectant rag ready to go to clean my space up and threw her arm around mine walking out.

 

[Divorced w 3]

She’s ordering a framed photo for each of us from our trip in the fall. I swear more than one time she has read my mind. That’s not going to dissuade me if the above doesn’t pass, don’t worry.

 

[Divorced w 3]

That was ugly.

I did the following: (nicely)
I said let me see your text message from your colleague who you were going out with on that trip (who knew exactly who I was, and what I had done early for them, and who had grimaced in the summer at my gf’s actions)- the following was in the text from the trip “hey, so and so was cute” with a sexy wink, and then my gf goes “oh he’s cute but not my type” not great.

second, the DM from the ‘innocuous’ guy that there was never any history with was missing. We went down for literally years of DM’s that were in existence, that one is just mysteriously gone. I said okay, show me the one from the guy that you used to hook up with before we met that wished you a happy birthday, mysteriously that’s gone now too.

i get up, I walk in the kitchen for a second and I simply say, you have to go.

She turns on the water works and all the rationale about being in a relationship for the first time in forever etc and I’m simply like … you need to go. Please leave my keys.

 

[Stanley]

I’m thinking that on my car ride back from the gym (she’s here) I am going to say that we started over on new years. Everything is good but we need to reexamine our exclusivity in this relationship. I’ll do that after my workout not before. Maybe tonight.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

I wouldn't take away exclusivity from her directly. Probably better to naturally put some distance between you more subtlety if that is what you feel is needed. I have a question though, do you feel as though you lost 'frame' along the way? Are you not leading? etc..

Just be careful with the gurus and whatnot, you have the wherewithal to think things through on your end, I am certain.

I'm all for 'RedPill', but real life human interactions are nuanced and need tact.

That was ugly.

Does this mean you confronted her directly?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

I wouldn't take away exclusivity from her directly. Probably better to naturally put some distance between you more subtlety if that is what you feel is needed. I have a question though, do you feel as though you lost 'frame' along the way? Are you not leading? etc..

Just be careful with the gurus and whatnot, you have the wherewithal to think things through on your end, I am certain.

I'm all for 'RedPill', but real life human interactions are nuanced and need tact.



Does this mean you confronted her directly?

Yes

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That was ugly.

I did the following: (nicely)
I said let me see your text message from your colleague who you were going out with on that trip (who knew exactly who I was, and what I had done early for them, and who had grimaced in the summer at my gf’s actions)- the following was in the text from the trip “hey, so and so was cute” with a sexy wink, and then my gf goes “oh he’s cute but not my type” not great.

second, the DM from the ‘innocuous’ guy that there was never any history with was missing. We went down for literally years of DM’s that were in existence, that one is just mysteriously gone. I said okay, show me the one from the guy that you used to hook up with before we met that wished you a happy birthday, mysteriously that’s gone now too.

i get up, I walk in the kitchen for a second and I simply say, you have to go.

She turns on the water works and all the rationale about being in a relationship for the first time in forever etc and I’m simply like … you need to go. Please leave my keys.

Well, I'm glad you only wasted a few weeks with this than months or even years like some.

Once you have to resort to these type of things the relationship is over, at that point it's just how long do you plan on pointlessly dragging it out for.

Glad it wasn't long.

 

[Dr.Suave]

You know It was the right thing, Bro. Time to go NC. Stay strong brother.

I think most of us learned from this. Thank you for sharing

 

[Stanley]

That was ugly.

I did the following: (nicely)
I said let me see your text message from your colleague who you were going out with on that trip (who knew exactly who I was, and what I had done early for them, and who had grimaced in the summer at my gf’s actions)- the following was in the text from the trip “hey, so and so was cute” with a sexy wink, and then my gf goes “oh he’s cute but not my type” not great.

second, the DM from the ‘innocuous’ guy that there was never any history with was missing. We went down for literally years of DM’s that were in existence, that one is just mysteriously gone. I said okay, show me the one from the guy that you used to hook up with before we met that wished you a happy birthday, mysteriously that’s gone now too.

i get up, I walk in the kitchen for a second and I simply say, you have to go.

She turns on the water works and all the rationale about being in a relationship for the first time in forever etc and I’m simply like … you need to go. Please leave my keys.

Yeah whole thing is pretty sus.

For a committed long term relationship it would be hard to be comfortable with one another when a seed of doubt has been planted and it appears to have sprouted. If you acted as calmly as you did in your description here, then you handled the exchange well or in other words "held Frame". Understanding that you wanted something genuine with this girl makes it all the much harder, but ultimately you want to be with someone who you can trust wholeheartedly.

I try to remain optimistic when reading things like this, but given how much this has bugged you and the amount of doubt expressed, I think you probably made the right call. Stick yourself around people whose company you enjoy and be mindful of the allure of the bottle. Try your best to ignore the pleas to emotion with her crying and making justifications like being out of a relationship for a long time, there is a reason she was.. Give yourself space to process things.

Hang in there and do your best not to engage.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I asked this before, would you be able to delegate her to plate status?

If not, you have too much invested and need to walk away ASAP.

Right now I’m just out with my boys watching the national championship, flirting with the waitress who has the same name as my ex and I have a date planned next Monday with the girl I’ve been blowing off for 9 months

 

[Gamisch]

Right now I’m just out with my boys watching the national championship, flirting with the waitress who has the same name as my ex and I have a date planned next Monday with the girl I’ve been blowing off for 9 months

This thread is a CLASSIC.

I think probably every man will go through this at some point. There are way too many nuggets here. Just a few that I've noticed/ stood out

- rebounding is always ill advised. Because we tend to continue our (toxic detrimental ) ways with the next woman, in this case the codependency and clinging on another person. ( although I understand that its nice after a messy breakup, what goes UP must come DOWN )

- when you spend this much money you basically " buy" affection.

- to allude to the previous point, even though you spend a lot she STILL tries to do whatever she wants.

Women are ruthless. She's basically playing you ,BUT she lacks the...intelligence(for lack of a better word) to play it smart, hence the deleting of specific texts ect. But yo, if I'd been with a woman spending that much I would also keep her around...

I've reread the ENTIRE thread. You should definitely leave her. Enjoy the memories but ACCEPT this one is not gf / wifey marerial.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Nowadays with people not committing to one another as in “we’re monogamous” and not having the discussion can cause stuff like this.

I do not recall if the OP detailed where they were in their relationship when these things happened. Had they had the “we’re monogamous” discussion?

Nowadays if you don’t lock it down, there is always a chance your sexual partner is entertaining others, just like you do.

 

[The Duke]

@Divorced w 3 glad you saw the light. You will make better choices because of what you went thru.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yeah whole thing is pretty sus.

For a committed long term relationship it would be hard to be comfortable with one another when a seed of doubt has been planted and it appears to have sprouted. If you acted as calmly as you did in your description here, then you handled the exchange well or in other words "held Frame". Understanding that you wanted something genuine with this girl makes it all the much harder, but ultimately you want to be with someone who you can trust wholeheartedly.

I try to remain optimistic when reading things like this, but given how much this has bugged you and the amount of doubt expressed, I think you probably made the right call. Stick yourself around people whose company you enjoy and be mindful of the allure of the bottle. Try your best to ignore the pleas to emotion with her crying and making justifications like being out of a relationship for a long time, there is a reason she was.. Give yourself space to process things.

Hang in there and do your best not to engage.

I had a couple jitters initially but got calm quick, I had been working this out in my head for hours.

You know It was the right thing, Bro. Time to go NC. Stay strong brother.

I think most of us learned from this. Thank you for sharing

I wont say anything unless she absolutely blows me away. I don’t have anything in mind I guess if it’s going to happen I’ll just know it if I see it.

After she asked for exclusivity I drove every other major milestone in the relationship. It was very amateur on my end.

I have missed two calls yesterday and a text today that says “I love you and us I want to work through this together. can we talk later today?”

 

[member162951]

I have missed two calls yesterday and a text today that says “I love you and us I want to work through this together. can we talk later today?”

Just my take, but this is not over. Guys here are acting like it's done, patting you on the back, good job bro.

It's not done. And no judgment I promise you, but I think there's a part of you that enjoys this type of tension and turmoil.

As a highly intelligent person who scored high on Machiavellianism (admittedly), you need it, the mental stimulation otherwise you're bored and that's worse than death (metaphorically).

Just my sense from everything you're written. Not just on this thread.

I also think there's a part of you that needs her to fight for you which she's doing, hard.

If I'm wrong I apologize but no I don't think this is done, and again no judgment and wish you both luck.

 

[Dr.Suave]

@Divorced w 3 stay NC for at least a month. You need to process this and reflect on your own with a clear head and without her interference. Block her from everywhere.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Just my take, but this is not over. Guys here are acting like it's done, patting you on the back, good job bro.

It's not done. And no judgment I promise you, but I think there's a part of you that enjoys this type of tension and turmoil.

As a highly intelligent person who scored high on Machiavellianism (admittedly), you need it, the mental stimulation otherwise you're bored and that's worse than death (metaphorically).

Just my sense from everything you're written. Not just on this thread.

I also think there's a part of you that needs her to fight for you which she's doing, hard.

If I'm wrong I apologize but no I don't think this is done, and again no judgment and wish you both luck.

Agreed because it's an addiction and she is the drug right now.

At the end of the day OP will have to realize this is toxic and choose not to indulge in it anymore even tho he may want to.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Of course I want it to work out. But this is a bad situation, and I took this step with the seriously high likelihood that she wasn’t going to do anything in response that was going to change my mind. So far in life, the response on this has been universally positive. Sometimes when it’s right under your nose, you can’t see it.