I just reminded my girlfriend that she and I would have to discuss a prenuptial and it would need to include holding back alimony unless children were born, my rationale being that it she’s working and on her feet, why am I giving her a safety net. That went over like acid rain. It wasn’t always this way. Instead of mentioning this leading up, she played me and delayed by six weeks the rent due and changed her position on alimony, rent and expenses until the day her tenant would have been at a month from move in.
I think the prenuptial is a good litmus test. I think someone should always be true to themselves from the very beginning in a relationship including not hiding the way they like to live and they shouldn’t have to suppress their tastes for the things in life they enjoy.
I don’t live in a common law state and with her moving in a few months ago I started bringing important conversations forward more frequently out of not just self preservation with her losing access to her legal residence but also for her own decency as she was about to clock a year or more on the baby clock without a ring. Truthfully I think this was days or weeks in the making, she was withholding some other money, on mutual items and I wonder now if this is why.
If you know me, at all by now, you can guess how I reacted to the way she went about laying down her ultimatum. There is probably no coming back from what I said and the fire inside me as it related to how easily she could just toss on a dime her ability to even provide a graceful exit to my children.
She has until Saturday to get over here for the day and roll sleeves up and hammer this out - I said there is no basis to draw this out past the weekend with the living situation and her tenant waiting and too many important questions to not have answered.
Her response was that she was going to attend a party mid day for her friends daughter, so to everyone here who wants to say I told you so, I get it. This will never happen again.
I also may throw her entire closet in the dumpster. She has a ton of crap here. TBD.