I’m in deep

soulforge

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End this bro. This chick is not suitable for LTR. She can be fun. She can be sweet. She can be charismatic. She can be amazing in bed. She is still not compatible for LTR.

Men, when a chick values her social media popularity, she is for the streets. Sorry this happened, OP. This woman is not and will never be “wifey” material.
I double down on this... My last relationship ended, due to her addiction to social media.

Guys these chicks will CHIT ALL OVER the relationship for the sake of her addiction to attention online.

They are literally keeping there options open, while you are closing your options from your end, by going exclusive with her.
 

Divorced w 3

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Will never work. All that ell happen is she will go to greater lengths to hide it. Which is basically what OP says she is already doing.
Actually yeah she did. Recall I mentioned not long ago about her friend that acted like a complete jack off at her birthday. So I said basically look I don’t know how you could continue to let her speak and act like that - so then she has her brother lie a couple days ago about their being in contact and I mentioned that again this evening, like wtf you dragged another party let alone your brother to lie for you and he’s a terrible liar and I saw it?
 

Divorced w 3

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Yeah that doesn't make sense to me...this woman is basically a high end escort at this point without the high end escort looks or body most likely. No offense, OP.
She’s pretty. A lot of guys here would have been more than happy about it.
 

natureminded

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I can't really understand what is going on But I will warn you women and Instagram are a deadly combination and if your gut is saying something is wrong chances are something is wrong

Social media allows all kinds of treachery , at the click of a few buttons any guy on earth can have access to your woman and more worryingly her emotions

This is where you really really need to make sure your screening your women , there are girls out there who won't even consider entertaining another man but there are far more who happily will just for the thrill of it and if her freinds are hoes they will probably be encouraging it

Remember a woman doesn't need to have full blown intercourse to have an emotional bond with a man , some girls will entertain guys just because they make them feel good

When I am looking to take a girl seriously I will do deep investigative work on her profile , people can lie but photo captions , likes and comments rarely do
You are so right about this. My wife cheated on me with someone who she met via Instagram. I also once worked inside the belly of the beast @Facebook — all these products are so narcissistic and toxic. Nothing good is coming to humanity from these tools except hell upon people’s psyches and relationships. A good woman will shut down outside contact and not worry about nourishing an external image for her “fanbase”. Truly, *man or woman*, this is low class and will damage your closest intimate partnerships. Everything here is accurate, and a sad sorry state of affairs.
 

Divorced w 3

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She just called me from her Uber telling me she was on the way back from her parents. Sounded somber. I was like oh okay thanks for letting me know and I just left it silent. And she asked if the kids were in bed to which I responded that I was putting my daughter down a moment before she called. And she said okay I’ll let you go, to which I said okay goodnight ..
 
M

member162951

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Genesis "In Too Deep" posted earlier which you gave a :up:to.

Listen, you know I love you, but I just can't take this
You know I love you, but I'm playing for keeps
Although I need you, I'm not gonna make this
You know I want to, but I'm in too deep


The 64,000 question:

Are you 'in love' with her?

My response to all this depends on your answer.
 

Divorced w 3

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Genesis "In Too Deep" posted earlier which you gave a :up:to.

Listen, you know I love you, but I just can't take this
You know I love you, but I'm playing for keeps
Although I need you, I'm not gonna make this
You know I want to, but I'm in too deep


The 64,000 question:

Are you in love with her?

My response to all this depends on your answer.
I’m in love with @catsmeow2
 

natureminded

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I don’t know man, I could be speculating here. But I would say play it cool and keep giving some things some time. I would hold your requirements firm: you don’t want this ex being “buddy buddy”. I think if she wants to move forwards to a deeper connection, she’d have to be willing to let this go. Her social media accounts as well (or give you the passwords so you can see the DMs). Some women would make these concessions at the next “step” if they felt it was worth it. Maybe if you go a little cold and distant you can stoke that loss in her and maybe she’d be willing to make some of the changes you’re requesting.

I don’t think you’re wrong to feel very uncomfortable both about the ex’s continual contact, and the instagram groupies. I think those things are a threat to your connection with her -- and if it’s something that’s more serious than casual, she’ll have to make concessions eventually. Can’t have your cake and eat it too in this sense. I’m sure she might not be willing to accept the same treatment in return.

My vote is if you’re really interested and in love with her – give her some space and see if she’d be willing to make these concessions (and be clear about them). Curious what others think. Making a hoe a housewife is a fair observation, but some people will make changes if they really think it’s worth it. IMHO. The fact she’s still thinking of you, reaching out to you -- maybe you’d be worth some changes.

Last thought: some people do this stuff too as a backup plan since they’re afraid. They fear if they let go of those other things, then you’ll let them go too, and they‘ll free fall. In a way, it‘s a self protection mechanism which may be rooted in deeper fear of rejection. Maybe I’m getting too heady but was my final thoughts…
 

Divorced w 3

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I don’t know man, I could be speculating here. But I would say play it cool and keep giving some things some time. I would hold your requirements firm: you don’t want this ex being “buddy buddy”. I think if she wants to move forwards to a deeper connection, she’d have to be willing to let this go. Her social media accounts as well (or give you the passwords so you can see the DMs). Some women would make these concessions at the next “step” if they felt it was worth it. Maybe if you go a little cold and distant you can stoke that loss in her and maybe she’d be willing to make some of the changes you’re requesting.

I don’t think you’re wrong to feel very uncomfortable both about the ex’s continual contact, and the instagram groupies. I think those things are a threat to your connection with her -- and if it’s something that’s more serious than casual, she’ll have to make concessions eventually. Can’t have your cake and eat it too in this sense. I’m sure she might not be willing to accept the same treatment in return.

My vote is if you’re really interested and in love with her – give her some space and see if she’d be willing to make these concessions (and be clear about them). Curious what others think. Making a hoe a housewife is a fair observation, but some people will make changes if they really think it’s worth it. IMHO. The fact she’s still thinking of you, reaching out to you -- maybe you’d be worth some changes.

Last thought: some people do this stuff too as a backup plan since they’re afraid. They fear if they let go of those other things, then you’ll let them go too, and they‘ll free fall. In a way, it‘s a self protection mechanism which may be rooted in deeper fear of rejection. Maybe I’m getting too heady but was my final thoughts…
She offered to block that college buddy and delete her social media weeks ago. Also, those are some solid thoughts.
 

natureminded

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She offered to block that college buddy and delete her social media weeks ago. Also, those are some solid thoughts.
That’s a big deal IMHO if she actually sticks to that commitment. I’d make sure to hold her accountable on that and check in on it regularly. I’m not going to lie that in my next relationship I’m going to request an open phone policy. Look at my phone any time you want. That means I can see yours. No secret worlds hidden in layers…some might say this is controlling, but in this day and age I’m not so sure anymore.
 

Divorced w 3

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Well, she called again, I let it ring out this time.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Let me guess you let that slide? I would’ve said that’s your choice.

She offered to block that college buddy and delete her social media weeks ago. Also, those are some solid thoughts.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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I know how hard it is to do when you’re into a chick man. But I would’ve said “Not a bad idea”.

But we’re all being Monday morning quarterback’s here, it’s easy to make strident comments when you don’t know what all really passed in a relationship and are not in the relationship yourself.
 
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