I’m in deep

[member162951]

$100 to post her nudes. I know one of you jokers got them.

I got them, damn the girl is HOT!

 

[The Duke]

I had a chic one time that I really liked. She was on social media a lot. There were online orbiters after her all the time. I could never prove anything, but she kept entertaining it and allowing it. MY gut was telling me not to trust her and I am a guy that wants solid facts and would rather ignore what my gut says(emotions). I finally said something and she agreed to delete some of the guys that were after her. A few weeks later there was still one guy she didn't delete. She claimed he was in a serious relationship and was harmless, so I created a fake profile posing as a female and tried to flirt with the guy. It didn't take much and he took the bait. I had my answer then.

I told her again that it seems she still has issues with seeking attention/validation from other men. This time it didn't go over well. I pulled away, she did too. Eventually we ended it.

The moral of the story, never get serious with girls that need social media for attention/validation from other males. And you are fooling yourself if you think she will change her ways long term(deleting her side boyz). A solid chic isn't addicted to that crap in the first place. A solid chic will suffer in silence before she steps out to get her supply of attention/validation from someone else. I have put several to the test.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That’s a big deal IMHO if she actually sticks to that commitment. I’d make sure to hold her accountable on that and check in on it regularly. I’m not going to lie that in my next relationship I’m going to request an open phone policy. Look at my phone any time you want. That means I can see yours. No secret worlds hidden in layers…some might say this is controlling, but in this day and age I’m not so sure anymore.

If you have to do that much work why bother? I don't want a relationship where I have to constantly be on top of someone about not doing something.

Again, this is simply refusing to believe someone that tells you who they are and then trying to come up with nonsensical wys to mitigate it.

This is how you end up in drama filled situations constantly.

 

[The Duke]

If you have to do that much work why bother? I don't want a relationship where I have to constantly be on top of someone about not doing something.

Again, this is simply refusing to believe someone that tells you who they are and then trying to come up with nonsensical wys to mitigate it.

This is how you end up in drama filled situations constantly.

If there is one super important thing that I really struggled to accept, its what @BackInTheGame78 just said. This is so damn true. I always wanted to see the best in people instead of seeing who they really were. And it always becomes apparent later on.

 

[natureminded]

If you have to do that much work why bother? I don't want a relationship where I have to constantly be on top of someone about not doing something.

Again, this is simply refusing to believe someone that tells you who they are and then trying to come up with nonsensical wys to mitigate it.

This is how you end up in drama filled situations constantly.

That’s fair. Admittedly my friend, I haven’t been great about the red flags and give people often too much benefit of the doubt.

 

[soulforge]

You are so right about this. My wife cheated on me with someone who she met via Instagram. I also once worked inside the belly of the beast @Facebook — all these products are so narcissistic and toxic. Nothing good is coming to humanity from these tools except hell upon people’s psyches and relationships. A good woman will shut down outside contact and not worry about nourishing an external image for her “fanbase”. Truly, *man or woman*, this is low class and will damage your closest intimate partnerships. Everything here is accurate, and a sad sorry state of affairs.

This is exactly why I HARD NEXT social media addicted girls. These girls are a massive liability long term.

 

[soulforge]

If you have to do that much work why bother? I don't want a relationship where I have to constantly be on top of someone about not doing something.

Again, this is simply refusing to believe someone that tells you who they are and then trying to come up with nonsensical wys to mitigate it.

This is how you end up in drama filled situations constantly.

Trying to get a chick to change her ways, break her addiction for attention wh0ring is useless. You have to look at the deeper reason on why she is, the way she is.

Change should be something that comes internally. I learnt this the hard way.

 

[Bingo-Player]

You are so right about this. My wife cheated on me with someone who she met via Instagram. I also once worked inside the belly of the beast @Facebook — all these products are so narcissistic and toxic. Nothing good is coming to humanity from these tools except hell upon people’s psyches and relationships. A good woman will shut down outside contact and not worry about nourishing an external image for her “fanbase”. Truly, *man or woman*, this is low class and will damage your closest intimate partnerships. Everything here is accurate, and a sad sorry state of affairs.

I find it all quite interesting because social media has largely become an extension of ones self , but its a digitally curated image which people tend to highly gloss over

As the majority of peoples day to day lives are very dull and boring social media has provided the opportunity to at least fantasise about what life as a celebrity is like

and that thats what a lot of people are doing ( especially women ) they are imagining themselves as minor celebrities within their social circles

A lot of young womens profiles all look the same , theres a lot of highly glamourised and highly sexualised content this is played off by society as " just living your best life " but the reality Is much much darker than that

We have unwittingly created a society where a persons value is primarily derived from their digital image and audience be it real or not

 

[sosuave213]

A chick with social media isn't bad per se. What are her values? Morals, goals? She will express these on social media as well.

 

[natureminded]

I find it all quite interesting because social media has largely become an extension of ones self , but its a digitally curated image which people tend to highly gloss over

As the majority of peoples day to day lives are very dull and boring social media has provided the opportunity to at least fantasise about what life as a celebrity is like

and that thats what a lot of people are doing ( especially women ) they are imagining themselves as minor celebrities within their social circles

A lot of young womens profiles all look the same , theres a lot of highly glamourised and highly sexualised content this is played off by society as " just living your best life " but the reality Is much much darker than that

We have unwittingly created a society where a persons value is primarily derived from their digital image and audience be it real or not

I can’t help but agree with your analysis here, especially the bit about the much darker aspect of how this affects self perception and psyche. I really agree with your instincts that it’s not innocuous at all, and in fact secretly very damaging..

Not even just the sexualized or glamour content, but including “being the best mom”, or “best home steader”, etc etc. The “nature healer” with all the answers or the perfect “hippy mamma”. So many cliches or psychological niches to occupy.

Then we wonder why everyone is overridden with anxiety and insecurity. These lofty archetypes are things nobody can ever live up to.

In fact, maybe even a microcosm of the celebrity mental health aspect (if you google mental health effects of fame it’s quite interesting)—the feeling of having “to be” the character that’s been created.

Life is after all a pretty bumpy ****ing imperfect ride…

 

[Divorced w 3]

I returned her call which turned into a 5.5 hour conversation. I’m currently making a coffee and waffles and at some point will update.

It’s like pulling blood from a stone. But she’s also afraid of my reactions. If none of you have noticed I have big reactions.

Remember the personal focus iPhone setting, well basically it exists to suppress names from popping up as I suspected and her explanation that it wasn’t about the amount of names coming up so much as how much my lid was going to blow if I saw something come up- and I mean that’s a fair criticism I lost my mind earlier this year when it wasn’t totally forthright about the prior fling that texted during the day she wanted exclusivity … as well as prior to meeting me how she didn’t need names coming up around family and other people she was dating .

She said that as a victim of sexual assault in college, she hooked up with nobody in four years, and as such until age 25 did not have sex outside her 1.5 year relationship and slowly progressed from there, therefore she says it is not a high number, which tracks to what I know about 5 years ago which if to be believed would put her in low to mid single digits at mid 30- and I worked on explaining that the phone setting was obvious and all it was doing was creating a corrosive situation in our communication and trust.

Also said so about that deletion of the social media idea you had and she countered is that really fair, family & friends all over the place posting life updates on that, to which I can see both sides but I was like obviously it serves a dual purpose.

ill also add this … over the year for 9 months when I didn’t have the opportunity to be there every other weekend and during week for kids she was incredibly forthcoming about sending photos when she was out or calling me a reasonable time just about every night even when out west on her trip. But when she touched her coworkers back and the girl she was out west with had that involuntary facial reaction it def gave me pause in the summer.

I’ll post more in a bit.

 

[soulforge]

A chick with social media isn't bad per se. What are her values? Morals, goals? She will express these on social media as well.

Her morals, values, goals is.. seeking attention & validation.

 

[sosuave213]

I returned her call which turned into a 5.5 hour conversation. I’m currently making a coffee and waffles and at some point will update.

It’s like pulling blood from a stone. But she’s also afraid of my reactions. If none of you have noticed I have big reactions.

Remember the personal focus iPhone setting, well basically it exists to suppress names from popping up as I suspected and her explanation that it wasn’t about the amount of names coming up so much as how much my lid was going to blow if I saw something come up- and I mean that’s a fair criticism I lost my mind earlier this year when it wasn’t totally forthright about the prior fling that texted during the day she wanted exclusivity that I had to fish out… as well as prior to meeting me how she didn’t need names coming up around family and other people she was dating .

She said that as a victim of sexual assault in college, she hooked up with nobody in four years, and as such until age 25 did not have sex outside her 1.5 year relationship and slowly progressed from there, therefore she says it is not a high number, which tracks to what I know about 5 years ago which if to be believed would put her in low to mid single digits at mid 30- and I worked on explaining that the phone setting was obvious and all it was doing was creating a corrosive situation in our communication and trust.

Also said so about that deletion of the social media idea you had and she countered is that really fair, family all over the place posting life updates on that, to which I can see both sides but I was like obviously it serves a dual purpose. I’ll post more in a bit.

If you had to fish for exclusivity, I got news for you son.

Never force anyone to be exclusive if they aren't capable, or have other options they want to explore at the moment. It has nothing to do with you.

 

[Divorced w 3]

If you had to fish for exclusivity, I got news for you son.

Never force anyone to be exclusive if they aren't capable, or have other options they want to explore at the moment. It has nothing to do with you.

She asked me to be exclusive

 

[sosuave213]

She asked me to be exclusive

but you said you had to fish for it

Anyways, what are the pros and cons of dating this girl? All I can see in this thread are cons and not a single pro.

 

[Divorced w 3]

but you said you had to fish for it

Anyways, what are the pros and cons of dating this girl? All I can see in this thread are cons and not a single pro.

I had to get her to admit there was a past with the guy texting her. We were five weeks into our relationship and she wanted exclusivity. I was like okay who is this friend that you’re texting with right now obviously there is something, no shot there isn’t. I had to dig a little and I wasn’t wrong. I’m just good at the signs I guess.

 

[obelisk]

You are continuing to do mental gymnastics for her excuses rather than calling it out as it is. 5.5 hr long convo where she drops more excuses? If she really valued you in your life than she would have unilaterally stopped ALL her social media and IM whoring and validation seeking. She wouldn't have asked your opinion on the matter. If you can't trust her now with this much lack of confidence in her ability to be faithful than you certainly won't be able to down the road if you got into an LTR with her. You being in her life is clearly not a priority. Her actions continue to prove it over and over and over....

 

[Dr.Suave]

She’s pretty.

Irrelevant

She’s also afraid of my reactions.

And her explanation that it wasn’t about the amount of names coming up so much as how much my lid was going to blow if I saw something come up- and I mean that’s a fair criticism

She said that as a victim of sexual assault in college

Also said so about that deletion of the social media idea you had and she countered is that really fair, family all over the place posting life updates on that, to which I can see both sides but I was like obviously it serves a dual purpose.

To quote Jared Leto in 2016's Suicide Squad: "Bla, bla bla, bla bla, bla bla". This is just more mental gymnastics to justify not pulling the band aid yet. If im wrong, cool. But that´s what this sounds like.

Ever since you "gave in" to exclusivity, things have been going downhill. Why? Becasue you gave exclusivity to someone who was meant for plate status/recreational use only.

Nobody is perfect but when a guy gives exclusivity to the right girl, she literally gives you the biggest peace of mind more than 99% of the time. Like we have said in other threads, when you are dealing with a "high value woman" / "high quality girl" or whatever you want to call it, you rarely have to spell out your boundaries because she already knows how to behave.

If this girl was worth exclusivity, this thread wouldnt exist.

 

[sosuave213]

Irrelevant





To quote Jared Leto in 2016's Suicide Squad: "Bla, bla bla, bla bla, bla bla". This is just more mental gymnastics to justify not pulling the band aid yet. If im wrong, cool. But that´s what this sounds like.

Ever since you "gave in" to exclusivity, things have been going downhill. Why? Becasue you gave exclusivity to someone who was meant for plate status/recreational use only.

Nobody is perfect but when a guy gives exclusivity to the right girl, she literally gives you the biggest peace of mind more than 99% of the time. Like we have said in other threads, when you are dealing with a "high value woman" / "high quality girl" or whatever you want to call it, you rarely have to spell out your boundaries because she already knows how to behave.

If this girl was worth exclusivity, this thread wouldnt exist.

I can attest to this. A plate asked "what are we" and after revealing I don't want exclusivity, she proceeds to tell me she's having a threesome and later pegging a guy.

She was worried about her phucking him because of my feelings.

All I said was "I'm worried you'll phuck him too hard." She lol'd.

 

[soulforge]

You are continuing to do mental gymnastics for her excuses rather than calling it out as it is. 5.5 hr long convo where she drops more excuses? If she really valued you in your life than she would have unilaterally stopped ALL her social media and IM whoring and validation seeking. She wouldn't have asked your opinion on the matter. If you can't trust her now with this much lack of confidence in her ability to be faithful than you certainly won't be able to down the road if you got into an LTR with her. You being in her life is clearly not a priority. Her actions continue to prove it over and over and over....

I honestly believe they are ADDICTS.. She might love you, like REALLY love you.. but they cannot put the Heroin down which is (Social Media)

It's like that wife who keeps giving ultimatums to her husband to Quit gambling, or she will leave.