How to make your dating life less dreadful

[corrector]

How many times have you tried it?

That is a fair question. I did OLD in earnest between 2006-2012 and mainly used website apps. The most I got from it, apart from a few brief encounter-like short-term (no sex) relationships mainly in 2007-2008 and aborted hook-ups after a month of trying (2006), was meeting my ex-gf in 2012....which kinda made up for some of the bad experience I had prior to meeting her. After a few more tries after 2013 I just quit it since I was not getting any traction. I can't say I've tried it after 2016. 2016 being the last year I met someone from OLD. If I had a horrible experience using websites before the apps became common, and I'm only using one website (ie Christian cafe / Christian Filipina -- currently registered on both and have a paid subscription on one of them), I don't have any appetite to try out apps which is touted as being way worst than the websites. This is added to the fact my SMV is also lower since I don't have youth on my side anymore and nothing that really would attract a woman into my life...so why bother right?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

you probably are but won't be willing to admit it

again people who do well online dating convincing people with no matches that it works when those with no matches or few successes probably are inferior looks wise . that's the common trend with online I see- I got fair bunch of matches and dates in the "third world cities" like in Brazil/ Myanmar but in competitive cities like London I got legitimately nothing - US in Dallas I got hot matches when I used the apps there 10 years ago but I didn't have time to meet with any of them and doubt any of them would have met me due to the geographical issue of the vast density of Fort Worth.

I'm definitely not looks wise. Not terrible looking, just not traditionally "hot" either according to most women.

What I am is in very good shape physically, muscular with wide shoulders and built like an NFL linebacker.

And I am very good at making women excited to meet with me and do well in person conversationally and escalating wise. I present myself as a well rounded person which is sorely lacking from most people these days.

 

[corrector]

I'm definitely not looks wise. Not terrible looking, just not traditionally "hot" either according to most women.

Nobody said you have to be a "pretty boy" to be in the 5%. Those types attract a healthy subset of women because they have great facial aesthetics.

What I am is in very good shape physically, muscular with wide shoulders and built like an NFL linebacker.

That puts in in the 5% as the rugged masculine type of physique. That in itself tells me you are not going to have any trouble attracting women in OLD. In other words, you are hitting the threshold from a different category. Nobody said there is just one category.

And I am very good at making women excited to meet with me and do well in person conversationally and escalating wise. I present myself as a well rounded person which is sorely lacking from most people these days.

Have you considered the fact that because of your looks, that has already made them open to want you to excite them? It always takes two to tango. You'll find, that if you don't meet a looks threshold, the woman won't give you that opening or cooperate and that in turn becomes demotivating. You present yourself as a well rounded person because you've met a looks threshold and they are cooperating with you. If a woman does not cooperate, it doesn't matter how well rounded you are, you'll just get one word answers and her scrolling down her device while you are trying to talk with her.

 

[Isildur1]

I'm definitely not looks wise. Not terrible looking, just not traditionally "hot" either according to most women.

What I am is in very good shape physically, muscular with wide shoulders and built like an NFL linebacker.

And I am very good at making women excited to meet with me and do well in person conversationally and escalating wise. I present myself as a well rounded person which is sorely lacking from most people these days.

well you already have a body that the majority of men don't have

I also see my muscular well built friends get a lot of matches too.

the majority of men online don't have that physique level as you

 

[CornbreadFed]

you're probably in the top 5 percent of men looks wise then - for men in the bottom 90 percent its a struggle for me hence why I chose daygame as the route out of it - it also gave me options for what I wanted not just what an algorithm gave me . For my brothers that used online they still had no real abundance from it - rather they just took the first attractive girl that matched with them because that was what there was .

I'm not in the 5% of looks and OLD is pretty easy for me.

Hi Cornbread,
Posts like yours have a demoralising effect on the Young Guys and those in low income situations...only back in May you posted "G.F. wants me to sign lease agreement before I move in"....reading between the lines you were strapped for cash,quote"....I am using this opportunity to save money...",now suddenly you want to throw money around like a Man with no arms...In the same thread you talk about having 3-6 Girlfriends...Seems contradictory to me.

All I am seeing are baseless assumptions and clear misinterpretation to my OP to conjure up a troll post . I will not breathe further life into a half assed malicious troll attempt...especially from a poster listed as the age of 80.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Have you considered the fact that because of your looks, that has already made them open to want you to excite them? It always takes two to tango. You'll find, that if you don't meet a looks threshold, the woman won't give you that opening or cooperate and that in turn becomes demotivating. You present yourself as a well rounded person because you've met a looks threshold and they are cooperating with you. If a woman does not cooperate, it doesn't matter how well rounded you are, you'll just get one word answers and her scrolling down her device while you are trying to talk with her.

What are these 5% looks? I do not look like a Chad or Tyrone at all. Please help me understand.

 

[corrector]

What are these 5% looks? I do not look like a Chad or Tyrone at all. Please help me understand.

As I said, it could be within a category....your frame and physique could be a in a smaller subset of guys like @BackInTheGame78 and still put you in some category there. What is your bf %?

Based on how women are responding/reacting to you, I think it does put you into that category. You don't have the same experience of the 90% of other guys there. What @Isildur1 is saying sounds more realistic with me. It's like there is some quiet bragging going on and people are in denial about what is making things work with them, lol!

 

[CornbreadFed]

As I said, it could be within a category....your frame and physique could be a in a smaller subset of guys like @BackInTheGame78 and still put you in some category there. What is your bf %?

Based on how women are responding/reacting to you, I think it does put you into that category. You don't have the same experience of the 90% of other guys there. What @Isildur1 is saying sounds more realistic with me. It's like there is some quiet bragging going on and people are in denial about what is making things work with them, lol!

I am 6ft 1-2sh, my bf is like 17-18% now, but when I was active on the apps in the dating scene closer to 12%, and I have been told that I look like Caleb Williams the Chicago Bears qb with curly short dreads.

 

[Solomon]

First, Ray Ray & Pookie Should Not Be Your Role Models for Dating. If you can’t comfortably afford to spend $100 on a date, you probably shouldn’t be dating at all right now. I'm not saying every date needs to cost $100, but you should be prepared for that possibility. Women have far better perception skills than men, and they trust their instincts quickly. They can tell if you’re broke or just being cheap based on where you take them. Some might still go out with you if they're bored, but it’ll be a waste of time for both of you.

Here’s what you should do instead:

1. Be Selective with Your Dates, Especially if You're Using Online Dating (OLD)
A lot of men complain about women serial dating, but many of you are doing the same thing. Just because she has physical assets doesn’t mean she’s worth your time or money. Think about it: does Google waste time interviewing unqualified candidates? Are luxury real estate agents cold approaching people at Dollar Tree for coastal malibu properties? Adopt this mindset, and dating will be more enjoyable, and you'll be less bitter about it.

2. Skip the Date
You don’t always need a formal date to get to know someone or even to have sex. You can simply invite her over or go to her place. It’s not that hard—you’re just making excuses because you’re scared and weak.

3. Get Creative with Low-Cost Dates
Sure, a walk in the park can seem cheap, but the key is to find low-cost options that don’t feel that way. My go-to spots were sushi places with good happy hour specials, lounges or upscale beer gardens that looked fancy but were reasonably priced, museums, or hidden parks. Put in some effort to be creative, not lazy.

4. Screen with Coffee Dates
Coffee dates are a smart way to screen potential partners without investing too much time or money. Plenty of women on OLD are just looking to waste both, so this filters them out. Oh, but you are worried about not being able to create sexual tension over a coffee date? Let me tell you, if she ghosted you after a coffee date, she would’ve ghosted you after a drink date too. Congratulations, I just saved you $50 and a wasted evening.

These all Spot on!

I totally agree with this I think number 1. is so true and applies to me just because a girl has that look youl like or is a smokeshow doesn't mean she is worthy of a date. I went a lot of OLD dates this summer more than I have in over a decade however quantity does not equate to quality(I'm not just talking looks). I dealt with a few women with piss-poor personalities 2. catfishes 3. Women I had nothing in common with outside of sex. One girl had long blond hair in her profile but when we met in person she was bald needless to say I never saw her again

Back in the day I use to have women sent spoon pictures and vice versa to make sure pics are current but just because a woman wants to go on a date with you doesn't mean you should . Personally I think you should be able to pre-screen very well before the date (i.e. text, phone calls etc)you will realize that a lot of women don't qualify for a date. It reminds me of the guy who went viral when the first thing the girl asked him was for $2000 and he went and she put him on blast on TIk TOK

 

[Chow Mein]

I hear so many stories of cheap first dates from females. Men, you are the provider.
It’s pay to play, quality women are looking for the experience. A quality first date will make the path much easier in the long run. The $100 is an investment, you never have a second chance at a first impression.

 

[Isildur1]

As I said, it could be within a category....your frame and physique could be a in a smaller subset of guys like @BackInTheGame78 and still put you in some category there. What is your bf %?

Based on how women are responding/reacting to you, I think it does put you into that category. You don't have the same experience of the 90% of other guys there. What @Isildur1 is saying sounds more realistic with me. It's like there is some quiet bragging going on and people are in denial about what is making things work with them, lol!

looks are everything online - along with quality photos - so those who say its easy to succeed are probably alot better looking than they claim- again its the Internet anyone can lie and exaggerate their claims.

I had some minor success in Brazil online - 1 lay from a girl who was hot and did do modelling work (my last online date was 2019 - I was predominantly doing daygame from 2017) did it translate over to my hometown in London? Not even close and statistically its easy to see why as there is just a strong pool of men here for the woman choose from.

Again geography does matter a lot when it comes to both daygame and online but especially online if you're a man living in a densely populated city the competition is just going to be high - those who do well and claim they are average are not average lol you have to be at least good looking to stand out from the 10000s of desperate ****s on the apps.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

As I said, it could be within a category....your frame and physique could be a in a smaller subset of guys like @BackInTheGame78 and still put you in some category there. What is your bf %?

Based on how women are responding/reacting to you, I think it does put you into that category. You don't have the same experience of the 90% of other guys there. What @Isildur1 is saying sounds more realistic with me. It's like there is some quiet bragging going on and people are in denial about what is making things work with them, lol!

Currently around 11-12%. But this was really irrelevant. I think I may have done even better around 18-20%.

Women really have no concept of that. That's something guys are far more interested in and worried about than women are.

 

[Isildur1]

As I said, it could be within a category....your frame and physique could be a in a smaller subset of guys like @BackInTheGame78 and still put you in some category there. What is your bf %?

Based on how women are responding/reacting to you, I think it does put you into that category. You don't have the same experience of the 90% of other guys there. What @Isildur1 is saying sounds more realistic with me. It's like there is some quiet bragging going on and people are in denial about what is making things work with them, lol!

well with lay reports from people online you will never really know what the defining factor to them getting laid was -
it could be that they were tall, had muscle , charisma or wealth , or had a good vibe , humour etc.
they could be living in a part of the world were the amount of quality women also outnumber quality men
or it could be they just got lucky and matched with a horny person at the right time
or they could be just be living in a city full of low smv degenerate men which have a US or Western passport stands out alot

there are many variables - you can't take what anyone says online too seriously - I had sex with one hot girl in Brazil - can I give advice to someone how to get laid off dating apps in New York or London? Absolutely not lol because the competition is far lower in Brazil than it is in New York and London - the woman I dated even said the most attractive thing about me on the app was that I wasn't Brazilian and that most Brazilian men are too forceful and controlling she preferred western men because they were more intelligent and liked UK accents.

 

[pipeman84]

If you can’t comfortably afford to spend $100 on a date, you probably shouldn’t be dating at all right now. I'm not saying every date needs to cost $100, but you should be prepared for that possibility.

Unless she's about to become your fiancee, spending 100$ on a date is ridiculous ... pure beta mentality. And the more money you make, the more beta it is (counter-intuitive on first look, but think about it ... time is money and the more you make, the more valuable your time is. You're already spending your valuable time with her, and on top of it you add $100).
If she wants to meet you for you, then a date that'll cost nothing or next to nothing will do.
If she's the kind of gold digger who expects the guy to spend $100 on her then you shouldn't waste your time and money.

 

[Chow Mein]

Unless she's about to become your fiancee, spending 100$ on a date is ridiculous ... pure beta mentality. And the more money you make, the more beta it is (counter-intuitive on first look, but think about it ... time is money and the more you make, the more valuable your time is. You're already spending your valuable time with her, and on top of it you add $100).
If she wants to meet you for you, then a date that'll cost nothing or next to nothing will do.
If she's the kind of gold digger who expects the guy to spend $100 on her then you shouldn't waste your time and money.

This is the mindset of someone who has been out of the dating market and has a distorted view on how it ‘should’ work.
There is competition within markets.

 

[The Duke]

So if we are going to debate the costs associated with a date, lets get into the weeds a little...

Her: 2 glasses of wine = $10x2 = $20
Me: 3 mixed drinks = $15x3 = $45
Us: Appetizer = $12

TOTAL = $78 + 8% tax + 20% tip = $100

Thats pretty much standard for me. I always take my dates to nice places with good atmosphere, dim lighting, and music. This is one of the places I've taken many dates to. This is what works for me and the type of women I date. I don't consider $100 a lot to spend.

 

[Mike32ct]

Not a date, but I went out to dinner with a girl friend last night. It was about $100 total, and neither of us even drink. Just dinner and one appetizer. We split the bill as usual.

But I can see where a date could be at or close to $100 now with inflation.

 

[The Duke]

Unless she's about to become your fiancee, spending 100$ on a date is ridiculous ... pure beta mentality. And the more money you make, the more beta it is (counter-intuitive on first look, but think about it ... time is money and the more you make, the more valuable your time is. You're already spending your valuable time with her, and on top of it you add $100).
If she wants to meet you for you, then a date that'll cost nothing or next to nothing will do.
If she's the kind of gold digger who expects the guy to spend $100 on her then you shouldn't waste your time and money.

And The more you make the less valuable money is.

So what's the typical date for you? Bottle of boones farm at the park?

 

[Chow Mein]

Not a date, but I went out to dinner with a girl friend last night. It was about $100 total, and neither of us even drink. Just dinner and one appetizer. We split the bill as usual.

But I can see where a date could be at or close to $100 now with inflation.

Have you ever tried escalating with her?

 

[Mike32ct]

Have you ever tried escalating with her?

Nah, it’s too late lol. Way too far into FZ at this point.