How to get your girl to lose weight

[WORKEROUTER]

This is a predicament one that I have recently faced with an ex-gf. I told her straight up that I find fitness and a healthy body to be important to my core values. I also hinted that it is a value that I do not waiver on or ignore. She got pissed off and frustrated for a few days but in the end started hitting the gym more and eating better. But it still was not enough. She was not totally dedicated to it and didn't really change much. I didn't bring it up again but eventually we broke up and part of it had to do with the fact that I was not attracted to her physically as much. It's hard when you're a 22 yo guy and you see all kinds of fit attractive girls around.

 

[DJinTraining06]

This is a predicament one that I have recently faced with an ex-gf. I told her straight up that I find fitness and a healthy body to be important to my core values. I also hinted that it is a value that I do not waiver on or ignore. She got pissed off and frustrated for a few days but in the end started hitting the gym more and eating better. But it still was not enough. She was not totally dedicated to it and didn't really change much. I didn't bring it up again but eventually we broke up and part of it had to do with the fact that I was not attracted to her physically as much. It's hard when you're a 22 yo guy and you see all kinds of fit attractive girls around.

Your telling me brother, i have a job where i see beautiful women all day long. im 28 which is still pretty young and i just want a girl thats thinner than me or at least close in weight to me, if shes a lil more fine but not 30-40 lbs! Someone i could actually maneuver around in bed lol. I cannot budge her which is scary.
I wont say what i do, but i deal with the public and have unbelivable opportunities to talk to hot women all day long. I find myself gawking at these hot girls and even average girls as if i havent been laid in years, even though I am. But sex with a girl with back fat rolls just isnt the same. I'm young i could prob do alot better, but i love this girl so its very frustrating. Im really afraid shes gonna be a whale in a few years and never turn back.

I just dont see based on her lifestyle now at 25 how she will ever lose more than a few pounds tops. She doesnt work out ever. When i met her she belonged to a gym and went once or twice a month maybe which does not count in my opinion. She does no physical activity whatsoever and has no interest in joining or looking for a gym or even talking about it. She doesnt like walking much. She only eats food if its delicious. It has to be smothered in cheese or soemthing. She eats like an 8 yr old kid left alone in the house for a few days. Her meals when ium not home are usually - tortilla chips with dip, hot pockets, frozen pizza, pizzeria pizza, quesadillas, maybe cheessy casseroles if she feels like cooking thats about it or she has pb and j or cereal cuz shes lazy. How can someone afc or alpha change ingrained habits like these. Im gonna try but it seems futile. Grilled chicken, veggies, beans, fruit, fish, whole wheat pasta, brown rice, oatmeal, eggs. Whats so complicated about that. Eat that stuff and workout regularly am i right?

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Your telling me brother, i have a job where i see beautiful women all day long. im 28 which is still pretty young and i just want a girl thats thinner than me or at least close in weight to me, if shes a lil more fine but not 30-40 lbs! Someone i could actually maneuver around in bed lol. I cannot budge her which is scary.
I wont say what i do, but i deal with the public and have unbelivable opportunities to talk to hot women all day long. I find myself gawking at these hot girls and even average girls as if i havent been laid in years, even though I am. But sex with a girl with back fat rolls just isnt the same. I'm young i could prob do alot better, but i love this girl so its very frustrating. Im really afraid shes gonna be a whale in a few years and never turn back.

I just dont see based on her lifestyle now at 25 how she will ever lose more than a few pounds tops. She doesnt work out ever. When i met her she belonged to a gym and went once or twice a month maybe which does not count in my opinion. She does no physical activity whatsoever and has no interest in joining or looking for a gym or even talking about it. She doesnt like walking much. She only eats food if its delicious. It has to be smothered in cheese or soemthing. She eats like an 8 yr old kid left alone in the house for a few days. Her meals when ium not home are usually - tortilla chips with dip, hot pockets, frozen pizza, pizzeria pizza, quesadillas, maybe cheessy casseroles if she feels like cooking thats about it or she has pb and j or cereal cuz shes lazy. How can someone afc or alpha change ingrained habits like these. Im gonna try but it seems futile. Grilled chicken, veggies, beans, fruit, fish, whole wheat pasta, brown rice, oatmeal, eggs. Whats so complicated about that. Eat that stuff and workout regularly am i right?

Geez it sounds like you need to move on man. This girl sounds unhealthy and unattractive. Every day that you stay with her is sinking you in deeper in the relationship. It sounds like you don't even like having sex with her. And like you said, she's not even motivated. She's only 25 and already showing it. Imagine what it will be like 5 years down the road!

 

[DJinTraining06]

Geez it sounds like you need to move on man. This girl sounds unhealthy and unattractive. Every day that you stay with her is sinking you in deeper in the relationship. It sounds like you don't even like having sex with her. And like you said, she's not even motivated. She's only 25 and already showing it. Imagine what it will be like 5 years down the road!

Forget the weight thing, i need some seriosu opinions here. She went to vegas with her firends and just got back just her and 2 friends for the hell of it. She kept telling me how she was so mean to guys hitting on her the whole time. I beleived her cuz i know she usually is tough with guys like that hitting on her. Ok now last night i was a lil disturbed she called me drunk fom the club saying she missed me and that her 2 friends were making out with guys (they both have boyfriends)i was like i hope you werent making out with guys and shes liek no no i was so mean to them it was so funny. Ok so i beleived her. Now she comes back tonite and on the way home from the airport she tells me about some guys she met from england that she made fun of and all these other people. Then she mentions guys from omaha and how she made fun of omaa but they were cool and laughed about it and i thought nothin of it. She takes a shower when we get home and i look at her phone and looked thru the texts. thats not something i normally do but since she just got back from vegas i thought wat the hell i wanna make sure she is thruthful. Ok so i see texts from a number with a weird area code saying did u have a good time? To which she replied to this text "yea it was good times, how did u get this number?" Then she texted again "sorry i called u an a$$hole in the cab lol" the guy never responded back. There were no calls from the number or to the number and i dont know her voicemail password so thats not an option.

I looked up area code of that number and it turns out is an omaha nebraska area code. What do u guys make of this, this does not sounds good. Sounds to me like she might have f'd this guy somwehre. Last night she called me at 4 am vegas time saying she was tired of sleazy guys hitting on ehr and she missed me so much, and was saying this stuff over and over that she missed me and wanted to b home with me and she loved me so much. She then told me she was heading to the hotel by herself. she went home without her friends she told me she was tired and they were making out with guys at the bar. She was completely wasted i could tell she was slurring words and stuff. She never mentioned how she got home or anything. She never said anythign bout a cab. why would this guy have her number. she either gave it to him which is bad enough or he banged her at his hotel room and got the number when she was in the bathroom.

The only way this coudl b innocent is if maybe these omaha guys they hung out with at the club shared a cab with them home or with just her sinced her friends stayed. seems weird tho. The text she sent that said "yea it was good times" troubles me.

What should i make of this? I obviously cant say anythign cuz wat if im wrong then im an insecure snoop.

 

[Alle_Gory]

What should i make of this? I obviously cant say anythign cuz wat if im wrong then im an insecure snoop.

There's nothing to make of it. She's falling apart. My concern is what kind of sleazebags would hang out with her in her present condition.

 

[DJinTraining06]

There's nothing to make of it. She's falling apart. My concern is what kind of sleazebags would hang out with her in her present condition.

i wouldnt say shes fallin apart, shes always like goin to clubs with friends and getting wasted. do u think she cheated based on those tetxs?

 

[DJinTraining06]

There's nothing to make of it. She's falling apart. My concern is what kind of sleazebags would hang out with her in her present condition.

she took her phone to the bathroom with her just now wtf?

 

[shaunuk]

Let's look at this objectively.

You're not very attracted to your girlfriend anymore, and she doesn't think enough of you to stay in shape for you.

You're now suspicious she's cheating. Her girl friends were cheating their asses off, and a lot of girls will just jump on the band wagon and do whatever their girls are doing. There's a good chance she cheated. Her saying it was "good times" doesn't necessarily mean she cheated, but I wouldn't rule out the possibility.

She's also acting shady by txting in the bathroom.

Things clearly aren't up to par.

You seem miserable with her -- you want to be out there banging hotter chicks. Do do it bro. Get rid of her and start getting with the girls you want to be getting with. Take control of your fvcking life man..why would you want to be with a fatty for the rest of your life.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Sh*t what do I do about this, i can't tell her that i saw the texts on her phone. But she has texts from a guy that say she was in a a cab with him, and that in her words "it was good times".

Meanwhile she told me that she was tired and left her friends at the club and took a cab home. She didnt mention that she took a cab home with a guy. Could it be they just did it to save money and each went home to their respective hotels? Why did he have her number tho, and why was she surprised that he did, yet not upset? what was the good times she referred to, that sounds fishy.
This si driving me nuts, cuz i cant say how i know this.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Let's look at this objectively.

You're not very attracted to your girlfriend anymore, and she doesn't think enough of you to stay in shape for you.

You're now suspicious she's cheating. Her girl friends were cheating their asses off, and a lot of girls will just jump on the band wagon and do whatever their girls are doing. There's a good chance she cheated. Her saying it was "good times" doesn't necessarily mean she cheated, but I wouldn't rule out the possibility.

She's also acting shady by txting in the bathroom.

Things clearly aren't up to par.

You seem miserable with her -- you want to be out there banging hotter chicks. Do do it bro. Get rid of her and start getting with the girls you want to be getting with. Take control of your fvcking life man..why would you want to be with a fatty for the rest of your life.

Well we had great sex last night when she got home, and she didnt eat breakfast, she actually looks a lil thinner maybe she just drank her meals in vegas. SO i think she may b finally trying. i dunno isnt sharing a cab alone with a guy innapropriate enough? I mean i wouldnt carfe if thats all it was if they did it to save money buyt then why is she lying about it. She told me she took a cab home alone. It just didnt add up to me. Why all of a sudden did she call me at 4 am vegas time and start saying she missed me so much over and over and that she was tired of sleezy guys hitting on her. She was drunk and kept going on ana on. U think she was drubnk and banged the guy at his hotel and then felt real guilty about it so thats why she was saying all that stuff to me right after on the phone? It alos seems weird that she left her two close friends at the club, it was 4 am when she called and she told me today that they came home 2 hrs later. So that means they were at the club till around 5:30-5:45. isnt it empty by 5:30 am? seems weird

 

[Alle_Gory]

Sh*t what do I do about this, i can't tell her that i saw the texts on her phone. But she has texts from a guy that say she was in a a cab with him, and that in her words "it was good times".

Of course you can't. 1. Its none of your business. 2. If you mention it to her she'll become even more secretive.

She didnt mention that she took a cab home with a guy. Could it be they just did it to save money and each went home to their respective hotels? Why did he have her number tho, and why was she surprised that he did, yet not upset? what was the good times she referred to, that sounds fishy.
This si driving me nuts, cuz i cant say how i know this.

Analysis paralysis. Go take a cold shower then sit down, close your eyes and calm you thoughts. Pay attention to your instincts. You know the situation better than any of us. You have ALL the details. You already know what needs to be done, you don't need to think about it anymore. Just do it.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Of course you can't. 1. Its none of your business. 2. If you mention it to her she'll become even more secretive.



Analysis paralysis. Go take a cold shower then sit down, close your eyes and calm you thoughts. Pay attention to your instincts. You know the situation better than any of us. You have ALL the details. You already know what needs to be done, you don't need to think about it anymore. Just do it.

I agree that when it comes to gf's, the boyfriends instincts are alot better than anyone elses cuz he knows her best and knows all the details, but this one is tough, im really not sure. My gut is saying she prob didnt sleep with the guy, i dont know why its tellin me that tho cuz my intellect is adding up the facts, and the story she presented to me amd tellin me it doesnt sound right. Something about the way she called me the other night going on and on about how much she missed and loved me out of nowhere at 4 am made me think she was feeling guilty about something. Then when she told me she went home without her friends at that hr, and they came home 2 hrs later just didnt seem like her, she doesnt leave her friends normally when she goes out, they usually go home together theyre very close. Her friends who had bf's were both making out with guys and she told me this drunk,and then when i asked her bout it last night at the airport she said oops i wasnt supposed to tell u that i was kinda drunk.
Now i see these texts from the omaha area code saying "yea it was good times" "and sorry i called u an a$$hole in the cab" sounds like she hung out alone with this guy. Why does she not know how he got her number? he must have went thru her phone and the only way that coudla happened is if she was alone with him in a room or something and she went to the bathroom. Eitehr that or she forgot tshe gave it to him, but i doubt it cuz she was drunk but perfectly coherent when i talked to her last night. I doubt she woulda forgtten that she gave the number.

 

[Evzone]

I've read through this thread, and my conclusion is similar to Shaunuk.

Are you happy with her right now? What was in the past may all be well and good, but you are living for your future. The past cannot be repeated. If you cannot answer the question if you are happy with her positively, it may be time to move on. Sometimes that is the best thing for both parties, and you have to look out for your own interests as well.

You're young, and there are plenty of girls out there.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I agree that when it comes to gf's, the boyfriends instincts are alot better than anyone elses cuz he knows her best and knows all the details, but this one is tough, im really not sure. My gut is saying she prob didnt sleep with the guy, i dont know why its tellin me that tho cuz my intellect is adding up the facts, and the story she presented to me amd tellin me it doesnt sound right. Something about the way she called me the other night going on and on about how much she missed and loved me out of nowhere at 4 am made me think she was feeling guilty about something. Then when she told me she went home without her friends at that hr, and they came home 2 hrs later just didnt seem like her, she doesnt leave her friends normally when she goes out, they usually go home together theyre very close. Her friends who had bf's were both making out with guys and she told me this drunk,and then when i asked her bout it last night at the airport she said oops i wasnt supposed to tell u that i was kinda drunk.
Now i see these texts from the omaha area code saying "yea it was good times" "and sorry i called u an a$$hole in the cab" sounds like she hung out alone with this guy. Why does she not know how he got her number? he must have went thru her phone and the only way that coudla happened is if she was alone with him in a room or something and she went to the bathroom. Eitehr that or she forgot tshe gave it to him, but i doubt it cuz she was drunk but perfectly coherent when i talked to her last night. I doubt she woulda forgtten that she gave the number.

That's not what I asked you. You are focusing on this SO much. Look at this. I ask you something simple and I get a wall of text about her this and that and blah blah blah...

You need to stop talking and listen. Not just to us, but to your instincts. Pay attention to the situation. It doesn't matter what she says, pay attention to what she's NOT telling you and how she behaves. She's only telling you what you want to hear or what she's comfortable sharing.


You need to calm down. You are well on the way to becoming a mess. It's not the girl doing it to you, you're doing this all by yourself. Get a grip. Take a vacation for a few days from your job, your girl, everything.

 

[DJinTraining06]

That's not what I asked you. You are focusing on this SO much. Look at this. I ask you something simple and I get a wall of text about her this and that and blah blah blah...

You need to stop talking and listen. Not just to us, but to your instincts. Pay attention to the situation. It doesn't matter what she says, pay attention to what she's NOT telling you and how she behaves. She's only telling you what you want to hear or what she's comfortable sharing.


You need to calm down. You are well on the way to becoming a mess. It's not the girl doing it to you, you're doing this all by yourself. Get a grip. Take a vacation for a few days from your job, your girl, everything.

Well she came back and had sex with me 2 days in a row and she was all into it. Shes been eating very little too so im feelin a lil better bout her now. Think i mayhave gotten thru to her. As for the messages, i found 2 new ones that i missed. WHen she asked the guy how he got her number the guy replied "i got it from your friend" there was another text too forgot what it said, but it made it seem to me that maybe they were hanging out with these guys all ngiht and maybe throughout theiur trip. Like maybe they went to clubs together. If thats the case im ok with that not a big deal. Her friends wewre the ones that made out with them. But it still makes me a lil curious why he texted her and she responded "yea it was good times, sorry i called u an a$$hole in the cab" it was prob innocent but i dont like that she lied to me about going home in a cab alone. Hopefully she didnt take the cab to his hotel.

 

[Desert Fox]

Why are you worried about a fat chick?

Dump her and find some fresh tight girl that has discipline and motivation to keep herself healthy. Reading this thread is like reading about a daycare teacher keeping her 4 year olds in line.

When I MEET and DATE a girl, she has a certain figure, personality, and qualities that I find attractive. As soon as those qualities disappear and are no longer desirable or change to downright disgusting (aka FAT) then she goes as well.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Well she came back and had sex with me 2 days in a row and she was all into it. Shes been eating very little too so im feelin a lil better bout her now. Think i mayhave gotten thru to her. As for the messages, i found 2 new ones that i missed. WHen she asked the guy how he got her number the guy replied "i got it from your friend" there was another text too forgot what it said, but it made it seem to me that maybe they were hanging out with these guys all ngiht and maybe throughout theiur trip. Like maybe they went to clubs together. If thats the case im ok with that not a big deal. Her friends wewre the ones that made out with them. But it still makes me a lil curious why he texted her and she responded "yea it was good times, sorry i called u an a$$hole in the cab" it was prob innocent but i dont like that she lied to me about going home in a cab alone. Hopefully she didnt take the cab to his hotel.

Again. This is like the equivalent of going up to a dude and saying "hey nice car, where did you get it?"

"Oh i got it from the dealership my girlfriend was at, let me tell you all about her...."


This chick has crawled under your skin and you don't want to let this go.

 

[pjtheman]

GOOD GOD MAN!!!!! LISTEN TO ALLE GORY AND DO WHAT YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO DO!! IF I WERE YOU I WOULD GET OUT OF THERE FIND SOME THIN ***** AND BANG HER TONIGHT!! DO IT! HAVE SOME DECENT SEX. seriously do that, you are in a self destructive relationship and are determined, in true afc fasion, to stay in it until she ends it. Man up break up and get on with life

 

[Alle_Gory]

So did you do something?

 

[DJinTraining06]

So did you do something?

I gotta say she surprised me the past week. She's eating very small portions, almost no snacks and shes actually taking walks even when im not around and playing wii fit. She is definately trying now and trying to show me that shes trying. She'll tell me on the phone when im at work that she just took a walk or and what healthy meal she had for lunch. I think i may have gotten through to her.
First there was the problem with lack of sex, and now that's not a problem anymore, we did it 4 times this week. Now with the weight thing i dunno if its for real or not but so far im liking the change in her lifestyle. I find that she does whatver i do. If i say i dont want a drink or desert she doesnt get a drink or desert.
As for the thing with the vegas text messages. She deleted just those few messages he sent her, but she didnt delete any other ones from the past 3 weeks. It's obvious she didn't want me to see them. I'm thinking it was pretty innocent, she and her friends prob shared a cab with these guys. Although can 3 girls and 3 guys fit in a cab? Even if it was just 2 of the guys. I suppose u can fit 5 in a cab. 4 in back squished, 1 in front. She prob just shared a cab with the one guy and didnt want me to know about it. Not a big deal whatever i dont care bout soemthing stupid like that. seemed a lil weird tho that she deleted them and she is constantly bringing her phone in the bathroom when shes just taking a piss. The other day she got a wrong number and she seemed awfully concerned when she got it. She said "who?" and was on for longer than most people give a wrong number. She had the phone there for like 15 seconds and looked like she saw a ghost. Who knows, im giving her the benefit of the doubt that she didnt bang a dude in vegas but soemtimes ur brain tells u soemthingn is off. My brain is not sure so im giving her the benefit of the doubt.