How is being able to walk away an attractive quality?

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Always better to be the dumper than to get dumped.

Funny, I found it's better to get dumped. I've had two exes I dumped who became stalkers. None of the exes I manipulated into dumping me ever circled back.

 

[soulforge]

Funny, I found it's better to get dumped. I've had two exes I dumped who became stalkers. None of the exes I manipulated into dumping me ever circled back.

What you Dumped them? And how did they become stalkers.

I don't mind if they become stalkers, as I can firmly out them into sex category only.

 

[Westminster]

Funny, I found it's better to get dumped. I've had two exes I dumped who became stalkers. None of the exes I manipulated into dumping me ever circled back.

Maybe if you manipulate the situation that's true inasmuch as you retain control. Generally though, getting dumped can be humiliating, especially if you're not expecting it.

 

[soulforge]

Maybe if you manipulate the situation that's true inasmuch as you retain control. Generally though, getting dumped can be humiliating, especially if you're not expecting it.

Do be honest mate, my exes interest level was still high when I ended it.

She wasn't flaking
She was still giving me sex

Just her bratish attitude was too much for me, it was a roller coaster of combativeness and disrespect.

She had a hard time controling her emotions and anger, which caused the demise of the relationship.

As a dumper, it's still very difficult. As the dumping is a forced Dumping. Still hurts.

Maybe not as much as being dumped though.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What you Dumped them? And how did they become stalkers.

They didn't appreciate being dumped.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Maybe if you manipulate the situation that's true inasmuch as you retain control. Generally though, getting dumped can be humiliating, especially if you're not expecting it.

Sure, but I could always see it coming a mile off, so I would piss them off enough to dump me and get out of my life.

I don't see how it's humiliating, who would even know how my relationships ended as I was still happy with the other women.

When I got to be older and have a stable, the relationship splits became more amicable. It wasn't about dumping or being dumped but just ending the romance / sex part. I'm still on a friendly basis with most of my ex-lovers. They understand that you cannot tie me down.

 

[Westminster]

Sure, but I could always see it coming a mile off, so I would piss them off enough to dump me and get out of my life.

I don't see how it's humiliating, who would even know how my relationships ended as I was still happy with the other women.

When I got to be older and have a stable, the relationship splits became more amicable. It wasn't about dumping or being dumped but just ending the romance / sex part. I'm still on a friendly basis with most of my ex-lovers. They understand that you cannot tie me down.

Maybe humiliation isn't the right word, perhaps hurtful is more accurate.

Either way, I need to be more forward thinking and perhaps more proactive in relationships. I think I let things go on too long sometimes, but that's a fault of mine. I've done the same with jobs and friendships where I should've got out before they turned sour.

Maybe I need to be more ruthless to put it bluntly.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Maybe I need to be more ruthless to put it bluntly.

I would say, more decisive, not ruthless per se. You can let them down easy, but you have to be the one to take the decision to end it.

 

[Westminster]

When you say you lost frame what exactly do you mean? Getting angry with her one time isn't completely losing frame.

I don't think there is any long term relationship outhere where man hasn't got into an argument with his girl.

I suppose I looked to her for support when I was under attack from my former wife - which entailed some really extreme stuff.

Initially, she was supportive but I think she started seeing me as a victim (which I was) and grew tired of the situation.

In hindsight, I should've kept everything to myself but frankly I was in a bit of a state with everything, especially when my ex tried to get me fired at work.

 

[Westminster]

I would say, more decisive, not ruthless per se. You can let them down easy, but you have to be the one to take the decision to end it.

Yes, that's a good way to put it.

 

[soulforge]

Maybe humiliation isn't the right word, perhaps hurtful is more accurate.

Either way, I need to be more forward thinking and perhaps more proactive in relationships. I think I let things go on too long sometimes, but that's a fault of mine. I've done the same with jobs and friendships where I should've got out before they turned sour.

Maybe I need to be more ruthless to put it bluntly.

Honestly man I never ever share a single problem with a girl I am dating.

The game never ends. You might feel good about her supporting you, but internally they develop resentment.

 

[Westminster]

Honestly man I never ever share a single problem with a girl I am dating.

The game never ends. You might feel good about her supporting you, but internally they develop resentment.

You're right. It was a significant mistake - although, in my defence, it was hard not to do so as the circumstances were quite extreme. Your point still stands though, that's sound advice.

We're all a work in progress though I suppose and it's a mistake I won't make again. A lesson has been learned, of that there's no doubt.

Thank you for your wise words though, my friend. Some excellent counsel from you and the AmesterdamAssassin both.

 

[soulforge]

You're right. It was a significant mistake - although, in my defence, it was hard not to do so as the circumstances were quite extreme. Your point still stands though, that's sound advice.

We're all a work in progress though I suppose and it's a mistake I won't make again. A lesson has been learned, of that there's no doubt.

Thank you for your wise words though, my friend. Some excellent counsel from you and the AmesterdamAssassin both.

Yeh mate, we will likely go through a series of mistakes/break ups till we get it right.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Same. I do start over sharing when I want to disengage them. It works every time.

Honestly man I never ever share a single problem with a girl I am dating.

The game never ends. You might feel good about her supporting you, but internally they develop resentment.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Honestly man I never ever share a single problem with a girl I am dating.

The game never ends. You might feel good about her supporting you, but internally they develop resentment.

Yeah when i first got my exe in my early 20s, I was super care free. I was tired of effing around which is why i got with her but i was by no means needy. I was very matter of fact and set conditions up from the beginning, we would often go 2-3 days not talking and thats how i liked it. I wanted to establish the frame that i was not to be impeded in any significant way. It was also an open LTR at first until things got complicatd but id say that was the peak of my youthful confidence and exhuberance, now the cynism and pressure of day to day life hurts so much, i crave affection. Cant wait to get over this hump.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Being willing to walk away is a huge plus. My GF & I had a huge fight about 2 months ago. I keep some stuff at her place. So I packed everything up and loaded up my car. She lost it. Literally barred the door with her body. (I’d never physically even move her.). So that was that. We talked for about two hours. And made up. But I was absolutely ready to leave.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

They will stop you at the door if they still care about you but if they dont care about you then they will let you leave. Its actually a great test to see how much interest she has in you

I hate fights & strong emotions. I hope never to have a test like that again.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

If you’re ZFG it shows, it makes them think twice about anything they might say or do, because you’re ZFG.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I hate fights & strong emotions. I hope never to have a test like that again.

Women know if you dislike fights and strong emotions, that's why they do that to you. If you would sneer at her feeble attempts to rile you up and tell her the arguing makes her unattractive, they squash that sh1t pretty quick. Especially if they know that there are other women waiting in the wings to ride your c0ck.

 

[soulforge]

If they are causing a fight on a regular basis, damn you got to Walk away for good.