How do you get rid of a BPD woman?

[jophil28]

BPD's WILL NOT CHANGE!

There is nothing that you can do to save her (they are merciless at exploiting Captain Save-a-Hos). NOTHING !

I recently joined a local men's group..not the tree hugging, whooping and hollering in the wild kind... Just a bunch of all-age guys who are dealing with their shyte as best they can.

IT is moderated and facilitated by a middle aged psychologist. HE listened to my story about my experience with " Miss Sweetness and Light" from 2006.
At the end of the meeting he asked me to make an appointment to see him . I went along the next day to his office and we chatted further about the disaster that was my last relationship with the China Doll whom I call " Miss Sweetrness and Light." At this stage I had not told him about what I know about CLuster B girls. I wanted his opinion. After about 40 minutes of writing a whole lot of notes he stood up ,walked into the back office and returned with a DSM IV open at "Borderline Personality Disorder ".

He the said " Lets see if the criteria fit her." She fit 6 out of the nine listed.
BIngo ! He went on to say that only ASPD women do more damage and they are rare.

Eventually I pointed him at this site, HE called me the next day and said, " THose SS guys know what they are talking about , stay with them.."

I have another appointment with him Tuesday.

 

[aix237]

Well as most of u know I recently have semi gotten back with my ex. She is a bi polar maniac. She's on meds of course. Reading all this sh1t sends shivers down my spine. A lot of the situations sound all too familiar. This chick is like a bass out of water flippin an floppin like crazy. She hasn't changed really.
This girl is nuts. Well spend a whole day together and then shell just say crazy sh1t. Its true they want to abanden first cause they're scared. Within the last month we haven't gotten into large fights. But two times out of the blue she starts to question me and her for no dam reason.. Then she starts saying how she hates herself hates everyone and why am I here what do iwant from her. Wtf? She then goes on to act like im nothing to her. Then right after shell say sorry and be all lovey dovey. I tell she is crazy and has bpd. So scary how the emotions changed like that. I was kind of taken back last time cauuse she was all cool then popped her medicine then got all weird then back to normal within 10 minutes.

Shell ask me to sleep over and I do. Then shell say we need to not make this a habit. Then shell turn and say im pressuring her into a full on relationship by me sleeping over there when she is the one that asks. Then ill get a little worked up not yelling though then shell say see I doont want drama and ur causing it. Wtf.

Anyways its hard for me to just leave her when we are physically in the same room but when im not around I have problems not calling her. This ch1ck never stops. She will hound me until I move or get so afc on her.

 

[jophil28]

Well as most of u know I recently have semi gotten back with my ex. She is a bi polar maniac. She's on meds of course. Reading all this sh1t sends shivers down my spine. A lot of the situations sound all too familiar. This chick is like a bass out of water flippin an floppin like crazy. She hasn't changed really.
This girl is nuts. Well spend a whole day together and then shell just say crazy sh1t. Its true they want to abanden first cause they're scared. Within the last month we haven't gotten into large fights. But two times out of the blue she starts to question me and her for no dam reason.. Then she starts saying how she hates herself hates everyone and why am I here what do iwant from her. Wtf? She then goes on to act like im nothing to her. Then right after shell say sorry and be all lovey dovey. I tell she is crazy and has bpd. So scary how the emotions changed like that. I was kind of taken back last time cauuse she was all cool then popped her medicine then got all weird then back to normal within 10 minutes.

Shell ask me to sleep over and I do. Then shell say we need to not make this a habit. Then shell turn and say im pressuring her into a full on relationship by me sleeping over there when she is the one that asks. Then ill get a little worked up not yelling though then shell say see I doont want drama and ur causing it. Wtf.

Anyways its hard for me to just leave her when we are physically in the same room but when im not around I have problems not calling her. This ch1ck never stops. She will hound me until I move or get so afc on her.

Stop writing about her behavior - we have heard it all many times. You are dealing with MENTAL ILLNESS. You are POWERLESS to change her or fix this situation.

Bail today or go down with her.

 

[jophil28]

. They're not difficult. They are mentally ill. Do as much reading as you can. Take care of yourself man.

I partly agree with you .Mentally ill people often commit capital crimes but the law still holds them accountable. Because a perp is mentally ill or disordered does not a) Mitigate their accountablitly for pain and destruction they cause...and b) Release them from paying any penalty for their sins.
Make no mistake, BPD women are perpetrators.

BPD women are also expert actresses in the first few months , therefore they CAN regulate their behavior when it is to their advantage to do so.
Lets put that another way, BPD women know how NOT to act out, lie, cheat and manipulate when it suits them, ergo they are responsible for their later appalling behavior when the relationship starts to solidify and they feel confident in unleashing their emotional warfare on someone who just wants to love them.

You wont find much undertanding or sympathy on this board for the poor mentalliy ill BPD chica.

 

[KontrollerX]

Wait_out thanks for your shining endorsement of myself, jophil and other knowledgeable people here.

In anycase I do have to agree with what jophil has said.

And it keeps in line with what the author of Emotional Vampires Al Bernstein has said about these people and it is that thinking of them as "sick" in the way we normally view that term when it comes to the mentally ill does not apply as on some great level they are aware of what they are doing and they know that it is wrong.

They have a choice in other words and they are not so disordered that their choice does not count the same as a normal person's choice to harm someone in some way would count and they'd be held accountable for it either by the law or society.

To further simplify it these Cluster B people aren't like schizophrenics where they lose control over themselves to the point they are not responsible for their actions.

So yeah they are fair game for guys here to get with and try and have sex with and even a relationship with but I would not recommend it and it would not be at all healthy for a normal person to engage in this with one of them.

I guess I just lay that out there as a counter point to your saying guys shouldn't try and use them for sex.

I can appreciate your sentiment from a traditional morals standpoint of not wanting to see people be used but it would only be sex and thats what guys are here to learn how to get and most importantly of all that borderline or histrionic has full choice over whether she wants to have sex with one of the guys that only wants that from her from this forum or not.

To make it even more brutally clear just being out to get these women into bed isn't the same type of moral wrong as what those gentlemen on "To Catch a Predator" are attempting to engage in.

At some level despite how childish these disordered women are they are also adults with decent adult mental capacity to make these kind of decisions.

Their adult side and the mature mind from that is what allows them to think of such clever ways to manipulate people and how they do so well usually at whatever job they have and how they function so well in society and appear incredibly normal to the public.

The childlike half of them is exhibited in relationships so they are kind of half child half adult woman and again there is enough adult there making decisions for them that being with one of them wouldn't be akin to a form of pedophilia.

So getting to my larger point finally it is this...

Yes these people are mentally ill but it is not the kind of mental illness that brings about a genuine helplessness in them to where we should just treat them with kid gloves.

They can be responsible to a large enough degree that as jophil said the law will hold them accountable for what they do.

So I think the more important thing here is for everyone to simply realize what apex predators their conditions make them.

Despite some people's intentions here to use them for sex those people that would do that are in all actuality in comparison to these women lambs while those women are the lions and it is the false assumption we are compelled to take that they are actually the gentle lambs that allows them to get us comfortable enough to bare their fangs and reveal what they really are and rip our proverbial throat out.

To shore up my other point about how guys that just want to use them for sex isn't all that immoral I want to say that the Cluster B's own predatory nature and ability to sense threats and mindgames from others makes the mating dance as it were completely fair if not slightly unbalanced with the odds in the Cluster B's favor due to their inborn manipulation detection skills.

And to close up I just want to state again I don't recommend any guy here get with one or even sleep with one but I just wanted to point out that their particular mental illness isn't enough to keep them from being fair game for whoever wants to try something with them.

 

[jophil28]

The most harmless of these girls skip aimlessly from meaningless sex and bad relationships without ever really understanding what makes them so unhappy.

These "harmless"girls are probably not true BPDs. This "slutty " type is not really the type who do the kind of serious damage which is frequently the subject of posts on this board.
The predators, who are usually discussed here, are perpetrators of emotional and psychological abuse of a man who TRUSTS them with his heart.

Your empathy ( and sympathy ) for your ex G/f is touching on one hand, but naive and misplaced on the other.

Sugar-coating evil does not make it less evil.

 

[jophil28]

If someone on fire is running towards you for help, you are going to get burned if you touch them.

This sentence is only partly accurate . An SO of a BPD girl does not get "burned" by accidental ,incidental or occasional contact. HE is harmed by her deliberate campaign of deception, lying, and various forms of psych warfare . IT is insidious, malevolent and intentional ..pure bastardry.
The point that you are missing is that BPD women ENJOY hurting the men in their lives. This is their sociopathic component hard at work. Oh, they will never admit it because BPD women usually have perfected the 'sugar and spice' facade and therefore, to admit to planning a 'hate hurt ' is inconsistent with this mindset and her public "act".

Perhaps you have heard them described as " emotional vampires" ?

It may be that you escaped from, or avoided most of what most of us did not. Fortuitous indeed.

 

[KontrollerX]

"Oh, they will never admit it"

Heh heh well occassionally they might jophil depending on how your relationship with one is structured.

The second one I got involved with told me she enjoyed hurting guys she got involved with and when I asked her why she said "because it makes me feel important".

Pretty sick huh?

Yeah though I was sick too to get with her and she was only that forthcoming with me because I played the therapist role with her and wanted to know what made her tick from her own perspective.

I got this information out of her because I assured her I wouldn't leave her if the truth was brutal and I also think she told this to me because at the time it was still early in the relationship and I was in the white knight phase.

Ugh what a sick idiot I was to get involved with another one but yeah that was what she said that proved your theory that they enjoy hurting others.

Maybe the enjoyment they get isn't as sick as say their ASPD cousins like the Casey Anthony's of the world simply hurting people for the sake of hurting people but its still dark and sinister and as you might say a form of human evil.

 

[jophil28]

[b

The second one I got involved with told me she enjoyed hurting guys she got involved with and when I asked her why she said "because it makes me feel important".

Pretty sick huh?
.

Yes, their pathology knows no bounds when they are seeking power and control.

A BPD woman in an adult relationship is like an angry 3 year old drunk child with an automatic pistol plus a limitless supply of ammo.

 

[wjh]

My Ex BPD admitted to being diagnosed with it after we broke up. Our break up was really sloppy (typical), but I had known after doing some research what I was dealing with. A couple weeks after I broke up with her she started seeing a therapist because she recognized what she was doing and hated losing me (I think? Could have been the manipulation). I never once mentioned her BPD once I figured it out (a couple months before the break up), but after our breakup we had a talk and she mentioned seeing a therapist who told her she was BPD.

So I hope she's better but I haven't spoken to her in probably over a year and plan on keeping it that way because I highly doubt there's been much of a change if any.

 

[jophil28]

I pushed her hard to get into therapy and I truly hope she gets better despite how she treated me. It was my choice to stay and I don't hold that against her. I learned from it and will never do it again.

I have long suspected that the following dynamic applies to the BPD woman ( and perhaps some other Cluster b's)

She has such extraordinary self hatred that she regards a man who values her, or who wants to help her or love her as someone who is even more disgusting and worthless that she is...( this belief is probably held just below her threshold of awareness )
"He must be a REAL snotbag to love a snotbag like me " ...Ergo, it is only fitting for her to treat him accordingly, and she does, but she rapidly flips back into the sweet seductress role whenever she senses that he may be getting ready to bail. Hence the break up/ make up rollercoaster. Make-up sex is a BPD specialty.

The guy, who is unaware of her mental illness, continues to play Capt-save-a-ho after being convinced that her endless victim stories about her past are true. The reality is that they are wildly exaggerated and mostly distorted fantasies designed to elicit sympathy and pity...BPD woman speak as if they were innocent spectators, and not participants in their own lives.

His loyalty and committment to loving her and helping her, quickly feels "smothering " to her. HIs initial "confidence and dominant personality " which attracted her, is now labelled " controlling and possessive" as she senses his expectations that she will involve herself like an adult in the relationship. HE does not realise that her infantile mind is only in this to GET, not to give. All this triggers off the creation of more dramatics as she pushes him away to feel relief from having to GIVE. HE stays connected and sympathetic, and so she feels MORE contempt for his patience and understanding which cannot go unpunished so she insults, humiliates, or cheats on him for his decency(foolish as it is at this stage ). THis cycles back and forth for a month or two and then it starts to spiral downwards into a seething perverted, pit of 'mental muck'.

Her thinking reminds me of that old Marx Bros joke ," I would never join a club which would accept me as a member ."

 

[Janez]

She hoovered me back since I am not strong at all. Then more drama, more sh*t. I told her about BPD and we had many strong arguing etc. She even said that will call police because i make her so much emotional damage.. i did some stupid things as well.

she called me 15 times after 1 week of no contact. and I told her not to contact me. but i didn't resist the hoover. and things gone very bad again.

this is so stupid. I am sorry that I am letting down ppl, but that addiction to her is so strong and ... i think its coodependance, and i truly feel sick lately. I need see therapist I suppose.

 

[KontrollerX]

Don't worry man you don't let us down by doing this.

We understand.

You do let yourself down by going back with her each time and thats what you've got to focus on.

Some people need to hit rock bottom to give up an addiction which pretty much means you reach the place of no hope and there is no place but up from there.

To go that low with a BPD you stay with them until you have no self respect, energy emotional or otherwise left and you are a shell of the former man that you were.

Maybe you need to hit that point and stay with her until you reach that point of degradation to where you yell out "Enough!" to yourself and get away for good of your own accord or maybe you will get therapy right now as soon as possible and say to yourself that you don't need to fall that far in order to rebuild your life.

Its your choice of course but we're all hoping you go the therapy and no contact route for your own good.

And once again remember its not about letting us down to continue to persue her and be victimized by her its all about you letting yourself down by doing this.

This is all about your own personal responsibility Janez.

You need to take it sooner or later and remove yourself from this woman for good at some point in your life.

You can let her waste 20 years of your life in a joke of a relationship or marriage.

20 years that you can never get back...

Or

You can take the therapy option and get her out of your head in 1-2 years or less.

Again it is all your choice.

Good luck.

 

[dubAllStar]

Wow – I cannot begin to describe just how hard this thread has hit me.

I have been involved with a textbook BPD woman for over the last year. I met her while she was getting a divorce, we hooked up, we thought we were in “love,” and then it was down hill from that point on:

- She would love me one minute, hate me the next.
- She would always put me down (always)
- Only gave me compliments when I would pull away
- Sex was great in the beginning, but she used it to control me after a couple months
- She would constantly push me away, but at the same time never want to let me go
- I felt like I was with a stranger half the time I was with her
- She would always talk about her past relationships and how screwed up they were
- She was very open about how she slept around quite often before getting married (I wouldn’t doubt while she was married either)

I left to visit friends and family for holidays last year and when I got back, she was a devil b1tch times a million. She did a 180 just after I got back, telling me how she wanted to date both me and her husband to get “closure” on the marriage, I told her no and left for a week to get over it all. I get back and she moved back in with her husband and all of a sudden I am to blame.

I was still caught up in it then. We continued seeing each other until summer when she decided she had had enough of me. I was destroyed, so I took off half way across the world to collect my head for a month. I come back and walk into a sh1t storm – she left her husband because I left her, which, in turn, drove her “crazy.” When I got back, she was all about me and then 180’d again overnight. Since then she has lied to me multiple times and also admitted to manipulating me. I only took a week of that crap after being back before telling her I wanted her out of my life.

Get this, though: I work with her. I work in the same damn office as her. I am so indifferent to her now that it is driving her CRAZY. She is throwing EVERYTHING at me trying to get a reaction now – how she went out with a bunch of guys for five days she didn’t know; how she did “super crazy things” (drank too much, did to much, took to much – her words); how she was planning to move away; how she was going to find some place to be every night other than at home; how she was going to party until 8am every morning. It got to the point where it was both amusing and sad at the same time. This is still going on, mind you – only now she fluctuates between the psycho talk and just trying to ignore me and be rude.

I am not quite how to handle this delicate situation. It is horrible to witness this every single day. I am thinking about packing up my stuff and moving away (which isn’t too much of a pain – I work so I can travel so my possessions are kept light). I make great money and have a very flexible schedule, but I am thinking that getting this cancer called a woman out of my life is much more important – any thoughts?

BTW – I wouldn’t wish the pain she inflicted on me to even my worst enemies.

 

[KontrollerX]

You could move but you'll have to make clear to everyone you currently know that they are not to give that woman any of your new contact information under any circumstances.

If they are assh0les or possess the mental abilities of a brick and can't understand or refuse to understand your simple instructions surrounding this and you know them to be these kinds of people ahead of time don't tell them where you are going either.

Get them and the BPD out of your life so that the BPD can never find you.

Also if you sense they'd be moved by the BPD's bullsh!t sweet talk or crying garbage act don't give them your new information either as the BPD will use all of the tools at her disposal to manipulate anyone that you know into learning where you now are.

Alternatively you could decide that you like your life where its at and you are not going to let the Borderline push you away from a job and area you like just the way that it is.

To deal with her in this type of situation is to be a fighter in a different way in that you are not so much fighting her but your self and your emotions surrounding her that she will try to provoke and the emotions that will just come to you naturally due to your being human.

To do this effectively and reclaim your life even with her hovering in the vicinity of it you will need to see a therapist specialist in the personality disorders who can keep you grounded and who you can talk to all about this and how to deal with her in depth and you will need a network of supportive friends who understand what she is and any smear campaigns she may go on for not getting her way with you as the BS it is and stand by you and tell her to fvck off when she does this and be witnesses in your defense if she ever tries to call the cops on you and make up some fake charge to get you arrested.

Staying and fighting for your life, making these kinds of friends and having a therapist in your corner to talk to are no small order so it may indeed be better for you to just leave with no traces but I'm just telling you both options incase you don't want to uproot your life because of her and in that way give her even more control over you and your actions than she's already got by manipulating your mind so well as they are known to do to all of their victims who are not male sociopaths and better at manipulation than they themselves.

"BTW – I wouldn’t wish the pain she inflicted on me to even my worst enemies."

We've all felt it.

There's few psychological tortures in this world that hurt worse than it I'd wager.

 

[jophil28]

Wow – I cannot begin to describe just how hard this thread has hit me.

BTW – I wouldn’t wish the pain she inflicted on me to even my worst enemies.

Welcome to " THe BPD abuse Survivors guide"

Stay plugged into this forum daily until you stabilise and begin to recover - it is a slow process because these nutjobs are experts at drilling right into the most tender and vulnerable part of a man and then DELIBERATELY setting out to destroy that very part of you . THis is Satan's daughter masquerading as an angel of light. THe target of these women is that part of a man which has the highest emotional and spiritual value.. they have no scruples or conscience . Their rage and hate knows no limits. They ENJOY grinding you into a twisted wreck and then blame you for being foolish enough to love them .
And that is why you feel as if everything that you believed about the world of women an relationships has been flipped on its head .. IT all has a strong sense of unreality about it , doesn't it.

Remember it is HER who is the problem here, not you.
I have said several times that there is nothing more tragic than a BPD woman in full flight being pursued by a man who just wanted to love her.

Stay with us, your story sounds all too familiar.

 

[dubAllStar]

First off, thank you very much for the replies. I am very happy I found this forum and thread...

Staying and fighting for your life, making these kinds of friends and having a therapist in your corner to talk to are no small order so it may indeed be better for you to just leave with no traces but I'm just telling you both options incase you don't want to uproot your life because of her and in that way give her even more control over you and your actions than she's already got by manipulating your mind so well as they are known to do to all of their victims who are not male sociopaths and better at manipulation than they themselves.

The problem here is that all of my friends are back home. I live/work in a different state from where I grew up and haven't given much effort to meeting new people because she basically became my life. This was obviously a HUGE mistake, but I got tore down to become this bubbling AFC so it all made sense at the time.

Traveling abroad when I did seriously changed my life. I am so glad I left - it allowed me to realize who I was really was, which was not what she tore me down to be. It is amazing how a woman can do such a thing. I seriously believe that if I hadn't traveled when I did I would be WAY more fvcked than I feel now. I mean, I have this feeling of indifference at the moment (well, she doesn't have a solid hold on my heart or head anymore) and this would not have been the case if I hadn't left.

I see it like this: right now I feel as if I have this solid wall between us, but I am afraid that she will keep attacking the wall over and over again, at increasing brutality, until the wall starts to crumble.

Also, I forgot to mention a massive piece of information: we both work for a very close relative of mine.

And that is why you feel as if everything that you believed about the world of women an relationships has been flipped on its head .. IT all has a strong sense of unreality about it , doesn't it.

Remember it is HER who is the problem here, not you.
I have said several times that there is nothing more tragic than a BPD woman in full flight being pursued by a man who just wanted to love her.

I agree with you 100% - everything I thought I knew about woman turned out to be completely fvcked. They make you feel as though you are not man enough for them, but what really happens is that they make every man they come in contact with into this soulless being - half of a man, or a shell of a man if you will.

 

[Janez]

thank you for support.

of course, I got grounded again. I was at her house wanting to clear things up (which obviously won't get cleared up) and she said that I must go home because she will go sleep. She was dressed sexy and I was pretty sure she will go out with the "boyfriend that she left because he was cheating her". Anyway, after alot of drama, that boyfriend comes and I officially saw how slutty that b*tch is. omfg

This is really messing hard with my head. I had so many sick thoughts that I rather don't write here but I made whole f*ckin scenario how and what I would do and these are nasty things which I don't want to do because It would ruin my life.

Found about this article and it is very good article. So I realized that she is only her real self when she is crying. So when she is supplied with ego food she is just fake. Since I am smart person and I "know" her so well - I feel from home what kind of outcome will be even away from her 15km. I even feel when she is about to call me and then she calls. Its sick. anyway... she is only real when she cries (not the manipulating cry but the cry when she is alone which she actually admitted, like she admitted that she has no clue who she is).

http://www.primals.org/articles/hannig03.html#char



But What I would like to really know is.. How to stop wanting her? What kind of things should I have in mind. All I want is just be with her and make us happy. I want to fix her. I can't fix her. I "can't" just give up to the one-way road to hell. So I want to know how to stop wanting her? How to fix my head so she won't be the miracle that will make me happy. How to actually "hate" her or not care at her.

How the f*ck to get her out of my head. I think about her every f***** day for last 2 years. My life was only about her. I lost my sanity. And I pretty much don't know who I am for 7 years or so (had some **** before I met her and that **** continued after starting the relationship with her).


I read tons of psychology. Tons of sosuave posts. I read many books. I wanted to make sense of all the mess that was going on. I do stupid things sometimes but I try to be as calm as possible.

I really appreciate you guys, because ur knowledge and your frame about this women seems good and your knowledge is great and your responses hit the point.

And that movie, Girl, Interrputed, is such bull****. My ex was raging and saying nasty ugly things like nonstop every day, and the girl that supposedly had bpd was "angry" like 2 times in whole movie. Just a side thought.

 

[KontrollerX]

"How the f*ck to get her out of my head. I think about her every f***** day for last 2 years. My life was only about her. I lost my sanity. And I pretty much don't know who I am for 7 years or so (had some **** before I met her and that **** continued after starting the relationship with her)."

You have to get yourself some therapy as you probably have PTSD like most of us who've been involved with these sickos.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is what PTSD stands for BTW.

Also you could have depression from the experience.

Anyway PTSD is what causes us to obsess over them and need to go over the situation in our minds over and over again and what causes all of are incredible anger and rage at them for what they have done to us, it also makes us feel warped and spaced out like we are losing our minds.

This is why I'm not surprised when I read posts like yours about feeling you are losing your sanity as I've read posts from others on other boards who thought the same about themselves and very scared that they were turning into a Borderline which is not possible for a normal adult whose grown and matured to a certain age to turn into.

They and you just most likely have gotten PTSD from the experience and it makes perfect sense.

PTSD and depression can wreak havoc in your life long after you've gotten the BPD out of it.

"And that movie, Girl, Interrputed, is such bull****. My ex was raging and saying nasty ugly things like nonstop every day, and the girl that supposedly had bpd was "angry" like 2 times in whole movie. Just a side thought."

The reviews say Winona's character was the Borderline and Angelina Jolie's character was a sociopath but in reality observing the characters as portrayed in the movie Winona's came off as simply having some form of depression and Angelina's character came off as being the real Borderline with some ASPD characteristics.

ASPD is the new term for sociopath/psychopath and is another Cluster B Personality Disorder like BPD.

In anycase a BPD can be relatively laid back like Winona's character and not a raging screaming maniac.

They just express their hatred and contempt for the men in their life in more passive aggressive ways.

Also there are the Histrionic Personality Disordered out there who are another form of Cluster B that is similar to the Borderline in behavior except they tend not to scream or rage or try and kill you at any point. They basically just cry and lie and cheat, cheat, cheat like their Borderline cousins.

An expert on the conditions Dr. James F. Masterson has a controversial theory that BPD and HPD are simply differing extremes of the same disorder.

The authors of the DSM don't quite agree with him on that but I personally think he's probably right.

I think though that despite him probably being right that its still good for the DSM to list them as two different disorders as there are some subtle differences and it helps people not be confused when they wonder why there girl rages or doesn't rage etc. Usually if your girl is lighter in her bad treatment of you its HPD and if she's a raging screaming drugging maniac its usually Borderline though scarily enough a person can exhibit all the traits of both HPD and BPD and become a horrifically destructive emotional ****tail to any man that is unfortunate enough to cross their path who is not an emotion free sociopath.

 

[decades]

How the f*ck to get her out of my head. I think about her every f***** day for last 2 years. My life was only about her. I lost my sanity. And I pretty much don't know who I am for 7 years or so (had some **** before I met her and that **** continued after starting the relationship with her).


I read tons of psychology. Tons of sosuave posts. I read many books. I wanted to make sense of all the mess that was going on. I do stupid things sometimes but I try to be as calm as possible.

I really appreciate you guys, because ur knowledge and your frame about this women seems good and your knowledge is great and your responses hit the point.

And that movie, Girl, Interrputed, is such bull****. My ex was raging and saying nasty ugly things like nonstop every day, and the girl that supposedly had bpd was "angry" like 2 times in whole movie. Just a side thought.

you've done everything BUT the one thing guaranteed to heal you. No Contact.