How do I let go, or should I even?

[BPH]

This might be a long post, but this girl just popped up in my Facebook suggested friends and it brought me back...so now I'm very angry looking at how well her life's been going so I want to get this off my chest. Please don't expect a TL;DR for this, if it's too long, just don't read it.

This is probably the worst thing somebody's done to me.

I met this girl when I was a junior in college. She was very attractive, we hit it off, had a good thing going. Let's call her Sara. She gave me the ultimatum that she wanted to be exclusive, and I agreed. This was back when Snapchat had the top friends on who you talked to most often, and the entire time we were together we were each other's top friend.

Things were going well for a while, but then she had a conversation with me about wanting to break up because she would be moving to Florida with her family for several months out of the summer. She didn't want to hold me back by having a long-distance relationship, but I was much more of an AFC then and decided to fight for "us". She reneged, if only temporarily, but after some more time she was more insistent on the break up by the time her family vacation rolled around, and committed to it this time. I did some really cringe s*** to try to get a response, but I was being ghosted. Eventually I fell out of her Snapchat friends, and noticed a new guy was now in the top spot. I was still being ghosted so I reached out to her sister and asked about the guy, explaining who I was and what my relationship with her had been. The sister told me she had been dating and talking to this guy for a while, and that I hadn't even been mentioned to the sister.

I called her out, and got a response this time; "how do you know about him?" After that she started blowing up my phone trying to get answers on how I knew, but at that point I stopped responding and moved on.

Fast forward a few years and I get a job at my local gym and make friends with a guy, let's call him Dave. He's very much like me; enjoys going out, decent with women, we split things evenly, had a good thing going. At the time I'd probably consider him my best friend. We spent a lot of time together, both inside and outside of work.

One year he invites me to go down with him and some other of his friends to a hotel they booked at a nearby party spot by the beach for Memorial Day weekend. I agreed, one of his friends I knew from high school and we were cool. The other guy I hadn't met before but he was equally cool, so we all got along pretty well.

Unfortunately the trip is a little underwhelming for me, and I'm kind of in a mood about how much money I spent down there to be crowded with a bunch of sweaty guys at these beach bars...sweltering in the sun and being malnourished and drunk all day. My friends had all went to day drink, I decided to relax and recover so I could make it out to the night festivities. Dave's friends show up in the evening drunk at the room and decide to pass out for a bit. Dave is still out at one of the bars, so I go to one of the other bars to be by myself for a bit.

While out, I'm still in a funk hanging out by myself on the railing overlooking the band when a drunk couple backs up into the rail next to me making out. Turns out it's Dave, and the girl he's making out with? Sara...

I interrupt and pull him to the side for a moment to explain who that is to me. He says she was one of his exes as well, and that they dated for a little after college. Note: Dave is NOT the guy she started talking to that I mentioned from the Snapchat friends. I explain to him that I understand they have history, but that this girl really ruined me emotionally for a little bit, and that I'd like him to not be making out with her in front of me. I don't vividly remember, but I think he agreed to stop. He might've resumed shortly after I asked him, because he was hammered, but I don't recall.

I was already in a mood, and that REALLY ruined my night, so I ended up walking all the way back to the hotel in a pouring thunderstorm. When I arrived the 2 other guys were there drunkenly enjoying pizza.

Not too long after I got back Dave arrives back to the room...with Sara. I lost my s***...

I started yelling, enraged, telling him that he is absolutely not bringing her back to the room, and that I know exactly what they're going to do here. I tell him to take her back to her place, a car, outside, anywhere else - but I told him I was not about to share a room with my "best friend" and an ex while they have sex.

Dave tries to calm me down, says I'm acting crazy because I'm drunk, and keeps trying to rationalize it based off the fact that he and her had history - saying she drove down with her friends and doesn't have a place to stay and that they were just going to sleep. By this point Sara's turned on the water works and starts crying, saying she's scared of me and how crazy I'm acting and doesn't understand what caused it.

The two other guys, barely knowing me, and seeing a girl crying in fear, threaten to restrain me, kick me out of the room, and deny me a ride home, seeing as I had carpooled with them to get there. I don't see a resolution that works out for me at this point, and am forced to let them in.

And guess what? By the time the lights are off and everybody drunkenly passes out, I hear them having sex in the bed right next to where I am...

The next morning I don't say a word to Dave, or really anybody else. I think I only exchanged a few words with the guy who ended up driving me back before never talking to him again either. Because Dave and I are coworkers, I'm forced to see him regularly. He still doesn't understand why I'm so upset, and makes a couple half-baked apologies "if I feel that way". Eventually I'm forced to be cordial with him as well, since he speculates that my ignoring him is a personal vendetta that's causing him to lose potential clients, seeing as he worked in membership and I would never directly ask him to come out and give a tour.

Over time I eventually forgave, but didn't forget. I left that job and didn't go out with him too often after that - and when I did I always kept him at arm's length since I knew that women were a priority above even me. He's apologized multiple times, more sincerely, but it's something I really can't ever overlook. During the pandemic he seemed to rediscover religion, started dating two Christian women, the most recent of which he met while on a cross-country road trip for his new job, and is getting married to her in December this year.

He's invited me to both the bachelor party, which is coming up in a few weeks, and wedding. I've accepted, moreso because I've never been to a bachelor party and because I enjoy weddings than because I want to attend HIS.

But then this girl pops up my Facebook suggested friends. I take a look and see that she's got couples pictures with a new guy, her family business (a horse dressage) is doing very well, and looks like she's enjoying life.

And it just really pissed me off...both that this girl's life is going so well, and that I'll be attending a wedding and bachelor party of a "friend" who was able to do this to me several years ago.

This may come across as selfish, but this did genuinely interrupt my day and I'm wondering if I should let this go, and if I should, how. Clearly if it's affected me enough to write out this post I must still be carrying that resentment.

I don't know what would satisfy me; an apology, acknowledgement that she was a s****y person, her life to suck, I don't know..some sense of justice. But I still carry this.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Bro. I hate to say this, but the fact this has you so riled up after that long is kinda crazy to me.

Especially since this chick was basically never really serious with you. You had a relationship in your mind with her and to her you were just a fun guy to hang out with and do stuff while she looked for the guy she really wanted.

Not sure why you are still so focused on that. Or why you let it bother you so much.

But whatever it is, you just need to let it go. You are stuck in no man's land until you do and you are essentially the male version of what guys would call "damaged goods" for a woman.

Stop looking for revenge, an explanation, closure, whatever it is you THINK you need...you don't need any of that.

You need to flush all of it from your system, never think of this woman again and move on with your life.

Try simply forgiving her. Not for her benefit. For yours.

You are allowing this woman to effectively have control over your life in a frankly very unhealthy way. Stop it.

 

[BPH]

Bro. I hate to say this, but the fact this has you so riled up after that long is kinda crazy to me.

Especially since this chick was basically never really serious with you. You had a relationship in your mind with her and to her you were just a fun guy to hang out with and do stuff while she looked for the guy she really wanted.

Not sure why you are still so focused on that. Or why you let it bother you so much.

But whatever it is, you just need to let it go. You are stuck in no man's land until you do and you are essentially the male version of what guys would call "damaged goods" for a woman.

Stop looking for revenge, an explanation, closure, whatever it is you THINK you need...you don't need any of that.

You need to flush all of it from your system, never think of this woman again and move on with your life.

Try simply forgiving her. Not for her benefit. For yours.

You are allowing this woman to effectively have control over your life in a frankly very unhealthy way. Stop it.

I agree...I had her blocked everywhere and didn't know she even had Facebook...she popped up because we have 1 mutual friend...

To clarify, I don't think of her regularly or hold resentment towards other women because of her, but seeing her out of the blue living a good life just brought me back to that experience and pissed me off.

Do you have any thoughts about my "friend"? My parents are surprised I'm going to the bachelor party and wedding, considering they know about that event.

 

[SW15]

My parents are surprised I'm going to the bachelor party and wedding, considering they know about that event.

I would not go to that guy's bachelor party or wedding. I would have ceased contact with him a long time ago.

 

[Mike32ct]

I get how you used to have feelings for Sara, and that’s a really messed up story about her and Dave. I’m not even counting Mystery Man.

It’s going to much harder for you to let this go if you continue to be friends with Dave. I see no point at all continuing to be his friend.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Though spot.

I can very much relate.

My high school platonic crush showed up in my life last year. It was already a healed wound.

But then We had a fling (23 years later).

I thought ‘now is the time. Now she’ll be mine’.

I moved continents because of her, from Brazil to Portugal.

When I got here, it lasted 40 days. Then She said it was too much, I was too heavy, LJBF.

I left her place. Had a motorcycle accident, lost my collar bone, and my left femur died.

That was exactly one year ago today.

I had two surgeries.
She never visited me.
We never spoke again.

Anger dictated my life. I was broken , until i realized it was time to let her go, in my mind.

The advice from @BackInTheGame78 is sound mate. Forgive her. For yourself.

There is no other way. There is no retribution.
There is only you. On your path.

Anger won’t get you nowhere.

Furthermore, you should never expect anything from her. In her mind 1) you are nothing 2) she haven’t done anything wrong

Try reading ‘Humble Table, Wise Fare’ from master Hsing Yun

And about Dave, fvck Dave. Total pr!ck

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Do not associate with people who lack integrity.

 

[Rainrain]

I'm not sure if you regret the outburst of anger, but it seems that Dave does regret the situation. Most people make mistakes, especially when they are young, but there is an art to forgiving and forgetting. All humans are not evil and we wish to not hurt people; however, our impulses sometimes get the best of us and we do not know the consequences to our actions. Sometimes we burn bridges that we do not mean to.

I wonder if the situation still weighs heavily on Dave, which might be why he's trying to make amends. It’s good to see that both Dave and Sarah are somewhat successful, and I’m not sure if you blame them for your current situation, but I think you’d benefit more from making peace with it rather than dwelling on it. I am sure with all the experience Dave and you currently have as adults, both of you would have done things differently.

Just to quote one of my favourite authors, “wisdom comes to us when it is no longer any good”. Live and learn.

 

[Agamemnon43]

1. That's a typical woman behavior, nothing particularly "wrong" there

2. Dave is not your real friend. He's just someone you can hang out with sometimes.

3. Don't go to that stupid wedding, save yourself some money

4. It's better that this happened early in your life than late

 

[BPH]

Thanks to everybody who offered their thoughts on this.

After reading through, and talking to my parents to get their opinions, I think what I'll do is closest to what @Rainrain suggested.

I've never been to a bachelor party, so that would be an experience I'd like to have. Other guys in our mutual friend group are going, so that would still be a good time. The wedding is not for quite some time, and I could always decide not to go. I don't hold resentment towards Dave, but some of you have a point that I won't be able to forget about the situation if I don't forget about BOTH parties.

In either case, my parents think I should make it more about MY experience than HIS bachelor party/wedding, so I think that's the approach I'll take.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Just to quote one of my favourite authors, “wisdom comes to us when it is no longer any good”. Live and learn.

“Alas, how terrible is wisdom
when it brings no profit to the man that's wise!
This I knew well, but had forgotten it,
else I would not have come here.”
― Sophocles, Oedipus Rex

 

[The Duke]

To go to someones bachelor party/wedding just for the experience and not because of the friendship reflects poorly on what type of person you are. Its like using someone and you justify it because of a wrong doing someone has already apologized for.

Have you tried to see it thru Daves eyes?

You really need to figure out how to resolve things and close that chapter of your life. Its still dragging you down years later. You are still upset about what Dave did, and this girl Sara is still on your mind. You weren't even with her for very long. I don't think you've 100% driven the AFC butthurt out of yourself yet.

While on the trip you were butthurt because the trip was "underwhelming". Thats AFC stuff. So lets run off and pout! Reminds me of dramatic women I've dated.

You could have handled the Dave/Sara deal differently. Instead of telling Dave to leave the bar and the hotel, you could have left. Instead you escalated the situation.

Learn to process things and close those chapters so they don't fester and trouble you later in life.

 

[Divorced w 3]

To go to someones bachelor party/wedding just for the experience and not because of the friendship reflects poorly on what type of person you are. Its like using someone and you justify it because of a wrong doing someone has already apologized for.

Have you tried to see it thru Daves eyes?

You really need to figure out how to resolve things and close that chapter of your life. Its still dragging you down years later. You are still upset about what Dave did, and this girl Sara is still on your mind. You weren't even with her for very long. I don't think you've 100% driven the AFC butthurt out of yourself yet.

While on the trip you were butthurt because the trip was "underwhelming". Thats AFC stuff. So lets run off and pout! Reminds me of dramatic women I've dated.

You could have handled the Dave/Sara deal differently. Instead of telling Dave to leave the bar and the hotel, you could have left. Instead you escalated the situation.

Learn to process things and close those chapters so they don't fester and trouble you later in life.

This is actually really good point. This is almost psychopathic.

OP actually hates Dave. Dave OTOH has like zero clue how much OP hates him. If Dave had the most remote knowledge of how OP actually feels they would not be in the same room together let alone a bachelor party and wedding environment.

Dave also sounds like a moron.

 

[BPH]

To go to someones bachelor party/wedding just for the experience and not because of the friendship reflects poorly on what type of person you are. Its like using someone and you justify it because of a wrong doing someone has already apologized for.

Have you tried to see it thru Daves eyes?

You really need to figure out how to resolve things and close that chapter of your life. Its still dragging you down years later. You are still upset about what Dave did, and this girl Sara is still on your mind. You weren't even with her for very long. I don't think you've 100% driven the AFC butthurt out of yourself yet.

While on the trip you were butthurt because the trip was "underwhelming". Thats AFC stuff. So lets run off and pout! Reminds me of dramatic women I've dated.

You could have handled the Dave/Sara deal differently. Instead of telling Dave to leave the bar and the hotel, you could have left. Instead you escalated the situation.

Learn to process things and close those chapters so they don't fester and trouble you later in life.

I disagree with a lot of this...

I already paid towards the AirBNB with the other guys to attend the bachelor party and didn't have these thoughts about the situation until she popped up in my feed. I posted this because I wasn't sure if that was worth reconsidering - I had already agreed to the wedding and the bachelor party - this isn't me asking if I should now accept just to use him, but rather whether I shouldn't go to either. At best, I will always keep Dave at arm's length because he wronged me to such an extent. At worst, as so many of you have mentioned, I'd remove him from my life completely.

There is not an excuse you could give me that would justify sleeping with a best friend's ex next to them in the same room after being forced to submit and accept it.

I don't think finding the trip underwhelming was an AFC thing...I removed myself from a situation because I didn't want MY mood to become THEIR problem. I looked at the time and money spent and was disappointed with the experience.

I am surprised you think I could've handled the situation better...I can't think of what I could have done differently. I removed myself from a bad situation and went to a bar where my friend wouldn't be so I wouldn't be a downer...I explained who the girl was to my friend and asked him to stop...I further removed myself from the situation by going back to the hotel...it wasn't until she was brought back that it escalated.

What am I supposed to do? She spent the night. We check out in the morning. They're my ride home. It's thunderstorming outside. I carpooled so it's not like I can sleep in a car. It's a holiday weekend and every hotel is booked so I can't get a new room. I don't know what you think I should've done differently there, aside from being cool with it.

Normally I agree with your takes, but I don't understand your rationale for some of this.

EDIT:

This is actually really good point. This is almost psychopathic.

OP actually hates Dave. Dave OTOH has like zero clue how much OP hates him. If Dave had the most remote knowledge of how OP actually feels they would not be in the same room together let alone a bachelor party and wedding environment.

Dave also sounds like a moron.

I think you guys are overanalyzing this a bit now...

I don't hate Dave. It is one of the sh***iest things ever done to me, and I probably wouldn't have forgiven him if I weren't forced to be around him by being coworkers.

That said, I have had conversations with him since then, I have been out with him since then, I don't harbor some sort of animosity towards him where I want to get back at him or hurt him. I just know where I stand with him, and for that reason I'll never fully trust him like I once did. I thought he was my best friend and had my back, and I was wrong, so that sucked. Furthermore I have said these things TO HIS FACE, and he understands where I'm coming from.

This thread is not about whether I should "use him" for the experience to go to a bachelor party and wedding. I had already agreed to those things and was surprised he invited me, considering that event, but I was not apprehensive to accept. This thread is about whether I should reconsider any of that because of how Sara popping up showed me that I still harbor resentment - but towards HER, not HIM. Furthermore I don't blame HIM for MY situation, and was as upset as I was yesterday because I was hoping for karma to catch up with her and essentially found the opposite.

Like @Rainrain said, Dave may want to make amends for something he knows he can't take back - and I have mentioned that he has apologized multiple times more sincerely since then, post-rediscovery of religion. So if he wants to extend an olive branch, why deny that?

 

[Lotus Effect]

Pro tip:

Whenever you begin a post with;

‘I disagree’

Think twice.

 

[The Diver]

This might be a long post, but this girl just popped up in my Facebook suggested friends and it brought me back...so now I'm very angry looking at how well her life's been going so I want to get this off my chest. Please don't expect a TL;DR for this, if it's too long, just don't read it.

This is probably the worst thing somebody's done to me.

I met this girl when I was a junior in college. She was very attractive, we hit it off, had a good thing going. Let's call her Sara. She gave me the ultimatum that she wanted to be exclusive, and I agreed. This was back when Snapchat had the top friends on who you talked to most often, and the entire time we were together we were each other's top friend.

Things were going well for a while, but then she had a conversation with me about wanting to break up because she would be moving to Florida with her family for several months out of the summer. She didn't want to hold me back by having a long-distance relationship, but I was much more of an AFC then and decided to fight for "us". She reneged, if only temporarily, but after some more time she was more insistent on the break up by the time her family vacation rolled around, and committed to it this time. I did some really cringe s*** to try to get a response, but I was being ghosted. Eventually I fell out of her Snapchat friends, and noticed a new guy was now in the top spot. I was still being ghosted so I reached out to her sister and asked about the guy, explaining who I was and what my relationship with her had been. The sister told me she had been dating and talking to this guy for a while, and that I hadn't even been mentioned to the sister.

I called her out, and got a response this time; "how do you know about him?" After that she started blowing up my phone trying to get answers on how I knew, but at that point I stopped responding and moved on.

Fast forward a few years and I get a job at my local gym and make friends with a guy, let's call him Dave. He's very much like me; enjoys going out, decent with women, we split things evenly, had a good thing going. At the time I'd probably consider him my best friend. We spent a lot of time together, both inside and outside of work.

One year he invites me to go down with him and some other of his friends to a hotel they booked at a nearby party spot by the beach for Memorial Day weekend. I agreed, one of his friends I knew from high school and we were cool. The other guy I hadn't met before but he was equally cool, so we all got along pretty well.

Unfortunately the trip is a little underwhelming for me, and I'm kind of in a mood about how much money I spent down there to be crowded with a bunch of sweaty guys at these beach bars...sweltering in the sun and being malnourished and drunk all day. My friends had all went to day drink, I decided to relax and recover so I could make it out to the night festivities. Dave's friends show up in the evening drunk at the room and decide to pass out for a bit. Dave is still out at one of the bars, so I go to one of the other bars to be by myself for a bit.

While out, I'm still in a funk hanging out by myself on the railing overlooking the band when a drunk couple backs up into the rail next to me making out. Turns out it's Dave, and the girl he's making out with? Sara...

I interrupt and pull him to the side for a moment to explain who that is to me. He says she was one of his exes as well, and that they dated for a little after college. Note: Dave is NOT the guy she started talking to that I mentioned from the Snapchat friends. I explain to him that I understand they have history, but that this girl really ruined me emotionally for a little bit, and that I'd like him to not be making out with her in front of me. I don't vividly remember, but I think he agreed to stop. He might've resumed shortly after I asked him, because he was hammered, but I don't recall.

I was already in a mood, and that REALLY ruined my night, so I ended up walking all the way back to the hotel in a pouring thunderstorm. When I arrived the 2 other guys were there drunkenly enjoying pizza.

Not too long after I got back Dave arrives back to the room...with Sara. I lost my s***...

I started yelling, enraged, telling him that he is absolutely not bringing her back to the room, and that I know exactly what they're going to do here. I tell him to take her back to her place, a car, outside, anywhere else - but I told him I was not about to share a room with my "best friend" and an ex while they have sex.

Dave tries to calm me down, says I'm acting crazy because I'm drunk, and keeps trying to rationalize it based off the fact that he and her had history - saying she drove down with her friends and doesn't have a place to stay and that they were just going to sleep. By this point Sara's turned on the water works and starts crying, saying she's scared of me and how crazy I'm acting and doesn't understand what caused it.

The two other guys, barely knowing me, and seeing a girl crying in fear, threaten to restrain me, kick me out of the room, and deny me a ride home, seeing as I had carpooled with them to get there. I don't see a resolution that works out for me at this point, and am forced to let them in.

And guess what? By the time the lights are off and everybody drunkenly passes out, I hear them having sex in the bed right next to where I am...

The next morning I don't say a word to Dave, or really anybody else. I think I only exchanged a few words with the guy who ended up driving me back before never talking to him again either. Because Dave and I are coworkers, I'm forced to see him regularly. He still doesn't understand why I'm so upset, and makes a couple half-baked apologies "if I feel that way". Eventually I'm forced to be cordial with him as well, since he speculates that my ignoring him is a personal vendetta that's causing him to lose potential clients, seeing as he worked in membership and I would never directly ask him to come out and give a tour.

Over time I eventually forgave, but didn't forget. I left that job and didn't go out with him too often after that - and when I did I always kept him at arm's length since I knew that women were a priority above even me. He's apologized multiple times, more sincerely, but it's something I really can't ever overlook. During the pandemic he seemed to rediscover religion, started dating two Christian women, the most recent of which he met while on a cross-country road trip for his new job, and is getting married to her in December this year.

He's invited me to both the bachelor party, which is coming up in a few weeks, and wedding. I've accepted, moreso because I've never been to a bachelor party and because I enjoy weddings than because I want to attend HIS.

But then this girl pops up my Facebook suggested friends. I take a look and see that she's got couples pictures with a new guy, her family business (a horse dressage) is doing very well, and looks like she's enjoying life.

And it just really pissed me off...both that this girl's life is going so well, and that I'll be attending a wedding and bachelor party of a "friend" who was able to do this to me several years ago.

This may come across as selfish, but this did genuinely interrupt my day and I'm wondering if I should let this go, and if I should, how. Clearly if it's affected me enough to write out this post I must still be carrying that resentment.

I don't know what would satisfy me; an apology, acknowledgement that she was a s****y person, her life to suck, I don't know..some sense of justice. But I still carry this.

Marcus Aurelius once said:
If you'll be asked to get rid off one thing in your life - get rid off your Ego.

She didn't want you then, and she doesn't want you now, and that's what killing you.

 

[BPH]

Marcus Aurelius once said:
If you'll be asked to get rid off one thing in your life - get rid off your Ego.

She didn't want you then, and she doesn't want you now, and that's what killing you.

Did you even read the post?

What part of this reads like I want her back?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Everyone is saying to forgive and forget, but how exactly does one forgive and forget?

 

[The Diver]

Did you even read the post?

What part of this reads like I want her back?

Yes, I read it all.
You may not want her back, but it's hurt your ego knowing she offered you friendship while she's with another guy. And for you, maybe, it feels like you got again only the crumbs while someone else got the whole cake. ( Even if you don't want her anymore).

I have no idea why you hold resentment toward her. What did she do wrong? Fu** ed your best friend? Once she is not yours, it shouldn't bother you what she does.

You have no control over other people's actions and only have control over your response to said actions. And the way you respond to this whole event is from a bruised ego.

You are giving her way too much importance in your life, then, and even now, to the point it's upsetting you so much. Why do you care if she doing well in life? Why it's so important for you?

You are one of the experience posters on here, and seeing you rattling by a piece of a$$ from way back, is puzzling me.

 

[BPH]

Yes, I read it all.
You may not want her back, but it's hurt your ego knowing she offered you friendship while she's with another guy. And for you, maybe, it feels like you got again only the crumbs while someone else got the whole cake. ( Even if you don't want her anymore).

I have no idea why you hold resentment toward her. What did she do wrong? Fu** ed your best friend? Once she is not yours, it shouldn't bother you what she does.

Offered me friendship? What are you talking about?

Why do I hold resentment? I was emotionally invested in her and the way things ended was dishonest, so I wasn't happy about it but it's college and life went on, no big deal...

But then my best friend f***s her in the bed next to me in a shared hotel room, after much protesting by me, and you're asking me what she did wrong and wondering why it bothers me?

How do you think you'd feel if your best friend f***ed an ex you used to care about, who did you wrong, a few short feet away from the bed you're in, after being threatened into submission?

How the hell do you think this is about ego? I don't want to see her, but when I do, like I did on Facebook, I'd not like to see that her life is on the up-and-up. I'd like for her life to suck a little bit, to see that karma has made its way around to her, that there was some sort of justice in the world.

This thread was about whether this resentment should hold me back from moving forward with plans that I made with Dave, seeing as I still harbor resentment about the situation, but directed at her, not him. I think you kinda missed the point here.