BPH
Master Don Juan
This might be a long post, but this girl just popped up in my Facebook suggested friends and it brought me back...so now I'm very angry looking at how well her life's been going so I want to get this off my chest. Please don't expect a TL;DR for this, if it's too long, just don't read it.
This is probably the worst thing somebody's done to me.
I met this girl when I was a junior in college. She was very attractive, we hit it off, had a good thing going. Let's call her Sara. She gave me the ultimatum that she wanted to be exclusive, and I agreed. This was back when Snapchat had the top friends on who you talked to most often, and the entire time we were together we were each other's top friend.
Things were going well for a while, but then she had a conversation with me about wanting to break up because she would be moving to Florida with her family for several months out of the summer. She didn't want to hold me back by having a long-distance relationship, but I was much more of an AFC then and decided to fight for "us". She reneged, if only temporarily, but after some more time she was more insistent on the break up by the time her family vacation rolled around, and committed to it this time. I did some really cringe s*** to try to get a response, but I was being ghosted. Eventually I fell out of her Snapchat friends, and noticed a new guy was now in the top spot. I was still being ghosted so I reached out to her sister and asked about the guy, explaining who I was and what my relationship with her had been. The sister told me she had been dating and talking to this guy for a while, and that I hadn't even been mentioned to the sister.
I called her out, and got a response this time; "how do you know about him?" After that she started blowing up my phone trying to get answers on how I knew, but at that point I stopped responding and moved on.
Fast forward a few years and I get a job at my local gym and make friends with a guy, let's call him Dave. He's very much like me; enjoys going out, decent with women, we split things evenly, had a good thing going. At the time I'd probably consider him my best friend. We spent a lot of time together, both inside and outside of work.
One year he invites me to go down with him and some other of his friends to a hotel they booked at a nearby party spot by the beach for Memorial Day weekend. I agreed, one of his friends I knew from high school and we were cool. The other guy I hadn't met before but he was equally cool, so we all got along pretty well.
Unfortunately the trip is a little underwhelming for me, and I'm kind of in a mood about how much money I spent down there to be crowded with a bunch of sweaty guys at these beach bars...sweltering in the sun and being malnourished and drunk all day. My friends had all went to day drink, I decided to relax and recover so I could make it out to the night festivities. Dave's friends show up in the evening drunk at the room and decide to pass out for a bit. Dave is still out at one of the bars, so I go to one of the other bars to be by myself for a bit.
While out, I'm still in a funk hanging out by myself on the railing overlooking the band when a drunk couple backs up into the rail next to me making out. Turns out it's Dave, and the girl he's making out with? Sara...
I interrupt and pull him to the side for a moment to explain who that is to me. He says she was one of his exes as well, and that they dated for a little after college. Note: Dave is NOT the guy she started talking to that I mentioned from the Snapchat friends. I explain to him that I understand they have history, but that this girl really ruined me emotionally for a little bit, and that I'd like him to not be making out with her in front of me. I don't vividly remember, but I think he agreed to stop. He might've resumed shortly after I asked him, because he was hammered, but I don't recall.
I was already in a mood, and that REALLY ruined my night, so I ended up walking all the way back to the hotel in a pouring thunderstorm. When I arrived the 2 other guys were there drunkenly enjoying pizza.
Not too long after I got back Dave arrives back to the room...with Sara. I lost my s***...
I started yelling, enraged, telling him that he is absolutely not bringing her back to the room, and that I know exactly what they're going to do here. I tell him to take her back to her place, a car, outside, anywhere else - but I told him I was not about to share a room with my "best friend" and an ex while they have sex.
Dave tries to calm me down, says I'm acting crazy because I'm drunk, and keeps trying to rationalize it based off the fact that he and her had history - saying she drove down with her friends and doesn't have a place to stay and that they were just going to sleep. By this point Sara's turned on the water works and starts crying, saying she's scared of me and how crazy I'm acting and doesn't understand what caused it.
The two other guys, barely knowing me, and seeing a girl crying in fear, threaten to restrain me, kick me out of the room, and deny me a ride home, seeing as I had carpooled with them to get there. I don't see a resolution that works out for me at this point, and am forced to let them in.
And guess what? By the time the lights are off and everybody drunkenly passes out, I hear them having sex in the bed right next to where I am...
The next morning I don't say a word to Dave, or really anybody else. I think I only exchanged a few words with the guy who ended up driving me back before never talking to him again either. Because Dave and I are coworkers, I'm forced to see him regularly. He still doesn't understand why I'm so upset, and makes a couple half-baked apologies "if I feel that way". Eventually I'm forced to be cordial with him as well, since he speculates that my ignoring him is a personal vendetta that's causing him to lose potential clients, seeing as he worked in membership and I would never directly ask him to come out and give a tour.
Over time I eventually forgave, but didn't forget. I left that job and didn't go out with him too often after that - and when I did I always kept him at arm's length since I knew that women were a priority above even me. He's apologized multiple times, more sincerely, but it's something I really can't ever overlook. During the pandemic he seemed to rediscover religion, started dating two Christian women, the most recent of which he met while on a cross-country road trip for his new job, and is getting married to her in December this year.
He's invited me to both the bachelor party, which is coming up in a few weeks, and wedding. I've accepted, moreso because I've never been to a bachelor party and because I enjoy weddings than because I want to attend HIS.
But then this girl pops up my Facebook suggested friends. I take a look and see that she's got couples pictures with a new guy, her family business (a horse dressage) is doing very well, and looks like she's enjoying life.
And it just really pissed me off...both that this girl's life is going so well, and that I'll be attending a wedding and bachelor party of a "friend" who was able to do this to me several years ago.
This may come across as selfish, but this did genuinely interrupt my day and I'm wondering if I should let this go, and if I should, how. Clearly if it's affected me enough to write out this post I must still be carrying that resentment.
I don't know what would satisfy me; an apology, acknowledgement that she was a s****y person, her life to suck, I don't know..some sense of justice. But I still carry this.
This is probably the worst thing somebody's done to me.
I met this girl when I was a junior in college. She was very attractive, we hit it off, had a good thing going. Let's call her Sara. She gave me the ultimatum that she wanted to be exclusive, and I agreed. This was back when Snapchat had the top friends on who you talked to most often, and the entire time we were together we were each other's top friend.
Things were going well for a while, but then she had a conversation with me about wanting to break up because she would be moving to Florida with her family for several months out of the summer. She didn't want to hold me back by having a long-distance relationship, but I was much more of an AFC then and decided to fight for "us". She reneged, if only temporarily, but after some more time she was more insistent on the break up by the time her family vacation rolled around, and committed to it this time. I did some really cringe s*** to try to get a response, but I was being ghosted. Eventually I fell out of her Snapchat friends, and noticed a new guy was now in the top spot. I was still being ghosted so I reached out to her sister and asked about the guy, explaining who I was and what my relationship with her had been. The sister told me she had been dating and talking to this guy for a while, and that I hadn't even been mentioned to the sister.
I called her out, and got a response this time; "how do you know about him?" After that she started blowing up my phone trying to get answers on how I knew, but at that point I stopped responding and moved on.
Fast forward a few years and I get a job at my local gym and make friends with a guy, let's call him Dave. He's very much like me; enjoys going out, decent with women, we split things evenly, had a good thing going. At the time I'd probably consider him my best friend. We spent a lot of time together, both inside and outside of work.
One year he invites me to go down with him and some other of his friends to a hotel they booked at a nearby party spot by the beach for Memorial Day weekend. I agreed, one of his friends I knew from high school and we were cool. The other guy I hadn't met before but he was equally cool, so we all got along pretty well.
Unfortunately the trip is a little underwhelming for me, and I'm kind of in a mood about how much money I spent down there to be crowded with a bunch of sweaty guys at these beach bars...sweltering in the sun and being malnourished and drunk all day. My friends had all went to day drink, I decided to relax and recover so I could make it out to the night festivities. Dave's friends show up in the evening drunk at the room and decide to pass out for a bit. Dave is still out at one of the bars, so I go to one of the other bars to be by myself for a bit.
While out, I'm still in a funk hanging out by myself on the railing overlooking the band when a drunk couple backs up into the rail next to me making out. Turns out it's Dave, and the girl he's making out with? Sara...
I interrupt and pull him to the side for a moment to explain who that is to me. He says she was one of his exes as well, and that they dated for a little after college. Note: Dave is NOT the guy she started talking to that I mentioned from the Snapchat friends. I explain to him that I understand they have history, but that this girl really ruined me emotionally for a little bit, and that I'd like him to not be making out with her in front of me. I don't vividly remember, but I think he agreed to stop. He might've resumed shortly after I asked him, because he was hammered, but I don't recall.
I was already in a mood, and that REALLY ruined my night, so I ended up walking all the way back to the hotel in a pouring thunderstorm. When I arrived the 2 other guys were there drunkenly enjoying pizza.
Not too long after I got back Dave arrives back to the room...with Sara. I lost my s***...
I started yelling, enraged, telling him that he is absolutely not bringing her back to the room, and that I know exactly what they're going to do here. I tell him to take her back to her place, a car, outside, anywhere else - but I told him I was not about to share a room with my "best friend" and an ex while they have sex.
Dave tries to calm me down, says I'm acting crazy because I'm drunk, and keeps trying to rationalize it based off the fact that he and her had history - saying she drove down with her friends and doesn't have a place to stay and that they were just going to sleep. By this point Sara's turned on the water works and starts crying, saying she's scared of me and how crazy I'm acting and doesn't understand what caused it.
The two other guys, barely knowing me, and seeing a girl crying in fear, threaten to restrain me, kick me out of the room, and deny me a ride home, seeing as I had carpooled with them to get there. I don't see a resolution that works out for me at this point, and am forced to let them in.
And guess what? By the time the lights are off and everybody drunkenly passes out, I hear them having sex in the bed right next to where I am...
The next morning I don't say a word to Dave, or really anybody else. I think I only exchanged a few words with the guy who ended up driving me back before never talking to him again either. Because Dave and I are coworkers, I'm forced to see him regularly. He still doesn't understand why I'm so upset, and makes a couple half-baked apologies "if I feel that way". Eventually I'm forced to be cordial with him as well, since he speculates that my ignoring him is a personal vendetta that's causing him to lose potential clients, seeing as he worked in membership and I would never directly ask him to come out and give a tour.
Over time I eventually forgave, but didn't forget. I left that job and didn't go out with him too often after that - and when I did I always kept him at arm's length since I knew that women were a priority above even me. He's apologized multiple times, more sincerely, but it's something I really can't ever overlook. During the pandemic he seemed to rediscover religion, started dating two Christian women, the most recent of which he met while on a cross-country road trip for his new job, and is getting married to her in December this year.
He's invited me to both the bachelor party, which is coming up in a few weeks, and wedding. I've accepted, moreso because I've never been to a bachelor party and because I enjoy weddings than because I want to attend HIS.
But then this girl pops up my Facebook suggested friends. I take a look and see that she's got couples pictures with a new guy, her family business (a horse dressage) is doing very well, and looks like she's enjoying life.
And it just really pissed me off...both that this girl's life is going so well, and that I'll be attending a wedding and bachelor party of a "friend" who was able to do this to me several years ago.
This may come across as selfish, but this did genuinely interrupt my day and I'm wondering if I should let this go, and if I should, how. Clearly if it's affected me enough to write out this post I must still be carrying that resentment.
I don't know what would satisfy me; an apology, acknowledgement that she was a s****y person, her life to suck, I don't know..some sense of justice. But I still carry this.
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