Hot Girl Demands Good Dinner For Date. Smash Or Pass?

BackInTheGame78

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I agree.



This is what I do as well. In the early 2010s, it was very eye opening to me to learn that dinner dates in restaurants are bad dates. Then I stopped doing them. It's more difficult to get a woman to your place for dinner for date 2 but it's easier for get for date 3.
Yup because most women have a "3 date" rule in their mind before they will "fvck" without a lot of resistance to overcome. By date 3 it's almost always 0 resistance and half the time they are the ones making the move by starting to kiss me and then straddling on top of me on the couch. A few times I have gotten them so hot and bothered we fvck in the kitchen while dinner is cooking.
 
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DoofusDonutDude

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Treat a woman like a princess and you'll get a princess. Treat a woman like a normal woman and you'll get a normal woman. Or they'll weed themselves out.

Women will try to take a mile when you give them an inch.

OP's main issue in this interaction is he pushed sex constantly making her assume he just wanted to fvck and no interest in her outside of that. He essentially is now in a transactional stage where the woman might go for it but since she doesn't see it going anywhere wants something to make him "earn it".

You can "earn it" in different ways. And it doesn't have to be with money.

IMHO, I don't even take women out to dinner until after we fvck and it never is an issue. The first dinner they get is usually date 3 at my place where we find a fun recipe to try out and we cook it together while drinking some wine before and during dinner. She is my kitchen assistant.

Fun and flirty. No crazy bill to pay and my bedroom is only a few steps away instead of miles away. Also women find men who know how to cook well and lead them by giving instructions in the kitchen sexy. Been told that many many times. Also doesn't hurt when you throw in random butt grabs and come up behind them and kiss their neck while pulling them back into your hardon pressing into their ass either and a few makeout sessions while things are cooking.
Thanks. Makes sense!
 
M

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don't know, maybe i'm wrong and looking at all the wrong way. There must be a balance between frame control and making an effort.
Of course, absolutely. And from what I read most posters agree with that.

Netflix and Chill is not effort unless you're making dinner or ordering out but creating a nice vibe at home (making sure home is clean, soft lighting, a nice spread) = effort.

The OP's chick was not wrong for wanting dinner imo. The problem was she wasn't gracious. She was demanding and appeared entitled in how she conveyed her desire for dinner to the OP.

THAT's the problem, not that she preferred to be taken to dinner. Both men and women have their own standards and those standards should be respected on both sides.

That does NOT mean you have to continue dating such person if her/his standards don't match yours, however they should be respected regardless.

Again the problem here is that when expressing her disappointment that the OP didn't take her to dinner, and demanding that he should and at a 5-star restaurant no less, she came across as a demanding entitled b*tch.

A more gracious woman would have politely said no to Netflix and Chill and given HIM the opportunity to suggest another plan. That's feminine energy.

Not necessarily "dinner," but something fun, an activity they could do together outside the house and put some effort into planning and executing it.

Mini golf, bowling (my personal fave lol), or as @Pierce.Manhammer said, a drink at a trendy brew club (another fave). If they're clicking they can always head back to his afterwards.

By doing so, YOU are controlling the frame while at the same time making effort. Once you start dating regularly, it's OK to decide what to do, where to go, together.

But again, here she just came off as an entitled b*tch. She attempted to take complete control of the frame which is masculine energy and a complete turn off for most men including the OP.
 
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BackInTheGame78

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You make it sound like they always hungry:lol:
When a guy is paying for a fancy dinner some won't eat the whole day leading up to it...at least the ones I've talked to about it have said some version of that...sometimes joking but probably half serious.
 

The Duke

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When a guy is paying for a fancy dinner some won't eat the whole day leading up to it...at least the ones I've talked to about it have said some version of that...sometimes joking but probably half serious.
I had a female cousin that would schedule dates right across from her apartment and not eat the whole day. If she was on the fence about some guy, she would tell him that she wanted to go eat at one of the nice restaurants within walking distance from her apartment. They would drive half way across town to buy her dinner and little did they know she walked right out her front door. Its was all about a free meal and no investment on her part. She was always the selfish type.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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I had a female cousin that would schedule dates right across from her apartment and not eat the whole day. If she was on the fence about some guy, she would tell him that she wanted to go eat at one of the nice restaurants within walking distance from her apartment. They would drive half way across town to buy her dinner and little did they know she walked right out her front door. Its was all about a free meal and no investment on her part. She was always the selfish type.
I'm pretty sure she's not the only woman to do that.

From working in the nightlife I met plenty of women who go out without any money because they know there will be men plying them with food and drink in exchange for pretending to be open to 'more'. I never fell for it, but I know that this has being going on since the 1950s.

Girl using tinder to have free acco and food.jpeg
 

jamesfromhouston

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I thought I'd give a funny little update to this thread.

So a couple of nights ago, I matched another EE chick from OLD.

She asked to hangout with me. I said sure. Let's meet at x and x for a date.

She then proceeds to say to me that it would be nice if I could order a cab for her to pick her up to the date place (which BTW is less than 20 mins from hers. Its not even that far). Bear in mind I have never even met this chick and she's asking me to pay for her pick up.

Ofcourse I could easily afford the cab fare but I thought to myself. "Wtf? I've never even met this chick and she wants me to get her a cab? WTF is this bs"

So I asked her why not get her own cab. She then replied because it was the nice thing for me to do and clearly I'm not nice because I challenged her so she doesn't want to hang anymore.

I immediately blocked that ***** lol. I feel so lucky to not have wasted time on this.

Yo...I don't want to generalize or stereotype but these EE girls are ****ed.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Gamisch

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I agree. There are still a lot of chumps out there. Even in the 2020s, women on swipe apps are still getting plenty of first date offers for dinners in restaurants, despite the fact that so many articles now exist to urge men to avoid dinner dates in the early stages. Even the mainstream media was piking up on this as far back as 2016. In 2016, the mainstream media was at least 5-10 years behind the trend talked about in seduction spaces online.


Why are men even offering dinner dates anymore if the mainstream media has even noticed this?
Lets face it: most men are absolute suckers for love. Even the mythical Chad won't encounter a "hb9" on a daily.. So, the real problem is ( as useal) volume. No matter what, you should always hold frame. Getting bullied to pay her dinner..phow..that's gonna be a gruesome relationship..that is something you MUST know by bow OP

@OP seems like you want more than you can chew.

Funnily enough THIS reply:
You can't say you want a trad-con woman and can't even provide for dates. What are you thinking?
Summarizes the situation perfectly. Most of us want a traditional relationship without putting in the traditional work..N&chill is NOT traditional..that's as modern as it gets...

Traditional meant you'd approach a woman, text/ call her ( spending already!!), took her out while you kept spitting flava in her ear when separated. I.o.w she already was and always would be a money drain. Yes kiddos, I'm talking about the pre internet era, when you still had to throw coins into a phonecell..or a text would cost you 50 cents..

This type of behavior( feckboy behavior)is reserved for 1. Men with a lotta volume 2. Men who TRULY know what they want 3. A combination of 1 and 2. Especially 2 means you are willing to walk away. Well, the moment you have to "negotiate desire" ,you already show you operate from a vision of weakness, and,/ or lack of experience with women on that level.. because if you do have the experience, you simply cannot put ANY woman on a pedestal anymore..


4. = desperate TRYING to be all the above while fearing that you will never ever evah meet one like her again..

LISTEN FELLAS: every man better learns quickly what niche is right for him..ask yourself: how do I come across, what is realistic to expect, what type of woman do I want, AM I EVEN GOING TO STAND A CHANCE , ect ect.

When you act like you are lost in this jungle called modern dating, you'll bound to get eaten alive..
 
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AmsterdamAssassin

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So I asked her why not get her own cab. She then replied because it was the nice thing for me to do and clearly I'm not nice because I challenged her so she doesn't want to hang anymore.
She's looking for a provider or someone to scam.

I had one that asked me for money to put gas in her car to come over to my house in Amsterdam Centrum from Diemen. I told her that taking a car to my house is a waste of time and money when there is a public transport option that would take less time than she'd need to find a parking space in my neighbourhood. Not to mention that parking in my neighbourhood is 7-8 euro an hour.

My logic angered her and she didn't want to come over anymore. Then she asked me, if I didn't want to spring for gas, would I buy an Apple gift card to give her grandma something nice...

You just dodged another scammer, dude.
 

Gamisch

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She's looking for a provider or someone to scam.

I had one that asked me for money to put gas in her car to come over to my house in Amsterdam Centrum from Diemen. I told her that taking a car to my house is a waste of time and money when there is a public transport option that would take less time than she'd need to find a parking space in my neighbourhood. Not to mention that parking in my neighbourhood is 7-8 euro an hour.

My logic angered her and she didn't want to come over anymore. Then she asked me, if I didn't want to spring for gas, would I buy an Apple gift card to give her grandma something nice...

You just dodged another scammer, dude.
Rightfully so.

I start to actually understand women like this..we KNOW 99,9 % of women (especially non cooperatives ones) aint SHYTE. Despite this, we keep chasing the fish hole. Cool. So. You'll pay the price, both literally and figuratively. Untill a man learns his lesson..

An unpopular opinion here, but lets say there are two types of men: 1. in YouTube comments you'll ALWAYS find 30/40 + old dudes who say the gave up..they keep attracting the same types, and after a while a man is done. 2 the man who keeps getting taken to the cleaners, remarries 4 times ,ends up in trouble due to women ,she fecks his cousin/twin/father/ bff ect.

OP comes across as 2. For the longest time I would root for men who keep going, but nowedays i tend to lose respect real quick when I feel like a man is simply born to be played but refuses to acknowledge this. If the latter is true, better STEP back one time,to make 2 forward ..

SMASH OR PASS. As if the possibility of smashing was even an option..no it wasn't. This title might've been something SHE could've asked her female friends IF she was sincerely interested in OP..
 

SW15

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most men are absolute suckers for love. Even the mythical Chad won't encounter a "hb9" on a daily.. So, the real problem is ( as useal) volume. No matter what, you should always hold frame. Getting bullied to pay her dinner..phow..that's gonna be a gruesome relationship.....When you act like you are lost in this jungle called modern dating, you'll bound to get eaten alive..
It has been said that men are the true romantics. I believe in that. From what I observe, there are far more men getting wrecked in the jungle of modern dating than women.

Very good viewpoint here!

Iron Rule of Tomassi #1 - Frame is Everything.
 

jamesfromhouston

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@jamesfromhouston What country are you in?
Mainly NYC but nowadays I travel a lot. Especially to Europe and been meeting these crazy girls there.

Getting bullied to pay her dinner..phow..that's gonna be a gruesome relationship..that is something you MUST know by bow OP

@OP seems like you want more than you can chew.
Haha dude. I wasn't bullied into it. I rejected her in the end. I told that dinner chick that we weren't vibing because she kept insisting on dinner rather than the plans I had set in mind.

SMASH OR PASS. As if the possibility of smashing was even an option..no it wasn't. This title might've been something SHE could've asked her female friends IF she was sincerely interested in OP..
I think my thread title threw a lot of bros off. I chose it because on our first meet, based on her initial IOIs, our heated conversation and kino and also discussion of Netflix chilling on next meet, I assumed we will definitely smash but she suddenly demanded a fancy dinner at an expensive restaurant. Even though she was keen to see me apparently. Askes me out almost immediately after our first meet. So in my head i was thinking do i stick to my guns to pass or sell myself short of one expensive dinner to smash. But readinf everyones comment and the fact she was negotiating so hard...yes, maybe the smash was off the table by then. I wouldn't know. I passed in the end. Felt ridiculous to be demanded to go to a very specific restaurant from a girl who apparently told me she is horny for me.
 
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jamesfromhouston

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She's looking for a provider or someone to scam.

I had one that asked me for money to put gas in her car to come over to my house in Amsterdam Centrum from Diemen. I told her that taking a car to my house is a waste of time and money when there is a public transport option that would take less time than she'd need to find a parking space in my neighbourhood. Not to mention that parking in my neighbourhood is 7-8 euro an hour.

My logic angered her and she didn't want to come over anymore. Then she asked me, if I didn't want to spring for gas, would I buy an Apple gift card to give her grandma something nice...

You just dodged another scammer, dude.
I agree. These EE girls seem to have a very high sense of entitlement. It seriously baffles me how a girl I've never met demanded me to organize and pay for a cab to our first meet and feels offended that I questioned that.

They're looking for Simps.
 

Solomon

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Personal Update In the last 2 weeks Had 2 Girls cancel dates because I wouldn't take them to dinner

Girl 1-We planned going bowling, on the day off, she asked if were going to eat, I told her no, she says she would eat before we meet, she ended up canceling shortly after and I deleted her and blocked her number

Girl 2-A former FWB, we hadn't seen each other in 3 months, we made plans at her place for drinks and kinky fun, plans set then she asked if I would take her out to eat, I told her no, she then texted me 2 days later stating she would be going camping with her kids

deleted her number as well as I have other plates

Gentlemen be careful, these women are hungry lol
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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