There are basically 6 vaginal smells. I have to specify vaginal because if you get a woman that has been out all day and you hit it from the back, without giving her time to wash, it may smell like ass. Without further ado:
1. The Stripper – The Stripper is ideal. It usually has a really nice texture to go along with it. Guys always picture strippers being extremely clean, because every day is like going to the doctor for them. There is an odor, but it’s very distinct and pleasant; almost like an organic rubbery smell and feel to it. This is only before the flood works begin, then the woman’s personal smell comes through more, but it’s still good. The best is when the woman has the stripper perfume to go with it. I don’t know what it is, but most strippers I’ve ever come across have a certain perfume smell that is unmistakable. The best was when I had a girl who had the stripper and the perfume smell. Damn, that was a good night. The Stripper is the only time I go down, with the exception of…
2. The Accountant – This one has no odor and never gets wet. I’ve only come across one of these and it was some kind of medical condition. It was better than the Stripper because your face doesn’t get glazed over and it always has that rubbery smell and taste because of the lack of moisture. It has no personality, but because it never gets wet, you never know how you’re doing one way or the other.
3. Andy and Opie – This is when a girl has been out all day and needs to freshen up. The smell is a little fishy, but not offensive. You can never tell a woman she smells fishy or she will freak out. I will not go down on an Andy and Opie. You can usually test it by putting a finger in and smelling it when she’s not looking. Do not, I repeat, do not put the finger in your mouth until you smell it.
4. Caviar – I’ve never had real Caviar (fish eggs), don’t have an interest. I know they are fish eggs, but they look like fish 'ish. The Caviar has the Andy and Opie fishy smell, but there is also a hint of 'ish thrown in. I don’t even want to think about what’s making this smell, which I’ve only come across once, I might add. The problem is that you don’t get the smell until she really gets turned on. I don’t know if it was a body chemistry thing, or if some diarrhea leaked down there... I think I’m going to be sick.
5. Mr. Limpet – This is an extremely fishy smell, which, believe it or not, is worse than the Caviar. It’s a more extreme variation on the Andy and Opie. This smell is very strong, but not unbearable. I’ve come across 1 of these. The problem with the Mr. Limpet, like the Caviar, you wouldn’t smell much until she’s really into it.
6. Norton – The only type you will not be able to be in the same room with. It smells exactly - I say this with no exaggeration - like a sewer. I’ve come across 2 of these, one of which I liked and had been dating for a month and just when I’m about to bury my head between two of the best ass cheeks I’ve ever seen, I smell a Norton. I’m glad she stopped me before it got weird. That was my Nam, man, that was my Nam.
