Help! I'm turning into the 40 year old virgin

[freefalling]

Week 7 Update

Famous Virgins

Isaac Newton
Lewis Carroll
J Edgar Hoover

I’m pretty sure that all the fame in the world after your dead doesn’t make up for never hooking up in life.

I dreamed about Oneitis two nights in a row. They were weird dreams where she was more successful then me and looked down upon me. In real life I have to admit it is true. I have a lot going for me, but because I have not had sex in so long I would have to say that both her and her druggy boyfriend are more successful then me.

So this weekend once again I try and work on becoming successful. I decided that I needed to try and take things to the next level and start going for phone numbers.

I also experienced my first bad reaction from a girl at a bar. When I have been approaching groups of girls I have been using a line where I have to ask them a random question. It is a pretty stupid way to open up a conversation, but for some reason it helped me get over my fear of approaching groups of girls alone so I have been doing it a lot. It was late in the night and I had drank way to much. We were walking out of the bar and I saw a group of attractive girls so I asked one of them if she liked my shirt because I had just bought it and I wasn’t really sure if I liked it (yes I know it is a horrible line). She looked really angry and said that I had already asked her that question. I guess I had talked to them already and forgotten. So I said that I forgot the answer and asked her what she had said. She said that no she wouldn’t waste her time by answering the question again. So I walked away.

It was probably a good thing. I have been ejecting from conversations at the slightest sign that something might be wrong just to avoid rejection. It is probably time that I learn to crash and burn gracefully.

The bar we went to had more guys then girls, but there were groups of girls. I made an attempt to talk to every attractive group of girls at the bar, but because of my quick ejects I ran out of girls to talk to way before the night was over. At the end of the night I did talk to a girl who was from my hometown. I handed her my phone asked her for her number and said the next time we that I was at the local bar I would give her a call and we could hang out. She typed it in and I got my first bar number. She was only a 7.4 in looks and was 34 so it wasn’t exactly the greatest of victories and I don’t even think I want to call her! Still I guess I had to start somewhere.

 

[shyguy32]

first off...sounds like your getting alot better. Don't sell yourself short though and say you've reached that plateau.

2ndly.....you say...OH she's only a 7.4....well friend sometimes you have to work with what you got and besides the 7.4 you aint got jack...what I'm saying is beggers can't be choosers.


So until you go sample some of that punani then don't be making statements like that.

 

[freefalling]

Week 8 Update

I go out Friday, but one of the guys we are out with drinks to much and gets sick in the bar! We have to leave early and the night is over before it even begin. Then Saturday comes around and I don't even go out. With Thanksgiving coming up I'm not even sure that the bar scene is going to work out this next weekend. Uh Oh. I think I have been shut down.

Three reasons why I wont call the 7.4

1. I am afraid
2. She is a half decade older then me and I imagine that she has had sex with 100's of guys and will give me VD.
3. I want to sleep with a 7.8 or higher and I feel if I sleep with a 7.4 I'll just settle for that and never get what I wanted.

That said I really don't remember how to kiss a girl anymore and if I do get with a girl I'm really into I'm going to be nervous and out of practice and it will probably **** me up like it did with Oneitis.

I tried hitting on girls who were working at the mall. I start by asking them what the employee discount is. I start with something low like 20 percent. They say no. I look surprised and say higher? 25 percent? are you telling me it is more then 25 percent? I look shocked. The two girls I tried it on really seemed to think it was funny. Then I ask them if they are looking forward to the Christmas rush. Then I give them a sarcastic smile. This also got the girls talking. In the end I just left because they both looked 19 or even worse maybe younger??? At 29 sometimes the girls behind the checkout counter use the word sir with me. I think I might be to old for the mall pickup. Still there must be some other place to pick up girls besides the clubs...

Maybe the gym? I've been working out for a little while now, but surprisingly I don't look much stronger at all!

 

[billionthloser]

THE WHITMAN NON HUAN MANIFEST

well i am watching u with jealousy as being a senior non-huan.god damn that i am too damn sensitive,rejections are dividing my ego in pieces,thus i am trying so rarely.

after 2 months of trying, u havent achieved in getting laid with a single woman,but it seems that u wont let your motivation down to the bottom.even u found an average lady u didnt take your chance,because what u think(according to my thought)is u deserve the best,you are the emperor and the girls are stupid enough in order not to mark your qualities and treasure inside.u are going to deal not with the girls,u are going to have the revenge against 'the beauty'!,who the **** they are that they dont choose u!after u conquest the beauty u are going to leave her for the beast to have the dessert after revenge meal!


we are not so handsome,and like us there are some ugly girls,what a misery that ambitious non huan and non huanas dont desire each other,because we have got to do something with the beauty,we need brilliant mind buddy!that s the good way in order to fight against fear,because years show me that as far as i hide my feelings to be cool,i collected sicky feelings and that makes me stupid,so i am going to create an emptiness in mind,all of the thoughts will be flowing like a ferrari down to my mouth!i think i wll get it,

anyway i hope u write me back even there is a huge possibility that u r going to follow a different path,u shyguy32!u too i am waiting for.....non huans have to get together!

REDPER WHITMAN

 

[Chrispy]

freefalling,

don't think down too much on this girl who is 5 yrs older - it's not that bad, is it? Sure your only drawback is she'll be more experienced - don't get trapped, and you'll have lots to learn from it. You'll come out more confident and be better able to handle the difficult to handle!

But first, give it a chance and open your mind and the possibilities are endless.

As for hitting on the younger ones, sure you're probably a bit too old but the more approaches you make to anyone, the better. You're just testing the waters, right, not going for the swim!

Keep posting on your progress...

 

[freefalling]

Week 9 Update

Tuesday:
My college friend invites me to a get together at her apartment. I think it is wrong to hang out with them. I’m to old to be hanging out on a college campus, but I am desperate and will try anything so I say yes.
I get there and it is five girls and me. There are no other guys! We are sitting around a table playing ******* I’m having a great time and at that moment I realize that I wasted my youth. Sad.
My college friend takes me into her room. I’m talking about how I want to wait a while to get married. She asks me who I would actually get married to now seeing that I don’t date anyone. With that comment my fragile confidence breaks and my feelings are hurt. I show her the phone number of the girl I got and say maybe she will marry me. She sits on my lap, this surprises me because she never has done anything more then give me a hug. I ask her how her things are going with the new guy she just met. She says her friends like me better. I end up rubbing her leg, get turned on, tell her I have to go because I have to work the next day, she hugs me, kisses me on the cheek and I leave. She is a 7.6 her score would also be lower because her personality doesn’t really mesh with mine and I don’t want to lose her as a friend.

Wednesday:
My new friends take me to a party at some guy’s house. I talk with a girl who is a 7.5 for a couple minutes. She isn’t fat, but she is overweight and I can see it in her stomach and thighs. A little while later she grabs my hand and drags me outside to keep her company while she smokes. We start to talk and she is super friendly. She says that her hands are cold and holds out her hand. I ask if she wants me to hold her hand. She says yes. I take hold of her hand so for a little bit we are just standing there holding hands. Then she moves our hands behind her back so the back of her hand is pinned up behind her middle back and her arm is bent at a right angle. So it is almost like I am restraining her even though she was the one who moved our hands. When her hand moved behind her back it caused us to become closer and suddenly I can feel her body pressing up against mine. It felt really good. With her close up like that all I can see is her face and I notice she has a pretty face. We just stand there for a little while. I don’t make a move and my friends come outside and we separate. We are headed out to a so I say that she should give me her number so the next time I am in town I can call her. She gives me her phone number.

Once we get to the bar I immediately approach a group of two girls who are easily an 8. I ask them a question, they answer it and both bolt in separate directions. A little bit later I find out that they lied about the answer. All my confidence drains away. I wonder if life isn’t playing some sort of joke on me. I could have probably hooked up with the 7.5, but when the girl is pretty enough for me to want I get instant rejection. I’m not kidding when I say that these girls ran from me.
Later on we stand at the edge of the dance floor watching people dance. I’m wondering if I really know how to dance. If you are a bad dancer no one ever tells you. There are groups of girls dancing, but the music is so loud I don’t think I could start a conversation and I don’t know what to say. I just stand there with all the other guys on the sidelines of the dance floor and do nothing.

At the end of the night outside the bar I start talking to another 8. We talk for a while and she at least restores my belief that a pretty girl will talk to me. Things seem to be going good except she keeps talking about Habitat for Humanity. I think she was trying to recruit me. Also she was with a guy who didn’t look good enough to be her boyfriend, but I didn’t want to ask for her number with my friends and the guy standing around watching us talk. I go to leave and the guy runs up to me and gives me his card. He works for Habitat for Humanity too.

So to recap:
1 girls phone number (who I will never call).
1 guys phone number (in the trash).

I’ve thought about it and I’m never going to ask a girl for her phone number again unless I plan on calling. I’m asking for her phone number to feel good about myself at her expense and this is the type of things girls have done to me all my life.

Saturday:
We go back out to the bars. Walking to the bars I bump into this girl (7.9) I have not seen since high school. She is drunk and keeps telling me how cute I have become. She also keeps hugging me and putting her arm around me. My friends want to go to the dance club so I have to go. I tell her we have to hang out sometime and ask for her number. She gives it to me.

At the dance club I freak out about my dancing again. I’m driving and without the help of alcohol all me fears are coming out. I watch guys dance to try and pick up moves and see if my way of dancing looks any different. I notice guys grinding with girls then going their separate way. I don’t think I saw one dance floor pickup that night. I’m assuming what I have read here is true and that I really have to talk to the girl first and just can’t whip out the dance floor magic to pull her. Maybe I’m wrong. I’m probably wrong.

I’m sure there isn’t anything wrong with the 34 year old. I don’t really know if it is possible for me to get a girl who is an 8. I almost feel like going for a girl who is less then an 8 would be validating that. I don’t know. Maybe it is because I’m not that attracted to her and I don’t think it is fair to her. I have no idea.

I just saw the movie Garden State. I really liked the movie. There is this scene where everyone jumps in the pool and one guy just stands on the edge afriad to jump in. That guy is me. I finally jumped in the pool, but I really don’t know how to swim and I’m just sort of thrashing around. Sadly I don’t think there will be a Natalie Portman in her underwear to comfort me like there was in the movie.

 

[silverfox]

I applaud your tenacity but I really think bootcamp would help you out. No reason you can't do both at the same time.

I am in much the same boat as you and bootcamp has helped a lot. I take care of myself, I know I am a prize but when I get talking to a really attractive girl the old insecurities can surface. I'm working on it though.

Reading what you put above I think the 7.4 and 7.5 and the 19yo are all interested in you more because you are not overtly interested in chasing them so they are trying to entice you along. You are showing mild interest but in a "I can take it or leave it fashion." I think when you meet the 8+'s in the bars your eyes probably light up or something and you telegraph a hungry puppy vibe to them like all the other guys who come up to them.

A good analogy is martial arts. When I was younger and did taekwon-do I wanted to be able to do jump spinning back kicks, aerial split kicks etc within a month or two. But you can't even attempt those until you have conditioned your body and drilled hundreds and hundreds of basic kicks.

Think of the bootcamp drills as the basic moves and conditioning. Approaching 8+'s in the bars are the advanced moves. Get your basics down and your advanced moves will be that much better.

 

[silverfox]

Sorry, I just couldn't resist this...

What do you call it when Isaac Newton takes care of business?

A stroke of genius!

Thanks very much, I'll be here all week

:cheer:

 

[So Many Ways]

I don't have much advice for you but I do have to pat you on the back and give you props for putting yourself out there. That right there is commendable. It is much better to put yourself out there than to sit and home and be depressed.

The only advice I have is DO NOT GET DOWN ON YOURSELF! You are beating yourself up way too much. You have already made progress. Your female friends obviously like you. You have women in your social circle and it's growing. You are doing great! Don't give up!!! So what if you don't get laid tomorrow? Enjoy the process.

 

[freefalling]

Week 10 Update

Friday:
I hang out with one of my old friends. He doesn’t want to go out to the bars so in the end we just go bowling. I didn’t even want to hang out with him, but it has been a while and I don’t want to blow him off just because I have become girl crazy. It did suck though because my new friends called and I missed out on going out to the bars. I tried calling the 7.9 that I met last week. My old friend knows her. I called her at 7pm. I think her cell phone was off because I got instant voicemail. I left a message saying that we were hanging out at my place and we wanted her to stop by. She text messaged me back about 15 minutes later saying that she didn’t feel good tonight, but she would really love to do it another time. I text back saying I will definitely be calling another time and I hope she feels better. She writes back you guys are the best and says to tell my old friend that she said hi. I’m taking what silverfox said to heart and I’m going to try and treat her like would treat a 7 or a 6 which involves showing zero interest and friendzoning her right off the bat. It will be interesting to see how this works out…..

Saturday:
This time around we are doing a bar crawl where we do not go to a dance club. I’ve been looking forward to this because I think that I could probably do better picking up girls just by talking to them. In the bars I found myself afraid to approach. I never even spoke to anyone new. I don’t understand how I could suddenly revert back to my old self. I guess the bottom line is if I am not drunk and if people I know are watching (audience) it causes my anxiety to go way up. Next time though, I’m going to find a way to force myself to talk to any girl who I find attractive.

Sunday:
I get invited down to my college friend’s apartment. I sit around with her and this other girl I have met a couple times watching TV. Later on she cooks me dinner. Her friend has just turned 21 so I tell her that she has to come out to the bars with my friends and me. She actually seems excited to go and I get her phone number. Nothing will happen with her though because she is waiting until marriage to have sex. So we kind off have conflicting goals in life right now.

I read an article about how women judge how good a guy is in bed by the way he walks. I ask them if they think it is true. They both say that they can tell how confident a guy is by how he walks. Large arm movements equal confidence and confident guys are probably better in bed. I ask them about my walk. They both start laughing. My college friend tells me that I don’t move my arms when I walk. I laugh it off, but then later realize that it’s true. I don’t move my arms when I walk! How could this happen??? I spent the rest of the day today practicing walking and making my arms move, but it feels so unnatural because the arms are just supposed to move on there own. Why is this happening to me?

I already considered myself stiff because my only kino move is the shoulder pat. Now I have this to contend with. One of my new friends walked up to a girl he knew at the bar and spanked her hard. She seemed to think it was funny. In my life I have never known when it is ok to do something like that or even simple touches.

I am starting to realize that the more people I add to my social circle the more enjoyable my life becomes, I become more interesting, and it seems to make me more attractive to women.

 

[So Many Ways]

Hey man, change your username. You're not freefalling no more, you are rising.

 

[freefalling]

Week 11 Update

When I walk I make sure to move my arms in big movements, but if something distracts me my arms stop moving and I start walking like a robot again.

I read about half of player Player_Supreme’s posts. I was shocked to find out this guy was 44. Also I loved his story about the Evil Italian who ran bad game (pic below).

From what I understand he will make eye contact with a girl who is watching him. He stares her down until she looks away, then walks up to her at the bar grabs her hand and without a word take her to the dance floor. The whole concept seems light years ahead of where I am.

I called the girl who is planning to be a virgin until marriage, to ask her if she wanted to come out drinking with my new friends, but she said she was hanging out with her girl friends instead. I thought you forgot about me buddy, she said. I think I called her too late at night (7pm). The semester is over next week and she lives out of town so she is pretty much out of the picture for a little while.

This week was going to be the week that I approached every girl I saw at the bars …

I only went out on Saturday and was only actually at the bar for two hours. There was more guys then girls in the bar, but there were definitely girls who could be approached.

For the first part of the night there was a loud band. I think I need miracle ear or something because there are certain times in the club where it seems like everyone can hear each other and I can’t hear a thing. To make matters worse my voice doesn’t seem to carry so everyone can hear each other, but when I talk I have to repeat it and yell. I’m yelling and everyone else seems to be just talking. How can I make my voice carry in these situations?

Taking a hint from Player_Supreme, every so often I will looks at girls to see if they are making eye contact with me, it’s hard to tell. One girl is looking at me I look back at her and she looks away. Was she checking me out? Maybe the only reason she looked was because I walked into her line of sight. Do I even have the looks to make girls check me out over other guys in the club? I guess I will have to find out.

For the final half hour I just watched some girl dance on a stage. If she looked at me I looked away very quickly and pretended not to be looking at her. At the end of the night she jumps off the stage and is gone.

I didn’t really drink because I was driving and once again it was painfully clear that the sober me is going to have to play catch-up to the drunk me when it comes to fear of approaching girls.

At one point in the night some girl who was talking to other girls kept rubbing her back up against my back. Then she started rubbing her ass against my ass. I stepped over a little bit and she started rubbing up against my back again. Then she was gone. To me this type of thing is huge, because I never purposely touch someone like that however I am finding everyone does that sort of thing and it is no big deal. Some girl in our group with her boyfriend standing right behind her rubbed her face up against mine to hear what I was saying then she smacked my ass. To me those are all big things, but to her it meant nothing.

I’ve always thought that I was the type of guy who didn’t like touching other people, but I think the truth is that I just don’t know how to touch other people. So maybe I’ll try and become one of those touchy feely guys who I have always hated and been secretly jealous of at the same time.

I pretty much checked out this week so next week will have to be the week that I approach every pretty girl.

 

[Evan_M]

Re: Week 8 Update

3. I want to sleep with a 7.8 or higher and I feel if I sleep with a 7.4 I'll just settle for that and never get what I wanted.
[/B]

What's your real deal, dude? If you can't sleep with a woman that is .4 off of your scale then you have issues yourself. This is not a girl you're going to marry, have kids and pass your genes off to world with. At least let's hope that you're not planning on having kids.

 

[Alicorn]

Re: Week 7 Update

Originally posted by freefalling
Famous Virgins

Isaac Newton
Lewis Carroll
J Edgar Hoover

I’m pretty sure that all the fame in the world after your dead doesn’t make up for never hooking up in life.

That depends on your values.

If I could do something great: cure for cancer, first man on Mars, create the Theory of Everything, invent the pet-rock... I'd take that over sex.

 

[ElChoclo]

There comes a point where kind encouragement gives way to annoyance, and this fellows fixation on allocating numbers to women is, in my respectful view, irritating. A real numbers man.

 

[Tazman]

Freefalling, you better go after the chicks that are into you so you can get into the groove of things, you're going to regret it if you don't. You sound a little like me in that you want to get some practice so you can confidently approach the girls you really want and succeed. I've passed up a few opportunites with "lesser" girls because of my ego, but I'm still a 26 y/o virgin, so can I really afford to be that picky? Hell no!

The girls I've distanced myself from are having sex with guys and enjoying the company of others while I'm sitting at home "fantasizing" about the HB I'll never get (atleast with my current attitude). Try to be more forgiving of people and see past supericial things that aren't really a huge deal. Once you have a game plan (obtained through "experience") you'll feel much better about yourself and your abilities. Give the 7s a chance, it might surprise you. Damn, I WISH I had a girl I considered a 7 express an interest in me.

 

[freefalling]

Week 12 Update

Friday:
I go out to a bar with my old friends. I decide to dress down to match them because I’m getting a strong vibe that they think I have sold out and become shallow. I wore a blue sweatshirt and blue jeans. The sweatshirt was really close to my jeans in color so I felt like I looked like a member of the Blueman group.

I only talked to one girl. I noticed a hot bartender with big boobs and a low cut shirt. She was literally jumping up and down to the music. I went up to her and bought a beer. Then I ask her if jumping up and down is part of her sales tactic. She smiles and says it works doesn’t it? I say yes it does. Then I notice that one of my friends had walked up to the bar with me. I listen to him as he tells her that I really need a girlfriend and does she have any single friends that she could set me up with? The bartender says that all her friends are married. As we walk away he tells me that my jumping up and down line was insulting and that I am shooting myself in the foot with some of the stuff I say to girls.

Saturday:
I go clubbing with my new friends. We end up in an area with a loud band again. I solved part of my problem where no one could hear me. This must be left over from my never make eye contact days. I would lean in to tell someone something, but I would turn my head away to avoid close eye contact. Now I just shout directly into their ear and it seems to work better.

I try and see if girls are looking at me so I can try Player_Supreme’s method. I don’t think I’m going to focus on that anymore because it is demoralizing. I look at some girls and the moment we make eye contact they look away. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me. There was this one girl who looked angry. I looked over her way and she was looking at me. I tried to stare her down, but she looked at me so long I panicked and looked away.

Around this point I’ve approached no one and decide to try my luck drunk. My friends and I do a car bomb. A girl who is ordering drinks near us asks us what we are drinking and we start talking to her. Her friend isn’t saying anything and looking away. I decide that I need to “disarm her” so she doesn’t take her friend away. I ask her a question; she is there with her boyfriend, thinks I’m hitting on her, grabs her friend and instantly leaves. No more disarming for me! Drinking strange drinks seems to be a good way to talk to girls without even approaching.

Three shots later I am on the dance floor. Where we are standing there just doesn’t seem to be any groups of girls dancing or even standing by the dance floor. The whole scene was very guy heavy.

I watch other guys dance to see if I can pick up any new dance moves. Everyone seems to dance the same way as I do. Late at night I practice dancing to music I must look like an idiot, but I think it worked.

I notice a group of two girls near us (they are both about a 8) dancing with a guy. I can’t figure out which girl the guy is with because he isn’t close dancing with either one. Then the guy walks away and another really sleazy looking dude starts trying to grind with one of them. The girls grab onto each other and go into some sort of protective hug so the guy can’t dance with them and he leaves. I step over and say to one of the girls and say, you didn’t want to dance with that guy? Then I smile. She says that she wants to dance, she just doesn’t want some guy to grab her junk. I laugh. Rather then say anything else or dance with them I run away and go to the bathroom. When I get back the first guy has come back and is dancing with them again.

I’m finding that when I ask girls generic questions (can I ask your opinion on something? etc) they have a strong negative response to them. I could see it on their faces when I would ask them. The only good thing about generic questions was that they got me talking to the girls. On the other hand if I ask a girl a question that could only apply to her (you didn’t want to dance with that guy? Why do you have a sticker on your ass? etc) the girls seem really friendly and cool with me asking the question. So I’m going to try and use this as my new way to start conversations.

Rating girls on a scale of 1 to 10 is here to stay. It’s a quick and easy way to let you know how attracted I am to the girl and lets face it what works on a 7 does not work on a 10.
Here is the scale:
6 – Can’t have sex without the assistance of alcohol.
7 – I could have sober sex, but something is wrong with the girl (she is chubby etc)
8 – This girl has a pretty face and a nice body.
9 – This girl has a perfect face and perfect body.
10 – Unattainable (movie stars etc)
For now, I only want to hook up with a girl who is 8 or higher (7.8 or higher if I am smashed).

When I got kicked to the curb by Oneitis (who is still on my mind even though it has been three months) things looked hopeless. I had not met a new girl in years and I had no idea how it could happen. This is what I really want, to be able to meet new girls and have relationships with them. Having sex with the 7’s reminds me of settling and in the end I still will not know how to get a new girl.

So once again it was not the break out weekend I was shooting for, but the weekend after Christmas I’ll have to go for it again.

 

[Tazman]

Then I notice that one of my friends had walked up to the bar with me. I listen to him as he tells her that I really need a girlfriend and does she have any single friends that she could set me up with? The bartender says that all her friends are married. As we walk away he tells me that my jumping up and down line was insulting and that I am shooting myself in the foot with some of the stuff I say to girls.

Your friend didn't help you with what he said to her, in fact it made you look like a chump. Don't let anybody tell a girl that you need a girlfriend and ask for a hook up on your behalf. Also, I don't think the bartender took your comment as an insult, she probably didn't really care either way. Your efforts are worth a pat on the back, but I think you're expecting too much.

How are you going to get girls you describe as 8's+ if you're having such a rough time just speaking? That's why I think you should aim lower so you can get some much needed practice. Going to bars and clubs means you've got to compete with guys who may not always succeed, but probably have more experience and are more advanced in their approaches. It's a tough crowd for a guy lacking in social skills.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Tazman
Freefalling, you better go after the chicks that are into you so you can get into the groove of things
...
You sound a little like me in that you want to get some practice so you can confidently approach the girls you really want and succeed.

Exactly!

freefalling,

When you just hang out with some fvckable chicks, you will have a little bit more confidence. If you hang out with a chick alone you will even better. She doesn't have to be your gf and you don't need to aim to fvck her. Aim to hang out with her a bit, so it will boost your confidence and it'll be easier for you to talk to girls.

 

[freefalling]

Week 13 Update (Return of Oneitis)

How am I going to get the 8+ girls indeed? Last week I was watching these two pretty girls drink beer in their car before we went into the club. They were probably 23. At 23 I was afraid to go into the city and here they are unafraid and getting drunk in a parking lot. If they are not better then me, they at least seem so different from me like we are coming from a different place and could never connect. One of these days I’m going to get rejected by a girl like this and I’m going to run away like a dog with my tail between my legs. Messing around with a 7 wont help my confidence because they don’t even seem the same to me. I dont' want to do it. I feel like I’m using a girl, if the whole point of seeing her is to use her for practice until someone better comes along.

Oneitis emailed me. She wanted to go out for dinner. We had not hung out for three months. I wrote back and said I was busy. Then I had regrets. What if she dumped her boyfriend and was writing back because she wanted to sleep with me? After all I wasted years of my life waiting for her it would be a shame to blow it now. She writes me back and asks me to go out with her the next day. I agree.

We go out and I find out she still has the same boyfriend. She is going on vacation this summer and I mention that she might me a nice guy on vacation. She says that will never happen because she has a boyfriend. So she is planning to be with this guy forever or at least wants me to think that. Either way it is bad.

She goes on to tell me that the guy has no job, smokes pot all day long and owes her money. It’s painful to hear her say that. I always took pride in being a good guy and now I feel like I’m going to pay for it. All the *******s had the right idea and will get ***** while I die alone. Deciding to hang out with her shows me that I don’t believe I will do better then her and to top it off I have no shot with her. I made plans with her to hang out at a Karaoke bar after New Years with mutual friends.

My new friends invite me out to a Christmas party at some guy’s house on Wednesday. There only appears to be one single girl in the place. I think she is really hot and at least an 8.

At first I hang back and do nothing. I hate the idea of competing with other guys, but finally decide to go for it. I jump in. At first there are two other guys. Then there is just one other guy and me talking. I keep a super positive attitude and keep shoulder touching her every time she says anything remotely funny (my only kino move). Then I notice that she keeps touching the other guy, but not me! Wonderful. Things seem hopeless, but I keep at it. Lucky for me the other guy is really drunk and not really with it. Then she leaves both of us and ends up talking to another guy. I keep my eye on them and when the other guy walks away I walk by her and start talking again.

I ask her what TV shows she is into. She says she watches Friends reruns all the time. I tell her I love Friends and we start talking about it. At this moment her attitude seems to change. We are making strong eye contact and she is touching my shoulder now. There is loud music and she keeps leaning in and rubbing her face against mine so she can hear better. I ask her what bars she goes to. I ask her if she has ever been to the Karaoke bar that I am going to with Oneitis. She says no. I ask her if she would like to come out. She says she would. I am about to ask for her number, but then I wonder if she is just being polite, so I ask her again. Are you sure you want to come? She says she would. So I get her number.

I get called away by my friends. When I look back she is gone. Later on I find out that she went upstairs and got sick after she gave me my number. I never saw her again. I guess she drank too much. So I wont be calling her, she probably doesn’t even remember giving me her phone number.

I’ve been invited to leave town with my new friends next week. This will be the first time I’ve every gone anywhere for new years. So I will be hunting the vacation girl. You know this girl. She doesn’t believe anything counts when she leaves her zip code. Sure I probably don’t have the social skills to pull it off, but it should still be a good time.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Years!