Girls that genuenly want a nice guy?

[DJ4Real]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
1. she never said not to disagree with her
2. she never said to do sweet things everyday
3. she never said not to make fun of her
4. she never said to apologize for everything u do wrong....but if your wrong..you apologize


see what happens?


then id be too nice and needy...

but a jerk is an *******

jerks treat people like ****
jerks hit women
jerks lie to women....


jerks end up with *****s or women with emotional issues
or they turn a good girl into a women with emotional issues.

just be Genuine I make fun of my women everyday...she doesnt consider me a jerk..a jerk would say hurtful things..a FUNNY guy says funny things

She said NICE MEN ARE IDEAL......nice is all of those things...agreeable, sweet, generous, doesn't like to be mean or joke...well because it's just not nice to be mean or make fun of women....we all know what nice means....nice means to be polite....there is no such thing as making a "polite" joke about someone.....teasing someone is not something a really nice guy would do.

I even backed myself up in one of my posts...I said " a nice jerk knows how to joke around and make it feel ok"...in essence means that he isn't being a %100 jerk...

I don't care if you agree with Wyld....you can take her advice about this. But if you want your "nice" card...you'd better stop making fun of your girlfriend.

 

[DJ4Real]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
He's only agreeing with me because he knows I'm right. Disagreeing with me just because I'm a woman or for the sake of being disagreeable is stupid. It doesn't make someone more attractive. It just makes them look like an idiot.

What's wrong with being a nice person? Treating others with respect and common courtesy unless they don't treat you the same way is perfectly acceptable and a desirable trait to have. Being rude, obnoxious and miserable to people without just cause is stupid and makes you look like an idiot.

Making fun of people is mean. If you and the person are playfully teasing each other once in awhile, that's one thing. However, just making fun of people for no reason tends to hurt people's feelings. It might seem funny to you, but it's rarely funny to the target of your "fun".

If you are wrong you should apologize. You should not apologize if you aren't wrong. You never should apologize for how you feel...you apologize for things you do and say that harm others.

You only disagree if you have reason to disagree. Doing that needlessly is bringin unnecessary drama into your life and relationship.

It's nice to do little things that show you appreciate your partner from time to time as long as you don't smother them...because that is being too needy and clingy.

You can be nice without being clingy and pathetic AND without being a jerk. You do that by respecting yourself AND the person you are with. A pathetic clingy guy only respects the woman. The jerk only respects himself. A truly nice man respects both.

You are being funny....now where did I say that a "nice jerk" disrespects women....and when did I say because you were a woman that your advice wasn't valid....don't twist my words....sure you can be nice without being clingy....but being "nice" all the time you are around the person is BAD....no change?....sounds like a perfect relationship.....

Like I said...go find that nice man. So you can get the a$$ kissing of your life....

Good luck

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by DJ4Real
We aren't the ones that make it complicated by ourselves. Every women say they want this nice guy.....as soon as they see this nice guy.....he becomes her bestfriend.

You said it about 20 times...you like nice men..so that's just that....go find a nice guy with no expectations....I mean a guy that doesn't expect anything....no sex, no date, no nothing...

Yes, you are making it complicated because you are lying to yourselves about what "nice guy" means.

No guy wants to describe himself as a sneaky, lying, phony guy who places secret expectations on all he does and then feels betrayed when someone doesn't play his manipulative game as he thinks they all owe him to play. That's what you are talking about...and there's nothing nice about people like that.

Women DO want nice guys...but they want the genuinely nice guys...not the type of guy you are talking about.

Men have got to STOP insisitng that women are lying about what they want. They aren't lying. You guys are lying to yourselves. Instead of just admitting that these men are insecure, lack confidence and feel like the only way people will like them is if they trick them into it you're blaming women. It's not the women who are not telling the truth about what they want. It's the insecure men who refuse to own up to the fact that they aren't actually "nice guys" that makes it so damn complicated.

And if a guy tells me he wants to be my friend and doesn't show any romantic interest at all because he's too insecure and afraid to then I'm going to see him as a friend only. If a guy doesn't make his intentions clear then it's his own damn fault his only date is with his hand.

 

[DJ4Real]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Yes, you are making it complicated because you are lying to yourselves about what "nice guy" means.

No guy wants to describe himself as a sneaky, lying, phony guy who places secret expectations on all he does and then feels betrayed when someone doesn't play his manipulative game as he thinks they all owe him to play. That's what you are talking about...and there's nothing nice about people like that.

Women DO want nice guys...but they want the genuinely nice guys...not the type of guy you are talking about.

Men have got to STOP insisitng that women are lying about what they want. They aren't lying. You guys are lying to yourselves. Instead of just admitting that these men are insecure, lack confidence and feel like the only way people will like them is if they trick them into it you're blaming women. It's not the women who are not telling the truth about what they want. It's the insecure men who refuse to own up to the fact that they aren't actually "nice guys" that makes it so damn complicated.

And if a guy tells me he wants to be my friend and doesn't show any romantic interest at all because he's too insecure and afraid to then I'm going to see him as a friend only. If a guy doesn't make his intentions clear then it's his own damn fault his only date is with his hand.

See, you are biased in your agruments..you're pointing you finger at men awful hard....and no, it's not just our fault for anything.....you want a guy who has nice IN HIM...but you don't want a NICE GUY.....women play just as many games as we do....lying about just wanting a nice guy...haha...you know damn well you don't just want a nice guy. There is more the puzzle than just being nice.... Trick? what trick? how am I tricking women by doing the right things!....women are just as manipulative as men....women just cover it up more than men do...that's all....stop making women sound like some innocent angels...

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by DJ4Real
You are being funny....now where did I say that a "nice jerk" disrespects women....and when did I say because you were a woman that your advice wasn't valid....don't twist my words....sure you can be nice without being clingy....but being "nice" all the time you are around the person is BAD....no change?....sounds like a perfect relationship.....

Like I said...go find that nice man. So you can get the a$$ kissing of your life....

Good luck

There is no such thing as a "nice jerk". A person can't be both.

And again...if you would stop referring to insecure men who try to manipulate people and place strings and expectations on the things they do (phony niceness) you might just understand what I'm saying.

You are labelling phony men as nice guys, and they aren't nice guys at all. When I say "nice guy" I am referring to a man who respects both himself and others and treats people as he would like to be treated. He is honest when he wants to date a woman and if he does a favor for someone it's not done with strings and expectations attached. Women want nice guys. They don't want phony insecure guys who lie and pretend in an attempt to manipulate them.

 

[frivolousz21]

But if you want your "nice" card...you'd better stop making fun of your girlfriend.

why? I make fun of my friends..they laugh, they make fun of me? are we jerks? no we are teasing.

hell my grandma makes fun of me sometimes in front of my gf..is she mean? no..she is teasing me...

I make fun of my 7 yr old sister and she gets upset or acts like it..and I a jerk? no..im showing her I love her in my way.



being called a nice man is a great thing..Id rather be that then anything negative

 

[DJ4Real]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
There is no such thing as a "nice jerk". A person can't be both.

And again...if you would stop referring to insecure men who try to manipulate people and place strings and expectations on the things they do (phony niceness) you might just understand what I'm saying.

You are labelling phony men as nice guys, and they aren't nice guys at all. When I say "nice guy" I am referring to a man who respects both himself and others and treats people as he would like to be treated. He is honest when he wants to date a woman and if he does a favor for someone it's not done with strings and expectations attached. Women want nice guys. They don't want phony insecure guys who lie and pretend in an attempt to manipulate them.

Women are just as manipulative as men.....if you can't accept that dating is a game that most be played...then no one can help you....and yes...there is a such thing as a nice person with a jerk side to them (nice jerk)......women manipulate men who don't know any better into doing what they want....and then they leave them...I don't see you talking about manipulative women...nope...you point at men who know how to manipulate back.....and not all men lie to manipulate....some men do...but on here....we simply adjust our "nice" attitudes to "manipulate" or whatever you want to call it....whatever it is, it attacts women.

 

[DJ4Real]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
why? I make fun of my friends..they laugh, they make fun of me? are we jerks? no we are teasing.

hell my grandma makes fun of me sometimes in front of my gf..is she mean? no..she is teasing me...

I make fun of my 7 yr old sister and she gets upset or acts like it..and I a jerk? no..im showing her I love her in my way.



being called a nice man is a great thing..Id rather be that then anything negative

Teasing isn't a "nice" thing to do though. Doesn't make you mean....or a jerk.....it means that you are having FUN.....which a nice guy just doesn't believe in it all that teasing for fun much....

"I make fun of my 7 yr old sister and she gets upset or acts like it..and I a jerk? no..im showing her I love her in my way."

that quote should put you on my side!! technically, yes, you are being a jerk to your sister.....but you're being nice about it....it's for FUN......you are showing love for her....without being a complete nice guy to her about family love....

A nice jerk shows love in a different way than a nice guy.

 

[frivolousz21]

can we just say Man because I know a lot of jerks and people dont want to be around them..they are arseholes.


women do want a nice man
they dont want nice pyssy man

 

[DJ4Real]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
can we just say Man because I know a lot of jerks and people dont want to be around them..they are arseholes.


women do want a nice man
they dont want nice pyssy man

women do want a nice man

A man with nice in him.

 

[frivolousz21]

women do want a nice man

I have to say..that I havent been nice 100 percent of the time..Ive said a few mean things to her..on ACCIDENT AS IN IT SLIPPED.

but it didnt damage us...it makes her want to make me happier or or whatever..but I dont think its a proper way to be

 

[DJ4Real]

You've got the woman, right? therefore you're doing the right things.....

Saying a few shocking things every now and then isn't a bad thing, you know?

 

[comic_relief]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
What is "nice" about allowing someone to believe you are their friend only to turn your back on them when they don't want a romantic relationship with you? You LIED to them. You never told them you wanted a romantic relationship. They were your friend, but you weren't theirs. You betrayed them, not the other way around.

This is a funny situation because I got girls doing this to me now instead of the other way around. Isn't it funny how being a "nice 'jerk' " pays off.

 

[frivolousz21]

Saying a few shocking things every now and then isn't a bad thing, you know?

recently I said she needed to stop something she did..and I said it doenst change you can find someone else.

and I didnt mean it..I was like OH SHYT! when i said it.

she cried...I felt bad and apologized...so I guess that is the jerk in me...but i never meant for that to come out

 

[DJ4Real]

See a nice guy would have overreacted....but you did the right thing....you observed the problem and you acted accordingly....you did the right thing.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by comic_relief
This is a funny situation because I got girls doing this to me now instead of the other way around. Isn't it funny how being a "nice 'jerk' " pays off.

"nice jerk" isn't a good term. There is no such thing. No one should ever try to become a jerk or call themselves one unless they really are a complete and total ass. That's what a jerk is.

You guys should try to become confident, secure good men...and just as nice as you want to be. Nice isn't really the pathetic neediness the men here try to label it as being. It's just a word you guys use to try to make guys like that sound far better than what they really are. It's easier to do that than to admit that those guys aren't really nice at all. A lot can be said for honesty...and there's not enough of that here much of the time.

 

[comic_relief]

alright, what I see here is a problem with the term nice guy. So do this right now, define nice guy, jerk, and "Man (nice jerk)"

Friv, wyld, and DJ4Real. Go.

 

[frivolousz21]

nice guy-
clingy
needy
low self steem

man- strong
confident

jerk-pushy
****y
mean


thats a simple way of it

 

[DJ4Real]

(Nice Guy)

Clingy and Needy
Is "nice"
Non Challenging
"Yes" man
lacks confidence and independence

(Jerk)
-Over manipulative
-****y
-Independent
-Selfish
-"unavailable"
-honest
-insecure

Nice Jerk (good guy)
- Independent
- self controlled
- non clingy
- well balanced
- confident
- strong
- honest
- knows how to say no without guilt

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by comic_relief
alright, what I see here is a problem with the term nice guy. So do this right now, define nice guy, jerk, and "Man (nice jerk)"

Friv, wyld, and DJ4Real. Go.

Man and nice guy are the same thing: Confident and secure, always up front and honest about his intentions, pleasant to be around, polite, good manners, shows respect for himself and others. Attractive...no need to avoid.

Phony "nice guy": AFC who turns his frustration inward...clingy, needy, insecure, lacking confidence, feels he needs to "trick" women to make them like him. Respects others but not himself. Unattractive...to be avoided.

jerk...lies, cheats, abusive...AFC who turns his frustration towards others instead of inward. Doesn't respect others. Unattractive...to be avoided.