miguel0849
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- Mar 12, 2007
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I think Hollywood and, by extension, our dating culture misleads many men about how to properly court women. Many men are taught to be overly polite and overly agreeable, which makes them overly unattractive to most women. We’re also taught to focus our affections on one target, as countless romantic movie scripts involve couples who are “meant to be.” In actuality, women are weirded out by obsessive men and are turned off by guys who act like their salves.
If you look at this from an evolutionary standpoint, it starts to make sense. At a base level, females are attracted to the alpha male, the male who is the strongest and most confident, and thus has the best genes. These are the qualities women look for in the initial stages of a courtship. Confidence, ****iness and self-assurance.
They show a woman that the man is superior to his peers. These aren’t necessarily jerkish qualities, but often men who are emotionally detached and sel-centered (in a word, jerks) do have these qualities. In addition, women are attracted to men who don’t hide from their sexuality and their desire to mate, and often “nice guys” will try to conceal these qualities because they think that displaying sexual interest is somehow rude.
Popular culture has taught men to deny their evolutionary impulse to aggressively pursue a wide range of women, and to make themselves a servant to just one. No wonder there are so many unhappy single men out there.
I used to be a self-described “nice guy.” Pretty much all my adult life, I focused my affections on one woman. I bought her flowers, took her out, gave her gifts, encouraged her to express her emotions and agreed with her opinions.
I ended up being laid to cheated on and humiliated. She crushed me emotionally. In the aftermath of this, I resolved to change my approach to women and life. I started working out more and started to make a life for myself independent of women. I realized that I had placed too much of my emotional happiness in the hands of that one woman. It made me too vulnerable. I needed the sort of emotional and social stability that didn’t depend on her or on any other person. I needed to provide that for myself.
“I’m not going to become a “jerk” per se. I simply going to adopt the qualities that women found attractive in jerks, which include self-confidence, a degree of ****iness, a sense of humor, passion and emotional independence. I still retained all my good “nice guy” qualities as well, which include intelligence and the ability to be affectionate and giving.
With that said I would like some feed back from women. Is this some what correct or completely False. On what women want in a man.
If you look at this from an evolutionary standpoint, it starts to make sense. At a base level, females are attracted to the alpha male, the male who is the strongest and most confident, and thus has the best genes. These are the qualities women look for in the initial stages of a courtship. Confidence, ****iness and self-assurance.
They show a woman that the man is superior to his peers. These aren’t necessarily jerkish qualities, but often men who are emotionally detached and sel-centered (in a word, jerks) do have these qualities. In addition, women are attracted to men who don’t hide from their sexuality and their desire to mate, and often “nice guys” will try to conceal these qualities because they think that displaying sexual interest is somehow rude.
Popular culture has taught men to deny their evolutionary impulse to aggressively pursue a wide range of women, and to make themselves a servant to just one. No wonder there are so many unhappy single men out there.
I used to be a self-described “nice guy.” Pretty much all my adult life, I focused my affections on one woman. I bought her flowers, took her out, gave her gifts, encouraged her to express her emotions and agreed with her opinions.
I ended up being laid to cheated on and humiliated. She crushed me emotionally. In the aftermath of this, I resolved to change my approach to women and life. I started working out more and started to make a life for myself independent of women. I realized that I had placed too much of my emotional happiness in the hands of that one woman. It made me too vulnerable. I needed the sort of emotional and social stability that didn’t depend on her or on any other person. I needed to provide that for myself.
“I’m not going to become a “jerk” per se. I simply going to adopt the qualities that women found attractive in jerks, which include self-confidence, a degree of ****iness, a sense of humor, passion and emotional independence. I still retained all my good “nice guy” qualities as well, which include intelligence and the ability to be affectionate and giving.
With that said I would like some feed back from women. Is this some what correct or completely False. On what women want in a man.
