Girlfriend acting stange

[sasffl]

What kind of communicating occurred during this week?

She would call me at least once a day to let me know how she was doing, she caught the flu from me and got it much worse, but i dont htink that has anyhthing to do with it.

Anyway, we both agreed to talk tomorrow night. I would drive over there but i think that would look pretty desperate. Im gonna try to have her come to my place.

What questions should i ask her?

 

[LovelyLady]

What questions should i ask her?

hmmm... what do yopu WANT to ask her?

 

[WC2]

She would call me at least once a day to let me know how she was doing, she caught the flu from me and got it much worse, but i dont htink that has anyhthing to do with it.

Anyway, we both agreed to talk tomorrow night. I would drive over there but i think that would look pretty desperate. Im gonna try to have her come to my place.

What questions should i ask her?

I restrained myself from responding to this thread because I thought KX clearly laid out what was going on here..

I don't think you get the point.

This relationship is over.

Women love to speak with words instead of actions. And you're believing it.

When she said things are being taken too fast, it means she's not into you that much and she wants to break it off. 100% no doubt about it. I don't care whatever BS she gives you about being disrespected in other relationships, it's just her way of rationalizing that its OK for her to breakup with you. (Which will happen without a doubt BTW)

Words don't mean sh!t when it comes to women. Women work on actions. If she really liked you, she'd ACT upon it by coming to your place, sexing you up, whatever.

She doesn't want to, so she's using words to make it seem like she WILL, just to keep you around juts in case.

And..

How many times do we say it here? WOMEN WORK ON EMOTIONS, NOT LOGIC.

There is nothing that you can say to her right now that WILL MAKE HER ATTRACTED TO YOU AGAIN.

She'd much rather have some guy come over and ravage her than 'talk' about serious things like this.

The only way she's going to become attracted to you is if you show her that you're not this emotionally attached to her (which you are).

You need to break things off with her, tell her that it's not working. Move on to other things. She will come back most likely.

This has been said thousands of times on this forum.. learn by it. Read the threads on ex's and breaking up. Understand that all women use the same scheme to breakup with their men. Yours is no different from the others--it's actually a textbook breakup.

Drop her before she drops you on your nuts.

 

[sasffl]

So we finally talked today, and I think some of your predictions were wrong but heres what happened.

I decided to go into it and read her body language then decide whether to take preemptive action. I had her christmas presents from awhile ago that we hadnt exchanged yet all ready in a bag to make it look as thought this might be goodbye.

She came in all happy and i gave her her presents and she really liked them, then i got serious and was like look whats been going on. She told me she has been really depressed and that her job is horrible and shes trying to find a new one. She started saying she didnt know if she could handle a relationship right now being so depressed and that she was scared we were suddenly so serious just after she ended a 3 month relationship.

From this i was like ok obviously its coming, so i better make the first move and i tell her look i think your right im not sure its best for us to be together if you really dont wanna try and make this work. And i said i dunno if you want space or a break or what but im really not gonna put up with that. She

She started crying saying that the past two weeks have been awful for her.
and that she had been giving me the run around because she wanted to delay this talk past the weekend.
I didn't fall for the crying trap, as you all said here, and continued on talking. I said if you dont think u can commit to this than maybe we should end this.

Then i was like what do you want to do? and she said she didnt know and asked what i wanted to do, and i told her if she really was depressed that i understood cuzi have been there before and that we could continue to try this and that i would do everything i could to support her. And she said yeah thats what I want to do too. So then she stopped crying and we talked a little bit more and she said she would try to be less flakey and talk to me more but she said she has always had probs communicating. I then asked if she had been cheating on me and she said no but that she saw her ex bf( which she already told me) when she was out of town at her old school and they talked and it freaked her out that their 3 year relationship ended and she was suddenly in another one and thats why she had been acting weird. But she told me they didnt do anything.

Whether or not they did i have no way of knowing, but i do know shes never gonna see him again cuz its so far away. Anyway after all that we had sex. And she told me she loved me and that she was sorry to put me through this. We hung out a little longer then she left and i went to class. Got a text from her saying "Im happy we're ok "

I'm still skeptical about this whole thing, I gave her many chances to end it, and if she did cheat on me i have to give her the benefit of the doubt cuz i have no evidence.

Anyway i have already lined up some other girls because i dont really know which way this is gonna go since shes so emotionally unstable. She applying for new jobs and hopefully she'll get one.

I do really believe her which is why i went light on her but from now on im gonna be much more mysterious and not as available as i was before. She wants to go to this bar with me tomorrow night and out fridasy andsat night.

Let me know what you guys think.

 

[Daniel1099]

this just proves that people on this board do not know the full extent of the situation.
you FELT that what was going on was legit, she was getting stressed out...she wasnt cheating...

you did the right thing.

 

[Jitterbug]

this just proves that people on this board do not know the full extent of the situation.
you FELT that what was going on was legit, she was getting stressed out...she wasnt cheating...

Yeah, because obviously she would tell him the truth and nothing but the truth, right?

sasffl, she might've not told you the whole story, but one thing she definitely did not lie to you: she isn't ready to be an exclusive, committed LTR. Her life is in a sh!thole right now and she won't be adding anything of value (minus the sex perhaps, but you can get that elsewhere easily) to your life while YOU will be the tampon to soak up the mess in hers.

I've dated a few chicks after they exited a few years long LTR and weren't quite over their ex yet. They were good for a few fvcks, but for an exclusive LTR, they weren't qualified.

I think you handled it well. Watch now that she'd try to suck you in with sex and lots & lots of attention, and as soon as you get complacent, the same drama will start again. Don't get emotionally attached to this one and keep your options open. You're doing the right things.

 

[DJDamage]

this just proves that people on this board do not know the full extent of the situation.
you FELT that what was going on was legit, she was getting stressed out...she wasnt cheating...

This statment proves why some women are able to walk all over guys who believe everything that comes out of their mouths.

Women hate confrontations. Sometimes when their backs are up against the wall they will try to disarm their men by agreeing with them just so they could get out of it.

Don't judge her by a single day of act, judge her in the next few weeks and upcoming months because that right there will tell you her true nature.

She told me she has been really depressed and that her job is horrible and shes trying to find a new one. She started saying she didnt know if she could handle a relationship right now being so depressed and that she was scared we were suddenly so serious just after she ended a 3 month relationship.

Reading between the lines, this is what her true feelings are:

1) She isn't really depressed. Depressed women tend leech on to the men whom they love because it offers a good emotional distraction.

2) She said she didn't know if she could handle a relationship right now. If there one thing women are certain about are relationships, and whether they want to be with that guy or not. She is lieing to you, I suspect she just doesn't have the guts to break it off right now and maybe waiting for you do so and become "the bad guy" or waiting for a BBD (bigger better deal aka another guy) to come along.

3) She has still feeling for the ex. Sounds to me that she wasn't looking for anything serious but still going about on her "rebound phase" and instead of chucking you aside, she decided to prolong it.

 

[eaglez1177]

Bro just fvcking DUMP this girl already. Grow a pair of balls and kick her sorry ass to the curb.

 

[cordoncordon]

I think you need to look at the fact that before she saw her ex, things seemed well, and that all of this drama came after she came back and had seen him.

To me that can't be a coincidence.

As far as her being depressed and stressed about her job...I guess its possible, but I should tell you that I was pretty heavily involved with a girl about 4 years ago, even talked about marriage, and then she too started saying she was stressed out about her job, and that she was getting more and more depressed about things in general. So we took a break to let her sort things out. Within 2 weeks she was telling me about this guy at work that she was all giddy over, and we never did get back together. We have stayed in friendly contact (and thats fine Im well over her and have been with my gf now for 3.5 years) and she has been in various relationships since our breaKUP, never going more that a week without a new bf. In a nutshell, she wasnt depressed, she wasnt upset over her job. She just wanted out of the relationship and that was her way of doing it.

I would be VERY wary about what took place when she saw her ex.

 

[eaglez1177]

I think you need to look at the fact that before she saw her ex, things seemed well, and that all of this drama came after she came back and had seen him.

To me that can't be a coincidence.

As far as her being depressed and stressed about her job...I guess its possible, but I should tell you that I was pretty heavily involved with a girl about 4 years ago, even talked about marriage, and then she too started saying she was stressed out about her job, and that she was getting more and more depressed about things in general. So we took a break to let her sort things out. Within 2 weeks she was telling me about this guy at work that she was all giddy over, and we never did get back together. We have stayed in friendly contact (and thats fine Im well over her and have been with my gf now for 3.5 years) and she has been in various relationships since our breaKUP, never going more that a week without a new bf. In a nutshell, she wasnt depressed, she wasnt upset over her job. She just wanted out of the relationship and that was her way of doing it.

I would be VERY wary about what took place when she saw her ex.

Yea bro i wouldnt be the least surprised if she cheated on you with her ex. Chances are she prolly got bored of you and then wanted some more spice in her life so she f*cked her ex. Hate to break it to ya but thats prolly what happened.

 

[slaog]

So we finally talked today, and I think some of your predictions were wrong but heres what happened.

I decided to go into it and read her body language then decide whether to take preemptive action. I had her christmas presents from awhile ago that we hadnt exchanged yet all ready in a bag to make it look as thought this might be goodbye.

She came in all happy and i gave her her presents and she really liked them, then i got serious and was like look whats been going on. She told me she has been really depressed and that her job is horrible and shes trying to find a new one. She started saying she didnt know if she could handle a relationship right now being so depressed and that she was scared we were suddenly so serious just after she ended a 3 month relationship.

From this i was like ok obviously its coming, so i better make the first move and i tell her look i think your right im not sure its best for us to be together if you really dont wanna try and make this work. And i said i dunno if you want space or a break or what but im really not gonna put up with that. She

She started crying saying that the past two weeks have been awful for her.
and that she had been giving me the run around because she wanted to delay this talk past the weekend.
I didn't fall for the crying trap, as you all said here, and continued on talking. I said if you dont think u can commit to this than maybe we should end this.

Then i was like what do you want to do? and she said she didnt know and asked what i wanted to do, and i told her if she really was depressed that i understood cuzi have been there before and that we could continue to try this and that i would do everything i could to support her. And she said yeah thats what I want to do too. So then she stopped crying and we talked a little bit more and she said she would try to be less flakey and talk to me more but she said she has always had probs communicating. I then asked if she had been cheating on me and she said no but that she saw her ex bf( which she already told me) when she was out of town at her old school and they talked and it freaked her out that their 3 year relationship ended and she was suddenly in another one and thats why she had been acting weird. But she told me they didnt do anything.

Whether or not they did i have no way of knowing, but i do know shes never gonna see him again cuz its so far away. Anyway after all that we had sex. And she told me she loved me and that she was sorry to put me through this. We hung out a little longer then she left and i went to class. Got a text from her saying "Im happy we're ok "

I'm still skeptical about this whole thing, I gave her many chances to end it, and if she did cheat on me i have to give her the benefit of the doubt cuz i have no evidence.

Anyway i have already lined up some other girls because i dont really know which way this is gonna go since shes so emotionally unstable. She applying for new jobs and hopefully she'll get one.

I do really believe her which is why i went light on her but from now on im gonna be much more mysterious and not as available as i was before. She wants to go to this bar with me tomorrow night and out fridasy andsat night.

Let me know what you guys think.

She likes you and your company but shes not attracted to you. As soon as somebody 'better' comes along she'll be telling you that she needs space etc etc. So there is no real relationship there. It's more like a FWB's situation and thats how you should be looking at it.


It looks to me like she still has feelings for her ex which she realised. She was certainly in no rush to be with you when she was depressed. If she liked you she would have wanted to be with you as much as possible.


You know yourself that things are not right. Be less available and let her come to you.

this just proves that people on this board do not know the full extent of the situation.
you FELT that what was going on was legit, she was getting stressed out...she wasnt cheating...

you did the right thing.

The situation looks obvious to the more experianced posters. Actions speak louder then words as they say. I've learned that the hard way over the last few years.

 

[Nutz]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyCFi7lbw50

Its the beginning of the end.

This "too fast" business is a common and tiresome feminine social convention.

In other words its a cheap but *LEGITIMATE SOUNDING* excuse to allow a woman to consider other options while keeping you warmed up on the backburner incase she ultimately decides not to trade you up completely for the other guy she is seeing.

Think about it.

How many very hot women you've been with in your life have made you say to yourself "Oh my this is going too fast I better slow this right down this instant!??"

Probably none and no one that is truly into another person ever says it either male or female.

The only time this is a truly legitimate statement to make is when its made concerning marriage.

Other than that its once again merely a feminine social convention that serves the agenda of a woman entirely in fooling a guy and allowing her to explore and consider other options while keeping you around incase her other option doesn't pan out.

I didn't even watch the video and I agree. She's got her eye on some other guy(s). Since you went out with that girl she hates I'll assume you're not exclusive, so then it's not so cutthroat, but if you are supposed to be exclusive then she's priming the relationship for it's end.

 

[Nutz]

She started saying she didnt know if she could handle a relationship right now being so depressed and that she was scared we were suddenly so serious just after she ended a 3 month relationship.

And there it is. This relationship is toast. All the rest is you guys delaying the inevitable. And to be honest you did good, right up until this part:

Then i was like what do you want to do?

Everything after that is you buying her the time she was looking for in trying to stall you to begin with. You just screwed yourself over with that.

I'm still skeptical about this whole thing, I gave her many chances to end it, and if she did cheat on me i have to give her the benefit of the doubt cuz i have no evidence.

Anyway i have already lined up some other girls because i dont really know which way this is gonna go since shes so emotionally unstable.

Good for you! Don't get me wrong, I'm looking at this from a pretty pessimistic point of view, but there's still hope you can turn this around with you looking at it with a clear head and having a solid game plan.

Good luck, keep her on a tight leash, and don't tolerate any more disrespect. And do us all a favor and post back with updates a couple times a week. We're pulling for you!

 

[Nutz]

Here's more to ponder on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEbkRLBoXOg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkPgqtqAHdU <--- this is a good example of the waterworks tactic.


The only thing I don't get about these videos, well, I understand why, but they go after the guys the chicks are cheating with. Hellooo, it's the woman who's CHEATING the guys aren't hurting you. It's the woman who's making that decision that's causing the pain.

 

[Romjuan]

like many others i have been in a VERY SIMILAR situation pretty recent. I hate to say it but IT IS OVER. forget everything she says.
just like you my gf of 1 year was acting strange. and for some reason all of us notice when the gf starts acting different. its not anything you can pinpoint if someone asks, but its soo weird cuz you know something is off. anyway i brought it up to her saying i dont like the way this is going do you still want to work on this and she would say yes. "i love you ill do whatever it takes to make you happy and change." i took her response for what it was worth. a month later she goes on a girls trip to vegas and calls me from there and breaks up with me over the phone. she stated that shes been thinking about it for sometime yah dah yah dah. anyway, the point i want to make is this:
your girl is saying she wants to work things out and she wants to make you happy or whatever. SHE WILL BREAK UP WITH YOU. i repeat, SHE WILL BREAK UP WITH YOU! i think someone metioned it earlier, she is confused right now and shes saying whatever you want to hear to get you to stick around till she is certain she wants to break up.
if i can go back in time and do something different with my situation (which is my recomendation to you) is this: break up with her first. that is a must. do the whole no contact thing which is the usual thing people recomend. i would do no contact after i exchanged and got all my things back. so theoretically couple days after the break up and exchange of things no contact for 2-3 weeks. she will contact you because she knows its her fault you guys broke up. you dont respond. in the coming weeks maybe you run into her at a bar or party since you know her friend and talk casually and up beat. you can call her couple days after that or go out with her. at that moment YOU decide if you want to give it another shot because the ball will definatly be in your court...

either way good luck.

 

[TheRealSupreme]

Here's more to ponder on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEbkRLBoXOg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkPgqtqAHdU <--- this is a good example of the waterworks tactic.


The only thing I don't get about these videos, well, I understand why, but they go after the guys the chicks are cheating with. Hellooo, it's the woman who's CHEATING the guys aren't hurting you. It's the woman who's making that decision that's causing the pain.

On the reverse side of that:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Phpps9w-yY

Poo baby. Now she is my type. Mike can keep the skinny smaller chica. No sex for 3 months she gets what she deserves.

 

[sasffl]

So things have been going pretty well. We dont see each other as often as before all this but i think thats probably a good thing. We still talk everyday and the nights she goes out she has spent the night with me. One night in the middle of week she left her friends after drinking to come go out with me and was very touchy feely and intimate. We had a drunk convo about stuff and she kept telling me that she wanted to be with me and that if she didnt she wouldnt waste time with me, then started talking up all the good qualities she saw in me.

Since then shes been texting me all these cute little messages during the day and stuff.

Last night she went out drinking with her friends and i told her i would come meet up with her and to call me when they knew where they were going. She texted me an hour later saying that they were all too drunk and just gonna stay in. By that time i was really drunk and pissed off that she hadnt called so i stupidly responded with "i dont know what to say to that, have fun.." She clearly knows when i get mad, and i know that makes her stressed, and since it was over something stupid i texted her this morning saying sorry for the *****y texts. She said it was fine and that they just stayed in and drank and had fun.

Havent really talked to her since, i think her phone is dead.

She doesnt have many girl friends so i understand that shes trying to make and keep these friends so I feel like she wanted just a girls night but didnt want to be mean and say that. Anyway I will find out and post back.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Sasffl: Dude this chick sucks! She's clearly emotionally unstable and has you on the rollercoaster ride that is her life. Why in the fuvk do you tolerate this s-hitty behavior?? Women never respect guys who they can walk all over. This girl has you eating outta the palm of her hand.

This relationship will not end well for you. Let me repeat that...

THIS RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT END WELL FOR YOU......

You can't allow yourself to become emotionally invested in the wrong type of girl. If you do, it'll literally suck the life out of you.

Break up with this head-case, she doesn't take accountability for any of her s-hitty actions and always has a buttered up excuse for her bullshyt. Walk away while your still able to, go find a girl who won't treat you like the dirt at the bottom of her shoe.

Normally I'd give you strategies and advice for specifics based on what's been posted, but in the case, its not worth it.

This vicious cycle will constantly repeat itself over and over until you learn to pick up your ballz and walk away.

She's acts flakey,weird and distant
She cries, tells you she's confused and waits for you to tolerate her behavior
She fuvks you and acts "good" for a week or so

Cycle repeats......


You mentioned that she's been screwed over in the past by guys....

What's her relationship like with her parents?

The fact that she doesn't have many gfs is NOT a good sign




PIMP

 

[eaglez1177]

Sasffl: Dude this chick sucks! She's clearly emotionally unstable and has you on the rollercoaster ride that is her life. Why in the fuvk do you tolerate this s-hitty behavior?? Women never respect guys who they can walk all over. This girl has you eating outta the palm of her hand.

This relationship will not end well for you. Let me repeat that...

THIS RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT END WELL FOR YOU......
You can't allow yourself to become emotionally invested in the wrong type of girl. If you do, it'll literally suck the life out of you.

Break up with this head-case, she doesn't take accountability for any of her s-hitty actions and always has a buttered up excuse for her bullshyt. Walk away while your still able to, go find a girl who won't treat you like the dirt at the bottom of her shoe.

Normally I'd give you strategies and advice for specifics based on what's been posted, but in the case, its not worth it.

This vicious cycle will constantly repeat itself over and over until you learn to pick up your ballz and walk away.

She's acts flakey,weird and distant
She cries, tells you she's confused and waits for you to tolerate her behavior
She fuvks you and acts "good" for a week or so

Cycle repeats......


You mentioned that she's been screwed over in the past by guys....

What's her relationship like with her parents?

The face that she doesn't have many gfs is NOT a good sign




PIMP

Exactly. Pimp summed up EVERYTHING.

sasffl: Stop being a fuking AFC, grow a pair of fuking balls, and fuking dump this cheating emotional tampon.

 

[DJDamage]

Sasffl: Dude this chick sucks! She's clearly emotionally unstable and has you on the rollercoaster ride that is her life. Why in the fuvk do you tolerate this s-hitty behavior?? Women never respect guys who they can walk all over. This girl has you eating outta the palm of her hand.

This relationship will not end well for you. Let me repeat that...

THIS RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT END WELL FOR YOU......

You can't allow yourself to become emotionally invested in the wrong type of girl. If you do, it'll literally suck the life out of you.

Break up with this head-case, she doesn't take accountability for any of her s-hitty actions and always has a buttered up excuse for her bullshyt. Walk away while your still able to, go find a girl who won't treat you like the dirt at the bottom of her shoe.

Normally I'd give you strategies and advice for specifics based on what's been posted, but in the case, its not worth it.

This vicious cycle will constantly repeat itself over and over until you learn to pick up your ballz and walk away.

She's acts flakey,weird and distant
She cries, tells you she's confused and waits for you to tolerate her behavior
She fuvks you and acts "good" for a week or so

Cycle repeats......


You mentioned that she's been screwed over in the past by guys....

What's her relationship like with her parents?

The face that she doesn't have many gfs is NOT a good sign

cosign.

She is playing games dude.

Its just a matter of time....