Girl leaves me alone in hospital after date

Blacksheep

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Hey guys I’m in a ****ed up situation rn. On Monday I drove 70 km to a girl that I met online. We chilled at her place and made out, slept together. The next morning my stomach hurt so much I couldn’t take it so she brought me to the hospital. I vomited and couldn’t even stand on my feet. The doctors said my appendix needs to be removed. The girl dropped me at the hospital and just left. She didn’t ask about my situation and when I asked her why she doesn’t care at all she said she wants to meet me when I’m healthy. She said she has other things going on in her life. I mean ok it was the first time we met each other but I wouldn’t react that cold and heartless. Now I’m in the hospital after surgery and I’m alone feeling like ****.

Am i overreacting? Should I drop that girl ?
You are not overreacting.

And if you should drop her it depends. You can use her only for meeting your sexual needs... Nothing more than that. That behavior she had was stupid.

But I personally would not date a girl like that.

Its not that it was the first date and she at least gave u a ride.

The truth is: humanity is dying. Human being are becoming more ignorant and egocentric each day.

You expected a good response from her, but keep in mind that we should not attach to our expectations. Things are the way they are... If it meets our expectations its ok, but it wont happen all the time.

I thinking a lot about good and evil lately. And my conclusion is getting something like:

Be good to the ones that are good to you. And be evil to the ones who are evil to you.

Its like the dark and light side. Do not attach to one side... Learn to use both. If both exist, we should learn about both sides. The same goes to every aspect of life.

Do not lie to the ones who are honest with you... But do lie to the ones who lies and manipulate you.

One more analogy: there is the past / present / future.

When you live in the present, you should use what youve learned from your past, evolving yourself in the present to create a better future. This idea can be applied to everything in life.

Hope you recover fast from it and can return safe to your city!
 

Blacksheep

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Again OLD. Lol
And they hate weakness. Even dying weakness.
And she just met you. Its a great story for her to tell her girlfriends later
Thats a great point.

And never trust or create any expectations over any OLD girl you meet. I've played that game over years... And I would not say all to dont generalize, but most of the girls Ive met on old apps doesnt worth a penny.
 

Konada

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Can't wait for the sosuave version of this where posters tell the dude the HB is being a complete bytch.

"I fvcked her and suddenly her appendix burst. I brought her to the hospital and left her there. Now she goes cold on me and complains I didn't text her to see how she was doing.

Is she being a bytch?"
 

Kdw8

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Are you offical boyfriend and girlfriend? If not then you should understand people have their own lives. I wouldn't want to play daddy to someone's sick daughter just bc I took them in a date :lol:. Nobody has to do anything for you, you're lucky she took you to the hospital mate.
 

Striker_93

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Are you offical boyfriend and girlfriend? If not then you should understand people have their own lives. I wouldn't want to play daddy to someone's sick daughter just bc I took them in a date :lol:. Nobody has to do anything for you, you're lucky she took you to the hospital mate.
Someone gets it......
 

Baibars

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Are you offical boyfriend and girlfriend? If not then you should understand people have their own lives. I wouldn't want to play daddy to someone's sick daughter just bc I took them in a date :lol:. Nobody has to do anything for you, you're lucky she took you to the hospital mate.
nice to have your point of view. We’re clearly raised under different circumstances so I cannot relate to you. But I have to accept that there are people like you out there. I just don’t want to have anything do with them and this time I couldn’t figure out that she’s a piece of **** early on. If she’d talk like you in the beginning I would save myself from a lot of trouble.
 

metalwater

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no mystery in this. women like winners. she has to see the winner in you somehow. it might be in a way that you and or others do not see but it must be. being sick (not your fault) is looser. it takes 10x more winner actions to offset even one looser action.

one date and one looser action (being sick). you would have to already have 10 winner dates first and sometimes even that is not enough as the light switch effect can occur for any looser action, even something not your fault. they do not care about reasons, only results.

now the girl's gossip group will sit around and tell how they would help in this case and sound all lovy dovy. but pretty much all will do what you experienced.

guys will care for the woman often in such a case if it was in reverse. men like to take care of women usually. most women outright tell that they do not want a man they have to take care of. this situation fits into that scenario. she clearly said that she will date you again when you are strong again. this is just women... I even see mothers set children aside that are not doing well and focus instead on the winner if there is one in the bunch.

if you ever find a woman that you like that does take care of you, keep her as it's very rare.
 

kavi

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How about all the guys who sleep with a woman and then ghost, all the guys out there with large notch counts, maybe she thinks OP could be one of those. It works both ways. So many guys out there just wanna smash and then ghost so no wonder women dont respect guys.
 

derby1

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It’s not. It’s a 1 hour drive and why should a man Limit himself if he has the opportunity?
she registered you as a loser for travelling so far, do you realise the sub conscious low value signals you have sent out by merely making this move?

You made her do NOTHING no INVESTMENT, in return for her mediocre fanny. You have basically told her lizard brain, you are so low on the dominance food scale, the big dog chucks you scraps

and you wonder why she ditched you like a bad habit?
 

Baibars

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she registered you as a loser for travelling so far, do you realise the sub conscious low value signals you have sent out by merely making this move?

You made her do NOTHING no INVESTMENT, in return for her mediocre fanny. You have basically told her lizard brain, you are so low on the dominance food scale, the big dog chucks you scraps

and you wonder why she ditched you like a bad habit?
to clarify I never said somewhere that I’m the most alpha most high value dude and I got treated poorly even though I’m such a badass. We were texting and having phone calls before, she made a good impression. She invited me and I said **** it let’s go and have fun.
we had fun and even then everything was fine. She knew all the time that I’m not a boss level guy and I didn’t paint myself as such. She dropped her pants even when she saw my little car.
Everything changed the next morning when I got sick. I met girls before and I’m well aware that girls can easily delete and ghost if they don’t like you. I accept that.
The only thing that I don’t consider normal is how ruthless she acted when I got sick. dating is different than having a guest that is sick and you know you’re the only person he has around right now.
i accept all criticism and blame you have for me but stop normalising or even justifying bad behavior just because I’m not high value enough.
 

Stoic

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Op, get it together. Why do you have such high expectations of a person you just met? She is only slightly more than a stranger at this point.
Your mindset is off.

A woman's job is not to care for a man that she just met. You weren't going to die. She's not a nurse or a doctor. She drove you to get care because she couldn't provide it herself. You should thank God or your lucky stars for that.

Men take care of themselves. We are responsible for our own health. We take care of our own emotional state.
 

Baibars

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Op, get it together. Why do you have such high expectations of a person you just met? She is only slightly more than a stranger at this point.
Your mindset is off.

A woman's job is not to care for a man that she just met. You weren't going to die. She's not a nurse or a doctor. She drove you to get care because she couldn't provide it herself. You should thank God or your lucky stars for that.

Men take care of themselves. We are responsible for our own health. We take care of our own emotional state.
you’re right. Everything happened so fast and I wasn’t able to deal with it in that Situation combined with her distancing herself from me. I have to get myself together.
 

Konada

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OP, be glad that you saw this side of her this early.

No matter how you look at it, this is a massive red flag if your goal is to find a LTR. A woman is her most vulnerable right after getting fvcked and the only explanation why she did a 180 is because caring is not in her nature, or she has lost the ability to pair bond. both of which are red flags.

Obviously you are invested in her, otherwise you wouldn't have drove 70km to meet her and be so upset over how she treated you. If you are able to detach, I would suggest relegating this woman to nothing more than a sport fvck.

Also, I would agree that the level of investment here is way off balance. You drove 70km to meet a chick you never met, while all she had to do was to show up looking pretty IN HER OWN HOUSE. Such imbalance never ends well, especially at a start of an interaction.
 
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Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

SW15

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It’s not. It’s a 1 hour drive and why should a man Limit himself if he has the opportunity?
70 km = 43 miles. Depending on traffic, that might not even be one hour. That is borderline long distance though. In my experiences, I've had a challenging enough time with women within 10-15 miles of me, so 43 would be too much. Also, I start my interactions in-person, which reduces long distance options. Long distance options can be filtered out on a swipe app quite easily though, which is what I did when I used swipe apps.

Can't wait for the sosuave version of this where posters tell the dude the HB is being a complete bytch.

"I fvcked her and suddenly her appendix burst. I brought her to the hospital and left her there. Now she goes cold on me and complains I didn't text her to see how she was doing.

Is she being a bytch?"
I would like to think many guys would at least see how she's doing in the hospital.
 
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Konada

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70 km = 43 miles. Depending on traffic, that might not even be one hour. That is borderline long distance though. In my experiences, I've had a challenging enough time with women within 10-15 miles of me, so 43 would be too much. Also, I start my interactions in-person, which reduces long distance options. Long distance options can be filtered out on a swipe app quite easily though, which is what I did when I used swipe apps.
The issue is not that he drove 70km, but rather the relative level of investment he made vs hers cannot be compared. He had to take an hour's drive while she only had to show up looking sexy at her doorstep.
 

Baibars

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OP, be glad that you saw this side of her this early.

No matter how you look at it, this is a massive red flag if your goal is to find a LTR. A woman is her most vulnerable right after getting fvcked and the only explanation why she did a 180 is because caring is not in her nature, or she has lost the ability to pair bond. both of which are red flags.

Obviously you are invested in her, otherwise you wouldn't have drove 70km to meet her and be so upset over how she treated you. If you are able to detach, I would suggest relegating this woman to nothing more than a sport fvck.

Also, I would agree that the level of investment here is way off balance. You drove 70km to meet a chick you never met, while all she had to do was to show up looking pretty IN HER OWN HOUSE. Such imbalance never ends well, especially at a start of an interaction.
Yes i'm able to detach and leave her behind. I acted too emotionally cause we were laying in the same bed and just a few hours after that I'm sick af and need surgery followed by her coldness. It was kind of a push/pull thing by her and i was way too much into my emotions.

I need to move on. I just regret my stupid decision to go there cause it wasn't worth it and in the i did that all to myself. Thanks for slapping some sense into me.
 

SW15

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Yes i'm able to detach and leave her behind. I acted too emotionally cause we were laying in the same bed and just a few hours after that I'm sick af and need surgery followed by her coldness. It was kind of a push/pull thing by her and i was way too much into my emotions.

I need to move on. I just regret my stupid decision to go there cause it wasn't worth it and in the i did that all to myself. Thanks for slapping some sense into me.
You are 27. You're well positioned for meeting women 20-25, who are in their absolute primes.

The issue is not that he drove 70km, but rather the relative level of investment he made vs hers cannot be compared. He had to take an hour's drive while she only had to show up looking sexy at her doorstep.
That's typical though. Women are used to only having to show up. All women typically need to be successful in romantic interactions is to show up and be pleasant. That doesn't seem like it is much to ask, yet women have a difficult time with achieving those two things.

Think about Valentine's Day. The concept of the holiday is men doing romantic gestures for women, whereas all women need to do on Valentine's Day is show up in sexy lingerie and have sex.
 

derby1

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The only thing that I don’t consider normal is how ruthless she acted when I got sick
It doesnt matter if she knew you werent a boss level guy, your actions dried up her respect for you. Humans have weird ways of perceiving things.

Its a bit like parents having massive problems with modern children.

The same parent queues in a maccies drive thru for the child, when the child has achieved F*ck all.

Or the child gets plates of food & technology prepared at home, when its a mediocre kid.

2 years later the same child assaults its own parents, and the parent wonders why? its because the parent has taught it, they are the submissive weak ones. The child runs the house. Half these kids would chuck their own parents under a bus, for anything with a Apple logo..

you basically taught her the same thing with how submissive you were, her fanny wants a winner, winners dont travel 70 miles.

you must make others invest or they will never respect.
 

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