Girl deleted my profile after date.

[BackInTheGame78]

Not what you have.



Re-read what you wrote.


You have so much animosity towards women.

Women are generally very well fine tuned to reading a man's emotional state.

They also feel emotions more intensely.

Couple that with the tenancy of people to seek out good feelings and avoid negative feelings, it generally results in women quickly distancing themselves from people whom make them feel poorly, particularly when those people are relative strangers.

So let's play this out.

Imagine you are a relatively mentally healthy woman, and you meet the male you (without knowing it's you), and you as a woman pick up on your male version's anger towards women.

Ask yourself this now, would you, as a woman, want to associate with that guy?


There are multiple other indicators of your disdain for women in your post, but the following really stood out ... "a b*tch eating like a dog".

Even if she had poor table manners, that's not how someone whom generally likes or loves women would describe her way of eating.

Doesn't matter that you never said it directly to her.

These types of things get picked up on.


Part of this video discusses some of the above.

Starting from about 3 mins 14s to 8 mins 58s for the more relevant section.

Always cracks me up when someone says "they are a good catch" when they don't even realize their actual disdain for woman makes them into a 1 regardless of how they look or what else they have going for them.

It literally overrides anything else and makes them virtually undatable unless a woman chooses to ignore it but that usually will only happen with women who have very low self esteem. Yet they ignore this and continue to wonder what they issue is because they can't figure it out.

How about actually like women?

 

[BeExcellent]

I dunno @BackInTheGame78 I think you might have frightened OP right off with your genius. Truth honestly. Hope he listens. A woman's number 1 need is security. Safety & security. Angry men cannot meet that need because angry men are adversarial and bitter.

No woman is going to feel safe with an angry dude she just met. Yikes.

Just like the jaded bitter women who think "all men suck". Each of those attitudes are UGLY, negative and repulsive. And then these repulsive people wonder why nobody wants to date them.

Gee, I wonder. Hmmmmmmmm.

 

[Canadian_Man]

I also wonder why people date if the attraction is this low.

Maybe it's my age, but I won't waste my time / effort / energy on lukewarm attraction, but maybe that's just me.

This might not generalize to most men, but in my personal experience, it came from a miscalculation of the risk/reward analysis.

When I've tried to make it work with low-to-medium interest women, I didn't feel fulfilled as is, particularly feeling a lack in companionship. This resulted in a strong emotional pull towards that potential 'reward'.

The risk was underplayed, mostly due to naivety, as well as the likelihood of failure, and so, the attempt to 'make it work' was tried.

 

[Smok1nAce]

I agree, I probably do have to work on a more positive attitude.

I've been through alot of BS in the last years and am finally moving past it. I think the biggest problem I had was that the girl wasn't on my level to begin with. This stems from when I was in my early 20s I read alot of self help videos and alot of them pushed talking and being friends with anyone who was lacking socially. This mixed with my low-esteem at the time lead me down a bad path, where I was being used and manipulated. I suffered from extreme depression, agitation and anxiety while thinking it was because of me. I basically surrounded my self with the worst of society because I thought their was something lacking in me socially. By the time I knew what was happeing the dammage was done and all the burdons these people put on me had changed my personality for the worse.

I think this date was just a reminder that I need to start vetting people who want to be in my life, even if its just for a 15 min date or even a conversation. I suspect this woman probably goes on multiple dates and does this type of behavior as some kind of rush, knowing full well she has no intention of anything and if i vetted her properly I could have came to the conclusion.

Plus I'm starting to realize im actually very good looking, but have the attitude of a ugly ogor from the people Ive been hanging with.

 

[devilkingx2]

When I read the thread title I thought the story would be:

“ I had a great date and took her home afterwards, I woke up the next morning/in the night to see her deleting dating and social media apps off of my phone (how did she get my password?) is this a red flag”

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Plus I'm starting to realize im actually very good looking, but have the attitude of a ugly ogor from the people Ive been hanging with.

May be good looking but not good at spelling...your 3rd grade English teacher is crying herself to sleep right now...

I think the word you want is "ogre"

 

[Smok1nAce]

Yes ogre is what I meant

It just throws me of when I have a really positive go lucky attitude and people react with a really aggressive abrasive attitude for no reason.

Lots of women have told me I’m handsome and cute. I usually coughed it up to them being nice. I really have to start believing it myself. It kinda flips my entire world. I’m walking around with a giant chip on my shoulder sometimes because I’ve been badly gaslit growing up to think there was something wrong with me by usually average females who would call me ugly growing up and male friends who never gave me my “props” or made me constantly validate myself.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I never did OLD. Complete waste of time.

Back in my single days, OLD was not half bad. It probably went downhill with time.

Did you ever tried OLD? You probably never needed it in the first place.

 

[BeExcellent]

Back in my single days, OLD was not half bad. It probably went downhill with time.

Did you ever tried OLD? You probably never needed it in the first place.

Yes. I thought Ok., this must be efficient. I went on 3 dates from OLD (out of the hundreds of men who reached out to me via OLD.)

Each of the 3 men was blown away because I am *MUCH* prettier in person than I am in photos. Each became visibly nervous & commented thusly (that I was more attractive in person). While each of these 3 guys were worse looking in person than in photos (2 of them saying they were 5'11" when reality was more like 5'7", which means I towered over them in 5 inch heels.)

I thought Jesus. What a bunch of false advertising. So I blew off OLD after a sum total of 2 weeks (1 week each, 3 years apart.) I also found wading through a sea of mediocrity to be time consuming and much more investment than it was worth. My time is valuable. Why waste it sifting through OLD duds for hours when I can be out in an environment where I can enjoy myself and potentially meet someone who is both attractive and charming?

I mean even now, men hit on me like crazy. There is something about me beyond looks, perhaps confidence & sass, that men find beguiling. None of that comes across really in photos, and my face can look more angular in photos than in person, I'm very attractive, but not as photogenic as some women.

So for those reasons I ditched OLD. I've always gotten great results IRL so stick with what works.

 

[The Diver]

This stems from when I was in my early 20s I read alot of self help videos and alot of them pushed talking and being friends with anyone who was lacking socially. This mixed with my low-esteem at the time lead me down a bad path, where I was being used and manipulated

Op, a few days ago, I started a post about 4 types of men's conversations and interactions with women.
You're perfectly fit for the number 4 type.
The link is below. Read this post and my field report I add after it .Although my approach won't fit to everyone, It'll open your eyes to the possibility.
( I don't know if number one approach will work if you're looking for a LTR).

4 type of Men's conversations, interaction, and behavior style with women, and women reaction to it.

Men's conversations, interaction, and behavior style with women fall into one or more of four categories, and it's also about what most women want/don't want to hear and expect/not expect to hear from men. 1) Men who are saying what women Want to hear but mostly Not Expected to hear. These men...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I think the punishment is a bit to hard to the OP. He doesn't seem to be having problem pulling out chicks but he's having problems figuring out a path forward with them which is something that doesn't get nearly the attention and discussion that it should on the forum (overwhelming discussion is about how to go about getting them in the first place). As men, I think its fair to demand much more from the women we date. If we as men demand more of these chicks, then you'd slowly but surely start to see changes in their behavior but most guys are failing miserably in this regard. I know for myself that I expect certain behaviors from women that I date and I'm not the least bit shy about communicating this, no fvcks given for how offended she gets. It also serves as a sh1t test to weed out stupid chicks. I agree with making yourself as high value as you can because then you can demand these things from women and if they want to be in your high value life then she needs to get down with the program, period.

OP, What you feel is what the majority of every non-natural posters on here feel. After that it's just a question of perspective.

The issues you seem to be having with women are the same issues people have with other people in general. Some of the same things I used to get angry about in front of the mirror when I lacked inner game and yes even God in my life.

If you can't slay tail and have them wrapped around your finger how are you going to manage a nice traditional girl that wants to start a family? You dont expect that to be less work do you? Sure, the right woman is a blessing but they all pull the same amount of sh1t eventually. The whole lot. Without having the constitution, vision, wisdom and all those great things that come with experience your chances of coming out ahead look dim.

Keep learning, don't get stagnant, don't let the state of women get you down. There are plenty of decent chicks out there that have that “happy gene” waiting for you to swipe them off their feet.

There’s a price to be paid for having women in your life. ONS, fwbs, girlfriends, wife, daughters, you pay, one way or the other. At some point, you become so accomplished (your game becomes second nature, your value goes up) the price seems smaller, but it's always there.

Switching lanes to you situation with this chick, I genuinely feel like if a woman is not interested in you for the first few seconds, it is a waste of time. Invest that energy in more viable options like making money or getting new leads.

Strong frame is when a girl is free to choose whatever she wishes and yet she still chooses to make the choices that would please you, due to the foundation you've laid (and need to continue to build on). Attempting to control the choice, to make it for her, is weak frame. And it's not effective in the long term anyway, as her conflicting desire never went away. Move on.

My opinion is that men would be better served putting in the effort to build an awesome life, look and feel their best and have a fully charged social battery to where less effort is required to pull women. Ditch the insidious apps and organically cold approach like our grandfathers once did. I’m talking about old school men who also had mistresses on the side. Handle it.

 

[SW15]

I also found wading through a sea of mediocrity to be time consuming and much more investment than it was worth. My time is valuable.

For different reasons, I found that using tech-based methods like dating websites (pre-app era) and dating apps was not a good and not an efficient use of my time. I consider my time to be valuable.

There are a small percentage of men that can find an efficiency (+ effectiveness) on their use of time with the swipe apps. I perceive most men's experience on swipe apps lacks both efficiency and effectiveness. Top tier men (who would be effective only using in-person methods) are the men who are able to realize a greater efficiency on swipe apps as compared to going to bars and doing real approaches and/or doing approaches in non-bar venues.

For women, the apps help them generate more interest than they would generate solely from in-person methods. A woman who goes to a bar 2-3 nights per week in order to start meeting men would only get approached a fraction of as much as she would get right swiped on while using an app. In a given week, a woman might get approached by 10 men in the real world (a possibility by actively going to bars). On a swipe app, she'll get 300 right swipes in a week. 300 is many more options than 10. Additionally, many women don't have a good day-to-day routine which enables them to get approached in-person regularly. This is more of a common occurrence for women late 20s+.

Many men also have the problem of not having a day-to-day routine that puts them in contact with enough single women.

The apps fall far short in delivering convenience in meeting sustainable mates for both sexes.

My opinion is that men would be better served putting in the effort to build an awesome life, look and feel their best and have a fully charged social battery to where less effort is required to pull women. Ditch the insidious apps and organically cold approach like our grandfathers once did. I’m talking about old school men who also had mistresses on the side. Handle it.

I generally agree. The one thing that you failed to mention is that men 2-3 generations ago who actually approached women did far fewer approaches that the typical man who has needed to approach in more recent times. Many of the approaches in those days were done early in life at places like high schools, churches, and community events. There was some bar approaching in the early 20th Century but it wasn't as prevalent as the time after the Sexual Revolution.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yes. I thought Ok., this must be efficient. I went on 3 dates from OLD (out of the hundreds of men who reached out to me via OLD.)

Each of the 3 men was blown away because I am *MUCH* prettier in person than I am in photos. Each became visibly nervous & commented thusly (that I was more attractive in person). While each of these 3 guys were worse looking in person than in photos (2 of them saying they were 5'11" when reality was more like 5'7", which means I towered over them in 5 inch heels.)

I thought Jesus. What a bunch of false advertising. So I blew off OLD after a sum total of 2 weeks (1 week each, 3 years apart.) I also found wading through a sea of mediocrity to be time consuming and much more investment than it was worth. My time is valuable. Why waste it sifting through OLD duds for hours when I can be out in an environment where I can enjoy myself and potentially meet someone who is both attractive and charming?

I mean even now, men hit on me like crazy. There is something about me beyond looks, perhaps confidence & sass, that men find beguiling. None of that comes across really in photos, and my face can look more angular in photos than in person, I'm very attractive, but not as photogenic as some women.

So for those reasons I ditched OLD. I've always gotten great results IRL so stick with what works.

Guys have it way easier on OLD. Women mostly meet creeps, weirdos, sex freaks, jailbirds, lame or boring men that can't hold convos or ones that have no job/car/anything going for them.

Most women on OLD at least halfway have their sh!t together...plenty of easy ways to screen out fraudulent pics or baby daddy/other drama issues quickly.

Kinda sad actually that women would get so excited after meeting me that they would literally thank me for "being normal". The bar is so low for men right now that you could almost crawl over it.

Being "normal" and able to handle your end of a conversation has never taken you further as a man as it does today.

 

[BeExcellent]

Agree @SW15 about 300 options on OLD versus 10 in real life. But those 300 options are garbage because they are not pre-selected. Too much time doing the selecting, and without meaningful context.

Contrast that with 10 IRL options who can afford to be in the venue where I am, and who I can conversate with to elucidate intelligence, achievement, personality and values. Of those 10 perhaps only 1 or 2 are attractive enough to take seriously.

Still. My experience tells me I only need one. So if I meet lets say 2 per month who are of interest?

Well that's 24 a year. Only I've never in my life made it that far....some gorgeous man always locks me down quickly.

Remember. I had been single for 2 hours when I met my husband. TWO HOURS.

So I like my IRL results, OLD is a shjt show although I do know couples who met that way.

 

[SW15]

OLD is a shjt show although I do know couples who met that way.

Most of the newer LTRs have formed online (swipe apps & social media). It is now the primary way couples form.

Far fewer couples are now starting their interactions through a social circle facilitation, through a bar approach, through a non-bar approach (including through college campus activities), or in the workplace.

The way interactions are starting has had a massive impact on the sexual marketplace as a whole.

The swipe apps (and dating websites before them) have always been a shiit show in my experience.

As for your experience, you had the typical female experience of abundance online. Narrowing through that abundance is a challenge and a source of frustration for many women.

So if I meet lets say 2 per month who are of interest?

Well that's 24 a year. Only I've never in my life made it that far....some gorgeous man always locks me down quickly.

Remember. I had been single for 2 hours when I met my husband. TWO HOURS.

If you had 24 good options in a 12 month period, that's still very good abundance. You've not even been sitting on the market close to that long. The two hours time frame is extraordinary and outlier level. Even something like 2 weeks to 2 months is a short time frame.

who can afford to be in the venue where I am

I think it is important that you mention venue. When you have been approached, how much more frequently have you been approached in bar/nightlife venues as compared to non-bar venues?

There are some higher end non-bar venues too. In the grocery store category, Whole Foods is considered higher end. There are also higher end malls and shopping centers too. I can't imagine too many men lingering around a higher end boutique store looking for approach targets.

In the 2011 book "Day Bang", Roosh discussed the differences between approach targets in mall department stores vs. other types of shops inside of indoor malls. When Roosh wrote "Day Bang", he was in his early 30s and was reflecting upon being a 20s/early 30s guy seeking 20 something women in malls. He did acknowledge that mall department stores could be an option for older men seeking older women. In thinking about an upper end department store like Nordstrom or Neiman Marcus, it would be possible for a man to do approaches on a woman in there. I don't think there would be a lot of men who would choose to spend time in Nordstrom or Neiman Marcus to do approaches.

 

[Grandma Penkitten]

Next!
Time to move on to the next match.

 

[BeExcellent]

Most of the newer LTRs have formed online (swipe apps & social media). It is now the primary way couples form.

Far fewer couples are now starting their interactions through a social circle facilitation, through a bar approach, through a non-bar approach (including through college campus activities), or in the workplace.

The way interactions are starting has had a massive impact on the sexual marketplace as a whole.

The swipe apps (and dating websites before them) have always been a shiit show in my experience.

As for your experience, you had the typical female experience of abundance online. Narrowing through that abundance is a challenge and a source of frustration for many women.



If you had 24 good options in a 12 month period, that's still very good abundance. You've not even been sitting on the market close to that long. The two hours time frame is extraordinary and outlier level. Even something like 2 weeks to 2 months is a short time frame.



I think it is important that you mention venue. When you have been approached, how much more frequently have you been approached in bar/nightlife venues as compared to non-bar venues?

There are some higher end non-bar venues too. In the grocery store category, Whole Foods is considered higher end. There are also higher end malls and shopping centers too. I can't imagine too many men lingering around a higher end boutique store looking for approach targets.

In the 2011 book "Day Bang", Roosh discussed the differences between approach targets in mall department stores vs. other types of shops inside of indoor malls. When Roosh wrote "Day Bang", he was in his early 30s and was reflecting upon being a 20s/early 30s guy seeking 20 something women in malls. He did acknowledge that mall department stores could be an option for older men seeking older women. In thinking about an upper end department store like Nordstrom or Neiman Marcus, it would be possible for a man to do approaches on a woman in there. I don't think there would be a lot of men who would choose to spend time in Nordstrom or Neiman Marcus to do approaches.

To respond to @SW15:

Venue is important because it does some pre-selection for you. If you are at a gallery opening at an art gallery (for example) you are going to meet people who value art and are going, typically, to be more sophisticated, cultured, and higher net worth. These people also share an interest with you.

If you are at a nightclub where a metal band is playing you are going to meet people who share that interest.

If you are at a white table cloth steakhouse where steak costs $65 entry level & a glass of wine averages $25 a glass? That presents an entry barrier for those who cannot afford to be there. This again creates pre-selection. And there are high net worth individuals who gravitate to such venues as a way to do a couple of things:

1. Enjoy a great meal/glass of wine/perhaps live music...

2. Be open to meeting others who enjoy great food/wine and music....

3. The environment pre-selects for a certain patron profile, compatible with my own.

I think day game or night game is quite canned in the sense that picking a locale (let's use your Whole Foods example) is entirely counter productive if you are going there with the sole intent/focus of approaching women. I shop for groceries at WFM and have for many years. I've had men approach me there a number of times...

Each time the guy seemed desperate, canned and creepy. He's not there to shop for groceries....he's there to game women, not realizing how awkwardly obvious that is.

My point is this: Have an interesting life and go do things that interest you. If you meet a cool chick while doing something you enjoy that you were already doing? Happy bonus. Never go anywhere for the express purpose of "approaching women", you'll come across all wrong and savvy women will smell that eagerness on you like dog doo.

Expensive/exclusive venues pre-select against men who are cruising to meet women unless they are higher net worth where $$$$ is not a barrier. This has a number of advantages. I am in a venue where higher net worth/more successful people go, which means men I meet there have a more achievement based mindset and positive thinking patterns. It means I meet men who I better relate to & have more in common with.

I met my husband in a nightclub where a metal band was playing. I happened to be there to meet friends or I would not have gone. And one of the things I now deal with is his discomfort around highly successful men in my social environs. He is accutely aware that he is not as successful as they are & this bugs him, even when the guys are cool. But I'm not doing dinner at Olive Garden. I prefer Maestro's even if I have to foot the bill, which I often do.

The nightclub does not pre-select as well as an expensive steak house with a happy hour & sophisticated clientele.

So yes, venue matters.

 

[SW15]

I think day game or night game is quite canned in the sense that picking a locale (let's use your Whole Foods example) is entirely counter productive if you are going there with the sole intent/focus of approaching women. I shop for groceries at WFM and have for many years. I've had men approach me there a number of times...

Each time the guy seemed desperate, canned and creepy. He's not there to shop for groceries....he's there to game women, not realizing how awkwardly obvious that is.

I like that we are working with this Whole Foods example. I have done approaches at Whole Foods before but I think my mindset of going to Whole Foods was likely different than the men who approached you at Whole Foods.

On the occasions when I have done approaches at Whole Foods, I have done approaches when buying things that I need to run my kitchen. While it is not my favorite grocery store, it is a good place.

There is an art to doing grocery store approaches at any grocery store. Those men who approached you in Whole Foods didn't quite pull it off as well as some men who do it.

I've become less of a proponent of the idea of lingering in a grocery to do approaches. Lingering is what it sounds like. While a man has items already in his basket, he waits/walks around the store looking for targets. Lingering will help in getting more approaches but it is less organic and often less fun to do. Lingering can be successful but it's higher effort and often less fun.

I always did set a time limit for approaching even when I did practice lingering.

I'd rather meet someone at any grocery store (I have approached at most of them) when not lingering and just doing my regular shopping.

My point is this: Have an interesting life and go do things that interest you. If you meet a cool chick while doing something you enjoy that you were already doing? Happy bonus. Never go anywhere for the express purpose of "approaching women", you'll come across all wrong and savvy women will smell that eagerness on you like dog doo.

The general point is a good one.

A lot of men and women have below average day-to-day routines for meeting the opposite sex. I think that it would be useful for a lot of men and women to alter their day-to-day routines. This will tend to fall on men more since we are the initiators.

Most men approaching in malls are generally there for approaching women. I found doing mall sessions to be often disappointing.

I think it is possible to do something you enjoy but in a setting more conducive to meeting people. This might require an alteration to someone's usual routine.

 

[Dr.Suave]

To respond to @SW15:
And one of the things I now deal with is his discomfort around highly successful men in my social environs. He is accutely aware that he is not as successful as they are & this bugs him, even when the guys are cool.

D@mn. This sounds interesting.

To respond to @SW15:
Have an interesting life and go do things that interest you. If you meet a cool chick while doing something you enjoy that you were already doing? Happy bonus. Never go anywhere for the express purpose of "approaching women", you'll come across all wrong and savvy women will smell that eagerness on you

I agree with this. Going to a place/activity you dont even enjoy just to game women doesnt sound very suave.

 

[nismo-4]

She unmatched you.

She doesn't respect you. She met with Tyrone after you and got her back blown out.

Sent her a pic of you with another woman, hopefully hotter. I do this with women who seem to lose interest. IMO a better way of saying I moved on amd you lost out.