Girl deleted my profile after date.

[Canadian_Man]

Text her, no response.

She said in her profile she like breakfast dates. and doesn’t drink. Tbh she was, like 90% of women way under my league. I feel like most women get so easily offended by masculine men that you end up extremely nervous in order not to hurt their feelings by the amount of stupidity these girls are.

She has 2 big dogs that she clearly felt like were a burden when discussing them. And instead of speaking my mind that you should get rid of the devious mutts if they bother you that much, I sat silent listening to the stupid so I wouldn’t have a drink thrown in my face. On top of that this bittch ate her food like a dog. Like completely scarfed it down. I was going to make a comment but didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

I can be nice but sometimes the shyt is so antagonistic towards your intelligence im inclined to tell it like it is especially when the girl acts like her thang don’t stnk.

Also by the end of the date she said some passive aggressive comments, so at that point I kind of knew I had the upper hand.

What frustrates me is knowing I’m a good catch and women know this but still refuse to give me a go, even girls below my level.

I probably should have never even gone on the date with her cause im certain it was a power move on her part. She was the typical small town girl with a chip on her shoulder, with more regrets than accomplishment in life from most likely being arrogant.

Wow.

You've got way bigger problems than deciding whether to text a woman whom you don't like nor does she like you.

Perhaps this is a bit harsh, but you're going down a bad path with your mindset.

 

[Smok1nAce]

Wow.

You've got way bigger problems than deciding whether to text a woman whom you don't like nor does she like you.

Perhaps this is a bit harsh, but you're going down a bad path with your mindset.

Whats a proper mindset?

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Firstly, my first date with my husband was Sunday brunch. Why? We met the night before, he got my contact info, and he texted me the very next morning wanting to see me for a date.

Now. I never did OLD. Complete waste of time. I've always met people IRL. If our OP has the looks perhaps he should skip OLD and meet people live in person. That way you can go after women you actually find attractive.

You do need to come across fun & micheivious. Can you? That is where you fall short. Attitude issue.

 

[Canadian_Man]

Whats a proper mindset?

Not what you have.

Text her, no response.

She said in her profile she like breakfast dates. and doesn’t drink. Tbh she was, like 90% of women way under my league. I feel like most women get so easily offended by masculine men that you end up extremely nervous in order not to hurt their feelings by the amount of stupidity these girls are.

She has 2 big dogs that she clearly felt like were a burden when discussing them. And instead of speaking my mind that you should get rid of the devious mutts if they bother you that much, I sat silent listening to the stupid so I wouldn’t have a drink thrown in my face. On top of that this bittch ate her food like a dog. Like completely scarfed it down. I was going to make a comment but didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

I can be nice but sometimes the shyt is so antagonistic towards your intelligence im inclined to tell it like it is especially when the girl acts like her thang don’t stnk.

Also by the end of the date she said some passive aggressive comments, so at that point I kind of knew I had the upper hand.

What frustrates me is knowing I’m a good catch and women know this but still refuse to give me a go, even girls below my level.

I probably should have never even gone on the date with her cause im certain it was a power move on her part. She was the typical small town girl with a chip on her shoulder, with more regrets than accomplishment in life from most likely being arrogant.

Re-read what you wrote.


You have so much animosity towards women.

Women are generally very well fine tuned to reading a man's emotional state.

They also feel emotions more intensely.

Couple that with the tenancy of people to seek out good feelings and avoid negative feelings, it generally results in women quickly distancing themselves from people whom make them feel poorly, particularly when those people are relative strangers.

So let's play this out.

Imagine you are a relatively mentally healthy woman, and you meet the male you (without knowing it's you), and you as a woman pick up on your male version's anger towards women.

Ask yourself this now, would you, as a woman, want to associate with that guy?


There are multiple other indicators of your disdain for women in your post, but the following really stood out ... "a b*tch eating like a dog".

Even if she had poor table manners, that's not how someone whom generally likes or loves women would describe her way of eating.

Doesn't matter that you never said it directly to her.

These types of things get picked up on.


Part of this video discusses some of the above.

Starting from about 3 mins 14s to 8 mins 58s for the more relevant section.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Not what you have.



Re-read what you wrote.


You have so much animosity towards women.

Women are generally very well fine tuned to reading a man's emotional state.

They also feel emotions more intensely.

Couple that with the tenancy of people to seek out good feelings and avoid negative feelings, it generally results in women quickly distancing themselves from people whom make them feel poorly, particularly when those people are relative strangers.

So let's play this out.

Imagine you are a relatively mentally healthy woman, and you meet the male you (without knowing it's you), and you as a woman pick up on your male version's anger towards women.

Ask yourself this now, would you, as a woman, want to associate with that guy?


There are multiple other indicators of your disdain for women in your post, but the following really stood out ... "a b*tch eating like a dog".

Even if she had poor table manners, that's not how someone whom generally likes or loves women would describe her way of eating.

Doesn't matter that you never said it directly to her.

These types of things get picked up on.


Part of this video discusses some of the above.

Starting from about 3 mins 14s to 8 mins 58s for the more relevant section.

Always cracks me up when someone says "they are a good catch" when they don't even realize their actual disdain for woman makes them into a 1 regardless of how they look or what else they have going for them.

It literally overrides anything else and makes them virtually undatable unless a woman chooses to ignore it but that usually will only happen with women who have very low self esteem. Yet they ignore this and continue to wonder what they issue is because they can't figure it out.

How about actually like women?

 

[BeExcellent]

I dunno @BackInTheGame78 I think you might have frightened OP right off with your genius. Truth honestly. Hope he listens. A woman's number 1 need is security. Safety & security. Angry men cannot meet that need because angry men are adversarial and bitter.

No woman is going to feel safe with an angry dude she just met. Yikes.

Just like the jaded bitter women who think "all men suck". Each of those attitudes are UGLY, negative and repulsive. And then these repulsive people wonder why nobody wants to date them.

Gee, I wonder. Hmmmmmmmm.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I also wonder why people date if the attraction is this low.

Maybe it's my age, but I won't waste my time / effort / energy on lukewarm attraction, but maybe that's just me.

 

[Canadian_Man]

I also wonder why people date if the attraction is this low.

Maybe it's my age, but I won't waste my time / effort / energy on lukewarm attraction, but maybe that's just me.

This might not generalize to most men, but in my personal experience, it came from a miscalculation of the risk/reward analysis.

When I've tried to make it work with low-to-medium interest women, I didn't feel fulfilled as is, particularly feeling a lack in companionship. This resulted in a strong emotional pull towards that potential 'reward'.

The risk was underplayed, mostly due to naivety, as well as the likelihood of failure, and so, the attempt to 'make it work' was tried.

 

[Smok1nAce]

I agree, I probably do have to work on a more positive attitude.

I've been through alot of BS in the last years and am finally moving past it. I think the biggest problem I had was that the girl wasn't on my level to begin with. This stems from when I was in my early 20s I read alot of self help videos and alot of them pushed talking and being friends with anyone who was lacking socially. This mixed with my low-esteem at the time lead me down a bad path, where I was being used and manipulated. I suffered from extreme depression, agitation and anxiety while thinking it was because of me. I basically surrounded my self with the worst of society because I thought their was something lacking in me socially. By the time I knew what was happeing the dammage was done and all the burdons these people put on me had changed my personality for the worse.

I think this date was just a reminder that I need to start vetting people who want to be in my life, even if its just for a 15 min date or even a conversation. I suspect this woman probably goes on multiple dates and does this type of behavior as some kind of rush, knowing full well she has no intention of anything and if i vetted her properly I could have came to the conclusion.

Plus I'm starting to realize im actually very good looking, but have the attitude of a ugly ogor from the people Ive been hanging with.

 

[devilkingx2]

When I read the thread title I thought the story would be:

“ I had a great date and took her home afterwards, I woke up the next morning/in the night to see her deleting dating and social media apps off of my phone (how did she get my password?) is this a red flag”

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

This might not generalize to most men, but in my personal experience, it came from a miscalculation of the risk/reward analysis.

So, are your calculations of risk / reward analyses better now?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Plus I'm starting to realize im actually very good looking, but have the attitude of a ugly ogor from the people Ive been hanging with.

May be good looking but not good at spelling...your 3rd grade English teacher is crying herself to sleep right now...

I think the word you want is "ogre"

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I think the word you want is "ogre"

Maybe he's looking for a bespoke suit?

 

[Smok1nAce]

Yes ogre is what I meant

It just throws me of when I have a really positive go lucky attitude and people react with a really aggressive abrasive attitude for no reason.

Lots of women have told me I’m handsome and cute. I usually coughed it up to them being nice. I really have to start believing it myself. It kinda flips my entire world. I’m walking around with a giant chip on my shoulder sometimes because I’ve been badly gaslit growing up to think there was something wrong with me by usually average females who would call me ugly growing up and male friends who never gave me my “props” or made me constantly validate myself.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I never did OLD. Complete waste of time.

Back in my single days, OLD was not half bad. It probably went downhill with time.

Did you ever tried OLD? You probably never needed it in the first place.

 

[BeExcellent]

Back in my single days, OLD was not half bad. It probably went downhill with time.

Did you ever tried OLD? You probably never needed it in the first place.

Yes. I thought Ok., this must be efficient. I went on 3 dates from OLD (out of the hundreds of men who reached out to me via OLD.)

Each of the 3 men was blown away because I am *MUCH* prettier in person than I am in photos. Each became visibly nervous & commented thusly (that I was more attractive in person). While each of these 3 guys were worse looking in person than in photos (2 of them saying they were 5'11" when reality was more like 5'7", which means I towered over them in 5 inch heels.)

I thought Jesus. What a bunch of false advertising. So I blew off OLD after a sum total of 2 weeks (1 week each, 3 years apart.) I also found wading through a sea of mediocrity to be time consuming and much more investment than it was worth. My time is valuable. Why waste it sifting through OLD duds for hours when I can be out in an environment where I can enjoy myself and potentially meet someone who is both attractive and charming?

I mean even now, men hit on me like crazy. There is something about me beyond looks, perhaps confidence & sass, that men find beguiling. None of that comes across really in photos, and my face can look more angular in photos than in person, I'm very attractive, but not as photogenic as some women.

So for those reasons I ditched OLD. I've always gotten great results IRL so stick with what works.

 

[The Diver]

This stems from when I was in my early 20s I read alot of self help videos and alot of them pushed talking and being friends with anyone who was lacking socially. This mixed with my low-esteem at the time lead me down a bad path, where I was being used and manipulated

Op, a few days ago, I started a post about 4 types of men's conversations and interactions with women.
You're perfectly fit for the number 4 type.
The link is below. Read this post and my field report I add after it .Although my approach won't fit to everyone, It'll open your eyes to the possibility.
( I don't know if number one approach will work if you're looking for a LTR).

4 type of Men's conversations, interaction, and behavior style with women, and women reaction to it.

Men's conversations, interaction, and behavior style with women fall into one or more of four categories, and it's also about what most women want/don't want to hear and expect/not expect to hear from men. 1) Men who are saying what women Want to hear but mostly Not Expected to hear. These men...

www.sosuave.net

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I mean even now, men hit on me like crazy. There is something about me beyond looks, perhaps confidence & sass, that men find beguiling. None of that comes across really in photos, and my face can look more angular in photos than in person, I'm very attractive, but not as photogenic as some women.

I noticed the same thing. I do very well in person, but it takes a good photographer to take a good photo of me. And I used good photos on OLD when I tried it (I also put in my profile that I wasn't looking for a 'date' but for 'shibari models'), but I noticed not many people read profile texts, even and if I was moderately successful, it still cost a lot of time. Granted, I'd be swiping while taking a dump, but I'd rather read some interesting articles than scroll through dating profiles.

I think high quality individuals don't look for the 'convenience' of OLD, but prefer to meet someone in real life so they can see the things that don't come forward in a dating profile (like your beguiling confidence and sass).

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I think the punishment is a bit to hard to the OP. He doesn't seem to be having problem pulling out chicks but he's having problems figuring out a path forward with them which is something that doesn't get nearly the attention and discussion that it should on the forum (overwhelming discussion is about how to go about getting them in the first place). As men, I think its fair to demand much more from the women we date. If we as men demand more of these chicks, then you'd slowly but surely start to see changes in their behavior but most guys are failing miserably in this regard. I know for myself that I expect certain behaviors from women that I date and I'm not the least bit shy about communicating this, no fvcks given for how offended she gets. It also serves as a sh1t test to weed out stupid chicks. I agree with making yourself as high value as you can because then you can demand these things from women and if they want to be in your high value life then she needs to get down with the program, period.

OP, What you feel is what the majority of every non-natural posters on here feel. After that it's just a question of perspective.

The issues you seem to be having with women are the same issues people have with other people in general. Some of the same things I used to get angry about in front of the mirror when I lacked inner game and yes even God in my life.

If you can't slay tail and have them wrapped around your finger how are you going to manage a nice traditional girl that wants to start a family? You dont expect that to be less work do you? Sure, the right woman is a blessing but they all pull the same amount of sh1t eventually. The whole lot. Without having the constitution, vision, wisdom and all those great things that come with experience your chances of coming out ahead look dim.

Keep learning, don't get stagnant, don't let the state of women get you down. There are plenty of decent chicks out there that have that “happy gene” waiting for you to swipe them off their feet.

There’s a price to be paid for having women in your life. ONS, fwbs, girlfriends, wife, daughters, you pay, one way or the other. At some point, you become so accomplished (your game becomes second nature, your value goes up) the price seems smaller, but it's always there.

Switching lanes to you situation with this chick, I genuinely feel like if a woman is not interested in you for the first few seconds, it is a waste of time. Invest that energy in more viable options like making money or getting new leads.

Strong frame is when a girl is free to choose whatever she wishes and yet she still chooses to make the choices that would please you, due to the foundation you've laid (and need to continue to build on). Attempting to control the choice, to make it for her, is weak frame. And it's not effective in the long term anyway, as her conflicting desire never went away. Move on.

My opinion is that men would be better served putting in the effort to build an awesome life, look and feel their best and have a fully charged social battery to where less effort is required to pull women. Ditch the insidious apps and organically cold approach like our grandfathers once did. I’m talking about old school men who also had mistresses on the side. Handle it.

 

[SW15]

I also found wading through a sea of mediocrity to be time consuming and much more investment than it was worth. My time is valuable.

For different reasons, I found that using tech-based methods like dating websites (pre-app era) and dating apps was not a good and not an efficient use of my time. I consider my time to be valuable.

There are a small percentage of men that can find an efficiency (+ effectiveness) on their use of time with the swipe apps. I perceive most men's experience on swipe apps lacks both efficiency and effectiveness. Top tier men (who would be effective only using in-person methods) are the men who are able to realize a greater efficiency on swipe apps as compared to going to bars and doing real approaches and/or doing approaches in non-bar venues.

For women, the apps help them generate more interest than they would generate solely from in-person methods. A woman who goes to a bar 2-3 nights per week in order to start meeting men would only get approached a fraction of as much as she would get right swiped on while using an app. In a given week, a woman might get approached by 10 men in the real world (a possibility by actively going to bars). On a swipe app, she'll get 300 right swipes in a week. 300 is many more options than 10. Additionally, many women don't have a good day-to-day routine which enables them to get approached in-person regularly. This is more of a common occurrence for women late 20s+.

Many men also have the problem of not having a day-to-day routine that puts them in contact with enough single women.

The apps fall far short in delivering convenience in meeting sustainable mates for both sexes.

My opinion is that men would be better served putting in the effort to build an awesome life, look and feel their best and have a fully charged social battery to where less effort is required to pull women. Ditch the insidious apps and organically cold approach like our grandfathers once did. I’m talking about old school men who also had mistresses on the side. Handle it.

I generally agree. The one thing that you failed to mention is that men 2-3 generations ago who actually approached women did far fewer approaches that the typical man who has needed to approach in more recent times. Many of the approaches in those days were done early in life at places like high schools, churches, and community events. There was some bar approaching in the early 20th Century but it wasn't as prevalent as the time after the Sexual Revolution.