GF is saying she doesn’t trust me now bc of stupid IG. Should I just break up with her?

[zekko]

Your view on this is a good sell to some other men perhaps, but, unless the plan is for him to date other men, he needs to understand what doesn’t sell with girlfriends, and being disrespected, then expected to put up up disrespect, is a hard sell for a lot of women in their relationships. Men get dumped for this all the time.
If she was a plate, maybe it would be different? But he said GF, so I assume that means he was in a relationship with her and my post is based on that.
Despite what some people here like to believe, most women don’t want to be treated like crap. The ones that do? Well, those are the ones everyone here seems to complain about lol. The BPDs, etc.

I agree with what you're saying here, basically. But I'm a little confused about something:

See, I'm not on any social media, partly because I don't want to get caught up in the drama. But is it really wrong to have people of the opposite gender follow you on Facebook or Instagram or whatever it is? Surely most people have social media "friends" (or whatever you call them) that are both men and women. Are you telling me that a woman's Facebook page only has women friends? Why is it an issue that there are women who follow some guy's Instagram?

 

[Speculator E]

I agree with what you're saying here, basically. But I'm a little confused about something:

See, I'm not on any social media, partly because I don't want to get caught up in the drama. But is it really wrong to have people of the opposite gender follow you on Facebook or Instagram or whatever it is? Surely most people have social media "friends" (or whatever you call them) that are both men and women. Are you telling me that a woman's Facebook page only has women friends? Why is it an issue that there are women who follow some guy's Instagram?

It trigger's their fear of abandonment.
The dating marketplace is devolving to 20's and 30's women are functioning at teenage emotional level maturity.

 

[zekko]

It trigger's their fear of abandonment.

I can understand why they might get upset about it. But I'm not understanding why it's actually wrong. There are posters of both genders in this thread saying it's not cool. But why? I'm sure most people's social media pages have followers of both sexes.

 

[vanballmoos]

I can understand why they might get upset about it. But I'm not understanding why it's actually wrong. There are posters of both genders in this thread saying it's not cool. But why? I'm sure most people's social media pages have followers of both sexes.

its wrong when women are hitting on OP and he gives out his IG handle. It’s like a loophole for them to contact him without technically giving his number out aka keeping his options open like his girl said. If anyone is trying to make a pass at you while you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t be doing ish like that.

Imagine a time, let's call it the 1990s, a time before social media and only landlines and rudimentary cell phones exist;

Your girlfriend is at a bar with her friend and a guy approaches her and flirts with her, your girlfriend shuts him down but gives him her phone number but to shoo him away. How would that make you feel?

 

[AJ84]

I agree with what you're saying here, basically. But I'm a little confused about something:

See, I'm not on any social media, partly because I don't want to get caught up in the drama. But is it really wrong to have people of the opposite gender follow you on Facebook or Instagram or whatever it is? Surely most people have social media "friends" (or whatever you call them) that are both men and women. Are you telling me that a woman's Facebook page only has women friends? Why is it an issue that there are women who follow some guy's Instagram?

It’s not that he’s adding people of the opposite sex that’s an issue, people follow male/ female celebs, their friends, classmates etc etc.
The issue is that he’s adding random women he is meeting in public who he said he ‘shuts down’ implying that they are hitting on him, but then he adds them to his IG.
It’s like if she was being hit on by men, declined them, but then added them to her IG.
It’s cause for concern in that context.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I can understand why they might get upset about it. But I'm not understanding why it's actually wrong. There are posters of both genders in this thread saying it's not cool. But why? I'm sure most people's social media pages have followers of both sexes.

Because there is an unwritten and unspoken communication occurring that you must have had some sort of interaction with that person and if it happens at a club that interaction was likely not based on anything other than sexual interest.

And the communication is that you are fostering her interest in you in that way by adding her and perhaps even saying there is some interest back. Otherwise why would you add some random stranger you met for 30 minutes out at a club/ bar? Unless OP is female like in his need for validation.

 

[AJ84]

its wrong when women are hitting on OP and he gives out his IG handle. It’s like a loophole for them to contact him without technically giving his number out aka keeping his options open like his girl said. If anyone is trying to make a pass at you while you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t be doing ish like that.

Imagine a time, let's call it the 1990s, a time before social media and only landlines and rudimentary cell phones exist;

Your girlfriend is at a bar with her friend and a guy approaches her and flirts with her, your girlfriend shuts him down but gives him her phone number but to shoo him away. How would that make you feel?

Right, I never even considered that in order for him to add these girls, they would have to know his IG handle because you can’t easily find someone on IG without that. So he’s likely also giving out his handle.
Honestly, if he’s getting hit by on by random girls and clearly is entertaining the potential by adding them to his IG, maybe he’s better off being single and free to enjoy this, rather than causing his gf more pain.

 

[vanballmoos]

Is not the idea of IG to gain followers???

Oh so getting more followers is more important than respecting your relationship? Unless he’s a social media influencer who needs more followers for more $$ or 15 yrs old bc he’s an insecure boy who needs validation-who gives af about more followers? He’s a THIRTY year old man (use that word loosely here) the last thing he should care about in life is more followers or who is following him. No adult should care that much about social media. So don’t feed that bs line that isn’t the purpose of IG to get more followers. That’s a weak argument and you know it.

 

[vanballmoos]

Hey azzhat it was the cherry on the epic dismantelung of this white knight save a ho feed back. Re read from the beginning.

The Idea of IG is followers. I dont make the rules bud. Its called "social media"
I dont even use it.

The fact that the cucks in here are telling this man to put up with this from a woman is comical. Theres those that learn and those that dont.
Im the former. But by all means follow your silly logic.

and you follow your logic. I’m sure it will lead to you being alone one day. There’s a reason why you’re pretty much the only one taking OP’s side here.

 

[AJ84]

Is not the idea of IG to gain followers???

What you’re debating makes sense if the context wasn’t him adding girls that hit on him to his IG, which requires him giving them his IG handle.

What if you wife was doing the exact same thing as him, getting hit on by men and declining but giving them her IG handle to add them as followers. You call her on it and she says ‘husband, is not the idea of IG to gain followers???’

Unless you’re ok with her doing something like that?

 

[AJ84]

AJ my wife gets hit on everywhere she goes. Theres no safe space here.
Him pointing the girls to his IG is nothing more to me then a friend zoning especially after declining her advances.
Now with that said if my wife knows that im being hit on and declining telling them im not available should and IS enough for to be the end of discussion.
Period.
No amount of IG followers would ever over ride my words to her. I am her God. If i tell her to stop she will.
I dont alliow girls to raise their voice to me.
My 14 yr old daughter doesnt. Neither does my wife. If they don't like it then they can find other people to live with.
Now. That doesnt mean im not fun. I am. Im actually quite energetic and funny. Fun is my carrot.
But respect is a mans honor from his woman. Period.
If OP doesn't get that he will have trouble. Especially if he marries this one.

Monogamy is an agreement. Its not always been that way. Men used to have many women. And they were his property and he was their leader.
We are evolving. IG is just part of it.

But if your wife had an IG account and added these men that are hitting on her. You ok with that? If you tell her she will stop but if you were doing the same thing and she didn’t like it is she supposed to just put up with it because you’re her God? Your wife and child are just property in your home whose feelings don’t matter, or..? like come on do you feel that she deserves respect too if she’s a good wife and mother or is that only afforded to the husband.

 

[17 shots]

This thread is like watching my close friends argue. They're both so passionate about their argument that I don't want to pick sides

 

[AJ84]

Your reaching again AJ. You dont understand the lives of beautiful women. Im not talking trailor park girls. My wife does have FB. I dont worry about petty things like FB. If i were to keep tabs on everywhere she will get hit on i would die of stress bro.
The God term is a figure of speech. And yes their thoughts matter.
What your saying a person has a right to raise there voice all over you because they have feelings and are emotional. Lmao. Really?
Half these dumb threads wouldn't even exist if dudes would study this stuff and learn what indifference is.

Paranoia over a cheater is a mental disorder.if she wants to fck chad shes going to fck chad and most of the time the idiots wont even know it happened.
The guys up on their LTR game wont even get to thst point because they sense it months before it even happens.

As for OPs girl. She very well can be flipping out about IG one day and 2 days later be balls deep at work in an empty office if hes not paying attention to the underlying current. Dont kid yourself with the fairy tale shyt.
Women dont work that way. Everytime i see "fiercely loyal" on an OLD profile a laugh.
Women are not romantic loyalists. They are pragmatic opportunistic lovers.

Ive covered my position here fairly extensively and also quoting OPs exact words. The rest of you are just assuming outcomes which seems to be comon in this feminine western culture.

No I’m not saying a person has a right to raise their voice all over you because they have feelings. I agree with you that it’s not acceptable to have someone freak out on you. We’re on the same page about that. Maybe OP’s girl didn’t react in the best way but it’s certainly understandable why she is upset. I mean he told her he is adding females that are hitting on him to his IG and doesn’t see the issue.

Speaking of reading comprehension -I’ve indicated throughout the thread that I’m a female. Just want to clarify that again.

But listen I have nothing against you string, I agree with some of what you’re saying and disagree with other parts. I’m going to leave it at that but it was interesting.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Rookies. You’re learning this the hard way. Social media destroys relationships. Unless it is your business page, stay the **** off social media.

 

[vanballmoos]

AJ my wife gets hit on everywhere she goes. Theres no safe space here.
Him pointing the girls to his IG is nothing more to me then a friend zoning especially after declining her advances.
Now with that said if my wife knows that im being hit on and declining telling them im not available should and IS enough for to be the end of discussion.
Period.
No amount of IG followers would ever over ride my words to her. I am her God. If i tell her to stop she will.
I dont alliow girls to raise their voice to me.
My 14 yr old daughter doesnt. Neither does my wife. If they don't like it then they can find other people to live with.
Now. That doesnt mean im not fun. I am. Im actually quite energetic and funny. Fun is my carrot.
But respect is a mans honor from his woman. Period.
If OP doesn't get that he will have trouble. Especially if he marries this one.

Monogamy is an agreement. Its not always been that way. Men used to have many women. And they were his property and he was their leader.
We are evolving. IG is just part of it.

Dude, you saying that is such a problem. No wonder you keep spewing this nonsense. No one should ever view you as their God and you shouldn’t want anyone to view you as such. Sounds controlling and just twisted.

 

[Speculator E]

I can understand why they might get upset about it. But I'm not understanding why it's actually wrong. There are posters of both genders in this thread saying it's not cool. But why? I'm sure most people's social media pages have followers of both sexes.

It's more out of respect for the girl. Like when you get married you promise not to chase other women. There is a limit though but it's subjective. On the extreme side some feminist are trying to push 'micro-cheating'

 

[zekko]

The issue is that he’s adding random women he is meeting in public who he said he ‘shuts down’ implying that they are hitting on him, but then he adds them to his IG.

Okay, I can understand that concept, but riddle me this: Don't you think women's social media pages are full of orbiters? Don't you think a lot of the guys on a girl's page actually would like to get in her pants, whether or not they are hitting on her?

It just seems a lot of what the OP is doing is saying to these girls "Hey, I have a girlfriend, but we can be friends. Here's my IG." Which strikes me as something girls would do routinely. Good for the goose but not the gander?

 

[Epic Days]

So a woman can have orbiters but a man can’t. Interesting.

when a woman says she doesn’t have male friends...she’s a lier.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I assure you my friend. Your first GOD is your parent. Understand?
If you dont then your parents are the devil.
You are a GOD and as soon as you figure that out well your going to be as happy as Cooter under the hood of the General Lee. And staring at Daisy Dukes camel toe.

You have NPD written all over you bro. Now it all makes sense.

Narcissistic personality disorder - Symptoms and causes

www.mayoclinic.org

 

[Speculator E]

Okay, I can understand that concept, but riddle me this: Don't you think women's social media pages are full of orbiters? Don't you think a lot of the guys on a girl's page actually would like to get in her pants, whether or not they are hitting on her?

It just seems a lot of what the OP is doing is saying to these girls "Hey, I have a girlfriend, but we can be friends. Here's my IG." Which strikes me as something girls would do routinely. Good for the goose but not the gander?

Yes, it's f*** up just like a lot other things in today's world.
Don't overthink this. Just accept how things are. And if you're smart enough figure out a way to work around it.
Social media was made and designed for women and give them what they want: Validation.