field report - date went well. or did it? what next?

[Lost In Translation]

i dunno.

maybe his *this is what I WANT to do* and you are welcome to tag along angle might work

this is my reality and you can tag along chicky babe

for ogre i think this action date works

he has a sense of humour that maybe lingers in the minds of the women he chats to online ( you crack me up ogre )

by going out somewhere PUBLIC and getting plenty of social proof it sends a very clear message to the chick OGRE IS NORMAL and OGRE IS COOL and knows how to party party

girl after having time of her life with ogre : "wow ogre i had such a great time is your life always so crazy and full of fun and adventure"

orge looking across at naked panting women on his bed plays it cool : " yeah chicky babe , all day , every day but wait till a car almost hits us while we are on the bike now THATS A RUSH "



Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“ the 'pimp' mentality works today because you are living in a time such that there are an overabundance if hors - this is the Pimps playground!! Pimps and hors go together like bread and butter - they are complementary natures!!! Pimps need hors like hors need pimps!! “

 

[iveyleeger]

in the end . . .

whatever works.

But I was just asked for a raincheck by email last week. My response:

"I'll call you."

A raincheck would have said, "Available." And you want to be a challenge. On the call we just discussed the current date.

Generally, I never give a woman anything that she wants without making her work for it. I do that not just with dates, but friends, clients, and even my family!

In this case, let her work for the bike ride. She will like it that much more in the end. This is all to your advantage.

Have a good time!

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Lost In Translation


by going out somewhere PUBLIC and getting plenty of social proof it sends a very clear message to the chick OGRE IS NORMAL and OGRE IS COOL and knows how to party party

Social proof. Right. But social proof of what? That he is a normal (i.e average.. regular guy, whom she can find everytwhere). He is cool to party with...i.e. he can invite her to parties.. where she can have fun WITHOUT ogre with some other cool dudes. Sure she may like it...Still cool for ogre?

Plus why would he want to show her that he can party? Who cannot? 99% of guys can party. Is there anythig there at the party that shows he is unique? No. Smart? No. Good dating material for her? No. It shows he loves to have fun..drink, dance whatever. And have same kind of friends who love to drink and dance. It will work for somebody from 18 to 25 perfectly. If she is 28 she will think more about how he fits into LTR frame. What qualities he has.

Plus I dont think ogre wants to hit on chicks in 18-25 range anyway.

 

[al77]

Re: in the end . . .

Originally posted by iveyleeger
But I was just asked for a raincheck by email last week. My response:

"I'll call you."

A raincheck would have said, "Available." And you want to be a challenge.

Good stuff!
I was asked for raincheck too by email recently for the first date... and I didn't make a good decision: I said "I am busy tomorrow, call me on monday"... huh, she is obviously is not going to call, too much "work" for her to call a guy she dosn't know and ask for a date.

Would you share some example how you make women work for somehting?

 

[Lost In Translation]

A Street Pimp's Perspective...

his friends in the band are playing

if he wasn't taking this chick out he would be there anyway

it's what orge wants to do

it's his vibe it's his scene

if she doesn't fit into his world in his natural enviroment what makes you think spending 2 dates having dinner and talking $hit about saving whales is going to do

he after 2 dates takes her to his realm and she see's the music the lifestyle he lives the type of people he hangs with and goes ogre if we get married you cannot hang out here anymore i don't like it here

Quote - al77
Is there anythig there at the party that shows he is unique? No. Smart? No. Good dating material for her? No. It shows he loves to have fun..drink, dance whatever.

orge jumps up on stage and jams with a harmonica not unique ?

it shows he knows how to have FUN

there are some boring people out there

Quote - al77
It will work for somebody from 18 to 25 perfectly. If she is 28 she will think more about how he fits into LTR frame. What qualities he has.

Plus I dont think ogre wants to hit on chicks in 18-25 range anyway.

ogre do you want hot b*tches 18 - 25 ?

i think he does but we'll see what he says

he is 40 and he has motor bikes COME ON ofcourse a hot 22 year old chick would look good hanging off the back of orge on his Suzuki


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Lost In Translation

if she doesn't fit into his world in his natural enviroment what makes you think spending 2 dates having dinner and talking $hit about saving whales is going to do
it shows he knows how to have FUN
ogre do you want hot b*tches 18 - 25 ?

I think on the first date you gotta show some of your personality as well as figure out hers. It just dosnt happen at movies or concerts. You are right in what you say, but it is more imporatnt to
present your persoanlity first, than just to show "I like to have fun". It reminds me about dance clubs: you cannot hear anyone, but can pickup some chicks without much words. If that would ogre wants to do: then your advice is good.
I just don't think ogre in his 40 wants to use dance club approach to dating... and not sure he wants to fish in that age range either. I might be wrong though.

So, ogre, what do you want?

 

[ogre]

So, ogre, what do you want?

to get her so wound up over me that she takes me home on the first date....but for now I'd be happy if she returns my page. until then this is all speculation...

she says she wants a "rain check" on the bike ride......I'm just obliging her.... is that so bad?

oh btw at this "party" my friend often has guest musicians. he MIGHT ask me to come up on stage for a tune. I'm bringing my harmonicas just in case....

*this is what I WANT to do* and you are welcome to tag along ....... this is my reality and you can tag along chicky babe

that's kinda what I'm going for.... followed by we go to dinner so I can get to know YOU

american girls I think 25+ is best. foreigners maybe younger.

-= -=-= -= -= -=
as of now it's 10 PM and the weather turned out to be perfect. crap.... and not a peep from shorty. so I guess she's out partying w/someone else. she di not return my page. Double-crap...... tomorrow night the weather is gonna be a total mess. Here I had it all lined up perfect and I then I go and f*ck it up. Damn....

 

[iveyleeger]

If it makes you feel any better I had a perfect opening in a bookstore 10 min's ago and what did I do with it? Nothing.

So, how do you guys pickup women in bookstores at the magazine rack? This is one skill I'd like to master before I die or get married.

 

[ogre]

um no that doesn't help.... I have a week & half of email & calls invested in this.

after consulting with 3 friends locally they all said I should back out of Saturday too, because driving through new york city traffic in the rain in my beat-up van and then looking for a parking space is like a bad idea. if any of you live around here you know what I'm talking about. Not fun. AND being a 40-yr old white guy driving a beat-up work van might give the wrong impression......
they also all agree that I totaly f*cked up by changing the date. I made my plans based on a bad weather report.

Sunday weather is gonna be perfect. She wants to ride.... so....

now what do I do?

I think "worry" got me into this mess. if I didn't worry so much I woulda just stuck with Friday. wednesday I had her in my pocket. now I've totally destroyed my own inner game. F*CK!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by ogre
...I think "worry" got me into this mess. if I didn't worry so much I woulda just stuck with Friday. wednesday I had her in my pocket. now I've totally destroyed my own inner game. F*CK!

Notice that what you were worried about were external things which you have no control. Consider if the emphasis of the date was you and not what you did or where you went? You are the only thing that you can ever have any type of control over. Believe it or not, it's much easier when you put the emphasis on you and not on things that are completely out of your control.

Just something to consider...

 

[ogre]

OK I was having an anxiety attack....sorry......

let's take a look out how this happened:

the one time she called me was on a wednesday during the day, from work. that's when I made the Friday date. I was ambiguous about exactly what I had in mind, and actually I had no plan for what to do or where to go. So we agreed that I'd figure something out and discuss the next day. So I guess the Friday date was never really confirmed.

thursday morning I got word about my friend's gig. So I figured this would be something we could do....always better to have a plan, right? you don't wanna go on a date and say "gee I dunno, what do YOU wanna do?"

anyway... tonight the weather was perfect and tomorrow is gonna suck, so I felt like a total jackass for nixing friday.

however, in retrospect, I did what I did because I had no plan for friday but I did have one for Saturday. That was my thinking.

You're right, fransisco. I'm gonna stick to my plan, rain or shine. even if it means having to pick her up in a beat-up chevy. I can't control the weather. I can't expect the goddam stars to be aligned. A DJ is a DJ rain or shine. Hey, half these clowns in NY don't even have a car and they still score.

all I can do now is sit tight and wait for a reply. if she really wants to ride with me let's see how well she behaves tonight....

btw I took 2 hits of Kava Root extract (available from any health food store) takes the edge off......

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Don't sit back and wait, keep sarging. Keep practicing, it will help keep your mind occupied and not focus on the outcome of just one experience.

 

[ogre]

Don't sit back and wait, keep sarging

no, what I mean is, I can't do anything about shorty except wait for her reply. the ball is in her court. I can always go to the gig w/out her. there will be plenny of women there.

one thing that really bothers me about her as that she's been playing the voice-mail game with me from the very first call. that's unusual. she doesn't return my calls, but will return an email, a day later. at least that's the pattern. I asked if she had a # at work so I can call during the day and she says "page me at this # and I'll call you right back" and then she does not.

I got the feeling from her original ad that she is used to dating game-players and so is hip to some game. playing hard-to-get, maybe waiting me out to see if I'll crack and do something wussy. making sure not to write/call me on a Friday night 'cause a fun girl like her must be out having a good time. testing to see if I truly have cajones or if it was all just talk.

hey...christie just wrote back to me....ya never know....

 

[iveyleeger]

What is Kava Root extract?

 

[al77]

Originally posted by iveyleeger
If it makes you feel any better I had a perfect opening in a bookstore 10 min's ago and what did I do with it? Nothing.
So, how do you guys pickup women in bookstores at the magazine rack? .

What was the opener and why consider it perfect? Let us know...

From yo other posts I noticed you are quite good at convo with women, so you asked a wong question "how do you...", you should ask yourself "why I cannot pickup..."?

Why? How bookstores are different from all ohther places for you?

 

[al77]

Originally posted by ogre
.... I have a week & half of email & calls invested in this.

I think "worry" got me into this mess..now I've totally destroyed my own inner game. F*CK!

Here is quick "pill" that will cure you instantly:
go online and start pickup another woman, preferbly women.
Inthis way you will redirect you energy toward way about how to deal with those other women, i.e. you wont have time\energy to worry about her plus you will learn more by talking to some other chicks.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by ogre

I was ambiguous about exactly what I had in mind, and actually I had no plan for what to do or where to go. So we agreed that I'd figure something out and discuss the next day.

I took 2 hits of Kava Root extract (available from any health food store) takes the edge off......

Why were you ambiguous, what was the purpose of being ambiguous? If you don't have anything in mind go for coffee and convo, and mention something that you talked about with her by email. If you are going to setup a date and say nothing, you will not have a date. Discuss next day is not good: come up with a simple idea, setup the time and thats it.
Next day she may change her mind, or you just will not able to reach her over the phone. Forget it. Setup the date right away.

Kava Root - what is it for? I would not realy on those extertal thing - you may like the effect and start taking it regularly... then at one day you may just cancel a date becuse you didn't take your kava root....anyway, work on your inner state, not on external stuff.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by ogre
one thing that really bothers me about her as that she's been playing the voice-mail game with me from the very first call. that's unusual. she doesn't return my calls, but will return an email, a day later. at least that's the pattern. I asked if she had a # at work so I can call during the day and she says "page me at this # and I'll call you right back" and then she does not.
... playing hard-to-get, maybe waiting me out to see if I'll crack and do something wussy.

This is a common and strange problem: it happens to me all teh time: she writes decent emails all is fine. When we moved to the phone stage, she didn't pick up the phone, didn't return messages.... she is not interested? Ha! She replies to emails saying some BS adn "yeah feel free to call me" and again didn't pcik up the phone.
Obvious solution is just NEXT her, but at this point of time we invested quiet a lot of time in her...
Why do women do that? guys, any advice better than nexting?

 

[ogre]

kava extract

for reducing stress and anxiety. go to your health food store for more info.

When we moved to the phone stage, she didn't pick up the phone, didn't return messages.... she is not interested? Ha! She replies to emails saying some BS and "yeah feel free to call me" and again didn't pick up the phone.

I agree. I'm lost on this one. Maybe she's trying to play me.

it's 2:00 she shoulda got back to me by now. if I don't hear from her by 3 the date's off. I have to close up my shop early, send my helper home and then get my self cleaned up just to make this date. and I'm not thrilled about the weather. I don't mind moving the date to tomorrow.

I am thinking of sending the following email:

Hi I didn't hear from you so I'm heading to the gig without you. I know you really want to ride with me and have me all to yourself for a day, and today just wasn't the day for it. Not a problem. I'd rather go riding anyway. tomorrow the weather is gonna be nice and I'm gonna go riding up North, prolly be out all day. So if you're into that sorta thing gimme a call early, like no later than 11, ok? so be a good girl tonight and get some rest.

what do you think?

 

[al77]

Originally posted by ogre
I agree. I'm lost on this one. Maybe she's trying to play me.

I am thinking of sending the following email:
what do you think? [/B]

I have read some excellent posts about "why she doesn call back". The idea is very simple: she doesn't have enough INTEREST. If she does have it, she will be more available and at least find a way to let you know what is going on.

Now, lets apply this: she is probably getting some other replies from dudes in their 30s and dates them as well. She doesn't mind dating you, but she's got some other "priorities": we have to face it: is she doesn't reply.. call.. and flake out she is not interested in you, not interested enough. It is not pleasant to know that after some weeks of online convo she is just "mellow"... but it is what it is.

Conclusion: do not waste your time emailing her with wordy emails: she reads a lot of emails from other dudes anyway.
I would not send her anything... because... what is the reasons? You think after she reads your emails she will fall in love with you and her interest level jumps? No way.

Forget about this flaky chick.. for a week. Send her a very short line after that. 99% though she wont reply. Meanwhile go online and starting talking to some other women. send more emails and concentrate on their qualities in terms of c&f.
Are you first emails c&f? Would you share some of them?