Looking back over my post, I feel that it may have been misinterpreted as a condemning of AlphaGirl, which was not my intention. Since I do not wish to judge nor condemn anyone, if this was misintepreted as a personal attack, I am sorry. It was not my intention.
I sometimes use the word "You" in the figurative sense, instead of using 'one'.
So this was not my intent to point fingers at AlphaGirl.
However, please understand that my post was meant to be pointed, to draw attention to the characteristics that are so prevalent in many 'independent' women today. And all these women seem to have the same problems,and unfortunately, the same BLIND spots. They cannot recognize HOW they are affecting the men in their lives. And the main reason almost always comes back to the 'I dont need a man!" notion.
It's great for a woman to be independent. But to be dominant and not showing an understanding of her femenine
vulnerability comes across as
imbalanced to men.
THIS is what I was trying to get across. Because I see the
Urgency in these critical situations. They don't.
If we can all start to view Male and Female dynamics in the Magnetic perspective, we can see better just WHAT EXACTLY it IS that ATTRACTS us or REPELS us.
This is CRUCIAL to understand.
To reflect on oneself and try to see what one is doing to attract and repel, serves
everyone better.
Women must understand that men want them to be successful and independent. But not to the point where they gleefully shout out to the world how much 'they dont need a Man'.
Look, I'll be honest...there are few things are absolutely REPULSIVE to a man than a woman proclaiming how she doesnt NEED a man.
Ill say it again, it is an Attraction KILLER. You will keep us away in droves.
Again, that attitude is a subcommunication that REPELS masculine men.
We sense it.
We see you are self satisfied and well....ok....good luck with that, since you dont want us around....
THAT is how we interpret it.
Men do not want to be competing with a woman who wants to dominate everything. After a while, if we're with you, we'll tend to just shut up and let you have your way, since we feel so uncomfortable and awkward competing with you, we want peace, and eventually a lot of those men just want peace and let you do whatever you want....which is exactly what you dont NEED.
So these well meaning but soft backboned men, just want some peace,and want to keep you happy, thinking that you NEED to dominate everything...
But that is what REPELS YOU.
So both are left unsatisfied.
And I also
dont believe that the notion of not teling a man what he is doing wrong or what is repelling you, or not telling him what you DO want is
working for ANYONE.
"well...he's a Man, he
should know ...and I aint gonna tell him sh*t, because he should know, he's a
man, and well.. if he dont know, then I aint telling him...yada yada..."
IT AINT WORKING.
If you dont assert what you want, need , and like, and what you dont Want,
neither HE nor YOU will truly GAIN and learn and GROW.
You're left resenting him for not being psychic, and he's left with wondering just what the Hell is happening.
It doesnt work!!!
It is OK to tell a guy that you're not happy, and there are certaing things he isnt doing or understanding. It is OK.
If you treat him with respect as an adult man, believe me, he can be way closer to self realizing himself as a masculine man who takes charge.
Perhaps you may want to recognize that many men do not spend much of their lives daydreaming about romance, and you can appreciate that a lot of guys just go by what Hollywood says is romantic, not by what YOU personally enjoy. We are not wired like you, so we approach dating differently. Are you ok with that? Sometimes what we believe you may enjoy is not what
you want. Its ok to tell us that.
But treat us with
respect.
You dont
have to 'raise' us. Or treat us like
children.
You'd be surprised how a Man can wake up and assume his masculine dominance and leadership role when you communicate to him
as a Mature, confident and Masculine man you
wish him to be.
Believe me, we would rather you treat us as respectable, mature gentlemen, who can take constrcutive criticsm, than some dim witted goof who isnt even worth you explaining your specific and personal wants and desires with him.
So, I hope my post isnt interpreted as a personal attack. It is meant to help. It is also meant to help the lurking female posters who also may be in your same shoes.
Good luck. I hope this helps.
Interceptor
Interceptor said:
AphaGirl,
one thing to remember is that one of the KEY , Critical Traits that Men find attractive in a Femenine woman, is her Vulnerability.
Men are attracted to Femenine women who are comfortable with their Vulnerability.
You must think in terms of Magnetism and Polarities here.
Femenine men are drawn to Masculine/Dominant women, because they are attracted to that which they feel they do not have.These men are looking for their masculinity, and validation of their masculinity.
In every relationship there is a Yin and Yang mechanism. Most men feel comfortable in the Yang, and most women feel comfortable in the Yin.
But when you reverse the roles, you have disfunction sometimes.
It is a reversed or inversed mechanism.
But these women, though masculine and dominant, are still women and hetero.
Thus, they are still attracted to masculinity and dominance.
So it takes an ULTRA masculine man to magnetize and make the polarity switch for her.
But these men are not looking for masculine/dominant women to polarize. (Hence the phrase all these inverted women repeat "where have all the men gone?" and the answer to that is they're here, just not looking for a manly female like YOU.)
EDIT: This is not meant to refer to you personally, AG.
They're attracted to those femenine women who are Comfortable with their VULNERABILITY.
Men DO NOT WANT to BE with WOMEN whom are COMPETING with them.
You're not flaunting your money, you're flaunting your invulnerability, and your not needing a man in your life.
EDIT: This is not an attack. It is an impression that I have seen women do all too often. They are very proud of their success, and believe many men want to know about it. But honestly, we dont. Not in the way you think it will.
When you advertise those things, you are advertising attraction killers.
"Im tough, dominant, and independent and I dont need a Man!"
Not sexy. Not attractive.
Thats a slogan to STAY SINGLE.
You push us away with that, not attract us.
No wonder you dont find satisfaction in the dating world.
EDIT: Thats just tough love, AG. Not a personal attack. Believe me when I say this is meant to wake you up and help you. I have personally seen WAyyyyy too many women experience this exact same thing.
