Enough is enough, time for a change journal.

thunder_god

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Week 22 day 2: I am extremely angry at myself for always ****ing things up with women. These past 3 weeks I must have lost out on over 5-6 opportunities to hook up with girls. First it was with that hot blonde chick that thursday night at the pub who was dtf at my place which I totally ****ed up. Next was at the nightclub this past friday where I had three opportunities but ****ed it all up. That fat chick told me she liked me yet I didn't do jack$hit with it. That other girl who pulled me to the dance floor I also ****ed up, and to top it all off, I blew off my oneitis who wanted to grind with me and ruined her night. Today I blew another opportunity with another chick. She was my last set and I opened her because a bee was hovering around her. She knocked it away but then I lied and said it was still behind her to open her. We talked for about 15 minutes about random $hit and then she invited me to a poetry reading 1.5 hrs later. I had improv comedy class so I suggested she come with me to that instead or that she come with me first then I would go with her. She wouldn't accept it but kept on suggesting that I go with her to the poetry reading. I just number closed her and went to my improv comedy class. Stupid, really ****ing stupid. I'm not even going to bother to write about the other 4 sets I opened before her. Seriously wtf is the matter with me? How the **** can I be this bad with women? OMFG!!! This is seriously pathetic. Holy ****!!!

When the **** am I ever going to learn? How many more women will I have to screw up with before I finally use my ****ing brain?
 

thunder_god

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Here is a recording of my 4th set today. It was weak as $hit due to me being nervous as hell. My mind was pretty much completely blank during the whole interaction and I couldn't pull anything out of my head to talk to her.

http://yourlisten.com/thunder_god/week-22-day-2-set-4
 

TheMonkeyKing

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thunder_god said:
Week 22 day 2: I am extremely angry at myself for always ****ing things up with women. These past 3 weeks I must have lost out on over 5-6 opportunities to hook up with girls. First it was with that hot blonde chick that thursday night at the pub who was dtf at my place which I totally ****ed up. Next was at the nightclub this past friday where I had three opportunities but ****ed it all up. That fat chick told me she liked me yet I didn't do jack$hit with it. That other girl who pulled me to the dance floor I also ****ed up, and to top it all off, I blew off my oneitis who wanted to grind with me and ruined her night. Today I blew another opportunity with another chick. She was my last set and I opened her because a bee was hovering around her. She knocked it away but then I lied and said it was still behind her to open her. We talked for about 15 minutes about random $hit and then she invited me to a poetry reading 1.5 hrs later. I had improv comedy class so I suggested she come with me to that instead or that she come with me first then I would go with her. She wouldn't accept it but kept on suggesting that I go with her to the poetry reading. I just number closed her and went to my improv comedy class. Stupid, really ****ing stupid. I'm not even going to bother to write about the other 4 sets I opened before her. Seriously wtf is the matter with me? How the **** can I be this bad with women? OMFG!!! This is seriously pathetic. Holy ****!!!

When the **** am I ever going to learn? How many more women will I have to screw up with before I finally use my ****ing brain?
Sounds like you've got women falling at your feet(!) and you're defeating yourself somehow. Also seems like you've made a lot of progress over the last few months. We are our own worst critics, but try not to beat yourself up so much. The moment you realise how well you're doing is the same moment it all starts falling in to place.

How do you think you've f*cked up?
 

thunder_god

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Mr_Stinky said:
We should game together bro
pm your # and we'll arrange something.
 

thunder_god

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TheMonkeyKing said:
Sounds like you've got women falling at your feet(!) and you're defeating yourself somehow. Also seems like you've made a lot of progress over the last few months. We are our own worst critics, but try not to beat yourself up so much. The moment you realise how well you're doing is the same moment it all starts falling in to place.

How do you think you've f*cked up?
For that first hot blonde, I didn't try to pull her when she said "ya after party", but to be fair, I didn't have a play downtown yet and lived in the suburbs but I could have still tried to **** her like in a washroom or something. For the fat chick, I should have tried to get her alone somewhere at the club and potentially go for a makeout and # close. As for the girl who I danced with, I got amoged and also wasn't aggressive enough on the dance floor. As for my oneitis, I could have potentially tried to isolate her as well after dancing with her and go for the makeout and then try to pull her.

BTW that chick who I number closed yesterday, I texted her today asking her out and she seems down. I'm now just decided on the logistics on how to pull this off. Hopefully it will be a success and I will finally get my first lay!
 

thunder_god

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Week 22 day 3: Weather was pretty $hitty today as it rained all day making daygame very difficult. I went out sarging with little Tony but he ended up hooking his first set and walking off never to be seen again lol. This lead to me developing serious approach anxiety and unable to approach at all. I ended up buying an umbrella since it was raining too hard. My best buddy had called me and told me to come meet him somewhere downtown since a girl he met was going to be there with her friends. So I quickly tried to walk there. On my way there, I saw a girl who didn't have an umbrella. I ended up opening her with the umbrella lol. We chatted for a bit and when I saw her face, I was kind of surprised that she was pretty hot. I walked her to the mall with my umbrella. The conversation was very short though like 2-3 minutes. She told me she was going to do some shopping for herself but she seemed kind of into the conversation. I could have had an instadate with her but I ****ed up and ejected to meet up with my buddy. He ended up going inside to the tiff event with the girl and her friends and bailing on me lol before I got there, ****! I blew an opportunity for an instadate and number close for nothing. Anyways I then head home and get hit up by a few wings for going to a club tonight. I also had a stand up comedy show to attend to with all of my new classmates and my old classmates during orientation month. I was hoping that if my oneitis showed up that I could try and patch things up with her, but I went on facebook and it looked like she was trying to sell her ticket lol.

Anyways I head on over to the stand up comedy show. I deliberately decide to sit beside some girls from the new incoming class that I didn't know. They didn't seem too eager to talk to me and didn't really make any eye contact. Anyways I was just about to open them when another girl comes by and sits right beside me. I immediately open her and we start chatting. She mentions that she loves stand up comedy and that she hasn't been to one before. I use this as an opportunity to invite her out to improv comedy class. I tell her"
ok your coming with me next week to my improv comedy class", and she is like "ya, when?" or something. Seemed like she was really down. So I number close her. During the stand up comedy show I end up getting picked on lol. I forgot to avoid sitting in the front rows lol. I didn't see my oneitis at the show, but I did see that fat piece of $hit that she hooked up with there.

Afterwards, I head home and my best buddy who ditched me earlier calls me and tells me to head over to a bar that he and the girl and her friends are at. I immediately leave my apartment and head on over in the rain. I show up all soaked and wet. I didn't want to bring my umbrella because I wouldn't be able to dance at the nightclub holding it and it would look weird. Anyways I chat up his girl and meet her friends. There's a guy, and two girls. Only one of the girls is cute, however it quickly becomes apparent that she and that guy are a couple and her friends don't seem too eager to talk to me. The girl that my buddy is seeing on the other hand is very eager to talk to me. Anyways I stay for a little bit and then hit up the nightclub with one of my wings. This time I tried to use verbal game at the nightclub. The dancefloor was closed off today and there was a enormous amount of dudes there today and not enough women. I think I approached like 6-7 sets, and my wing did something similar. Overall I think we did around 12 sets together. I had trouble hooking sets and continuing the conversation. My brain just kept on going blank. I hate that! There weren't much targets left at the place so we left and headed home. It was pouring rain outside and I got home all drenched in rain water and my shoes soaked but I guess you got to pay your dues if you want to get good.

Lastly I decided to try to get that chick who I number closed yesterday out on a date so I texted her. Surprisingly she texted me back and seemed to be down. Now I'm in the process of planning out the logistics so that I can pull her to my place. I want to pick a bar/pub that is near my apartment so in case she flakes I'm not really at a lost. Hopefully I can get her out and seal the deal.
 
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JaegerPilot217

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thunder_god said:
For that first hot blonde, I didn't try to pull her when she said "ya after party", but to be fair, I didn't have a play downtown yet and lived in the suburbs but I could have still tried to **** her like in a washroom or something. For the fat chick, I should have tried to get her alone somewhere at the club and potentially go for a makeout and # close. As for the girl who I danced with, I got amoged and also wasn't aggressive enough on the dance floor. As for my oneitis, I could have potentially tried to isolate her as well after dancing with her and go for the makeout and then try to pull her.

BTW that chick who I number closed yesterday, I texted her today asking her out and she seems down. I'm now just decided on the logistics on how to pull this off. Hopefully it will be a success and I will finally get my first lay!
Good Luck hopefully she is!!
 

thunder_god

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Having some trouble getting that chick out on a date. She said she is going out with her friend tonight and asked me what place I was going to take her. I told her to keep her sunday evening open. Also I met up with Mr. A today to sarge. He told me he noticed a difference in my attitude right off the bat lol. He told me he senses a " a don't give a $hit" attitude. This is music to my ears. I don't like sarging with him because he likes to talk too much instead of getting too work. We walked around and I told him I wanted to go sarge on campus but he insisted me didn't because he was afraid of running into people he knows. So we went with his plan and I didn't see him do a single approach. Then he went into another wing that I know's set that he had an instadate with a chick. I don't know why he did that. I developed serious approach anxiety while waiting for him to finish so that we could continue sarging. After a while I said ah **** it and just ditched his ass and ended up opening a chick who was lost. I wasn't persistent with this set when she said thanks and took off. I should have continued to walk with her and then try to number close as she was heading to class. I was frigging starving at this time and called up Mr. A to see what the hell was going on. He told me he was with a old buddy and just talking. I was like wtf. Dude are u here to learn game or are you here to talk to your buddy? Anyways I decided to go grab food. I ended up ordering a whole pizza since a slice was like almost half the price. I got way too stuffed and went home and passed out lol. I'm meeting up with my idiot wingman later tonight to go sarge at that same thursday pub that I frequently go to. We'll see what happens in a bit.
 

thunder_god

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Week 22 day 4: Today didn't turn out as good as I had hoped. My idiot wing showed up an hour late rendering my dance routine opener ineffective at the pub as the place as way too packed for chicks to even notice you on the dance floor. Anyways I opened about 4-5 chicks there. My wing opened zero which was surprising as he typically approaches a good number of sets. He said the girls weren't his type but I call BS, most likely approach anxiety. Anyways I tried to open 2 sets of girls on the dance floor by gently grabbing their hands and asking them to dance. Both of the girls let me hold there hands for 1-2 secs longer but then moved away lol. I then tried to hover around chicks but not directly approach them. I then tried to make eye contact and mimic there moves. I caught two girls eyes while doing this. One of them flashed a smile at me. I was waiting for her to warm up to me, but I guess I could have pulled the trigger and just grabbed her hand. Anyways before I got a chance to approach either one of them this unknown muther****er uncalibrated piece of $hit comes out of nowhere and ruins both of my sets. As soon as he came, the girls immediately left and he just laughed it off. I wanted to punch this piece of $hit and I actually kind of shoved him to the side lightly. My wing told me to just let it go but I was pi$$ed. He ruined both of my sets by being a idiot. After that my wing told me he had to go, so we left the pub. I was just warming up but my wing came late so we didn't have a lot of time to game.
 

thunder_god

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Week 22 day 5: Not a very productive day in terms of game. I didn't do any daygame since I was doing some chores around the apartment. Today my program organized a visit to watch a baseball game and then hit a bar/pub afterwards with both upper years and the new incoming class. I was hoping to work social circle game there. I also wasn't expecting my oneitis to come. Anyways when I showed up to the game, apparently I was assigned a bull$hit seat by myself so I immediately went and sat with my friends the upper years. There were hardly any new students there. Then all of a sudden all the new students showed up after an hr into the game. I got ****ing screwed over. Also it didn't help that that fat piece of $hit was sitting below me. This guy was your stereotypical white trash, sports watching fat a$$. He had a baseball cap, jersey, legs spread out, beer gut sticking out, can of beer in one hand, yelling, swearing, burbing, farting, and just being obnoxious overall. I can't believe my oneitis chose this piece of $hit over me. She ****ed up and made the wrong decision. All well, her loss. Then about another hr into the game, all the new students took off and left leaving me with just all my old classmates. WTF! So I decide to still check out the pub. So I get there and there are no new students and only 3 of my old classmates plus all the classmates that I came with. So I head upstairs and then I see that all the new students had already been here and finished ordering food and drinking. Then I go to sit down by them and I spot my oneitis. She waves at me and I just wave back and return to talking to the new students. Wtf. This girl is like a ****ing pest. I'm trying to move on *****! So I only really get a chance to talk to 2 girls. One of the girls seems friendly. A tall blonde chick who was kind of cute. She could be a potential plate. I'll be keeping my eye on her. Anyways after all the new students left I headed back downstairs where I chatted up a new guy student. Then I headed over to the other side of the bar and I caught my oneitis looking at me trying to make eye contact with me again while sitting beside that fat piece of $hit. I just ignored her as I walked past her and talked to my classmates. Then I headed back upstairs talked to a few more people and left. I'm going to try and avoid places where my oneitis is. I know this ***** is going to be at the semi-formal next thursday but I will try my best to ignore her. This totally ruined my game mindset for the night. I thought my psychiatrist really helped me move on from her completely but it appears I still have lingering feelings for this witch. Best remedy right now seems to be to go NC and also focus on other women until my next appointment with my psychiatrist in 2 weeks.

I met up with tommy and another guy to sarge at another bar but my head was messed up and I couldn't game. I opened only one set in the beginning but then I was toast as the feelings from what my oneitis did to me consumed me. Its going to be a tough road ahead trying to get this girl out of my head completely. I managed to open another set but I was just not in the game tonight.

Anyways after me and my wing called it quits, we talked about our weaknesses and strengths. My wing Tommy told me that my greatest strength is that I am driven and that I sarge consistently and don't give up and because of this, I will eventually surpass a lot of guys who are better then me. This gave me a glimmer of hope as learning game as been extremely tough.
 

Dennyy

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I just read the entire thread in less than a day, mainly because everything you say I can relate to.

Just leaving my support here since it doesn't seem like much people are posting ITT. Really appreciate the very detailed logs as well. Here's to the best to the both of us.
 

Mr Wright

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thunder_god said:
Anyways after me and my wing called it quits, we talked about our weaknesses and strengths. My wing Tommy told me that my greatest strength is that I am driven and that I sarge consistently and don't give up and because of this, I will eventually surpass a lot of guys who are better then me. This gave me a glimmer of hope as learning game as been extremely tough.
I'm a regular reader of your journal, I just wanted to comment and say that if you keep putting in the effort and course correct in the right way you will make it. You're definitely in the top 5% of guys into pick up who go out on a consistent regular basis to improve. Look for the small victories, you're in a much better position than you were a year ago and if you continue like this it will come together. There are probably just a few small changes that you need to make and the more you go out and try new things, it will come.
 

Dennyy

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Mr Wright said:
I'm a regular reader of your journal, I just wanted to comment and say that if you keep putting in the effort and course correct in the right way you will make it. You're definitely in the top 5% of guys into pick up who go out on a consistent regular basis to improve. Look for the small victories, you're in a much better position than you were a year ago and if you continue like this it will come together. There are probably just a few small changes that you need to make and the more you go out and try new things, it will come.
Yeah, I'm going to be a regular reader for this dude. He's an inspiration tbh.

Would be great if you could record your interaction somehow TG. Even though not much people are posting in here, I can say that you are definitely helping a lot of us out who reads your log. Keep it up man.
 

thunder_god

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Week 22 day 7: My date just cancelled on me wtf. Man I seriously can't seem to catch a break. I've gotten ten numbers so far and zero dates except for that one instadate with that ugly chick back in June who I had zero interest in. Now I'm feeling down again. Frig!:(
 

thunder_god

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I met up with my best bud earlier tonight along with my idiot friend. My idiot friend made some stupid comment about it being normal and that my oneitis was just having fun. This made me feel depressed again like I ****ed up that night. Thankfully I came to my senses a few hours later. I'm going to stop hanging out with this dude. He is seriously ****ing beta and a lost cause. This guy has zero drive and motivation to improve his life and expects $hit to be handed to him. Not only that, he tries to bring you down to his level to make himself feel better. I don't need people like this in my life.
 

thunder_god

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Week 23 day 1: I sent a text about an hr ago to that chick who I number closed from the stand up comedy show who is in my class. No reply back lol. Things aren't looking good. Also that chick who cancelled on me yesterday I felt I could have been more persistent when she called me but I didn't really feel like going on the date because I was scared I would **** up. She kept on bringing up her age saying "I'm 32 and will turn 33 soon". Like seriously who the **** cares. She already told me this when I cold approached her and got her number. I don't need to hear her tell me this 3-4 times in a row. She also mentioned that her friend was pissed off at her for cancelling our date. I should have said "I agree with your friend" and followed it up with "its really not that big of a deal to me what your age is, so lets just go grab drinks and have a good time". I could tell she kind of wanted me to comfort her abit more but I just had enough bull$hit from girls lately that I couldn't bother with it. At least next time I will know what to say when I get fed the BS age excuse. I'll hit her up again later in the week.
 

Max Power

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You're going to hit her up again when her interest level appears low?
 

Mr Wright

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thunder_god said:
Week 22 day 7: My date just cancelled on me wtf. Man I seriously can't seem to catch a break. I've gotten ten numbers so far and zero dates except for that one instadate with that ugly chick back in June who I had zero interest in. Now I'm feeling down again. Frig!:(
Time to change tactics, whatever it is just isn't working so try something new.
 
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