Enough is enough, time for a change journal.

[thunder_god]

So why would you get upset about others I just read causing problems possibly on camera with trying to pick up etc. chicks?

Unless you aren't trying to meet them and get to know them but trying to get laid off them as well?

Take a part time at a place you know lots of women shop or go to. You'll have them walking up to you. If things go well you can always tell them to give you their number or hang out with chicks you work with. It's a part time. Not a full time serious job. You can talk with and meet some that way rather than running around and possibly getting busted on camera trying to pick up random strangers or get lumped in with a bunch of whack jobs on some creeper list.

I was upset about the camera thing because I didn't want to be caught on camera and labelled a sexual predator or some crap like that and arrested just because I was talking to this weirdo. My reputation is important to me, and the last thing I need is people going around saying I'm a creepy guy going around approaching random girls talking about my genitals and sex. I mean that idiot can do that if it floats his boat, but that's not my cup of tea. Also he has brought unwanted attention to the places I go to approach women. Now the area will have tighter security and women will have their guards up. He essentially made my job harder for me unnecessarily. I'm sure anyone would be pissed off at that.

I would also argue that when you meet customers at work, your in autopilot and don't really think about what your saying. It's not really having a conversation with them since your like a robot or at least that's what it feels like to me. It's kind of like when you ask for directions or when a girl helps you out at a store. It all comes out automatically. What I want is to have a real genuine conversation with the person and none of this bull$hit autopilot crap or small talk. As for the part time job, ideally I would want to work somewhere where there's a lot of women, but since I'm so financially strapped right now and need a job asap, I'll take whatever I can get. Beggers can't be choosers. It's also a really bad idea to $hit where you eat. I know its a part time job and all, but still. Word of mouth gets around and a bad reference is never a good thing. Also if things turn sour at work with a coworker, it will make things very difficult to handle. lastly that whole fiasco today about the tests really killed the time I was planning to use to work on my application. I think I'm going to put off gaming for tomorrow to work on my financial issues.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

As opposed to what? Sitting on my ass and expecting girls to just flock to me? I did that for over 2 decades, where has that gotten me? Cold approaching is the bread and butter of pickup. Tonnes of guys have successfully gotten with girls through cold approaching, just because it doesn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't work.

Exactly women are never going to approach or pursue men first

 

[The411]

Exactly women are never going to approach or pursue men first

Really? What planet do you live on in which women never approach or purse men first? You might need a social circle of your own, or work in an office, or anywhere where there are chicks. Don't think for a second that women never approach or pursue men first. It may not be in your case, but it happens everywhere on a daily basis with all kinds of other dudes.

O.P can do what he's doing and meet and make a large social circle. But running around like a chicken with his head cut off to random strange women is more trouble than it's worth especially if your main goal is to get laid everytime you approach one.

 

[thunder_god]

Really? What planet do you live on in which women never approach or purse men first? You might need a social circle of your own, or work in an office, or anywhere where there are chicks. Don't think for a second that women never approach or pursue men first. It may not be in your case, but it happens everywhere on a daily basis with all kinds of other dudes.

O.P can do what he's doing and meet and make a large social circle. But running around like a chicken with his head cut off to random strange women is more trouble than it's worth especially if your main goal is to get laid everytime you approach one.

That comment about women approaching men first already tells me all I need to know about what you know about women. If most women approached men first, then there wouldn't even need to be a forum like this created in the first place since men would have a lot of options. Women hardly if even make the first move. It's socially conditioned in them and expected that the guy makes the first move. The only time a women would ever make the first move is if she was super interested in the guy and those are rare cases unless your a celebrity.

Doing cold approaches beats sitting on my a$$ being a keyboard jockey offering advice without any real world experience to back it up. No one said learning game was going to be easy. Some of the best pick up artists in the world took years to hone their skills. As for that suggestion about getting a job so that I could be around women is a joke. I would must likely get fired for sexual harassment and develop a bad rep in the industry and word will get out about what I do at work. Plus its creepy to be hitting on women at your workplace, where people know each other.

Also I don't just do random street approaches, I go to bars, nightclubs to approach women too, where its socially acceptable to approach women. Just because something doesn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't work for other people. All those rsd guys have had tremendous success, guys like dj fuji, squattincassanova, chase amante, that british guy johhn berber ( I think thats how you spell his name) and several forum members here all have had a lot of success with doing cold approaches. You clearly have never tried doing cold approaches and don't know what the hell your talking about.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

That comment about women approaching men first already tells me all I need to know about what you know about women. If most women approached men first, then there wouldn't even need to be a forum like this created in the first place since men would have a lot of options. Women hardly if even make the first move. It's socially conditioned in them and expected that the guy makes the first move. The only time a women would ever make the first move is if she was super interested in the guy and those are rare cases unless your a celebrity.

Doing cold approaches beats sitting on my a$$ being a keyboard jockey offering advice without any real world experience to back it up. No one said learning game was going to be easy. Some of the best pick up artists in the world took years to hone their skills. As for that suggestion about getting a job so that I could be around women is a joke. I would must likely get fired for sexual harassment and develop a bad rep in the industry and word will get out about what I do at work. Plus its creepy to be hitting on women at your workplace, where people know each other.

Also I don't just do random street approaches, I go to bars, nightclubs to approach women too, where its socially acceptable to approach women. Just because something doesn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't work for other people. All those rsd guys have had tremendous success, guys like dj fuji, squattincassanova, chase amante, that british guy johhn berber ( I think thats how you spell his name) and several forum members here all have had a lot of success with doing cold approaches. You clearly have never tried doing cold approaches and don't know what the hell your talking about.

Johnny Berba also admitted on his e-mail newsletter that he used to be such a loser with women that he lost his virginity at age 21 to a hooker, just thought you'd be interested in knowing

 

[The411]

That comment about women approaching men first already tells me all I need to know about what you know about women. If most women approached men first, then there wouldn't even need to be a forum like this created in the first place since men would have a lot of options. Women hardly if even make the first move. It's socially conditioned in them and expected that the guy makes the first move. The only time a women would ever make the first move is if she was super interested in the guy and those are rare cases unless your a celebrity.

Doing cold approaches beats sitting on my a$$ being a keyboard jockey offering advice without any real world experience to back it up. No one said learning game was going to be easy. Some of the best pick up artists in the world took years to hone their skills. As for that suggestion about getting a job so that I could be around women is a joke. I would must likely get fired for sexual harassment and develop a bad rep in the industry and word will get out about what I do at work. Plus its creepy to be hitting on women at your workplace, where people know each other.

Also I don't just do random street approaches, I go to bars, nightclubs to approach women too, where its socially acceptable to approach women. Just because something doesn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't work for other people. All those rsd guys have had tremendous success, guys like dj fuji, squattincassanova, chase amante, that british guy johhn berber ( I think thats how you spell his name) and several forum members here all have had a lot of success with doing cold approaches. You clearly have never tried doing cold approaches and don't know what the hell your talking about.

Dude who's admitted he was never around women tells other dudes he knows all about them. ok.

Creepy? LMAO Dude if you are creepy it doesn't matter where you meet them you're still creepy. I know PLENTY of dudes and chicks who met at work.

Half those "PUA" dudes talk out of their azz and get tossed out of clubs for harrassing chicks or their "skillz" require picking up overweight drunk chicks. The ONLY one who has good advice is Chase Amante.

I've been to clubs all over and never ran around like a loon trying to pick chicks up yet met MANY regardless. Know MANY personally from a part time job. Know many dudes who picked up chicks working of all ages or in full time jobs not just PART time jobs like I recommended.

Yet you know and are constantly updating with uh.."results".

If you take PUA seriously you cannot be helped.


*Edit: If you feel what you are doing is the right thing the BEST place for you to post and who to talk to is Chris from Good Looking Loser Forget the rest except for Chase Amante's advice.

http://www.goodlookingloser.com/

https://www.youtube.com/user/GoodLookingLoser69/videos

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Dude who's admitted he was never around women tells other dudes he knows all about them. ok.

Creepy? LMAO Dude if you are creepy it doesn't matter where you meet them you're still creepy. I know PLENTY of dudes and chicks who met at work.

Half those "PUA" dudes talk out of their azz and get tossed out of clubs for harrassing chicks or their "skillz" require picking up overweight drunk chicks. The ONLY one who has good advice is Chase Amante.

I've been to clubs all over and never ran around like a loon trying to pick chicks up yet met MANY regardless. Know MANY personally from a part time job. Know many dudes who picked up chicks working of all ages or in full time jobs not just PART time jobs like I recommended.

Yet you know and are constantly updating with uh.."results".

If you take PUA seriously you cannot be helped.


*Edit: If you feel what you are doing is the right thing the BEST place for you to post and who to talk to is Chris from Good Looking Loser Forget the rest except for Chase Amante's advice.

http://www.goodlookingloser.com/

https://www.youtube.com/user/GoodLookingLoser69/videos

Ya I heard that Chris, last time he updated himself, as of Summer 2013 he has slept with 200 women

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Really? What planet do you live on in which women never approach or purse men first? You might need a social circle of your own, or work in an office, or anywhere where there are chicks. Don't think for a second that women never approach or pursue men first. It may not be in your case, but it happens everywhere on a daily basis with all kinds of other dudes.

O.P can do what he's doing and meet and make a large social circle. But running around like a chicken with his head cut off to random strange women is more trouble than it's worth especially if your main goal is to get laid everytime you approach one.

if it was common for women to approach men then this forum, discussion board would not exist

 

[The411]

if it was common for women to approach men then this forum, discussion board would not exist

With the way some of these dudes act online I'm not surprised it isn't common for women to approach them.

I've personally been approached out in Atlantic City with friends by groups of chicks just minding my business having fun. Been approached by a group of chicks in NYC hanging out with my friend at a bar, then by two others at another bar and one other chick bumping me a few times with the bar not crowded at all.

Been given a business card with some chicks number on it out of the blue just sitting and talking with a chick when I applied for my part time a while ago.

Out with a group of co-workers a younger chick stood right next to me and said directly to me: "I'm standing here." When I asked her why and laughed she said: "Because I want to." and smiled.

At parties etc.

Had many friends asked about and approached as well.

Out with a friend BSing at another bar and THREE good looking chicks started talking to him. He later went to the bathroom and all three were asking about him. One chick later on wanted him to bang her in the park, the other chick wanted us to come back to their apt. and the third liked the dude as in wanting to date him. (He's married and I've got a gf) so we blew them off later on.

Some may even pass you by and you'll lock eyes and I've had another chick do that while walking by and say out loud directly to me: "Come talk to me!" to which another friend turned to me and said damn! Go talk! (I was too busy BSing with other people and sitting on my azz having a drink to bother. lol)

Some dancing will look into your eyes and or dance closer to you, or even say something to you while they dance and smile at you. (Happened in South Beach a few times)

I could go on and on.

It depends on how good you look, dress,(smell good), act, can TALK, and don't come off as negative but fun, while not looking desperate to "pick up" or come across as some robotic weirdo.

Chicks liking your look is the first part. They'll start hovering around and bump you and look into your eyes, and smile as your invitation to start talking. Or some will linger around your conversation and just join in.

It happens bro. May not be CONSTANTLY "ALL THE TIME" but it does happen often enough.

 

[thunder_god]

Dude who's admitted he was never around women tells other dudes he knows all about them. ok.

Creepy? LMAO Dude if you are creepy it doesn't matter where you meet them you're still creepy. I know PLENTY of dudes and chicks who met at work.

Half those "PUA" dudes talk out of their azz and get tossed out of clubs for harrassing chicks or their "skillz" require picking up overweight drunk chicks. The ONLY one who has good advice is Chase Amante.

I've been to clubs all over and never ran around like a loon trying to pick chicks up yet met MANY regardless. Know MANY personally from a part time job. Know many dudes who picked up chicks working of all ages or in full time jobs not just PART time jobs like I recommended.

Yet you know and are constantly updating with uh.."results".

If you take PUA seriously you cannot be helped.


*Edit: If you feel what you are doing is the right thing the BEST place for you to post and who to talk to is Chris from Good Looking Loser Forget the rest except for Chase Amante's advice.

http://www.goodlookingloser.com/

https://www.youtube.com/user/GoodLookingLoser69/videos

Half of those pua guys are talking out of these asses and yet I'm suppose to believe some random guy over the internet who could very fair be talking out of his ass like the rest of them :moon:. I like how you come into my journal here and offer "advice" by telling me to just go talk to people and chicks will naturally approach me lol. That might work if your a super good looking guy but for the average guy it ain't going to do $hit. That's like telling guys to "just be yourself" and we know how well those advice works for guys.

I didn't create this journal to update you with my results, it was meant for me to record my interactions and my journey from acf to don juan.

Anyways I'm not going to bother replying to your posts anymore since your obviously a troll and should just GTFO of my thread :kick: .

 

[The411]

Half of those pua guys are talking out of these asses and yet I'm suppose to believe some random guy over the internet who could very fair be talking out of his ass like the rest of them :moon:. I like how you come into my journal here and offer "advice" by telling me to just go talk to people and chicks will naturally approach me lol. That might work if your a super good looking guy but for the average guy it ain't going to do $hit. That's like telling guys to "just be yourself" and we know how well those advice works for guys.

I didn't create this journal to update you with my results, it was meant for me to record my interactions and my journey from acf to don juan.

Anyways I'm not going to bother replying to your posts anymore since your obviously a troll and should just GTFO of my thread :kick: .

Some will approach you if they feel comfortable around you and you have a social circle in which you slowly build one by getting to know people not running around trying to pick up as much as you can till word gets out that you run after everyone.

I know a dude just like you. Doesn't visit any PUA site etc. Runs up and tries to pick up every chick. Word got out as alot of these people know each other and the chicks who know me and other dudes have "asked" about him and went right into saying that he's a stalker, a creep, weirdo etc. Got blown off by every one of the chicks who laugh about him to each other. With not even mentioning the dude in the first place to them. (And the dudes a John Stamos look alike.) Don't just dismiss the grapevine chicks AND dudes will talk. You keep pushing that sht and it's going to eventually bite you back hard.

To just run around like a lost little boy trying to "game" every chick and then get pissed off about it doesn't seem so "successful".


You should meet people and talk to others but the way you are going about it is like an insane person on a mission with no social awareness.


Anyway. Do you Don Juan.

 

[thunder_god]

Week 25 day 5: Yesterday I had a evening salsa class. I had developed a routine that I was going to use on a Italian girl in my class. The routine involved using Italian phrases on her with me eventually asking for her number in Italian. Unfortunately I butchered by due to me being nervous and pronouncing some of the phrases wrong. I didn't end up finishing my routine. Also the girl didn't seem really receptive to me and didn't even bother to ask for my name so I figured she wasn't interested.

While this was going on, there were two other chicks in my class who seemed much more receptive. A new girl who just joined yesterday that was a short brown chick and a semi-overweight east european chick with a cute face. Unfortunately since I was so focused on that one chick that I didn't really pay attention to these two who were much more receptive to me, especially that brown chick. I think I faired a lot better with them both because I wasn't really outcome dependent so I was much more relaxed and it made me more charming compared to the Italian girl.

Anyways at the end of class I was contemplating whether or not I should still try for the Italian girl. Unfortunately she was busy talking to someone and my wing had just called me so I left the building to talk with him. As I was outside of the building, all three girls left one after another. At first it was the brown chick who gave me a nice big smile and waved me goodbye as I was talking on the phone. Then it was the Italian chick who was walking out with some guy from my class. I don't think she even said goodbye to me. Then it was the East European chick who waved me goodbye. Here I was stuck in the middle as all three girls all walked off in different directions trying to decide which one to run after. At first I speed walked to catch up with the Italian chick but then I gave up seeing as she was with that guy, so I turned around and started walking really fast to catch up with the East European chick but unfortunately she was no where to be found. I left feeling like $Hit again for having ****ed up. This will be my last time using a stupid routine. From now on, I ain't planning anything and will just say whatever comes naturally and not try to contrive $hit during a conversation to get a specific response from a chick.

Also I think I need to start using my time wore wisely in terms of choosing targets. I need to just stick to targets that show interest in me instead of targets that I'm attracted to but don't really reciprocate interest at least initially until I become better at this. What I should have done was focused on the two other chicks who were giving me IOI's especially that brown chick. I might have even been able to game that East European chick, but instead wasted my time on that Italian chick. Lesson learned hopefully. I just met up with my three close friends afterwards for a beer at a bar.

There were these two chicks that I walked into the bar, and we saw some dudes talking to them. One of them was dressed very provocative with heels and a black dress and all done up. She caught my eye. She was also facing outwards away from the bar, which from what I've been reading lately means she's open to being approached and talked to, while her friend had her back turned against people. My buddy told me to approach her, but I hesitated too long and she ended up getting approached by 3 dudes and leaving with them along with her friend. I was ****ing pissed. I shouldn't give a **** what the hell she thinks if I were to go up and talk to her, but my god damn ego is once again holding me back.

Today I hit the gym first thing. I was already pissed off at the gym for having only women's only hours and varsity athlete only hours so I had to wait a few hours before I could work out but when I showed up at the place and already strapped for time and this chick working there tells me I can't go in because they are over capacity I just exploded. I gave her $hit about it and told her "first, its women's only hours, then program hours, and now this". Two other guys waiting to get in were just standing there looking awkwardly as I told her this. Neither guy had the balls to tell this to the gym staff yet felt the same way about it. The girl tries to come back with a comeback after 15 secs by saying " well, the women's hour is over, so you can workout now for the rest of the day" or something like that. I didn't want things to escalate so I didn't bother to reply back. Then she lets me and the other two guys in as people leave the gym.

Looking back it at, I probably could have tried to brush off that overcapacity comment she made and tried to game her, but whatever I was there to workout and was already running late and pissed about the reserved gym hours. I didn't pay $90 a mth to not be allowed to use the ****ing gym. I'll see what happens when I run into her again.

Right after I was done my workout I had to rush home to take a quick shower and meetup with two of my new classmates to go rock climbing. It was my first time doing that, and I never met either chick. I show up to meet them and there's another chick from my class who's cute. I ask her if she's coming too but she says no and takes off. So we all talk and stuff on our way there. I just say random $hit to them and they both seem to be pretty receptive to me. So we get there and we do our thing and then one of the girls in my group opens up a cute blonde chick who's there by herself. She ends up joining our group and we all go out to have dinner afterwards. At dinner I crack all three girls up especially one of the girls in my class who's a brown chick by saying really random stupid $hit which I can't even remember. Very average if not below average looking. Definitely 1-2 notches below that brown chick that I met yesterday. One of the girls from my class mentions my roommate during our conversation and describes him as being a really "nice guy". I never want to be described as that ever again. I remember about a month ago at a dinner hosted by one of my old classmates with a few of my new classmates as guests, one of the girls said "she was tricked by my innocence" during some stupid card game. When I heard that I was like thinking wtf, innocence? That $hit got me made because my old classmates see me as being some innocent guy. Anyways I don't want to be seen as that guy anymore and hopefully I can change that up into something more positive and attractive for females.

Afterwards we all walk to the subway and just talk. One of the girls leave, and I end up with that brown chick and the blonde in the subway train. The brown chick seems to be in her own little world so I end up talking to the blonde mostly during our subway ride. I find out she used to do improv comedy so I invite her out, and she is like ya maybe. Then she tells me to come to rock climbing again next friday and she will be there. As she leaves she is like I'll see you next friday at the rock climbing place or maybe tuesday at the improv comedy class. I ****ed up by not asking for her number. She also invited me and the other two girls to go rock climbing with her friends somewhere far out in the suburbs. I turned her down because I don't want to die by falling off a cliff compared to a safe indoor environment and I don't own a car either so getting there would be a pain in the ass.

 

[thunder_god]

Also I now realize I absolutely suck at flirting. I'm ok at teasing and now my teasing doesn't seem to be quite as offensive as before, but my flirting skills are none existent and feel like this is really holding me back from being seen as a sexual guy who shows interest in women. I'm going to have to go learn how to flirt. I'm going to ask my best buddy to show me flirting verbally or non-verbally this weekend.

Tomorrow night is a rsd inner circle meeting and there is a huge street festival going on. The rsd guys are all planning on gaming at this street festival all night so that should be exciting.

I feel like today wasn't an entire waste. I got a lot closer to two of my new classmates and so when I return back to school fulltime in December, things won't be awkward for me because I will already have known a few people and gotten closer to a few people compared to if I hadn't met any of them or gone out to these social events. One of my classmates from last year who also withdraw temporary and is coming back I feel is going to be screwed because she won't know anybody and by the time she returns back, everyone would already have formed close knit groups and see her as an outsider. I witnessed that this past winter when two girls who withdrew last year came back into the program this year. No one really talked to them and they didn't really have any friends. One of the girls ended up withdrawing again due to poor grades.

As a bonus I also met a new prospect. My social circle continues to expand and grow which is awesome. My number of prospects continues to grow which is also great but I need to learn how to close the deal with these prospects, which I'm really struggling with. Never in my life would I ever imagine myself having met so many girls in such a short period of time. For the past 2 decades, I think I met like less than 200 girls in that time period but now in a span of a only a few months I have met so many girls, and not just any chick but several good looking girls who I would never have imagined being in contact with. I guess I have been so socially conditioned through years of not having access and being around attractive girls that it made me feel that I would never be able to score one unless I was really lucky so I never did anything about it, but now that I'm actually going out every single day and doing interesting things, now I'm meeting all these cute attractive girls. Only time will tell what happens from here.

I also haven't been gaming much lately for the past week. I really need to get my student loan and financial situation taken care of so I'm making that a priority and will limit gaming until that's taken care of. My goals for the next two days is to correct my student loans issue and to finish my job application and also to apply for a few more places. I also need to start studying my ass off for my anatomy class. This was one of the classes that ruined my last year and I don't want to have a repeat of last year. School has to become top priority in addition to pickup. I feel once this area of my life is taken care of, my mind will be more at ease and I can concentrate more on learning game.

That's all for tonight.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

With the way some of these dudes act online I'm not surprised it isn't common for women to approach them.

I've personally been approached out in Atlantic City with friends by groups of chicks just minding my business having fun. Been approached by a group of chicks in NYC hanging out with my friend at a bar, then by two others at another bar and one other chick bumping me a few times with the bar not crowded at all.

Been given a business card with some chicks number on it out of the blue just sitting and talking with a chick when I applied for my part time a while ago.

Out with a group of co-workers a younger chick stood right next to me and said directly to me: "I'm standing here." When I asked her why and laughed she said: "Because I want to." and smiled.

At parties etc.

Had many friends asked about and approached as well.

Out with a friend BSing at another bar and THREE good looking chicks started talking to him. He later went to the bathroom and all three were asking about him. One chick later on wanted him to bang her in the park, the other chick wanted us to come back to their apt. and the third liked the dude as in wanting to date him. (He's married and I've got a gf) so we blew them off later on.

Some may even pass you by and you'll lock eyes and I've had another chick do that while walking by and say out loud directly to me: "Come talk to me!" to which another friend turned to me and said damn! Go talk! (I was too busy BSing with other people and sitting on my azz having a drink to bother. lol)

Some dancing will look into your eyes and or dance closer to you, or even say something to you while they dance and smile at you. (Happened in South Beach a few times)

I could go on and on.

It depends on how good you look, dress,(smell good), act, can TALK, and don't come off as negative but fun, while not looking desperate to "pick up" or come across as some robotic weirdo.

Chicks liking your look is the first part. They'll start hovering around and bump you and look into your eyes, and smile as your invitation to start talking. Or some will linger around your conversation and just join in.

It happens bro. May not be CONSTANTLY "ALL THE TIME" but it does happen often enough.

Awesome, interesting to hear, I believe you, but I'm not holding my breath for it to happen

 

[thunder_god]

The death of my oneitis and a new beginning in dating

Week 25 day 7: Yesterday while working out at the gym, I received a call from some number that I recognized but wasn't sure from who, so I picked up the call. On the other end of the line was, unbeknownst to me my oneitis. I had deleted her number so it no longer showed her name but just a number pops up now. I told her I was working out and that I would call her back and hung up. About a minute later I get a text from her saying that her phone is having troubles receiving incoming calls and they all went to her voicemail, so just text her and she would call me. I didn't bother to text her back nor call her. I also immediately blocked her number and deleted my old text conversations with her reluctantly. Then I couldn't help it and unblocked her number. I called my best friend up and told him what happened along with another wing. Both of them told me to call her back but I was not in the mood to deal with her $hit.

Unfortunately, they tried again to convince me and this time I succumbed and sent her a text today in the afternoon saying I was busy yesterday. She replied back an 1 hr later saying no worries, she figured.

Then about 1.5 hrs while I was eating at popeye's I received a phone call and text message from her. I had my jacket off with my phone in my jacket pocket so I didn't hear anything. She had called me and when I didn't answer threw a hissy fit over text saying "thunder_god, wtf your not available". Later when I saw the message, I was laughing about it because I knew it got to her. Anyways I didn't want to call her back and when I got home called my best friend. He tried to convince me again, but I told him I didn't want to get with her anymore because she disgusts me, but told him I wanted to mind **** her as retribution.

Anyways I ended up calling her back (big mistake). I called her out on her temper tantrums and made fun of her. ***** tells me a lot of bad things have happened to her, blah blah blah and that she is failing the program and she is forced to take a leave of absence just like me. She says she had surgery recently but wouldn't tell me about what. She probably had an abortion from all the **** she had. She said due to the surgery she was always in pain and had to take meds which affected her ability to study. She ended up failing a practical exam and didn't write her written test. She says she has to take a temporary leave of absence just like me and return back to repeat the school year. So now she's going to be in my class again. Karma's a *****!

She then asks me about what she should do about her student loans because she said I was in a similar situation as her. I told her she needs to pay back the loan for six months, then I abruptly ended the conversation.

After that phone call, I felt like $hit again. I felt used like an emotional tampon. It brought back old memories of when she told me back in Late December that she doesn't date guys in the same program as her, and yet she went and ****ed this guy from our class in Cuba, and continues to see him. It made me think that I wasn't good enough for her. I promptly but hesitantly unfriended her off of facebook and blocked her number and hopefully for good this time. This time around it will be zero ****ing contact. Now that I know she is withdrawing out of the program for a year, I can walk the halls of the school with a sign of relief not having to worry about bumping into her.

I feel like this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life and that I can finally fully move on. Before I think I was still holding onto that small glimmer of hope that I could end up together with her, but now that I cut off all contact with her, that is no longer an option and I am forced to move on from her. Hopefully my luck changes for the better this year and I can start meeting and dating girls who are 10x better then her.

 

[thunder_god]

Week 27 day 6: It's been two weeks since I last made a journal entry. I've been quite busy working on taking care of the other areas of my life such as school, being more social and making new friends, student loans, and other administrative stuff, as well as my own mental health by seeing a psychiatrist to develop a better understanding of my own internal issues and how to be at peace with myself. In addition I also have been cutting off cancerous and toxic people out of my life which includes my oneitis and my parents but not on a permanent basis which I don't think you really can do with parents. I figure I need to become centred in all aspects of my life not just in pickup and women in order to develop the inner confidence that cannot be faked and just radiates outward. I also injured my right elbow while weightlifting and as a result developed tennis elbow according to my family doctor. This really bummed me out and made me alittle depressed because I was starting to get back into things at the gym. I have since replaced it by doing cardio a few times each week until it heals.

So now onto my oneitis. After my last entry where I talked about blocking her number, she had called me 6 times the next day all within a span of 12 minutes. I didn't see her calls because I had blocked her number but about a week later when I was looking at my phone log, I noticed, she had called me. I also notice her name pop's up when I type in the first letter of her name on facebook, not sure if she has been snooping on my facebook or not or if its just because I used to be her friend on facebook. Initially I thought I would unblock her number and if she called me again, I would give her an ultimatum. I would tell her she has two options. She can either progress things forward with me by going out or she can **** off and never hear from me ever again. I don't intend on having a relationship with her because she has proven to me that she isn't relationship material by how slutty she is, and I just wanted the satisfaction of ****ing her and then telling her to GTFO. However, talking to both my best friend and my psychiatrist. They both convinced me it isn't a good idea, because I may end up falling for her again and even harder this time, since she will be my first and because I said so myself that she isn't the type of girl I want to be in a relationship with. Therefore I have decided to just cut her off completely from my life. She may end up in my class again next year but hopefully I will be in a better place by next year. Also I saw her at the library a few days ago walking in. I quickly made a circle and walked out of there. I didn't want to talk to her one bit so I'm staying no contact indefinitely.

I've been really working hard on developing new social circles as well as working on social circle game. There is currently two girls who I met from signing up for different hobbies. Both girls look way more attractive then my oneitis and so far seem less slutty then her. Girl #1 is an italian chick who I met from my salsa class. She is cute and tall as well, however her body isn't that great. I've been really struggling on gaming this chick. I believe I mentioned her not really showing any interest 2 weeks ago on a journal entry. I managed to walk with her to the subway station and take the subway train home to our stop after class. I teased her quite a bit and made her laugh several times. I should have tried to escalate it as much as I could and even invite her to grab something to drink or eat but I ****ed up. This week when I saw her, our interaction wasn't quite as good. I did tease the crap out of her again, and at one point, she is like "shut up" in a fun way. I got ****blocked though afterclass because another guy from our class went up to her to dance with her so I ended up taking off. There was a really short brown chick who seemed to be really into me and dtf. There is also another east european chick who is alittle on the heavy side as well.

When she finally finished dancing with that fcker I should have asked her if she's taking the subway again instead of chickening out and saying bye. I end up leaving with the brown chick instead. It was pouring that day so I ended up walking that brown chick to the subway station. Again teasing and joking around with her. She was all smiles throughout the walk. At the end, she touched my shoulder/upper arm as she thanked me and walked away. I could tell she was dtf, but I wasn't attracted to her one bit and I also didn't want her ****blocking me with the Italian chick. I walked into the subway station but then pretended to fidget with my phone, looking at the reflection in the doors to see if the Italian chick was coming. After waiting there like 5-10 minutes I said screw her and walked downstairs to the train. As I was walking to the train, I saw the Italian chick sitting down there. I was like wtf, when the hell did she get here.

Anyways she didn't see me and gets on, I get on the train as well but one door behind her. I end up sitting like 2 columns away from her. Again I should have been more aggressive and just said hey, how's it going. I was worried that I would appear needy. So I end up sitting away from her all throughout the whole train ride even though we both get off at the same stop. So we get off at the same stop, and I end up walking in front of her hoping she would come up to me and say hi, but she ends up walking past me lol. Don't know if she saw me or if she really didn't want to speak to me. Next time, I will stop worrying about being needy and just try to escalate as far as I can. fcuk it even if it means I appear clingy. Better then not doing anything.

Now onto girl #2. I met this chick while doing indoor rock climbing with two of my classmates. She's a short blonde with a cute pretty face. She's about 7 yrs younger then me but quite adventurous and outdoorsy. The first time I met her, she mentioned an ex-bf while we were all eating. I added her on facebook and saw pics of her with some guy who I'm not sure is her bf or ex-bf. It makes me really hesitant to make a move on her, and I can slowly feel myself moving towards the friendzone. I'm going to have to start flirting with her big time and see her reaction. I number closed her the second time I saw her. I ended up going home on the bus and subway with her as well. I invited her out to my improv comedy class as well. The first time I met her I invited her but she said she was doing something with her friend and this time she seemed to be down however it was thanksgiving and she had to go home to her family away in Ottawa so she ended up not making it this week. I will most likely see her again next week at rock climbing unless she actually comes to my improv classes. I will probably go to the rock climbing class one more time just so I can have another shot at gaming her but it will probably be my last as I'm currently in a huge financial situation.

I took care of my tuition fee's issue, which makes me feel a whole lot better. However, my school is hounding me to pay back the tutoring money they gave me during the spring term, which I didn't get a chance to use because they sent it too late and I ended up failing all my courses. I'm currently extremely cash strapped right now, and if I were to return the money back this month I'm going to be screwed. If I were pay them back I would literally have $50 left in my bank account so I'm currently stressing the fcuk out about finances right now. I'm going to probably return it back by the end of October which is the deadline date. In the interim, I will be applying to part time jobs like crazy. I went to my school's gym today to request a refund on my gym membership because I'm so cash starved right now. They told me they only do it within the first ten days. It's now three weeks since I got it so I had to to email the manager who isn't in on the weekend, so hopefully she gives me some good news and I can get my money back. I had a job interview yesterday afternoon for a part time job which is all commission based which I don't like however I have nothing else at the moment so will be forced to take it if I get offered it, which now I'm starting to doubt I will get the job since the girl who was interviewing me said she would message me yesterday after completing her last round of interviews. I thought I did really well during the interviews compared to the other two candidates. I was very confident in my answers and gave back replies based on information the interviewer said the candidate needed for the job to the other candidates. So we'll see what happens with that.

Now onto social circle. I have been quite depressed as of late due to what I perceive as a lack of progress in making friends with my new classmates. As I mentioned previously my roommate is a social retard and a pig. Absolutely no thanks or acknowledgement for helping him out by providing him with old tests and study aids. I also helped pick up a package for him that was being delivered and again no thanks. He also seems to always pick the worst times to hand me bills or talk about issues. In addition, I notice he likes to always cook around the same time I chose to cook. I'm not sure if he's doing this deliberately or not but it pisses me off. Also when we are going to school, this guy doesn't even bother to wait for me and just takes off, like wtf man. We're in the same class and we live together. Common courtesy would dictate that you would wait for your roommate. This guy also is a lazy fcuk. He doesn't pick up after himself. He dirtied our stove with all his crap and never wipes it down. He has dropped his food all over the floor and never sweeps. I also split the bathroom cleaning duties with this prick and so far he hasn't held up his end of the deal. I pretty much gave up on this guy.

 

[thunder_god]

I had an opportunity to work on developing my social circle today with my new classmates but at the price of putting me deeper in the financial hole. I original did not think I was that bad financially until last night when I went to the atm machine and found out how much money I had left in my bank account. I had originally signed up the CN tower climb about a week and a half ago and since it's a pledge or donation I don't think I could cancel it. Anyways I did the climb this morning.

There were several groups within the team. I chose to work on the group with the most people. There were one group of people from another program in the team, my old classmates, and two groups from my new classmates. One of the two groups had a hot chick who is in my class. I assumed that she was used to getting a lot of attention from guys so I pretty much ignored her to see if it worked. While waiting in line to climb the tower, she was right beside me, I didn't really pay her much attention but I looked at the reflection in the mirror and caught her looking at me a few times. I tried to open her friend who was behind me but she just gave me a one word answer and returned back to talking to the other two girls.

Since I already had social proof and rapport with my old classmates I chose to not spend a lot of time talking to them. There was a somewhat cute girl who's roommates with one of the girls from my old classmates group so I tried to talk to her. She didn't seem very social though, even with the other people so I just assumed it was her personality, although I should try harder next time to push buttons to make her more engaged and illicit an emotional reaction out of her.

Anyways back to the group that I worked on, there was 5 of them in that group. I was giving the guys in that group fist pumps but I did eventually lose them when lining up, which was how I ended up beside that hot chick. Thinking back I should have tried to be more social with her. I didn't talk to her except smile at her and nod my head. I need to be more social with her and just treat her as any other person who I'm trying to converse with instead of putting her up on a pedestal like some girl I need to work on. This year for the tower climb I employed a different strategy. Last year, I got too competitive and sprinted up the tower and ended up gasing after 5 minutes and taking really long breaks. The stair climb turned into hell. This year I decided instead to use a slower pace but much steadier. I ended up only taking one break near the very end for maybe 10-15 secs which was pretty good. I ended up slashing my record from last year by almost 8 minutes, which is a huge improvement. I was quite happy with the results, which tells me that I'm not only wiser, but also more fit.

After the race was done, they had group photos, I ended up taking photos with two groups. One with the large group, and one with my old classmates. The group with the hot chick and two other girls didn't take any photos and just took off afterwards. The large group invited me to come eat dim sum with them. It would have been nice if they had invited that group with the hot chick as well, but overall I can't complain. Now at this point, I knew what my financial situation is, but I also knew this was a great opportunity to bond and develop deeper rapport with this group of people, so that when I come back full time in December, I will have at least one group that I can study and hang out with. It also gives me an opportunity to expand my social network and social skills. I thought the benefits outweighed the cons and I don't regret my decision today. We were joined by another cute chick from my class, who met up with one of the guys in the group who I will consider the "leader" since he seemed to be calling all the shots. When he took off to pick up something and that cute girl with his car, the group followed me to the dim sum place.

The people in the group seemed very receptive to me and I shook hands with the guys at the end, and I felt much closer with them after the meal except for that cute chick. She sat right beside me but she didn't engage me much. She'll be a hard nut to crack, but I will persist, if anything it'll give me more experience.

I also have been hanging out with my best friend and my idiot friend, and another mutual friend as well, especially my best friend a lot these past two weeks. I feel me and my best bud's friendship has grown even stronger since we were able to overcome all these rifts in our relationship. I have warned him that once school starts kicking in full time I won't be able to chill with him as much.

I just spoke to my father earlier today and let him know about my current financial situation and received a stern lecture to boot. I didn't want to resort to letting him know about my status but it couldn't be helped. I really need to have a clear head for school. In the interim period, I will be applying for part time jobs non-stop regardless of the type of job :fast food, retail, campus, factory. I just need the money right now so that I can stand on my own two feet until my student loans start kicking in January. This financial crisis has really taught me a lesson. Never have I been so scared about ending up on the streets until now. I was passing by some homeless people today and I was afraid I might end up like them soon. I never want to experience that feeling of helplessness again. From now on, I will have to manage my finances a lot better so that I never end up in this situation again. I want to become independent and not rely on others. I will let my father help me out at the moment but I do intend to pay him back as soon as I save up my money. I'm hoping I can get a part-time job working something like 15-20 hrs a week until January. I will even be willing to work throughout the holiday season every single day so that I can make enough money to not have to stress about finances again. I'm currently working on my third job application. I don't intend to stop until I either get a part-time job soon or I hit 30 applications.

This year has really taught me a lot about life's lessons. The lessons have been harsh and painful but I believe they will make me become a very strong person in the future. Living away from home, learning to become independent and also meeting people outside gives me a new perspective and greater appreciation for how hard it is to survive out there. It makes me wonder why I didn't learn these lessons earlier in life. I would have been much more successful right now.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I had an opportunity to work on developing my social circle today with my new classmates but at the price of putting me deeper in the financial hole. I original did not think I was that bad financially until last night when I went to the atm machine and found out how much money I had left in my bank account. I had originally signed up the CN tower climb about a week and a half ago and since it's a pledge or donation I don't think I could cancel it. Anyways I did the climb this morning.

There were several groups within the team. I chose to work on the group with the most people. There were one group of people from another program in the team, my old classmates, and two groups from my new classmates. One of the two groups had a hot chick who is in my class. I assumed that she was used to getting a lot of attention from guys so I pretty much ignored her to see if it worked. While waiting in line to climb the tower, she was right beside me, I didn't really pay her much attention but I looked at the reflection in the mirror and caught her looking at me a few times. I tried to open her friend who was behind me but she just gave me a one word answer and returned back to talking to the other two girls.

Since I already had social proof and rapport with my old classmates I chose to not spend a lot of time talking to them. There was a somewhat cute girl who's roommates with one of the girls from my old classmates group so I tried to talk to her. She didn't seem very social though, even with the other people so I just assumed it was her personality, although I should try harder next time to push buttons to make her more engaged and illicit an emotional reaction out of her.

Anyways back to the group that I worked on, there was 5 of them in that group. I was giving the guys in that group fist pumps but I did eventually lose them when lining up, which was how I ended up beside that hot chick. Thinking back I should have tried to be more social with her. I didn't talk to her except smile at her and nod my head. I need to be more social with her and just treat her as any other person who I'm trying to converse with instead of putting her up on a pedestal like some girl I need to work on. This year for the tower climb I employed a different strategy. Last year, I got too competitive and sprinted up the tower and ended up gasing after 5 minutes and taking really long breaks. The stair climb turned into hell. This year I decided instead to use a slower pace but much steadier. I ended up only taking one break near the very end for maybe 10-15 secs which was pretty good. I ended up slashing my record from last year by almost 8 minutes, which is a huge improvement. I was quite happy with the results, which tells me that I'm not only wiser, but also more fit.

After the race was done, they had group photos, I ended up taking photos with two groups. One with the large group, and one with my old classmates. The group with the hot chick and two other girls didn't take any photos and just took off afterwards. The large group invited me to come eat dim sum with them. It would have been nice if they had invited that group with the hot chick as well, but overall I can't complain. Now at this point, I knew what my financial situation is, but I also knew this was a great opportunity to bond and develop deeper rapport with this group of people, so that when I come back full time in December, I will have at least one group that I can study and hang out with. It also gives me an opportunity to expand my social network and social skills. I thought the benefits outweighed the cons and I don't regret my decision today. We were joined by another cute chick from my class, who met up with one of the guys in the group who I will consider the "leader" since he seemed to be calling all the shots. When he took off to pick up something and that cute girl with his car, the group followed me to the dim sum place.

The people in the group seemed very receptive to me and I shook hands with the guys at the end, and I felt much closer with them after the meal except for that cute chick. She sat right beside me but she didn't engage me much. She'll be a hard nut to crack, but I will persist, if anything it'll give me more experience.

I also have been hanging out with my best friend and my idiot friend, and another mutual friend as well, especially my best friend a lot these past two weeks. I feel me and my best bud's friendship has grown even stronger since we were able to overcome all these rifts in our relationship. I have warned him that once school starts kicking in full time I won't be able to chill with him as much.

I just spoke to my father earlier today and let him know about my current financial situation and received a stern lecture to boot. I didn't want to resort to letting him know about my status but it couldn't be helped. I really need to have a clear head for school. In the interim period, I will be applying for part time jobs non-stop regardless of the type of job :fast food, retail, campus, factory. I just need the money right now so that I can stand on my own two feet until my student loans start kicking in January. This financial crisis has really taught me a lesson. Never have I been so scared about ending up on the streets until now. I was passing by some homeless people today and I was afraid I might end up like them soon. I never want to experience that feeling of helplessness again. From now on, I will have to manage my finances a lot better so that I never end up in this situation again. I want to become independent and not rely on others. I will let my father help me out at the moment but I do intend to pay him back as soon as I save up my money. I'm hoping I can get a part-time job working something like 15-20 hrs a week until January. I will even be willing to work throughout the holiday season every single day so that I can make enough money to not have to stress about finances again. I'm currently working on my third job application. I don't intend to stop until I either get a part-time job soon or I hit 30 applications.

This year has really taught me a lot about life's lessons. The lessons have been harsh and painful but I believe they will make me become a very strong person in the future. Living away from home, learning to become independent and also meeting people outside gives me a new perspective and greater appreciation for how hard it is to survive out there. It makes me wonder why I didn't learn these lessons earlier in life. I would have been much more successful right now.

Ya I'm really jealous of guys in their teens and early 20's that have better social skills and conversation skills than I do

 

[thunder_god]

Week 28 day 1: Just got hired for a part time job doing cold approaches lol. It's for promoting microsoft products. I'm the perfect person for that job since I've been approaching girls like crazy for the last few months around campus and in the downtown core area lol.

I applied for it last night and got interviewed like an hr ago and got the job. I also have a second round interview for another job. I'm also planning on applying for a seasonal sales associate job at a retail store for the Christmas holidays to make some more money that I can save up for trips or whatnot. This couldn't have come at a better time since I'm so financially strapped right now. Well at least this is another area of my life that I can now take care of. Next one is school, which I'm doing ok at but I want to be way ahead of my readings and super prepared to eat that test up.

After that, all that's left is increasing my social status and networking with more people and women. It feels good to have other areas of your life handled so that you can focus on one or two particular things that need work.

 

[thunder_god]

Week 29 day 6:

Been really busy working the last two weeks plus going to school and studying. I met some chick from work. The job is pretty much just me and her working. She's a Bangladesh Hb6.5. I'm not really into brown chicks but she has a nice ass and a decent size rack. Unfortunately she has a bf already and is short. Just my luck. I have been kind of gaming her and she seems pretty receptive to my flirting and teasing. I also noticed my text game has gotten a lot better for some reason. Maybe its because I now try to elicit an emotional response instead of replying logically. She texted me "lmfao ****yyy" when I texted her something ****y and funny like "ya it was nice meeting me too", when she said "it was nice meeting you". She also called me an "ass" in person last week when I was teasing her. I also chase framed her when she started inquiring about whether or not I was seeing anyone. I said to her "why? did you want to apply for the position?" She starts laughing and then saying "no, I'm loyal". Bull$hit, we all know there is no such thing as loyalty with chicks. I also made her buy me a bagel. She has been asking me a few times during work if she can buy me any food or drinks. I think I need to make her buy me more things so that she invests in me more, and the more she invests the deeper she falls for me. Anyways I have no interest in dating her, just banging her. I believe the reason why I hit it off so well with her is because right from the onset I was already talking and acting with her as if we had known each other for a while now. I don't think I did this with any of the other girls.

My new part time job requires me to cold approach people to promote microsoft products and then to get them to do surveys. Its a good thing I have been doing cold approaches these past few months, otherwise I would so scared that I wouldn't be able to approach anyone. I also notice that the approach anxiety is still there and it takes a while before I can get the ball rolling. Also the rejections still hurt. I think I have approached over 150-200 people on the four days that I have been working.

i also haven't had much luck with the other two girls who I mentioned from my hobbies and clubs. I've all but given up on the Italian chick. Although this week I teased her like crazy for some reason, and she seemed to kind of like it. I noticed she stopped leaving class when its done. I think she sticks around for the class afterwards. As for the rock climbing chick, I haven't seen her in weeks now. I have been trying to get her out. To be fair though, she did ask me to go join her rock climbing last week, but it was at a date and time when I was busy so I couldn't do it. She asked me to go join her for her late night run last night, but by the time she replied back, she had already left my area and no way am I running around downtown in the freezing cold just to go look for her.

I also had 3 chicks message me on pof. Two out of the three had no pics. One of them was a whale so I didn't bother to reply back. After having another one send me a pic and seeing that she also was a whale, I ignored her text as well. I got the # from the last one but still haven't seen her pic but I believe she is asian. I texted her and she texted back but I couldn't bother with her either since I don't like asian girls, especially ones that are too insecure to show their pics online.

Things at school have also been slow. I haven't really been able to make any friends since I'm only in one class and only see my classmates twice a week, with one of those days in a lab with only a few of my classmates. I also know that parties and hangouts have been circulating around except I haven't been invited to any. This crowd is really tough to crack. Another girl also in the exact situation as me even has it worse, because she didn't even go to any social events. She hardly knows anyone. I was suppose to go rock climbing on thursday with two of my classmates who I went with a few weeks back. Unfortunately I never heard anything back from them after they finished there test. I finally got a text from the girl today and she said her text message didn't go through that day.

I went to a public speaking club today, which I got exposed to while on the job last week when I asked one of the guys who I was prospecting if he had any leads. The exercises we did there was good practice. I volunteered for every single task even though it felt uncomfortable as $hit. It's going to take me a while before I get as good as some of the guys in the club.

I also went to a halloween party today that one of my new classmates posted up on facebook. My old classmates from last year also held a party at exactly the same time. Since I didn't really know anyone from my class this year I chose to go to the other party. It was a big mistake. I ended up being the only person from my class there with the exception of the girl hosting. Apparently there was 1-2 other parties that my other new classmates hosted and everyone else ended up going to those. my roommate who is a prick also went to the other parties but never told me about them neither. Her roommate on the other hand invited a $hit tonne of her friends. The co-host of the party who invited me didn't know anyone there except her bf and just sat on the couch quietly talking to her bf and me. I ended up doing the same because it felt awkward for me in that environment. After a while I had enough and decided to force myself to go talk to these strangers at the party even if it made me feel uncomfortable. It took me literally like 1.5 hrs before I started to go talk to the other people at the party, but once I did it felt more and more natural. I started to approach more and more people. Unfortunately most of the girls there were with there bf's. I was getting a lot of high fives from the guys though. The guys seemed to like my company, now why can't I do the same with girls? It didn't seem like things were going to change there so I ditched the party. I had originally made plans a week ahead of time to go chill with my best friend. I told him to go buy tickets to this big halloween party at my college because I didn't have money to order tickets yet because my first paycheque was coming in today, but the fcuker was lazy to do what I asked and they ended up selling out. Ok fine, I made alternative plans. There was another halloween party at another place except they close at 12am. My plan was to go to my new classmates party first then leave after an hr. This was meant to warm me up for the other party later. My ****ing buddy didn't come downtown until 12 ****ing am!!! and then has the nerve to tell me to come to some other bull$hit place half way across downtown. I didn't bother to reply back to him after that. I ended up feeling depressed and went home, not before wolfing down 4 pc of chicken at popeyes. I need to stop being an emotional eater and using food as a feel good mechanism. He's really pushing me to cut himoff completely like my oneitis. This behavior from him has been happening for a while now. He's let me down time and time again. First it was with the ****ing vacation trips. I have asked him years now to go with me to california or somewhere and he always makes up BS excuses, but then he went to cuba this past summer with my other friends. When I needed him to push me to approach girls on the street, he chickened out and made BS excuses that he wanted to go shopping. I am getting really fed up with this behaviour. I have known this guy for 17 yrs now but at the same time he has really disappointed me.

So here I am writing this journal about 2 weeks later and hardly anything to show for it. My text game has gotten a little better and I believe my teasing is alittle more calibrated but thats about ****ing it. I am getting more and more frustrated as the weeks go and I feel like banging my head against the wall each night. I always ask the universe what the fcuk did I do that was so bad to deserve this? Why the fcuk can't I get a girl who I'm actually attracted to and want to date? Why is it that only the fatties and uglies pay me attention and respect that I deserve? Is it too fcuking much to ask to be with someone who you like? Also why the fcuk am I such a pu$$y when it comes to women? I can get into a ring with guys who want to kill me and walk off sometimes unharmed but when it comes to women be completely clue less and afraid of rejection and failure. At the rate things are going for me I don't know if I will ever succeed in my goals. I AM SO SICK OF BEING FCUKING DATELESS AND SEEING EVERY OTHER GUY WITH A GIRL EXCEPT ME, I CAN'T STAND THIS $HIT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!