Does "No Contact" really work?

[reset]

LOL, thanks for the props. That's easy part, I am pretty good at the conversing part usually. It's the cold approach where my game is pitifully weak.

I have no cold approach game. I'm used to chicks at the workplace, which is where I've practiced some of this stuff. Not closing but the sexual tension is all over the place.

They come after me, seek me out, call me, make arrangements with me. I literally "do nothing", it's all incoming. Hard to explain. But that is different than the cold approach. I wish it were the same way "out there" as it is when I've already been introduced and they pursue me.

But, it's not. I just have to know that the reaction I get from girls of them chasing me will most likely be the same from approaches, I just have to approach when I see those IOIs. No choice.

At a workplace setting or with a social group you know, your strength comes from NOT making a move, NOT pursuing. Yet, when you're two total strangers, it comes from ALWAYS pursuing. How can they be so different yet produce the same results?

 

[Mr. Me]

It's hard to think these are the same girls that were so kind and attentive previously.

People are complex. Just ask Phil Hartman what his wife is capable of. Oops, too late.

I do think that on/off switch has to do with IL. That's why they'll laugh at your jokes - when they're interested in you - and you're thinking inside, "That was REALLY a stupid lousy joke. I can't believe I said it. I don't even think it's funny. I wouldn't laugh. But she laughed, huh? And she's still hanging around? Must like me". But when IL lowers, then they look at with disdain as if you're an idiot.

When there's no interest, they don't care; when they don't care, they'll treat you like they don't care.

IL explains why they can go from:

"This is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with!!!!"

to:

"I don't know what I EVER saw in that a$$hole."

 

[Nelford]

What's everyone's opinion on this? I mean when you like a girl and you have had sex with her but something happens and she stops accepting your invitations to go out, or drops the "LJBF" line on you. That's usually the kiss of death, but sometimes "LJBF" doesn't mean anything and they still hook up with you, like this situation. So I'm trying this method out but unfortunately I am here and not out spinning plates in the process.

So does anybody have any stories where "not contacting" the female you like for however long made her come back?

I rarely contact the girls I know and they always send a text or email saying something like "Hi, how have you been, we need to hook up". It works for me. I am always out meeting new women, so if a girl don't call I da$n near forget they exist until I get that email, call or text.

 

[Nelford]

That's exactly what I'm trying to do. Make her pursue because she has told me she is attracted and I don't want to blow it by chasing her too much.

I am curious to hear your experiences with "no contact" especially how long does it usually take? A few days or weeks to make her crawl back?

I had girls get back to me a year later and say "Why havn't you called me". Look lover, the more options you have the less tolerence you'll have for these games. Keep spining plates, she will be all over you in a week or two. When she do contact you don't get all AFC on her.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Hey! I've been chatting with the crazy woman this thread is about again. I sent her another text this morning and she actually replied half decently.

I asked her if she has a boyfriend and she said

"no, are you happy?"

I said "no, I'm not happy about anything. how do you feel?"

She said "I don't have time to feel anything i've been too busy working and paying my bills"

I said "Can we be friends again?"

She replied "No"

And that is it. I just got the "No" a few minutes ago. I am not planning on replying.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I asked her if she has a boyfriend

WHY????

...
I said "no, I'm not happy about anything. how do you feel?"

WHY????

...I said "Can we be friends again?"

WHY????

...
She replied "No"
.... I am not planning on replying.

Uhhh... Yeah....

 

[My Name is Nobody]

WHY????

WHY????

WHY????


Uhhh... Yeah....

I just acted on an impulse. I was bored. I had a few beers. I like her. WHY? I can't even answer that one.

Seriously though, I'm not replying to the "NO" what could I possibly say?

Also I don't want to risk setting her off.. she's like a ticking bomb.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Also I don't want to risk setting her off.. she's like a ticking bomb.

Yet you still poke her with a stick... :crazy:

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Also I don't want to risk setting her off.. she's like a ticking bomb.

dp.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Yet you still poke her with a stick... :crazy:

Let this marinate for awhile.. I don't think it's any secret I'm looking for another round with her.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I guess I'm in luuuuv... I'm all shook up uhuh ..

 

[reset]

Hopefully someone got something out of the experiences I shared in this thread.

 

[reset]

Dude. You weren't "bored" you're thinking about her all the time. Now you're wasted.

I agree with Danger, you have to be HONEST with yourself. You got burned your ego took a huge nose-dive and you want to get that self-esteem back.

No "bored" or "nothing else to do". We can see right through that BS.

You have game because you've always got chicks coming and going, so hats of to you-- but the big stuff, the stuff that actually matters in life, you just walk right around.

Every relationship you have for the rest of your life will be exactly like NYE girl if you don't come to terms with what it is INSIDE you that is responding to this drama.

Man in mirror time.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Dude. You weren't "bored" you're thinking about her all the time. Now you're wasted.

I agree with Danger, you have to be HONEST with yourself. You got burned your ego took a huge nose-dive and you want to get that self-esteem back.

No "bored" or "nothing else to do". We can see right through that BS.

You have game because you've always got chicks coming and going, so hats of to you-- but the big stuff, the stuff that actually matters in life, you just walk right around.

Every relationship you have for the rest of your life will be exactly like NYE girl if you don't come to terms with what it is INSIDE you that is responding to this drama.

Man in mirror time.

Just another reason NOT to go after girls at work. OFCOURSE I think about her all the time. Every time I see that damn place I think about her. There is no escape, except getting a new job. And that is practically impossible right now. So I might as well see if I can make peace with her and make the best of it.

I'm telling you, if I didn't work in the same place as this girl she would be forgotten.

 

[reset]

Not about her. It's about you.

She's over it.

 

[reset]

There is NO making peace. It doesn't work that way. It ended when she threw you in the cold on NYE. That was the end. You are keeping it alive now. As far as she's concerned, you're old news. She's not coming back, she will always be a bytch, get a grip and have some self-respect!!!!!

 

[My Name is Nobody]

There is NO making peace. It doesn't work that way. It ended when she threw you in the cold on NYE. That was the end. You are keeping it alive now. As far as she's concerned, you're old news. She's not coming back, she will always be a bytch, get a grip and have some self-respect!!!!!

How many times to I have to explain it? It was over before it began because as Francisco said I didn't have my house cleaned before I tried to move in some new furniture.

I can't put this one on the NYE girl. I didn't have my LTR girl out of the picture before I tried to bring in NYE girl. Then I tried to lie about it and I am still lying about it and this exploded in my face.

Mix this in with a nasty recent divorce and why are we surprised how she acted towards me.

I am taking the blame on this one. Any way you slice it, the reality is I fukked this up.

 

[reset]

I only followed it from the aftermath, but any potential ended that night.

And it didn't end because she stopped liking you or whatever. The potential should have ended becasue she DISRESPECTED you, the potential should have ended from YOUR perspective.

You have to put it behind you. You want to make peace with it, but you know that there is no peace. No "I'm sorry", you're not going to be buddies again.

This chick doesn't matter. All the factors don't matter. What matters is that you still feel inclined to contact a chick who does NOT CARE about you, and THAT IS WHY you can't let it go. Because she rejected you.

Believe me dude--I have said "no contact" then gone back on my word and done the contact too because I was hurt. But it's happened enough that I see the pattern and the outcome is always the same. These things never end in a nice and easy fashion.

You have to confront your own drama. Don't beat yourself up, but yes YOU are seeking this out. And you will continue to have stuff like this happen until you learn to have higher standards for YOURSELF, like what is acceptable behavior from you, and towards you. But if you don't value yourself, this is the type of relationship that will feel comfortable for you, and the drama will continue to push all your buttons and give you that adrenaline rush. You going through this and all the drama is filling some kind of need. And you know the only reason I can say this is because I was just like this and am learning to change.

What I am saying is, these types of intense ups and downs, this roller-coaster, this is what you respond to. If you want healthier relationships, you have to learn to respond to people being good to you and treating you well. And that will never happen until you start being good to yourself and treating yourself well. This type of thing does not happen as much to people who truly value and respect themselves.

Inner game dude. You need to take that path. Put the player stuff/push-pull/ what to I say type stuff out of the equation. This is about YOUR LIFE.

VALUE YOUR OWN LIFE AND YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.

Alright, off my soap-box. You'll figure it out.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I only followed it from the aftermath, but any potential ended that night.

And it didn't end because she stopped liking you or whatever. The potential should have ended becasue she DISRESPECTED you, the potential should have ended from YOUR perspective.

You have to put it behind you. You want to make peace with it, but you know that there is no peace. No "I'm sorry", you're not going to be buddies again.

This chick doesn't matter. All the factors don't matter. What matters is that you still feel inclined to contact a chick who does NOT CARE about you, and THAT IS WHY you can't let it go. Because she rejected you.

Believe me dude--I have said "no contact" then gone back on my word and done the contact too because I was hurt. But it's happened enough that I see the pattern and the outcome is always the same. These things never end in a nice and easy fashion.

You have to confront your own drama. Don't beat yourself up, but yes YOU are seeking this out. And you will continue to have stuff like this happen until you learn to have higher standards for YOURSELF, like what is acceptable behavior from you, and towards you. But if you don't value yourself, this is the type of relationship that will feel comfortable for you, and the drama will continue to push all your buttons and give you that adrenaline rush. You going through this and all the drama is filling some kind of need. And you know the only reason I can say this is because I was just like this and am learning to change.

What I am saying is, these types of intense ups and downs, this roller-coaster, this is what you respond to. If you want healthier relationships, you have to learn to respond to people being good to you and treating you well. And that will never happen until you start being good to yourself and treating yourself well. This type of thing does not happen as much to people who truly value and respect themselves.

Inner game dude. You need to take that path. Put the player stuff/push-pull/ what to I say type stuff out of the equation. This is about YOUR LIFE.

VALUE YOUR OWN LIFE AND YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.

Alright, off my soap-box. You'll figure it out.

Thanks, Reset. You just helped me with my reply to her "NO" about being friends.

I just told her "I don't think we will ever be friends again".

That should put an end to this madness.

 

[reset]

I'm glad to give you whatever things I have learned from going through this. I know exactly what it feels like. Having a chick haunt you like that.

But dude, for the love of God... PLEASE leave it at that. If you get some text from her don't read it, delete it. STOP.

No more back and forth. If she responds, don't read it. You need to flush this chick out of your system for good.

This girl is from the PAST. All you have is NOW. Do NOT make room for her in your life. Stick with the no contact. You will get strength from that. You will build confidence, from KNOWING that you are STRONG ENOUGH to stop a toxic relationship. Set a new baseline, as Interceptor would say.

Continuing contact is beneath you, unhealthy. Build strength from this.

If you contact this chick again, if you respond to her, then I've said all I can say. I can't say anymore, I won't say anymore.

This thread has been cool, you've learned a lot about mind-games and everything, how to try to keep that upper-hand. But all of that is meaningless at the end of the day.

You are giving your power to her and her memory. Take your power BACK.