Does "No Contact" really work?

[My Name is Nobody]

I'm glad to give you whatever things I have learned from going through this. I know exactly what it feels like. Having a chick haunt you like that.

But dude, for the love of God... PLEASE leave it at that. If you get some text from her don't read it, delete it. STOP.

No more back and forth. If she responds, don't read it. You need to flush this chick out of your system for good.

This girl is from the PAST. All you have is NOW. Do NOT make room for her in your life. Stick with the no contact. You will get strength from that. You will build confidence, from KNOWING that you are STRONG ENOUGH to stop a toxic relationship. Set a new baseline, as Interceptor would say.

Continuing contact is beneath you, unhealthy. Build strength from this.

If you contact this chick again, if you respond to her, then I've said all I can say. I can't say anymore, I won't say anymore.

This thread has been cool, you've learned a lot about mind-games and everything, how to try to keep that upper-hand. But all of that is meaningless at the end of the day.

You are giving your power to her and her memory. Take your power BACK.

too late she already replied, and I replied, and now she's f*cking with me again. Shoot me.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I said "Can we be friends again?"...
She replied "No"
.... I am not planning on replying.

Uhhh... Yeah....

Thanks, Reset. You just helped me with my reply to her "NO" about being friends.

I just told her "I don't think we will ever be friends again".

That should put an end to this madness.

Anyone remember the movie "Groundhog's Day" with Bill Murray?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

too late she already replied, and I replied, and now she's f*cking with me again. Shoot me.

Too late, you've already shot yourself. Give me that stick, you've been poking enough things!:woo:

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Too late, you've already shot yourself. Give me that stick!:woo:

You want to poke her too? I can give you her cell #.

 

[SunnyD]

You want to poke her too? I can give you her cell #.

Why would you respond to her "no I dont want to be friends" with "I dont think we'll ever be friends again..."? Were you sending it as some sort of threat to let her know this is her last chance or something? Not a good response...makes you look petty. I would have left it alone and not replied at all. Or just a "ok then, wish you the best."

 

[iqqi]

Why would you respond to her "no I dont want to be friends" with "I dont think we'll ever be friends again..."? Were you sending it as some sort of threat to let her know this is her last chance or something? Not a good response...makes you look petty. I would have left it alone and not replied at all. Or just a "ok then, wish you the best."

THANK YOU. NO PETTYness, please, guys.

Good to see you on the MM forums, Sunny.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Why would you respond to her "no I dont want to be friends" with "I dont think we'll ever be friends again..."? Were you sending it as some sort of threat to let her know this is her last chance or something? Not a good response...makes you look petty. I would have left it alone and not replied at all. Or just a "ok then, wish you the best."

It wasn't a threat. It was what I thought, because it seems like she hates me. Therefore, I don't think she will ever want to be friends again.

She knows I still want her, she isn't stupid.

 

[iqqi]

It wasn't a threat. It was what I thought, because it seems like she hates me. Therefore, I don't think she will ever want to be friends again.

She knows I still want her, she isn't stupid.

Thats what you should have said.

"You know I still want you. You aren't stupid."

or

"I know you still want me. I'm not stupid."

OR BEST YET

"I know you still want me. You're not stupid."


HAAHHAAHA, I love me.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Thats what you should have said.

"You know I still want you. You aren't stupid."

or

"I know you still want me. I'm not stupid."

OR BEST YET

"I know you still want me. You're not stupid."


HAAHHAAHA, I love me.

I saw that one coming from a mile away....

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Thats what you should have said.

"You know I still want you. You aren't stupid."

or

"I know you still want me. I'm not stupid."

OR BEST YET

"I know you still want me. You're not stupid."


HAAHHAAHA, I love me.

No, I used ****y and funny when we started dating and it turned her off.

She doesn't need a ****y jerk right now, she needs an AFC. She just got divorced from a ****y jerk.

Something like that will set her off again, and she'll cuss me out.

 

[LovelyLady]

I said "Can we be friends again?"

She replied "No"

And that is it. I just got the "No" a few minutes ago. I am not planning on replying.

I am sorry I do not have time to read through all of this - but it seems to me what you are wanting is not just friendship with her.

If her interest in you is still something other than friendship, she would not agree to this.

If you have behaved in a way that has damaged trust beyond repair - then even friendship could not be an option, could it? It is important to be clear about what you want with her.

I hope this helps in some way.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I am sorry I do not have time to read through all of this - but it seems to me what you are wanting is not just friendship with her.

If her interest in you is still something other than friendship, she would not agree to this.

If you have behaved in a way that has damaged trust beyond repair - then even friendship could not be an option, could it? It is important to be clear about what you want with her.

I hope this helps in some way.

Ofcourse I don't just want friendship. And yes the trust has been damaged but I never did anything to her directly. I just banged her when I was still seeing my ex and she found out in the worse possible way.

Plus she hates all men right now. She told me that on New Years Eve before she almost killed me.

 

[SunnyD]

Ofcourse I don't just want friendship. And yes the trust has been damaged but I never did anything to her directly. I just banged her when I was still seeing my ex and she found out in the worse possible way.

Plus she hates all men right now. She told me that on New Years Eve before she almost killed me.

Yikes...sounds familar. Thats what happened to me exactly, and I can tell you from my point of view..yes, I pretty much "hate" him (strong word I dont like to use.) HOWEVER...he made contact...and because there is still SOMETHING there...I was cordial. If I truly never wanted to hear from again (I really didnt, until I had a couple months to stew) then I would tell him to leave me alone. She told you to leave her alone...so I'd say your chances of her coming around are slim. Especially if its been this long.

 

[LovelyLady]

Of course I don't just want friendship. And yes the trust has been damaged but I never did anything to her directly. I just banged her when I was still seeing my ex and she found out in the worse possible way.

is there a "best " possible way to find out your partner has betrayed you?

Plus she hates all men right now. She told me that on New Years Eve before she almost killed me.

:crackup: I don't know why, but this just made me laugh so hard!

Of course she doesn't want you back - she may have missed who she thought you were and wanted to reach out to that illusion because she still hadn't fully integrated the illusion/lie of who you presented yourself to be with the truth of who she discovered you to be. But it was not the REAL you - the one who deceived her - she missed.

But you see, men who cheat are a dime a dozen - she "can find another 'you' in a minute", as Beyonce says (I can't believe I am drawing on pop culture for philosophical resources ) but the fact is - good women want the IRREPLACEABLE guy.

We don't give "second chances" to men we discover are replaceable.

 

[SunnyD]

is there a "best " possible way to find out your partner has betrayed you?



:crackup: I don't know why, but this just made me laugh so hard!

Of course she doesn't want you back - she may have missed who she thought you were and wanted to reach out to that illusion because she still hadn't fully integrated the illusion/lie of who you presented yourself to be with the truth of who she discovered you to be. But it was not the REAL you - the one who deceived her - she missed.

But you see, men who cheat are a dime a dozen - she "can find another 'you' in a minute", as Beyonce says (I can't believe I am drawing on pop culture for philosophical resources ) but the fact is - good women want the IRREPLACEABLE guy.

We don't give "second chances" to men we discover are replaceable.

Love it Lovely..haha. I still remember that advice from you everytime I start to miss "the illusion of he presented himself to be.."

 

[My Name is Nobody]

is there a "best " possible way to find out your partner has betrayed you?

Give me a flipping break. It was our 2nd date, she came back to my place and we banged. I could have banged her on the first date, I was a gentleman and decided to wait. We were NEVER "partners", we had no commitment to each other, it was the 2nd date.

Of course she doesn't want you back - she may have missed who she thought you were and wanted to reach out to that illusion because she still hadn't fully integrated the illusion/lie of who you presented yourself to be with the truth of who she discovered you to be. But it was not the REAL you - the one who deceived her - she missed.

But you see, men who cheat are a dime a dozen - she "can find another 'you' in a minute", as Beyonce says (I can't believe I am drawing on pop culture for philosophical resources ) but the fact is - good women want the IRREPLACEABLE guy.

We don't give "second chances" to men we discover are replaceable.

Again, it was our 2nd date. She never even asked me if I had a girlfriend. Just goes to show how crazy you women are.

I can't help it if I have ex girlfriends stalking me, watching my every move. I don't cheat on girls I have some kind of commitment with.

As for my ex, I had broken up with her several times, she was another crazy who wouldn't leave me alone.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...
:crackup: I don't know why, but this just made me laugh so hard!
...

You should really read the entire thread.

 

[LovelyLady]

You should really read the entire thread.

You are correct Francisco - this is my error and will I be even more amused?

I assumed he was still talking about the girl at the beginning of the thread.

However, it seems from what I have been able to read, that he indicated to the girl who has "passed" on his offer of "friendship" that he presented himself as free from entanglements.

To most women - a man who is still having sex with an ex is not truly available. If you asked her on A DATE - much less a second one - it seems logical she assumed you didn't have a girl friend. But hey, call me crazy

But in all sincerity, My Name Is Nobody - I do think I have done you a disservice by not reading through all your postings - and for that I sincerely apologize.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

You are correct Francisco - this is my error.

I assumed he was still talking about the girl at the beginning of the thread.

However, it seems from what I have been able to read, that he indicated to the girl who has "passed" on his offer of "friendship" that he presented himself as free from entanglements.

To most women - a man who is still having sex with an ex is not truly available. Call me crazy

But in all sincerity, My Name Is Nobody - I do think I have done you a disservice by not reading through all your postings - and for that I sincerely apologize.

You could start by just reading my message right above the one Francisco just posted.

 

[LovelyLady]

I did, I just added to my post/edited while you were writing me. Again, my apologies.