Dating in the UK vs US
I'd like to fully support you guys in the nature of this post as to the concept of dating in the US (and much the same in Australia) VS dating here in the UK.
I've been backpacking around Europe for some time now and seen a good deal of other cultures and how they interact and one thing I'd had to say is that damn you have it tough over here in the UK and Ireland! I've had to rethink my entire game. Back home I have found that the whole dating scene works almost exactly as it seems to in the US and thus the posts seem to hit the nail on the head when it comes to advice. But here its a whole different line of thinking.
My Thoughts and the Odd Observation
One thing I'll keep specific to is to LOCAL UK ladies, my fellow Aussie female bretheren and our other UK and Irish decendants tend to be VERY naughty indeed when abroad...
Austin in response to your post.
1. Cold approaches are almost unknown. Casual pick ups revolve around being drunk in clubs and pubs.
Too right! The tube in London almost had me rolling around in a fit of laughter. When asking for a seat (say if there was something placed on it) would result in no eye contact and the removal of the item with no verbal response. For fun I tried to make eye contact as I was intrigued to see that NO-ONE would match my gaze, looking everywhere else but. This was also so when waiting for the train and playing the new guy in town. Even try opening someone to ask for directions and a nonverbal pointing of the nearest line map was all you could get from them. Let alone trying to strike a conversation with random hotties.
Walking the streets here there seems to be a large number of people working for charity organisations hassling people and people selling magazines and newspapers that can be quite intimidating. At a local supermarket there was this guy that stood out the front who would get in everyones face and shout "issue, you want to buy an issue?". Normally this would not be too weird except the guy had a speech impediment and his tone of voice completely took me by suprise to the point where I could have almost dropped him just for entering my personal space in such a thretening manner. Overall approching anyone on the streets with the intention to get number is not impossible, just be tactful and don't take it too seriously. If you are shot down, take it on the chin and roll with the punches in indifference.
Casual pickups with local ladies being a foreigner is not so difficult (in London anyway). A few words out of my mouth and my cover is blown and the odd Aussie slang phrase keeps the conversation going for hours. Simply add a lot of drinks (at their expense as I'm sooo poor, hehe) and some playful kino seems to drive them wild and invitations to head off somewhere else soon follow.
2. Casual dating is not as familiar. In fact some UK women seem to have a certain resistance to the idea and prefer the thought that things 'just happen'. This is especially true if you look at dating websites, a lot of women will say things like 'I can't believe I'm doing this' etc.
Dating here was strange at first because the natural progression as it was back home is totally different. Casual dating implies that the focus is on the romantic/sexuality in women. Though from what I have noticed asking a lady out here in the UK to "get to know her better" is exactly that. It takes alot of rapport building and demonstrating that you are a fun and interesting guy to even have a chance at spending time together.
On my time in a youth hostel I met a lovely Irish girl who I soon hit it off with. Longing for my lifestyle of dating frequently back home I proceeded to set up dates where we would go sightseeing, coffee and eventually dinner (when she earned it). This was going great as we would always end up laughing and talking dirty, or so I thought. When it came to escalating the attraction on a physical level I was left wondering WTF is this? I've never come across this where the girl is completely into you, but not willing to get all touchy feely. Personally I see physical escallation as a requirement to a good partner and if they can't then you start to wonder about other areas where they are lacking and often break it off or LJBF them. I am more affectionate with most of my female friends than I ever got with this girl. Thats something that I'll have work on and on parting our ways I left her with a big hug to which we exchanged details and offerred me a place to stay "whenever I wanted". Her unsureness was somewhat explained when she mention she was not long out of a LTR and "Doesn't normally do this kind of thing". I get the impression that she was more focused on making a friend as we were both travelling alone.
3. UK women are more cynical and less open to smooth talking or NLP techniques etc. Most would laugh at that sort of thing.
Yes and No. Depending on the angle and material that you use. Heres a few examples.
The Irish girl that I was dating for a bit was very open to the whole fate situation I created, but not to a non possesive but faithful partner.
Situation 1.
After building some rapport and over a few drinks...
Me: Its funny that I'd bump into someone like you here. My whole decison to come here was last minute and I didn't even think I'd even make it! But I'm glad that I did...
Her: Yeah funny isn't it, might even be fate! (jokingly)
Me: Yeah maybe. (Then pause looking deep into her eyes).
One thing to note though was this girl was completely freaked out by ANY kino and my effort to emphasise the point with a light touch of her knee broke her from her state, fcuking up my flow. Go figure.
Situation 2.
Mingling with a few ladies one night the conversation came to travelling by yourself or with someone, then more specifically travelling wiht a partner back home.
Me: Yeah this one girl that I met was travelling with a friend of hers with a husband and 2 kids back home.
The girls: Wow really, I could never do that.
Me: One thing that really suprised me is that it was the husband who had told her to go see the world as he had no inclination to travel. I think thats amazing to think that your partner would allow you to dissapear to do what you want in life. So many partners are so possesive these days, I'd love to have a relataionship half as good as that when I settle down.
The girls: Yeah (lost in deep thought).
The Irish girl: (Bursting out laughing) Haha, sorry. Here you guys are talking about a good relationship and all I can think is I'll bet he did. Just so he could get out and shag somone else while she was away!
Completely unexpected, but I found her sense of humour fun.
4. Many UK women go through a pattern of 2-3 LTRs with AFCs until they are in their late 20s/early 30s when they go mental and date everyone in sight in the search for Mr Right.
Havn't really been here long enough to fully see this, but some of the local ladies that I meet at bars and clubs are "in a relationship" though openly flirt and take the piss out of their BF.
5. LJBF is not considered by many UK women to be a blow out - they seem to be perfectly happy to be friends with men even if they have a bf - I think this is because so many AFCs have been conditioned by feminism to not be 'a threat' to women.
Sitting in an Aussie bar one night in Scotland and after striking up a conversation with a few guys there I was approached by 2 Scottish ladies (very attractive HB8 and HB9 dressed to impress) who asked about the 2 chairs next to me saying "are these seats taken" despite several empty tables. Very interested to find out where I was from they were openly delighted to find out I was an Aussie and the conversation focused mainly on them wanting to travel to Australia. After some time they suggested that they were going to move on and that I should come with them, to which I gladly accepted.
This is the best night I have had out in a long time and come closing time we headed off together. Throughout the night I probed them to find out their staus finding one had a BF though was openly flirting with me, talking dirty and such phrases as "I've never been with an Aussie guy, you all seem much bigger than the guys here (refering to our rugby union players of course). Her friend seemed single, though I wasn't sure. After an invitation to a party at their house the following night, I accepted and told them I was heading off. The somewhat singe lady jumped me and gave me a big hug followed by the taken lady. My instinct still told me something wasn't right so I turned my back and went on my way.
Heading to the party the following night I was suprised to see this girls BF greet me at the door. I got to know all their friends and had a great night, glad to make some local friends. One thing that was suprising in this case was that one of the girls actually did have a BF and the other was engaged to be married and had taken off her engagement ring! VERY friendly ladies I'd say, though I now have a place to stay "whenever I'm in town".
, which results me in going straight ahead and nexting them ...
