Some days things just don’t go your way. There is no getting around it. Last night I had one of those ‘other’ nights... the ones where you stroll into your front door at 10 in the morning, boxers shoved hurriedly in your jacket, operating off of two hours sleep and smelling of pvssy, with a perma-grin etched in your subconscious that says, "No no no...Fvck YOU, world. *In the voice of Boris from Goldeneye* I am invincible!!!!".
So lets start from the top. After putting in a combined 16 hrs at my two jobs yesterday, I end up at the club and Hara is on her way there also. She comes with her guy friend but I aint too concerned. He got b!tches but I don’t think he is going after Hara. Even if he is, oh well.
I see her and say hi quickly. Then i see her again close to the dancefloor with her guy friend and
Anna comes by and starts talking to them. I decide to go in and now and chat with Hara a bit more. Anna eventually leaves but the guy friend stays and his presence is kinda drawing attention away from me and making me self-conscious, so I decide to take her to the bar and buy drinks (I lost my ‘buying drinks for women-ginity” finalllly).
So we are chillaxin at the bar, a lil banter back and forth and her guy friend comes back. He knows people so he wasn’t like sticking to her like glue but he kept reappearing every now and then. The DJ starts playing a decent song so I grab Hara’s hand and take her to the dancefloor.
The club scene was kinda weak and mostly dudes so Hara is easily one of the top 5 girls at the club. She was getting attention from all over, and the short shorts and stilettos combo that accentuated her long legs certainly wasn’t a deterrent.
On the dancefloor, things are a lil off at times – blame it on the a-a-a-a-alcohol – but there were instances where we were grooving. Anticipating each others moves and reacting accordingly. It felt pretty good out there.
I thought about going in for the kiss but then thought otherwise coz in my experiences, drunken kisses in clubs are pretty useless in the long run. Instead, I just came in close face to face and noses touching and then went cheek to cheek.
Like I said, the club was not bumping or anything so me and Hara’s dancing was the focal point even though we relocated outside the main dancing area coz we were getting busy. One thing I didn’t like is that a couple guys I know (and a couple others I didn’t) would come up and pop my collar or just ask me ‘how do i do it’ and dumb sh!t like that. It’s like unwanted bro-mantic advances or some sh!t haha. I can’t see why they do it... It doesn’t make them look any cooler and it certainly doesn’t help me imo coz it makes the girl more aware that others are watching and forming opinions of her.
Anyways, the club winds down and me and Hara are some of the last people to leave. We chill outside the club for fifteen to twenty minutes or so and then she leaves with her lift (her guy friend and another guy friend who went to a different club) She lives on the other side of town but when she reaches home, I text her to give me a call if she wants me come through. After like 20 minutes of waiting, I say fvck it and go in my bed.
I contemplated putting the phone on silent but decide against it. I drift off for mere minutes when I’m awoken by a call.
It’s Hara.
I get there and hop on her living room couch with her, watching tv for a bit before he says we should go to her mom’s queen size bed (Hara lives with her mom but her mom was staying at the boyfriend’s house for the weekend and so she was allll alone
). I’ll spare you guys all the raunchy details. You wouldn't care about how her breast felt in my hand or how smooth her skin was while I was running my hands up along her legs until I got to the....
...yeah.
Haha. Long story short, her mom’s needs to change them sheets ASAP.
I wake up the next morning horny as fvck. Hara slept naked and I still got my boxers and pants off. We start messing around and then I swear I hear someone outside. I tell Hara and she goes out the bedroom to the front door.
...Yes, I sent the woman to investigate the noise, go fvck yourself.
After like 15 seconds, I hear her talking to someone on the other side of the door. I walk out to investigate and my stomach drops. Hara is stalling like a motherfvcker.
.
.
.
.
It’s her mom.
So I’m frozen in the kitchen looking at Hara. The scene in retrospect was too funny/cute. I’m there in a dress shirt with no pants on looking like I saw a ghost, Hara is there butt ass naked, mouthing the word ‘fvck’ over and over to me with a smile that was half-mischievous half-sheer panic. With each knock her moms is getting more and more irate. I mean the sh!t was just like you see on tv. After like a minute of banging on the door while her daughter is just on the other side of the door, she puts two and two together and starts accusing her of having someone over the house.
After another minute (which seemed like a lifetime) Hara gets presentable and readies herself before opening the door. I am like where the fvck am I gonna hide??? At that moment, my hiding spot took on more importance than in the horror movies when the bad guy is too fast/deadly so the victims try ducking somewhere inconspicuous. After tons of panicking I luckily found a hiding spot.
...I went for the ever illustrious ‘hiding in open space’ spot and ducked just inside a wall adjacent to the countertop, praying she would walk right by me.
I hear her walking in my direction and I see the outline of her walking past the wall I am on the other side of, then she stops and turns around. My heart must have skipped a beat or two. It was crippling anxiety on the real. But it looks like the Gods were on my side tonight coz she turned around. I was like 'wheeeeeeeeeeeew'
...Then she turned around and spotted me instantly. D'oh.
I was like ‘Good morning ma’am’. She just told me I am excused and went off it on Hara. She asked her if she was a ***** now and what happened to her bf, etc etc. I grab my sh!t, get out the door and start heading for my ride.
Once I get out of the house, I slowly start regaining feeling in my extremities and snap out of ‘fight or flight’ mode (for me though, a more accurate description would be ‘flight or flight faster’ mode). This is when I realize that I don’t have my boxers on.. I know mother’s day is around the corner and all but something tells me that is not a gift that Hara’s mother wants so I run back in, grab ‘em and shove it in my jacket. Hara’s mom is in the kitchen shouting not so nice stuff to her daughter, while Hara was in the bedroom where my boxers were so I give her a two quick kisses and run out the door. Sh!t was hilarious.
Fvcka equinox, Summer is officially in full effect fellas.
