Diary of a Seducer: Macallik's Approach Journal

[macallik]

Got bored at work yesterday and texted a couple of the chicks I have in the phone. Some responded and some didn't. Here is the one with Kariah:


Macallik (text): I know waiting for you to respond to a text is like waiting for the next Michael Jackson tour but fvck it. What up shawty?
Kariah (text): Lol. Not much. What are you up to?
Macallik (text): Just at work thinking about quitting my job

and then she never responded. Oh well.


When i got home, my phone was vibrating in my pocket. It was Kariah and she was saying lets go out for a night on the town. I replied back tentatively because...Well if I'm being honest, I wasn't 100% sure she texted the right person.

As we text figuring out where we are drinking, she also says that we should grab something to eat as well before we drink. I get a sneaky feeling she is trying to use me for a free ride and red flags are going all over the place.

Macallik (text): Wow, offering pay for my as well as the drinks? Sweeet!
Kariah (text): LOL I never said that
Macallik (text): See this is why chivarly dead. I guess we'll go half and half on everything. it's not as romantic but I won't hold it against you ;-)

Alright, so at least she isn't expecting anything that I aint gonna give her when we go out. It's all about managing expectations baby.

I get to the spot literally 2 minutes before we are supposed to meet and no sign of her so I shoot a text. I wait in the general area for five minutes before I say fvck it and take a slow walk a couple blocks over to grab a beer at the bar. I figure if I'm gonna get stood up, I won't be standing there waiting around like a sucker.

At the bar I order a Heiniken and start drinking my sorrow away. Okay well actually I just drank it to pass the time. I actually surprised myself how little being stood up phased me. I finished my beer and on a walk to my ride I gave her a call and the phone went straight to voicemail. Talk about salt in my wounds.

So when I get to my ride, i shoot her another text:
Macallik (text): damn, if you didn't wanna hang out you could just said so instead of me riding all the way down here. It's an economic recession ya know!

I take off and then say fvck it and decide to see if there are any girlies in the bars. It's a weekday and so it is pretty blah but it's worth a shot. I do a complete circle of the downtown district and then park the ride. Then I notice a a faint vibrating in my pocket. I grab the phone and...


Missed call by Kariah?

 

[macallik]

I call her number back and she picks up. She explains that her phone broke within the 3 hrs that we arranged to meet and our actual supposed meeting. She borrowed a friends phone and put her sim card in. When she called she was now an hour late and said she needed 15 more minutes. Women.

So we meet up at the bar, i decided to forgo the dinner coz I wasn't in a eating mood anymore. She buys the first round and we sit down. It's a pretty crappy bar concerning partying and trying to pick up, but for a beer and conversation it wasn't bad at all.

The both of us are talking and I'm working on getting some connection with her, you know, getting a feel for her so that later I can get a feel on her. Two guys she knows enter the spot and she breaks off what I'm saying mid-sentence to go to them. "Okay that's cool, must be real close friends or something" I think to myself while i whip out my phone to text people instead of waiting on her to wrap up her convo.

She comes back after a minute or two and says that she met them yesterday and can't remember their names. I'm thinking "then why did you hail them up like that and leave me" but I give her the disinterested nod and go back into my convo, phone still in hand and with part of my attention.

So we are talking for about 15 more minutes. Some kino here and there, legs brushing against each other, checking out her shoenail polish by putting her leg in my lap, you know, elementary sh!t. Then another guy comes thru and it is the same sh!t as before. She flirts harder this time and the guy sticks around longer this time as in grabs a chair and sh!t. I mean, I can't blame him coz she is sending out signals like a motherfvcker.

Based on the experience, if this ever happened again, I would just stand up and walk away, no questions asked. Not walk away like walk to the bathroom or to the dancefloor, but walk away as in walk to my ride and ride off without looking back. But I didn't...

So the guy is keen to follow her around but she doesn't quite tell him where we are headed next. As we move to the next spot, I eloquently geared the subject to knowing and understanding people to her not knowing me and not knowing not to do that kinda sh!t in front of me. She agrees and says she can't help it because guys always follow her around, but I felt like my point is heard.

Regardless, I figure this is a pretty crappy night thus far, I might as well get high (Sidenote: Is that how all weed habits start... Just boredom and avaliablity?) So we head towards the grocery store to buy a lighter. Along the way she asks every guy she sees for rizzla and lighters as they walk by. She scores some rizzla paper and sexual advances which she rejects. Horray.

So we go to the park and smoke up. Since it is night time, I get much better isolation and do sommore talking. We get to talking and the topic is women and drinking. She tells me a story about how her ex was in the club dancing with another girl and how she walked up and punched the girl in the face and then threatened to punch her ex. Then her ex left with the other girl and she cried and cried. After hearing such a great story, I really felt like we bonded and she is the kinda girl I wouldn't mind getting into a relationship with[/sarcasm]

So I kino here and there while she is breaking up the weed and rolling it. I had her legs on my lap and kept looking her directly in the eye. I'm tryina get a feel of something before I go in for the kiss but there is nothing there. No extended eye contact or green lights signaling an escalation of kino. I tried a lil bit anyways and she starts talking about going back to the clubs. Grrrr.

So I say fvck it and start walking to the next club. I noticed here that like every other car we passed, Kariah would like at herself in the window to see her reflection and touch herself up or pose. Wow. Also, now that I think about it, about 3-4 times in our conversations I recall her saying things like "You think I look good don't you" and "Doesn't this make me look sexy". She really is like a 7 so when she said that kinda sh!t I just smiled and didn't respond. As if that weren't enough, she randomly started singing Milkshake by Kelis I SWEAR TO GOD!

So yea, we head to the next spot and it is my turn to buy the rounds. We are outside and I can see that things are pretty mediocre in terms of attraction so fvck it, I texting on the phone. An informed onlooker sees this and comes in and asks for a light... aka feels the situation out with something nonchalant. Then it went a lil something like this:

Random Dude: Excusay. Do ewe have a lie-ter I can borro?
Kariah: Yea I got one. *heavy eye contact with dude*
Random Dude: thank you.
Kariah: don't you think a spanish accent is so sexy?

random spanish dude gets engaged in a convo with Kariah. I disengage from the two of them.

Then she wants tries to drag me into the convo again and so i just stay texting on my phone and act like I don't hear her until she taps me. Funny part is the Spanish guy tries to disarm me. I'm feeling like an *******, I don't care if he fvcks her, but not if he gets to fvck at the expense of me. He sticks his hand out to shake mines, I look at it and then go back to my phone. He asks me my name, I look at him and shake my head etc etc. I told him don't talk to me, talk to her.

Once she sees I aint fighting for her honour or partaking in this attempt to make me jealous, she is ready to go. Of course she's been throwin buy signals all day to the Spanish stranger so he does what any sane male would do and he grabs his balls and goes for broke. We get like 1/2 a block away and he is tagging behind us.

All of a sudden she isn't interested in homeboy anymore. It looks like the train of disinterest has another passenger but i'm the fvcking train driver coz I lost interest in her a good hour and a half before that. She starts trying to stick closer to me and talk loudly about how she will "punch him in the fvcking face" if he keeps following her. I am texting on my phone because I don't care who this chick goes home with now that I aint getting any instantly. Eventually, the Spanish dude takes a hint and stops to pee on the sidewalk, allowing for some distance between us and him.

It isn't that she knows a lot of guys but that she tries to show off by knowing and meeting other guys, it was like she had A.D.D. and had to say something whenever someone with an XY chromosome was in the vicinity. I don't care if she is fvcking every Tom D!ck and Harry but you don't go out of your way to show it. That would only impress the simplest of men who correlates how many men got with her -> how desirable she must be.

So long story short, we head to another club, she starts talking to some dudes at the bar, I bounce and go to another club which is dead. I call it a night and head home.

All in all the night was not a waste because

a) we alternated rounds and she bought the first and last round so I got at the least one free drink out of the night
b) she let me smoke for free and
c)I worked on my rapport.

But in terms of the date itself... worst I ever been on.

I'm gonna take a nap and decide whether Imma go out when I wake up. I aint super stoked about partying tonight, plus I'm not sure how many more damn Michael Jackson songs I can take while I'm intoxicated without taking a sh!t on the dancefloor and throwing my feces at the DJ.

 

[macallik]

Went out last night, danced with a couple girls but none wanted to stick around for more than a song or two. Hooked up with Hara and fvcked her in a jacuzzi at a hotel. Not the smartest place to fvck in mid-July... I felt light-headed and had a shortness of breath afterwards, it was kinda scary.

Need new plates.

 

[macallik]

After work just over a week ago, I went and hung out with Rhiannon for a lil date. We took a nice little walk around the downtown area after the rush hour commotion had died down and then we relaxed in the park. It was not bad for a first date. No awkward lulls in the conversation or lack of things to talk about in general.

Being that she is friends with Aries, I was on my best behaviour and my d!ck didn't make any cameos like they did with Aries either. Also, I guess I respect her more because she seems more interesting and compatible than I felt with Aries. I remember when it started raining midway through the date and we were laughing and fighting over who has to hold the umbrella and I thought to myself, "This isn't a bad date".

However, I'm just not 'digging' her vibe like I could be, she seems too vanilla for me at least. Her age makes her seem a lil naive too. She seems like the kind of girl you get in a relationship with... only to end up cheating on her with someone else in a relatively short period of time. I'll keep yall updated.

 

[jacob]

I love this thread man. keep it up bro.

 

[rushing dude 123]

Hey macallik gotta say first off thanks for that slap back into reality on me and telling me how it is. I am not like that to just go with the flow and let life and everyone drag me down, i make my own destiny no matter how many obstacles in my way and never giving up ever.

Dude u seem to b doing great for urself, don't settle for second best. I like to think i know what type of person u r, so in my opinion i think u gotta spin more plates. Don't get in a relationship with someone u r not happy with just to cheat on them later because u found something better. When u find the right chick there should b no questions of "should i, shouldn't i" it is 100% certanty. I think u already know this.

So dude ur doing well but keep pushing urself get those other plates. Because once u have that option of having something else and declining it all for someone, u can truly say that u like that person. Good to see u hitting this journal hard though man i can definettly see u have upped ur game.

 

[macallik]

Thanks for tha kind words Jacob. The little people are what make my job so much easier. Not saying that your little in comparison to a literary great such as myself or anything but if you're thinking it now, then hey, who am I to stop ya?

No prob RD. And you're right, I do need some new plates. I've lost the motivation to even text my current ones. It all boils down to me not being interested enough.

 

[jacob]

Thanks for tha kind words Jacob. The little people are what make my job so much easier. Not saying that your little in comparison to a literary great such as myself or anything but if you're thinking it now, then hey, who am I to stop ya?

good one.

 

[macallik]

Right now, my new job sucks. Not sucks like "Man, I'd rather be on the beach than at work" sucks, but more like "So this is the kind of job where the phrase 'going postal' comes from..." sucks. I actually started pricing guns on my lunch break the other day...

LMAO, okay that joke is a lil too far in this politically correct world and I honestly haven't been thinking about Steve McNair'ing staff while they sleep at their desks, (too soon?) but long drawn-out joke short, I don't like my job.

Imagine those people at your job who don't get any work done because they are gossiping, calling 5-6 friends to tell the same story and the same punchline/problem with your relationship/proposition for money. While they are efficient at managing to do this and still take a 2 hour lunch break, these people always seem on the verge of losing their job for some reason? The kinda people I am talkin about are okay to hang around with here and there but lacking the kinda substance you are looking for to take out and have them on your side and extreeeeemely lacking what it takes to work side by side with.

Okay, you got a picture of the kinda person I'm talking about, yea? well imagine by some freak accident or opportunity of irony that God thought was too good to pass up on, these people where promoted to management. Then imagine management hired staff who either acts like them or grows to act like them because of the example they set... Welcome to my world.

I mean, it is expected for an entry level peon such as myself to just not give a fvck, but I do my best to appear interested about a customer's situation. However, when sh!t goes bad (which it always does in my company) every customers says a variation of the same sh!t...

- Get me the manager
-I wanna speak to your supervisor
- No I cannot accept the price/date you are giving me, transfer me to someone higher up than you


It's hard explaining to the customer that the manager is "out shoe shopping" or that she was "hungry and decided to take half the staff out to get ice cream so that's why it took 15 minutes for the four people actually doing work to get to your call " or my (recurring monthly) all time favorite, "Every month she takes a week off even though she is the only one authorized to deal with your situation, try back in a week" so normally I send em to the voicemail.

What I fail to tell the customer is that my managers don't check voicemail unless it is on their personal cellphone and involves:

a) one of their friends saying something stupid while drunk
b) a message their ex left that they like to replay to this day (creeeepy)
c) one of their friends who never pays their bills but always calls to get the manager to let it slide.

..so as expected the customer calls back the next hour/day/month with the exact some problem except he is that much more pissed off until by some accident the customer gets what he actually wants or discontinues his services with us.

This cycle continues every day with every customer who has a problem. I feel like Sisyphus except at the end of the day there is no existential parable to draw on from my situation. Kafka would look at this situation and say, "There is no inner struggle, just tell the dumb azz b!tch to do her f0oking job and help a customer!"


That's just the tip of the iceberg of the general suckyness of my workplace, and I can go on and on and complain about the trivial things about my life i dislike, but I'm pretty sure blogspot.com has like a copyright on that so I'll just leave it at that at the risk of being sued.

S'like this...I'm still working there coz I need to make money to fund the move outta my hometown desperately, but I'm looking for a new job on the low.

Today I went to a government sponsored employment agency today and had to endure some washed up, past her prime (and expiration) date b!tch talk about how sh1tty my resume was and how my reasoning was so infathomable that when I tried to tell her my logic behind it she said "don't even need to tell me why you tried to do this way"... twice.

But hey, if getting a new job involves some hag talking sh!t or getting a new one ripped, I'll give her a list of patronizing things to say to me if she wants it and spread my butt checks.

Please don't picture that in your head btw, pictures tend to add 10 pounds and that doesn't do me the justice I deserve.

 

[macallik]

Got digits at the club last night from a girl named Diamond. And no, she is not a stripper.

She gave me a big smile when she walked by initially so I struck up a convo. She said she talked to me before. I doubt it but I rolled with it. No cell phone but she did give me the house # and took my # down. We were having a good time but I had to meet up with some friends so we parted ways after like 1/2 hour or so. I'll see what's up soon enough

 

[macallik]

Diamond gave me a yesterday. Found out a good bit about her. She is cool but she does talk a lot about any and everything. There is nothing wrong with discussing previous relationships but I don't need to know that your bf cheated on you during our 2nd conversation. That instantly makes you seem like you are lacking something that warrants cheating.

Anyways, after the convo hit the hour mark, i was like yeah i gotta bounce now. There was talk about going to dinner together, but nothing concrete coz I was also plannin on going to the beach with friends. She was feeling the vibes based on the convo and trying to get a feel for if I'm a player or not.

I hit up the beach with friends for a day-long party. I'm sitting in my beach chair, Heiniken in hand, scoping the scene. I make eye contact with a familiar looking chick and it's Rhiannon with Aries. I smile and Rhiannon comes up to me. I gave her congratulations on finally being legal and we have like a 30 second convo before she says she has to go. Whatever.

As day turns to night, I see Hara strolling around. I hit her up via text and find out she is going home to change. I gotta go home to get my ride soon as well but I say I'll holla at her when we get back.

One of my friends gives me a lift to my car and he sees two chicks at a bus stop. Of course, being that I have copious amounts of liquor in me, I tell him turn around so I can holler and since he has some liquor in him, he obliges. We get there and the girls aren't what i thought they were. They are cute but not my type normally. They were looking to hitchhike to the event we were leaving but since it was three dudes in a car they passed on us. Not that we offered but they kinda backed out on pitching the idea of hitchhiking when they looked inside.

I get changed, grab a Heiniken from out of my friend's fridge and head back to the venue. Who should I spot as soon as I get back but the two chicks from the bus stop. I bump into them and we gets to talking. Well kinda, lol. They are both spanish speaking (made them sexier automatically btw) and one doesn't speak good English at all, while the other does and interprets.

So there I am, trying to remember those rudimentary phrases out of my high school Spanish class but the only real memory of the class that comes up is a discussion on who is a better rapper out of Ja Rule and 50 Cent when Get Rich or Die Trying came out and was blowing up.

Luckily, when I worked at my last job atthe restaurant, there were 4-5 Mexicans and so I did better than I expected. It was a cool conversation, they were like 39 and 32 so they said some sh!t about age pretty soon. It's hard to be C&F with the language barrier so I didn't fire anything back. We talked for a good 20 minutes before they said they were going to the bar and it was nice talking to me.

After that I text Hara and we kick it with her for 10-15 minutes in between me scoping out the scene. The scene was wack coz the music had no one dancing and the people who remained seemed to be the ones who didn't have the ID to get into real clubs.

After wandering around aimlessly looking for legal chicks that looked dtf, I texted Rhiannon to see where she is at and went back to her. She was pretty indifferent towards me being there and kept turning back to Aries when we spoke. Body language was kinda stand-offish and all as well, just wasn't getting a good vibe. Aries tapped me on the shoulder as if to get me to acknowledge her as well, I gave her the head nod and went back to Rhiannon. After a minute or two, I told Rhiannon that she didn't seem talkative so I'll leave her alone and ejected.

Walking along the scene and who do I see but Diamond. I told her I gave her a shout around 8:30 but her (house) phone just rang. She was friendly but she didn't talk as much or show as much interest as she did on the phone earlier or the day I met her. She actually relocated elsewhere with her friend after we talked for a minute or two and I just didn't feel like bumping into her again like I did with Rhiannon so I just didn't re-engage her.

Night was winding down, so I go back to kicking it with Hara. She is bored as well so I tell her lets go for a walk, we go and her guy friend tags along. WTF

So I'm like oookay. Eventually though, he passes out on a random table we are sitting on so me and Hara take the walk and fool around on the beach a little before the party ends and everyone goes home.

It was an okay day, not terrible. I'm interested to see whats up with Diamond coz altho she aint the girl I tryina make my one and only, she seems like cool peoples. I wouldn't mind getting in an open relationship with her. As for Rhiannon, meh. I could care less, I just wanna stick my pee-pee in her now that she is legal.

 

[macallik]

Went out night before last to some Dj showcase thing. Hopped on a couple girls and danced a bit. Had a real good night coz my friends were there drunk and we were just feeding off each other.

I see a chick smile and wave at me. I walk up and she looks hella young.

Chick: Remember me?
Macallik: .... (<---- these are the extra seconds it takes to recognize ppl when drinking)
Macallik: ..yea your that 16 year old I met. Your too young, goodbye.

After that she started calling me a freak and a loser or some sh!t, haha. Whatever, afterwards I tried hit on the girl she was with and hoping for the best but she ended up being 15. Jesus Christ.

Also at the end of the night I see a chick just people watching although there is nothing worth watching really. I go in...

Macallik: Usually in my experiences when the cute girl is by herself she is waiting for her man..
Chick: *blank stare*
Macallik: Errr... yes... no, maybe? No compredne? haha
Chick: *Some sh!t I didn't understand but I did pick up on the accent
Macallik: Ohhhh yo hablo espanol?

I dunno how low the odds are of me bumping into these spanish speaking chicks but one more and Imma go Michael Phelps and buy Rossetta Stone (16 Gold Olympic medals can't be wrong). Anyways we are talking for a bit me in broken Spanish and her in broken English. She seems receptive and then a dude comes and they start arguing in Spanish. I notice he was one of the showcasing DJs but she introduces dude as her husband, all nonchalant and sh!t.

I felt like I was in the middle of a lover's quarrel coz obviously they are talking about her talking to me. It was lame coz she won the arguement and he went and sat in the corner sulking while she stayed talking to me. Then after a while she felt bad so she fvcking goes over to him and grabs my hand and brings me with her. I think it was an attempt to show that I am not a threat or that we are just conversing but I tryina fvck broad.

Then he started having to translate stuff I was saying to her that she didn't understand. Awkkkkkward. After a while I figured that I was either gonna get stabbed by this guy or end up in a devil's threesome so I ejected.

 

[macallik]

Not much to update on. Haven't spoken to Hara or Rhiannon recently and neither are too interested in talking to me either lately. I called Diamond on my early lunch break on Monday because I figure she'd be hard to reach at night coz she works and don't have a cell. It went well with lots of flirting and a flowing convo, she likes to talk but she is interesting so I don't mind listening.

Anyways I wrap up the convo by pitching the idea of us hanging out on Tuesday and she accepts. Tuesday rolls around however and she called saying she had to take a friend to a hospital and that it was personal. She said she will call me if she gets out early enough or we can just hang out the next day. It didn't sound too convincing and listening to the girl next to me at work makes me believe these kinda things even less but w/e. I don't take flakes nearly as personal as I used to... But yea, at the end of the night, I didn't get a call.

The next day (yesterday) when I called her house on Wednesday, she wasn't home. Hit the club and it was weak which is kinda depressing. It's hard to GFTOW whenever if the TOW are nowhere to be found on a popular clubbing night. As for Diamond, I'll call her after the weekend is over if she doesn't give me a call back.

 

[macallik]

Taking Stock

To be honest I cannot see myself working behind a desk for any extended period of time in my life. Jobs are like girls to me, you stay there while things are clicking and fun and move on when the magic is gone. Knowing this, i know imma have to make a little (read: a decent amount of) side dough to live comfortably.

I ordered a couple books off amazon last year and I figured I might as well use the spare time inbetween answering phones for a living to do a lil self-educating. So I started with:





if you're clueless about the stock market and want to know more - Seth Godin
The book is great. Of course it starts out with the meaningless stuff in every stock market book like how Wall Street got its name but hold onto your hat after that, it is all worth it.

The book starts at ground zero and works its way up. What I like also is that it isn't one of those texts that try to impress/confuse you with big words. It is like a friend explaining things to you. If you are like me and know nothing about futures, options, shorting, margin calls, DJIA, then this book is for you.

This book doesn't give a whole lot of information on picking stock but it does offer some tried and true methods such as CANSLIM and basic evaluation of a company to decide whether it might be worth a long term investment.

At the end of the book, you won't feel confident to go out and buy a stock, but you will definitely feel well on the way towards it. It demystifies the stock market so that you can finally start learning about it and bridging things together.


The Wall Street Journal Guide to Understanding Money and Investing
I read pretty much the whole book other than the section on Bonds because I don't feel at a point in my financial life where bonds are a viable option.

This book was helpful although a good bit of it is abstract and irrelevant to someone who wants to do their own personal trading. It was the best with their in-depth breakdown of things that are a little complicated to understand to a newbie such as shorting a stock and getting stuck in a squeeze play or buying on a margin and having a margin call.

Also their breakdown of Futures was good as well. Through this book I realized futures are definitely too risky for me but I understand how they work now.

I learned a thing or two here that I didn't learn in the other book, but it was mostly related to reading about your stock in the WSJ as opposed to anything too important

A Beginner's Guide To Daytrading - Toni Turner
Okay, I pick most of my self-education books the following way. I head to amazon.com, typed in the field I'm interested in and then sort the results based on their review score and popularity. This is the book beat out the rest.

Honestly, the book is called the Beginner's Guide but I highly reccomend you read more about the market rather than just this book. This book operates in a bubble of trading and if you don't know much else about the market, I can see someone getting burned.

With that said, this book was great. It is definitely all about technical analysis. Things like drawing support/resistance, fibonacci numbers, candlestick charts, just to name a few. It is the kinda stuff that seems mind boggling at a glance, especially the chart reading, but the author does an excellent job of breaking things down. One or two things you will need to reread before you understand but there is no need to bring a stock market dictionary with you for the breakdown of terms or strategies: if it is in this book, it is understandable.

Another amazing thing about the book is that there is a lil quiz at the end of every chapter. It is like a school textbook except it is interesting to read and not too wordy or drawn out. Everything is told to you in a conversational tone as opposed to the lecture-esque tone you often find in a standard textbook.

The only flaw I can find in the book has nothing to do with the book really but was just irksome things that probably only stand out to me coz I took a couple English classes.

For example, some of the metaphors or analogies are terrible, to the point where you wonder if the analogy was written in a different language and then translated poorly. Also every chapter ends with some new-age psycho babble that's part Tony Robbins part Hinduism, but you after a while you just learn to skip over them. In a no nonsense field such as day trading, all that matters is brain, balls and having bank so it comes as a suprise when the author says things so unimportant and irrelevant such as explaining the candlestick charts through Eastern Mythology and what the Doji signifies in Eastern culture. It's like, lady I don't care if this sh!t is on the other side of the 10 commandments, if it can make me money, don't try and pass some weak ass banter to go with it.

But all in all, amazing book. I am actually gonna reread it in a couple weeks and then enter my first real trade.


In conclusion if you too are thinking about being in the market, I would say immerse yourself into the culture. I find myself tuning into CNBC and Bloomberg, papertrading online, researching articles at investopedia, reading the business section of the paper, etc etc. I don't do this 24/7 but I do do it a decent amount of time. It really is quite fascinating.

 

[macallik]

Yesterday I was pooped from staying up late the previous night so after I got home, I crashed on the bed. I woke up with a text from Hara and I replied a couple times b4 I let it fizzle out. I was about to drift back asleep when my phone starts ringin instead of the regular text msg tone... Diamond was calling me.

She had just got home after knocking off work. We talk up a storm until about 1 in the morning where we decide to go out for a lil drinky drinky at a bar. Of course I know that by the time we get ready and get to the venue we will only have time for one or two drinks so I throw a bottle of ****spur in the ride. She calls me when she is ready and I speed to her place to pick her up.

I follow her directions as best as I can and by the grace of God end up outside her house. Hit her up on her house phone but I still end up having to wait like 5-10 minutes in her sh!tty neighborhood. (Sh!tty, sh!tty as in her ex got shot in a drive-by last month) Lucky for me, it was quiet and uninhabited when I got there but that doesn't mean I wasn't planning escape routes in my head if things went sour. Any sudden movements and I was out of that fvcker

When she came out of the house she was actually looking better then I remembered. Her face reminds me of the rapper Trina and she also had a great smile. As for the body, she strutted out in some high heels which is always a joy to watch.

I like my girls teetering closer towards skinny than thick. I don't like em Kate Moss skinny but I would take an Amerie over a Beyonce any day and twice on any day the ends with a 'y'. However, based on what Diamond was wearing when I bumped into her at the beach party before, my impression was that she was closer to the chubby side of thick than the skinny side of thick. (In case your wondering, too thick for me is when my 130 lbs ass can't pick you up when we fvcking) but after seeing her last night, she is thick in a way I don't mind at all. Like she can wear a bikini without the need to feel insecure.

In fact, she had the midsecton midsection was showing a bit with the belly button piercing to boot. She had a tattoo starting on her oblique that disappeared from view at her panty line. She also had a tattoo where the back of her neck meets her hairline and one or two others I can't remember. She didn't strike me as the tattoo type but with the people she hangs around with it aint too surprising I suppose. I think they are a waste of time but I won't dock too many points for em, lol.

At first I was a little nervous when we were riding but I loosened up after 4-5 minutes and went back to being my ****y self. Imma post up some more C&F stuff I say in my next report coz my mind is operating on very little sleep and I never remember what I say unless I make an effort to.

We get to the venue and I lose her in a crowd as soon as I get there. I later find out that she went to the bathroom to freshen up but at the time I had no idea where she was. I searched for a bit then I just killed time by texting Hara. Hara links me back saying she is feeling beyond buzzed and I get instant wood thinkin of fvcking her again so my stupid ass invites her to the spot I'm at with Diamond. Wtf?!?!

So Diamond returns and we are at the bar ordering a drink. In my mind I am contemplating whether I get some kinda bonehead of the night award for wanting my cake and trying to eat it too. when Diamond asked to use my phone. She wants to check up on her younger friend who is new to clubbing and purportedly extremely drunk. I gave Diamond my phone and wouldn't you know it, Hara texts me while Diamond has the phone. Diamond didn't say anything but the message prompt had been exited out of, that means although Diamond didn't open the text, she certainly saw the alert message with the name attatched.

Luckily for me, Hara's ride doesn't feel like heading to the venue I'm at so he takes her home b4. Really poor judgment on my behalf there though, my d!ck and the possibility of bustin a guaranteed nut overruled all logic.

As the night winds down things are still going swimmingly with me and Diamond so I drop her off at her place... so that she can pick up cups and ice to go with my ****spur and then head to the beach to chill for a bit.

The beach was uninhabited save for a bunch of kids who start a bonfire. We head to a little secluded cove around the corner and start drinking. We started out sitting on seperate rocks, talking to each other and from there it led to walking in the water brushing shoulders. From there it led to sitting down with her in my lap to full on grinding and foreplay until another couple kindly interrupted just when things were getting hot and heavy.

So we got up when they came and walked up and down the moonlit beach (for all you romantic readers ;-)) After that we just cycled between talking, making out and laying sprawled and intertwined in the sand, trees or whatever looked comfortable until the sun came up.

The Sun wasn't the only thing that came up at the end of the night however. I must have fielded about twenty "Are you a player" "Who is Hara" "I couldn't fall for you coz you could hurt me" "Who are you seeing right now" related questions. For most of em I just didn't know what to say. I tried my best to not deny or admit to anything. She kept insinuating she wasn't gonna call me anymore at various times throughout the nite and called me an asswhole a couple times but I got a call this morning so I'm in like Flynn I'm pretty sure.

In retrospect, it felt like just another night out for me, but when we were sitting off alone at the beach, Diamond was like, "You know everybody innit? Every other person was talking to you". I recalled being in my "check-out b!tches" mode at the bar and seeing a low selection there, but when I stop and look back at all the people who I talked to or who called me out in passing, there was like 10-15 people. Majority dudes but still... I feel like I'm finally making a name for myself in my hometown. I like how it feels...

Now, I'm gonna read up on some plate theory. Diamond is easily the leading lady right now and I wanna spend more time with her without making any commitments or promises. I'll probably just phase out the others while I look for more girls of Diamond's quality.

 

[macallik]

Just got Madden 10. Please include my social life in your prayers tonite...

 

[Don Israel]

Madden 10? you gonna a few long prayers from your fellow dj's . when i got this pc game (dawn of war) ,i sacrificed a goat so i that i wouldn't lose most of my girls.

 

[macallik]

Okay. Wow. Let's see where to begin in this disappointment.

Saturday evening, I call Diamond, she is out. Aite, cool. Sunday, I call her and she is up a friends house, no biggie. Monday I call and she is on the phone and she says she will hit me back later. Ooookay? 10 hrs later and nothing so I give her a call around 11 pm

Macallik: Hello can I speak to Diamond
Mother: Who is this
Macallik: Macallik
Mother: ...Diamond isn't in right now.
Macallik: *laugh filled with anger and frustration* okay

So now I am fvcking fuming. Obviously this chick is screening my calls. So right there I delete that number from the phone outta frustration and to avoid being that obsessed dude that leaves 7 voicemails in a drunken night.

Of course, I still dig the girl so it is on my mind 24/7. What did I do wrong after things clicked so much? Did she bump into an ex? I know her and Hara model, are they on the same circuit? Did someone talk sh!t about me? My mind was running wild with scenarios and reasons for her actions.

I decide that I'll hit up her job once I've calmed down which is the best tactic I've learned concerning problems with women. Nothing gets achieved when you are angry and irrational and then you always end up saying or acting in a way you regret.

So i take a couple days to calm down and I'm back to my normal self. After work on Saturday, I knock off and hit up her job. She is alll smiles, very happy to see me. Me, I'm playing the C&F as normal, I leave on a high note after having a good 5-10 minute convo. and then remember I don't have her # and so I run back in and tell her to call me later.

She calls when she knocks off that evening, flowing convo like before. Like 2 hrs fly by and then I casually invite her to hang out she declines. Alright it was late, cool.

I give her a call Sunday and everything swimmingly, talking bout she was just thinking bout how fun our nite was blah blah. We talk, I invite her out a couple places and she declines each one. Now I am gettin pissed but I don't show it. However, some sh!t happens @ her house and she disappears from the phone, I wait about 2-3 minutes for her to return b4 I say fvck it, and hang the hell up. She calls back after like 5 minutes all nonchalant and I blow the fvck up. We get into a big argument and I finally talk about the situation and how her actions were on some next level bullsh!t.

We get into this convo and she reveals that she stopped responding coz she needed to think about our situation and she decided she doesn't want to get involved coz we get along well and she really can see herself falling for me but since I'm leaving in a couple months she doesn't want get hurt coz I will move on but she will keep thinking about me and what I'm up to, how she will like me still and I will just move onto the next chick.

Me, all I can think of is living in the now and having as much fun and memories for the couple of months we have together and so I let her know that when the time comes I will regret leaving but I want to spend tons of time with you, but this chick is on some next level defeatist attitude, sh!t like "Maybe I'm supposed 2 end up alone", "you don't know what it's like to have your heart broken like I did" "I refuse to get hurt like I did before" and maaaad sucker sh!t.

I swear to God I wanted to curse this chick off and tell her that since she don't see me with long hair, an open shirt or a horse in the distance that this aint no romantic novel where I dedicate my life to convincing you to stop being afraid of getting hurt. I have my own needs and insecurities to deal with and I can't help shoulder yours if you don't deal with some of them yourself.

But I didn't.

It was extremely disappointing and gutwrenching hearin this stupidness coming from the girl's mouth especially since she probably the most spinnable plate I've met in 3 years. It is literally illogical trying to understand how she expects her life to change acting like such a sorry ass b!tch and I tried to convince her otherwise but to no avail.

I never thought I'd be the one who threw myself head first into the abyss only to find out that the girl I came with has too much baggage to follow suit. It hurts but knowing I can do that should easily make for better, longer relationships for my future plates. I'll get over it in a week or till I meet the next plate.

Gonna go burn some niggas on Madden. Deuces fellas

 

[macallik]

Okay, the saga with Diamond is pretty much over I'm assuming. She bought a phone and started texting me and then I tried hang wit her and she denied me to go to some house party, then texted me tha next morning talkin about, "I just don't get it".

I felt like an idiot tryina holla @ her and she tryina bounce to a party so I told her, I do got it, this whole 'me chasing you' thing is not gonna pan out and I realize that now. It would be best if you delete my # and I'll delete yours. She responded a couple times to which I ignored and she hasnt responded since. I got the urge to hit her up a couple times but luckily I deleted the digits so its no contact for sure.

Saturday night I went out clubbing and saw Hara. She was sticking close to me for a bit but some dude was hitting on her so I gravitated away from her to give him a shot and then bounced from the club when I got bored.

Go to the new club and nothing much is worth talking about. At the end of the night though, the lights came on and I saw a cutie sitting by herself. One guy was walking away and I just walked up, no hesitaition... kinda surprised myself.

Macallik: hey whats up how you doin
Aesha: Hey you alright
Macallik: So.... who's the guy? Is that your man?
Aesha: *scrunches face* Thats my friend. He comes out with us sometimes
Macllik: Oh alright, I just didnt want to be impeding on a possible love connection.
Aesha: *polite smile*

So we get to talking and she is responding but not like I want. To summarize she was just not showing signs of interest. Like her friend walked by and she grabbed the opportunity to engage her while i'm sitting there conversing with her.

For what its worth, my conversation skills are definitely getting better and I felt like I was just effortlessly jumping from topic to topic like a savvy politician. I transitioned seamlessly from her past relationship to my situation w/ Diamond to stuff I learned about relationships in university to what she took in university to what was her goal after university, etc etc.

At the end I went for the mandatory close attempt and she declined. No skin off my back, she was 25 and I think she was a little offput looking more mature than me anyways. I get a text from Hara saying some old guy is hitting on her outside so I swing thru and she is sitting there by herself. Sit off with her a bit on the street and then her ride comes. I try to get some but it doesn't pan out.

 

[macallik]

Yesterday I got a call from my boy sayin to head to the club. I go up his house and pregame and shoot the sh!t before heading to the spot. Fun times. At the club it was the same as Saturday, some girls but not getting any real decent signals.

I am casing the joint and I see a skinny chick from the back standing by herself looking over the balcony. I walk away and then convince myself to turn around and go in. Right when I am about to speak I see she is cute. Yay.

Macallik: Hey whats up. Usually in my experience, when the cute girl is by herself she is waiting for her man to get her a drink?
Sarae: No thanks I'm not drinking anymore today

Ummm wtf? Someone obviously didn't get the opener but I roll with it anyways, just tryina get the party started

So we talk and talk and talk. She got cute dimples and a lil petit shape that I like. She is 1/2 Jamaican so I tell her I don't believe her and tell her to say something to me in Patois, she I tries to and I bust the sh!t out of her how she has been living in America too long and get the playful banter started and it was throughout the entire interaction.

A big song comes on and she starts dancing right next to me so I man up and go to grind on her and she pushes me away and says she doesn't dance with me. I'm still not getting what I would call a red light so I pump the brakes and talk some more. She is 24 and on vacation visiting family and is heading back home on Wednesday.

We flow from topic to topic easily like I did with the chick on Saturday. We talk about relationships, expectations, the differences where I am from and where she is from. One part I remember is:

Sarae: You guys got it easy.
Macallik: Whatever, you women talk all that independent woman stuff with all of your Ne-Yo and Beyonce. Equal rights!
Sarae: Yea, but where I'm from, if a girl did what you guys did, she would be a h0.
Macallik: yea thats why you save all of that stuff for when you are on vacation and no one will find out, lol
Sarae: *playful punch* OMG you are so bad. I can't believe you just said that

So we are talking and deep in convo I suppose you'd call it. Some dude taps her on the shoulder and hands her a drink. I tease her for letting him buy her a drink and her shutting me down and how insecure I feel as a result and she tells me that he is her cousin and he took her out to show her a good time.

I go for the # and she declines. A couple minutes later she leaves the spot, but I'm pretty confident in my position so I just stand there facing forward and she returns in literally 2 minutes.

Her cousin comes back and says he wants to take a picture of the guy who is sweeping her off her feet away from her boyfriend on vacation or some sly hater sh!t like that. I don't let it phase me and go back to her after the pic, that covered my face for, is taken.

The night starts winding down and we head downstairs, grab a bench and talk sommore. I go for the # again and get it easily. I wanted to go in for the kiss bad but I never had a open shot so to speak.

I arranged to try and get a hang out 2nite but I go off from her on the phone about an hour ago and she didn't sound bout it. But damn the long distance charges, imma give her a call once I type this up and go for the hail mary for hanging out. She is hesitant coz she got a man and I think she don't want her fam to judge her but I know deep down she wants to kick it at least.