Depressing reddit post - what advice can be given to the masses of men in this situation?

[MatureDJ]

https://www.reddit.com/r/lonely/comments/1fmlfay

I'm 27 and never had a date.

I know the feeling. Almost 26 years old here, and I am completely invisible to women. At this point I've lost the will to even date. Plus dating apps completely wrecked my self esteem.

40. I did it by reflecting on how trash my dating life was and realizing I'm not good enough. It may sound like I'm putting myself down. But I had to hit myself with realism. Once the last girl I tried to talk to ghosted me, that was it for me. It's like I suddenly woke up. Now I don't even worry about dating, love, sex. I got through the hurt of it & accepted that I'll be alone, that took it to another level.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Tell them to travel overseas. Western women are ruined by feminism and the state encourages it.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I know middle aged incels. It is beyond over for them. My advice would be do Whatever it takes. Move Heaven & Earth while you are still young. I’m sure my middle-agedCel friends never dreamed they’d be where they are now.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Get rid of the self defeatist attitude

Stop lusting over online women way way way out of their leauge

Stop watching p*rn

Get a skill in something

Learn to cook / dance / sing / play guitar whatever ( these hobbies are like chick crack )

Start fishing in shallower waters , there are PLENTY of 4/5/6's out there who are getting ZERO male attention because they physically can't compete with the more attractive women

Earlier I the year I randomly ended up living with a HB5 redhead ok she wasn't going to win any beauty awards but she was a decent girl and with a bit of makeup would defenitley get someone going

in the 6 months I lived with her she got a grand total of 1 date , I fvcked 6 different women in the same period

These girls are not difficult to please and will give equal effort if you've got fvck all experience with women this is where you have to start like it or not.

 

[BPH]

It's hard to feel bad for them.

They'd rather an echo chamber than self-improvement.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Tell them to travel overseas. Western women are ruined by feminism and the state encourages it.

Go buy yourself a Ukranian / Russian / Bulgarian Roma bride?

 

[Mike32ct]

“The right one will come along when you least expect it.”

Umm not really lol.

 

[BaronOfHair]

https://www.reddit.com/r/lonely/comments/1fmlfay

Spend less time hanging around on Reddit, sulking among guys who aren't succeeding, and more time in the company of men committed to helping themselves

While I'm not without compassion for those fellas(We all have rough patches), this sort of crap is the equivalent of spending one's every waking hour FANTASIZING about playing Radio City Hall some day, while never actually taking the stage on open mic night, much less sharpening one's craft enough to become a full-time comic

 

[SW15]

It's hard to feel bad for them.

They'd rather an echo chamber than self-improvement.

I agree with self-improvement. Self-improvement can only go so far.

There are a lot of guys that will make some progress in self-improvement but not nearly enough to be competitive in one of the harshest sexual marketplaces in history.

There are multiple reasons that there are masses of men being left behind in the current sexual marketplace.

“The right one will come along when you least expect it.”

That is a big blue pill myth.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Self-improvement can only go so far

A man is wise to calibrate his expectations: If he's expecting his kill count to be comparable to that of The Rat Pack's at the height of their fame, then no... That's not likely to happen, nor frankly SHOULD it. TRP was doing all that s-it in a world that was Pre-AIDS, and those days have been gone for at least 40 years now

"There are a lot of guys that will make some progress in self-improvement but not nearly enough to be competitive in one of the harshest sexual marketplaces in history"

It's tough out there sometimes, that said, today's environment sure as hell beats the first several centuries of our species, where guys gained and lost their women via tribal raids and killing off potential rivals. For all the obstacles we face here in '24, there's ample cause to be grateful as well

 

[Solomon]

It's hard to feel bad for them.

They'd rather an echo chamber than self-improvement.

I used to feel bad for incels too but when I saw KentTV get in shape and now he has a girlfriend or even the ugly on youtube who went viral now has a cute wife.I don't feel sorry for them anymore. These guys are lazy for the most part, unambitious, not educated, live at their mama's basement yet think they are entitled to a "Sara Carpenter" lmfaooo. I remember seeing a popular blackpill channel who was 57 year old Indian guy living in his mom's basement can't make this up.

Nope 40% of men throughout history never got to pro-create. This is the easiest era ever to get laid, getting a girlfriend and wife is harder at the end of the day in anything in life as a man you gotta roll up your sleeve and grind. No one will give a shyt about but yourself!

 

[Travel memoir21]

I used to feel bad for incels too but when I saw KentTV get in shape and now he has a girlfriend or even the ugly on youtube who went viral now has a cute wife.I don't feel sorry for them anymore. These guys are lazy for the most part, unambitious, not educated, live at their mama's basement yet think they are entitled to a "Sara Carpenter" lmfaooo. I remember seeing a popular blackpill channel who was 57 year old Indian guy living in his mom's basement can't make this up.

Nope 40% of men throughout history never got to pro-create. This is the easiest era ever to get laid, getting a girlfriend and wife is harder at the end of the day in anything in life as a man you gotta roll up your sleeve and grind. No one will give a shyt about but yourself!

What would you recommend a really inexperience 30 year old to do? Go on a trip to Vegas lol

 

[Solomon]

What would you recommend a really inexperience 30 year old to do? Go on a trip to Vegas lol

I came on this site at 24 but if I started at 30 right now I would do this knowing what I know now

1. Self-Introspection&Self-work-First you gotta be brutally honest with yourself. What are things that are holding you back? I don't wanna hear about feminism or what the **** happend to you in high school. If you 30 years old and out of shape work on it(fat lose weight, skinny but on some muscle_, If you make low wage or struggle to pay rent work on it(I had 2 jobs sometimes working 24 hours straight both jobs from 24-26), If you have no friends, ask yourself are you an introvert or extrovert? what type of people gravitate to you or vice versa, what are your hobbies? Start

2. Read The Book of Pook, The Book of Fingz, Jon23, and Snowplowman FIeld Reports (I did this, although I did have some experience at 24) Reading these will not just help you with what to say to women but more importantly the mindset that you need to become successful. There is to much negative self-talk, you have to become the best version of yourself not for women but for you. Once your mindset is such that you have cheer confidence that is unshakable that is when the real fun starts.

3. Learn To Approach and be out of your comfort zone-You should be doing 10 approaches on Friday and Saturday minimum day or night game doesn't matter. Embrace rejection. I remember when I first started being game aware I made it a point to get rejected 3 times a night or approach the hottest woman in the venue. Make it a game. It's supposed to be fun and not a chore. You will be surprised how fast you improve when you do approaches I literally went from doing 10 approaches a day to a couple times approaching a 100 women in a day (this was with a buddy of mine, I don't have the energy anymore as it's exhausting) Not saying approach a 100 women a day but I'm just telling you my work ethnic

4. Continue to work on Number 1 by putting in the work while you engage in the field

5. Be Formless like Water-I read the book the game by Neil Strauss the biggest takeaway I took was he didn't want to be associated with one train of PUA or regulated to one group. So he learned from all. Don't fall into the Redpill group think. Once you start to gain experince from approaching to dating women. You realize a lot of that stuff is just mental masturbation. A lot of stuff you think you need to know isn't even something that becomes an issue or is just a waste of time. You should be able to adapt to your situation. The reason why a lot of RP points are outdates is due to lack of adaptation in modern times things like i.e. texting a girl after a week,

6. Keep a journal keep track of what works for you and what doesn't-IMO this helped fastrack my improvement in the past I posted some FR's here but I kept a private FR's log during my first 1000 approaches (First year of gaming) it allows you to study things that work and don't. What helped me with the FR's was taken pictures since I mostly did nightgame this allowed me to remember the transactions a lot better. In 2025 I recommend keeping the journal private as if you make it public there have been weird situations where girls found some guys FR's by snooping on his computer or other weird ways.

7. Always put God first-Chasing women is fun don't get me wrong but once you master that it starts to feel empty. I remember when I had my first 3some with 2 cute chicks I thought I made it. Just to find out the girl I liked from it texted me saying she was getting back with her boyfriend. It's cold out there

There is a lot more to this and it works because I did the same thing at 24 I would recommend to a 30-year-old myself included if I started later. The game actually gets easier in a sense as you get older because you know what works and what doesn't guys who are 30+ and still struggle usually do because of one or more of the things I have mentioned.

Happy Hunting

 

[Manure Spherian]

Hence my warning in other threads: get this area of life squared away early, or you might face serious consequences.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

‘You know how humiliating it is to never have a girl approach you and say you're handsome,’

This only happens if one is very good looking. Most men are not very good looking. Hence. most men will not experience: ‘a girl approach you and say you're handsome,’.

My guess is he has a very good looking friend & he expects, since it’s happened to his friend, it will happen to him.

 

[Travel memoir21]

‘You know how humiliating it is to never have a girl approach you and say you're handsome,’

This only happens if one is very good looking. Most men are not very good looking. Hence. most men will not experience: ‘a girl approach you and say you're handsome,’.

My guess is he has a very good looking friend & he expects, since it’s happened to his friend, it will happen to him.

I had a group of girls approached me....while I was in the Military....I was at that mall hallways and I was thinking of something really funny in my head and I had a huge smile on my face....... and they all said....' Hey you must be one really happy dude...' haha.....

Could be your vibe also that attracts them...if you won a million bucks that day, a girl could spot that a mile away.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I’d feel strange being approached by women since I’m usually in attack mode in all areas of my life. It would feel odd to just sit back and relax.

I assume most men don’t want to be approached, but what they really desire is for the women they’re attracted to to reciprocate their advances.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I’d feel strange being approached by women since I’m usually in attack mode in all areas of my life. It would feel odd to just sit back and relax.

I assume most men don’t want to be approached, but what they really desire is for the women they’re attracted to to reciprocate their advances.

My experience has been that being approached has little to do with being passive or being relaxed (or being happy).
I like being approached. It’s a nice dopamine rush.

 

[BaronOfHair]

‘You know how humiliating it is to never have a girl approach you and say you're handsome,’

This only happens if one is very good looking. Most men are not very good looking. Hence. most men will not experience: ‘a girl approach you and say you're handsome,’

Frankly, women have to put in effort if they want men to find them desirable also. Case in point: Kathleen Turner. She started boozing, drugging, and living a generally unhealthy life right as her star was on the rise during The 80s. By '91, she was a punchline, and has remained so ever since

 

[Clockwerk50]

My experience has been that being approached has little to do with being passive or being relaxed (or being happy).
I like being approached. It’s a nice dopamine rush.

Do you continue to lead the relationship after the initial approach is made? Do interactions sometimes fizzle out?

From my understanding of the “like to be approached” perspective, it seems that these men want women to not only initiate the original interaction but also take charge of logistics, finances, and intimacy. They prefer being the hunted rather than the hunter. I could be mistaken, though.