Dating a woman who has had groupsex in the past?

CageFighter505

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That just means it should be easy to talk her into inviting two girlfriends over for more group sex. If she can do it with two guys, why not two girls? You're sitting on a gold mine and don't even realize it. Think of this from an Alpha perspective -- she's admitted to being sexually adventurous, and that's an asset because it means she'll probably be open to crossing off all the items on your fantasy list. Is she relationship material? That's another discussion. But you shouldn't stop hanging out with her just because of this, at least not until she hooks you up with a threesome :) That's just my two cents, play it how you want bro.
 

Colossus

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Just my opinion, it would put me off. I would probably end it.

On the flip side, any girl you date could have done this and you may never know. Sometimes ignorance is bliss...
 

Drum&Bass

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Is it fair to say that you guys who are turned off by a womans past sexual escapades are ADMITTING to being weak, insecure, immature, jealous and judge mental ?
 

Stagger Lee

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No, I think it's fair to say that it's only natural for those guys to not to want to hook their wagon to a hor.
 

Jitterbug

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Drum&Bass said:
Is it fair to say that you guys who are turned off by a womans past sexual escapades are ADMITTING to being weak, insecure, immature, jealous and judge mental ?
How feminist of you.

Sexually I'm not turned off by that - and I reckon most guys here aren't either - but LTR or marriage? No f'ing chance!
 

Bluntmaster

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It means she's a slut and if you marry her you are a fool.

It means that when she goes down on you she went down on 50 other guys and you aren't special.
 

Strelok

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Bluntmaster said:
It means she's a slut and if you marry her you are a fool.

It means that when she goes down on you she went down on 50 other guys and you aren't special.
And most of all those other 50 guys didn't risk to ruin their lifes with a marriage and a divorce,it's like paying a good 100 times more than the others.
 
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jophil28 said:
And that is exactly my observation too .

I have been dating women for many long years, and those women who admitted (eventually) to me to previous affairs, cheating or slvtting it up have turned out to be appallingly inept at maintaining LTR's, and they tended to continue with the same sexual behaviors even if they were later married or in an LTR.
They just become highly skilled at manipulating men through lies, deception and secrecy .
They live lives of shadowy cheap thrills covered over with well crafted explanations and credible alibi's should they be caught out.

IF you are in a relationship with one of these women you will never know that she is cheating -not unless she loses so much respect for you that she rubs it in your face for extra entertainment value.

Listen closely to her history - it is your future.
That last line is absolutely priceless.

CageFighter505 said:
That just means it should be easy to talk her into inviting two girlfriends over for more group sex. If she can do it with two guys, why not two girls? You're sitting on a gold mine and don't even realize it. Think of this from an Alpha perspective -- she's admitted to being sexually adventurous, and that's an asset because it means she'll probably be open to crossing off all the items on your fantasy list. Is she relationship material? That's another discussion. But you shouldn't stop hanging out with her just because of this, at least not until she hooks you up with a threesome :) That's just my two cents, play it how you want bro.
CageFighter nailed this one perfectly.

If you are not looking for a LTR than this woman is a gold mine. The icing on the cake is that she is massive social proof in that if *she* does the inviting with the other woman to join you two in a FFM threesome the odds shoot through the roof of success because a woman to woman proposal is more trusting than if a man did the inviting of the third party woman.

I have a friend who is currently in this situation. He LOVES it. Heck I would too but my GF is too conservative.
 

Drum&Bass

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How feminist of you.
feminist, NO, seeing everyone else as feminine, YES.

If a man is ok with his (assuming) future wife having ridden the c0ck carousel several times before settling with her man at the "just in time" age of 30+, then his actions say that he is ok with a woman having her cake and eating it too. I propose that no man of value will be ok with this.

A man of value will do what is in his best interest and to me that is finding a woman who's first interest is to find a good man and building a family with him.
Let them pay the consequences of their actions, because ultimately, they are counting on you to not judge their past and to accept the used up vag they have to offer.

The more that people are "ok" with this sort of action from women, the more it will happen. Have standards.
Let me guess...your standards are a 26 year old virgin who will be sugar, spice and everything nice. She will be a perfect angel that will do no wrong and give you the perfect life with the perfect family.

If a man is ok with his (assuming) future wife having ridden the c0ck carousel several times before settling with her man at the "just in time" age of 30+, then his actions say that he is ok with a woman having her cake and eating it too.
Dude if you really feel like this you can sit on a mountain side somewhere all alone playing with yourself because women are people and like MOST people women enjoy sex and they will have sex with as many men as they want whether you like it or not.

Just my opinion, it would put me off. I would probably end it.
Why would it put it you off ??

On the flip side, any girl you date could have done this and you may never know. Sometimes ignorance is bliss
Im sure most guys feel like this...which means, you are NOT STRONG enough to handle the truth = WEAK
it's fair to say that it's only natural for those guys to not to want to hook their wagon to a hor.
What does it matter if your enjoying your time with her NOW and she is YOUR HOR and no one elses ??

but LTR or marriage? No f'ing chance!
Why not ??

It means she's a slut and if you marry her you are a fool.
....but she isn't a slut, she is faithful to you and you are enjoying your time with her. She, like anyone else had the opportunity to enjoy a sexual experience in the past and did the human thing...she acted on it.

It means that when she goes down on you she went down on 50 other guys and you aren't special.
really ?!?!?! your concerned about a girl making you feel special ? I think your panties just cut off circulation to the 2 shriveled up raisins between your legs called BALLS. If you had the chance to hook up with 100 women in your past would you take it ??

And most of all those other 50 guys didn't risk to ruin their lifes with a marriage and a divorce
not sure what your trying to say, but I'll assume you mean the men of her past intentionally made the choice not to marry her because they knew of her past sexual life ?? if thats the case, maybe...just maybe...they were enjoying sex without the need to marry each other (NSA).

I am definitely judgemental. If I wasn't then I might just marry a wh0re. If you want to attach your wagon to a woman that a small army of men have enjoyed, that is your prerogative.

I raise your feminist shaming "weak and insecure" statement and raise you "I know I can do better, can you?".
...but she isn't a hor, she is faithful to you. What happens when you marry a woman thats only had sex with 2 guys in her life only to find out that you hate each other and divorce. She has no problem taking you to the cleaners (financially and emotionally) because she that is the kind of person she is. She meets another guy who think she is awesome because she NOW has had sex with 3 guys in her life but she has an agenda for this new man in her life to take his money.

A persons sexual history does not detract from their character, level of honesty or their ability to genuinely love and care about another human being

Everyone talks a big game about about judging women who enjoy sex...but no one knows anything about anyone for sure. The most sexually innocent of women can be the worst snake in hiding.
If you are not looking for a LTR than this woman is a gold mine.
I dont understand this logic...this leads me to believe that most of you men are boring, unable to hold the interest of women and insecure. Im starting to think that you guys are probably only good for a paycheck and some bad jokes. Its good to be cautious of women but NOT because of their sexual history. Be wary of inconsiderate women who will stab you in the back, destroy your dreams and hurt you emotionally. I dont see how her sexual history comes into play when it comes to the important things that matter.


@ Franky
Heck I would too but my GF is too conservative.
SOOOOO basically your in a LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP with a woman who you WISH had "SLUT" tendancies...yet at the beginning of your post you say
If you are not looking for a LTR than this woman is a gold mine.
weak sauce !!!

Keep living the delusional life style kids. Keep thinking that a girl who YOU THINK hasn't had a lot of sex in her past is some is some kind of good, pure, moral person who is worthy of marriage. (people are still getting married these days ???...dang you chumps are never gonna learn)

p.s. I just went back and read this whole thread and Im basically repeating what a few other guys have said. Some guys are FOOLS who think blindly following their principles is an ABSOLUTE way to ensure what is best for them and some of the smarter guys realize that there will be time you have to see things from a different perspective.

Human beings adapt to what best suits their lives. Having principles MAY sometimes work in your favor but there are other times that principles are useless and a bit of FREE THINKING is necessary to give you the best chances at happiness.

Same thing goes for business !! the company that can't adapt is the company that will FAIL !!
 
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Alle_Gory

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Drum&Bass said:
Is it fair to say that you guys who are turned off by a womans past sexual escapades are ADMITTING to being weak, insecure, immature, jealous and judge mental ?
I'm actually turned on by that, imagine what you can make that woman do? :D

But unfortunately, that doesn't make that type of woman relationship material. More of a casual thing.


Have you ever had a girlfriend who's been gangbanged by a bus? Why not?
 

guru1000

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AlmostThere said:
How would you guys handle finding out that your girlfriend has had sex with two or more guys at once in the past? Like a mmf or a mmmf?

What if she was a totally awesome person now with her life together, but had done these things years ago when she was younger?
This is why I state every man should have a code they unequivocally live by; and as you encounter new circumstances that cannot be interpreted within your code, let your internal compass guide you in the matter.

Your "concern" is the answer.

She is intelligent, beautiful, very down to earth and nice. Basically nothing like what you would expect a girl to look like that was railed by 3 dudes at the same time.
Justification just doesn't feel quite right, does it?
 

Bluntmaster

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Drum&Bass said:
feminist, NO, seeing everyone else as feminine, YES.



Let me guess...your standards are a 26 year old virgin who will be sugar, spice and everything nice. She will be a perfect angel that will do no wrong and give you the perfect life with the perfect family.

Dude if you really feel like this you can sit on a mountain side somewhere all alone playing with yourself because women are people and like MOST people women enjoy sex and they will have sex with as many men as they want whether you like it or not.

Why would it put it you off ??

Im sure most guys feel like this...which means, you are NOT STRONG enough to handle the truth = WEAK
What does it matter if your enjoying your time with her NOW and she is YOUR HOR and no one elses ??

Why not ??

....but she isn't a slut, she is faithful to you and you are enjoying your time with her. She, like anyone else had the opportunity to enjoy a sexual experience in the past and did the human thing...she acted on it.

really ?!?!?! your concerned about a girl making you feel special ? I think your panties just cut off circulation to the 2 shriveled up raisins between your legs called BALLS. If you had the chance to hook up with 100 women in your past would you take it ??

not sure what your trying to say, but I'll assume you mean the men of her past intentionally made the choice not to marry her because they knew of her past sexual life ?? if thats the case, maybe...just maybe...they were enjoying sex without the need to marry each other (NSA).

...but she isn't a hor, she is faithful to you. What happens when you marry a woman thats only had sex with 2 guys in her life only to find out that you hate each other and divorce. She has no problem taking you to the cleaners (financially and emotionally) because she that is the kind of person she is. She meets another guy who think she is awesome because she NOW has had sex with 3 guys in her life but she has an agenda for this new man in her life to take his money.

A persons sexual history does not detract from their character, level of honesty or their ability to genuinely love and care about another human being

Everyone talks a big game about about judging women who enjoy sex...but no one knows anything about anyone for sure. The most sexually innocent of women can be the worst snake in hiding.
I dont understand this logic...this leads me to believe that most of you men are boring, unable to hold the interest of women and insecure. Im starting to think that you guys are probably only good for a paycheck and some bad jokes. Its good to be cautious of women but NOT because of their sexual history. Be wary of inconsiderate women who will stab you in the back, destroy your dreams and hurt you emotionally. I dont see how her sexual history comes into play when it comes to the important things that matter.


@ Franky
SOOOOO basically your in a LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP with a woman who you WISH had "SLUT" tendancies...yet at the beginning of your post you say


weak sauce !!!

Keep living the delusional life style kids. Keep thinking that a girl who YOU THINK hasn't had a lot of sex in her past is some is some kind of good, pure, moral person who is worthy of marriage. (people are still getting married these days ???...dang you chumps are never gonna learn)

p.s. I just went back and read this whole thread and Im basically repeating what a few other guys have said. Some guys are FOOLS who think blindly following their principles is an ABSOLUTE way to ensure what is best for them and some of the smarter guys realize that there will be time you have to see things from a different perspective.

Human beings adapt to what best suits their lives. Having principles MAY sometimes work in your favor but there are other times that principles are useless and a bit of FREE THINKING is necessary to give you the best chances at happiness.

Same thing goes for business !! the company that can't adapt is the company that will FAIL !!

I bet your girlfriend is a slut, isn't she? That's why you are justifying this crap. I'd rather be lonely than marry a slut.

And it's not hard to find out if your girl did these things. If you listen, they always tell you everything you need to know. Especially after a few drinks.
 

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Bluntmaster said:
I bet your girlfriend is a slut, isn't she? That's why you are justifying this crap. I'd rather be lonely than marry a slut.
Then you will be lonely, because ALL women are sluts.

Women who are "quality LTR" material are women who either don't know, or just struggle hard not to admit it.

Seriously...I was better off not understanding women. I could've pretended that this whole "quality girl" myth held some water. A couple of Don Juan tips and tricks and a little fake-it-till-you-make-it self confidence and I could've been set for women.

But no...I had to dive deeper until I started to "understand" them. I wanted to get inside their heads and reach that elusive goal that most men wish they could figure out...how women work.

You guys are in a weird position right now...you're trying to decide between the blue-pill and the red-pill. Either one is a tragic mistake...take the blue-pill, and you can go on believing whatever you want to believe with women, and not knowing sh!t for truth, always feeling like you're missing something. Take the red-pill, and you will never be able to go back and believe all the crap that you thought was true about women.

I thought that the more I knew, the more I would be guided in feeling and action. But there are some things I just don't want to know any more...and the more I figure out, the more confused my sense of "reason" gets.

There are some things you just don't WANT to know.

So yeah, keep looking for that "quality woman", the one who isn't interested in sex until she finds Mr. Right and thinks the sun rises and sets in his pants.

And pray she never meets someone who knows better.

I keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel...but it just keeps getting darker and deeper.
 

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jophil28 said:
Let's suppose that you have been dating a hot woman for many months and you are thinking that she is serious LTR material. She wants to make it official and move in together.

One night you are having some drinks, and you and she play," Tell me your deepest secret ."
So she reveals that she was in business with her previous b/f straight out of college and she "borrowed" some money from their joint account - some serious money which she never paid back or told him about.

Now you are thinking - " IF I live with this woman ,we are going to share some of our resources. Am I comfortable with a joint account to pay expenses ? Do I offer her occasional use of my CC? Can I lend her money and be confident that she will repay? "

Gentlemen, what do you do?
She has assured you that her "borrowing "episode was several years ago when she was ," a young, silly party chick."

You don't move in with her and keep her at an arm's length, imo.

However, this really is not a fair analogy. Here, you have a victim (the guy who she stole the money from). In the OP situation, there most likely was no victim, providing she was single and not cheating on anyone. Is a gangbang a crime for women?

Nobody is perfect, we have all made choices in our past that were less than perfect. We learn from our mistakes, and grow from them. That's life. Young people do stupid things. It's part of the maturing process.

Maybe she was drunk at a party when this happened. Maybe she deeply regrets what she did at that time, and found strength to turn her life around.

Without more details, it's really hard to say. A lot of assumptions are being made in this thread.
 

Bluntmaster

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squirrels said:
Then you will be lonely, because ALL women are sluts.

Women who are "quality LTR" material are women who either don't know, or just struggle hard not to admit it.

Seriously...I was better off not understanding women. I could've pretended that this whole "quality girl" myth held some water. A couple of Don Juan tips and tricks and a little fake-it-till-you-make-it self confidence and I could've been set for women.

But no...I had to dive deeper until I started to "understand" them. I wanted to get inside their heads and reach that elusive goal that most men wish they could figure out...how women work.

You guys are in a weird position right now...you're trying to decide between the blue-pill and the red-pill. Either one is a tragic mistake...take the blue-pill, and you can go on believing whatever you want to believe with women, and not knowing sh!t for truth, always feeling like you're missing something. Take the red-pill, and you will never be able to go back and believe all the crap that you thought was true about women.

I thought that the more I knew, the more I would be guided in feeling and action. But there are some things I just don't want to know any more...and the more I figure out, the more confused my sense of "reason" gets.

There are some things you just don't WANT to know.

So yeah, keep looking for that "quality woman", the one who isn't interested in sex until she finds Mr. Right and thinks the sun rises and sets in his pants.

And pray she never meets someone who knows better.

I keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel...but it just keeps getting darker and deeper.

there are different degrees. One of the last girls I dated admitted she was involved in what this thread is about. I pretty much nexted her in my mind after this.
 

zekko

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You guys are in a weird position right now...you're trying to decide between the blue-pill and the red-pill. Either one is a tragic mistake...take the blue-pill, and you can go on believing whatever you want to believe with women, and not knowing sh!t for truth, always feeling like you're missing something. Take the red-pill, and you will never be able to go back and believe all the crap that you thought was true about women.
Isn't all this stuff about the blue pill and the red pill just a little over dramatic? I've always found the whole Matrix analogy as it applied to pickup a little silly.

I've read some great stuff on this forum that made me think "yes, yes, that makes sense". But nothing that really changed my opinion about women or rocked my perception of reality. Admittedly, this is probably partly because I'm older than most guys around here. Even if you don't take a "red pill", if you spend enough time around women you're going to eventually find out what they're really like anway.

I can't imagine guys with any fair amount of experience with women deluding themselves about them all the way to the grave, matrix or no matrix.
 

Drum&Bass

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Mr.Positive said:
Is a gangbang a crime for women?

Nobody is perfect, we have all made choices in our past that were less than perfect. We learn from our mistakes, and grow from them. That's life. Young people do stupid things. It's part of the maturing process.

Maybe she was drunk at a party when this happened. Maybe she deeply regrets what she did at that time, and found strength to turn her life around.

Without more details, it's really hard to say. A lot of assumptions are being made in this thread.
I knew it !!! I knew some chump would come on here and try to say this crap. WHY IS IT A MISTAKE ?!?!?!

What if she wanted to try a NEW sexual experience to see what it was like ??

It is not wrong to enjoy sex, it is not wrong to try different sexual things. Jeezus you guys must be mormons the way you judge people for enjoying a basic human need. You guys act like you can't relate to what its like to want great nasty sex.

Actually...maybe some of you guys can't relate. Maybe there were no women in your lives that found you appealing enough to let you live out your sexual fantasy's with them. This would make sense because the guys who have BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT realize, sexual acts don't DEFINE a person for who they are.

So the more you guys complain about women enjoying sex the more OBVIOUS it seems that you are an AFC that girls were NEVER attracted to. Your probably jealous when you find a great girl that actually likes YOU for YOU but has had more sexual fun in her life than you did...so you give her the title of hor..knowing dam well your probably just mad that no girl ever gave you the chance to have crazy sexual encounters.

Im sure all of you at one time or another wanted to bang every living chick in sight...Now here you all are on your high horse looking down on people for living a life that you wish you could have lived...

like I said...The more you guys post the more I realize YOUR PROBABLY WORTH A PAYCHECK and nothing more, which is why im not surprised these women do you guys dirty and then take your money and RUN.

also..

I know all of my eastern european girlfriends have had group sex in the past but my American girlfriends haven't at least thats what they say. We are all still very close with each other and we plan on going into business together very soon growing a small network. I enjoy their company, values and intellect and i can honestly say that I love them.

THEY MAKE ME HAPPY. which is the bottom line.

hope you guys are chasing happiness instead of chasing an illusion and thinking that you will be happy with your illusion.
 
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Mr.Positive

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Drum&Bass said:
THEY MAKE ME HAPPY. which is the bottom line..
What part of group sex with multiple GUYS makes you happy?

Sounds quite gay to me. Is the 'bottom line' you ending up on the bottom of the pile? :)

I'll admit I have a double standard in thinking groupsex with multiple women is hotter than hell. Hence her 'mistake' is my thought process, not hers. You are right though, maybe it wasn't a mistake to her...just another life experience.
 

zekko

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It is not wrong to enjoy sex, it is not wrong to try different sexual things. Jeezus you guys must be mormons the way you judge people for enjoying a basic human need. You guys act like you can't relate to whats it like to want great nasty sex and do things you've never tried before.
What you're missing is that it is a natural instinctive impulse to place higher value on women who are more selective and do not have as many sexual partners. This increases the odds of the survival of your seed. A woman can only get pregnant once every nine months. If you're trying to get in there and she has 20 other guys at the same time banging her, the odds of your sperm fertilizing her go down dramatically.

That's why men place more value on the more chaste woman. I'm not one to get hung up on a woman's sexual past. But if she's seen more c0cks than a porn star she is going to be considered low quality.
 

squirrels

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zekko said:
What you're missing is that it is a natural instinctive impulse to place higher value on women who are more selective and do not have as many sexual partners. This increases the odds of the survival of your seed. A woman can only get pregnant once every nine months. If you're trying to get in there and she has 20 other guys at the same time banging her, the odds of your sperm fertilizing her go down dramatically.

That's why men place more value on the more chaste woman. I'm not one to get hung up on a woman's sexual past. But if she's seen more c0cks than a porn star she is going to be considered low quality.
I believe the idea he's trying to get across is that she shouldn't HAVE to have a tendency toward chastity...if she does, she will be boring in bed anyway. The idea is that you should find a woman who doesn't naturally tend toward chastity, but is into you enough (and you into her) that your d!ck becomes the only one she needs to satisfy her.

In terms of classic expressions..."don't wish the game was easier, wish you were better".

D*cks and p*ssies come and go. That was never what "love" was about, anyway. To me, the real strong couple is the one that can go out to a swinger-party, screw around all night, and STILL wants to come home to each other at the end of the night.
 
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