Date with a lawyer tomorrow!!

[Tazman]

I'd be careful with the whole "try to impress her" thing, you don't need to give away all this info about yourself so soon. Unless someone asks me, I usually don't talk about skills or hobbies I have, and when I do talk about them I don't go into great detail, works for me.

If you're not careful you can quickly become the "lower hand" by consciously putting in too much effort to artificially raise interest. It will come off as trying too hard, which means you consider yourself to be of lower value and stand to "lose" something more valuable.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm curious about what'll happen on the next date.

 

[ketostix]

Good job, MNIN. I think some of your moves were a little AFC, but overall, you did good.

I honestly don't know about how you rejected her for sex, I hear some women take that very badly, but she is a lawyer, she does seem confident, and if she is anything like me, that would be a big turn on.

Unless she was just trying to use you for sex. In that case, it would just be really annoying.

I think the biggest wildcard here is going to be how she reacts to you not putting out.

Hahahaa, that sounds really funny even saying. So did this line of yours "does a dj bang on the first night?" Haha. See you are now seeing what it is like for women who are worried about their own self respect. It has nothing to do with a B-shield, or whatever you guys call it. Oh... an ASD.

I don't think you should have let her pay... but since you did, you really have to step it up now.

Make sure you have a plan, and show her something. For instance, take her out to dinner to some spot you love, give her suggestions on what to order (don't order for her! she may be uptight about that...). Then let her try your food when it comes. You know, SHOW HER something, put her on to something.

If you take her back to your place, make sure there is something there to impress her. For instance, if you are an artist, show her something you've done. I'm not saying cater to her, or put her on a pedestal, or treat her like some prize. I'm saying, seem like you have some interests! This is really where you get to flaunt yourself a little... make yourself the prize. Then when she is really into it, and feels like she is getting to see this side of you, get her a glass of wine or something, while she is looking at whatever it is you show her. Then move in for the kill.

Remember these words: Charm her and be hospitable!!!! there is no bigger turn on than being "taken care of" by a man in his lair.

That was straight out of the AFC handbook. I nominate this post for AFC post of the year award.


MNIN, not closing the deal on her when you had her was a risky move. It could pay off big dividens later or you might have lost the opportunity. It could go either way, but you sometimes have to take risk to get bigger gains.

 

[iqqi]

That was straight out of the AFC handbook. I nominate this post for AFC post of the year award.


MNIN, not closing the deal on her when you had her was a risky move. It could pay off big dividens later or you might have lost the opportunity. It could go either way, but you sometimes have to take risk to get bigger gains.

^^ you basically just repeated what I said.

And it is not AFC to be nice to your date, to try and impress her a little, and to reciprocate, seeing as she already bought him dinner and tried to do him.

I don't get how you think any of that is AFC, and wonder what your game plan would be.

MNIN knows whats up.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I don't know for SURE if I could have banged her I didn't try to take her clothes off. Call me AFC all you want. When I bang a woman on the first date, I lose interest in her.

We made verbal plans for Sunday night.. We also talked about getting together tonight and I told her to call me.. she told me to call her... but I don't want to call the day after the first date.

I'm to the point I don't care anymore. If I see her again, great, if not, I'll move on.

 

[cordoncordon]

I don't know for SURE if I could have banged her I didn't try to take her clothes off. Call me AFC all you want. When I bang a woman on the first date, I lose interest in her.

We made verbal plans for Sunday night.. We also talked about getting together tonight and I told her to call me.. she told me to call her... but I don't want to call the day after the first date.

I'm to the point I don't care anymore. If I see her again, great, if not, I'll move on.

How about posting a pic from her dating website? Would be interested in seeing a face to this story.

 

[ketostix]

^^ you basically just repeated what I said.

And it is not AFC to be nice to your date, to try and impress her a little, and to reciprocate, seeing as she already bought him dinner and tried to do him.

I don't get how you think any of that is AFC, and wonder what your game plan would be.

MNIN knows whats up.

No my reasoning is different from yours. MNIN already said she's been eating up the C+F and now you're telling him to take her on a romatic date and use an AFC game plan. Your plan is too scripted for the real world. IF she's up for getting together again, why not just go to her place, have a few drinks and watch movies, then seal the deal?

 

[ketostix]

I don't know for SURE if I could have banged her I didn't try to take her clothes off. Call me AFC all you want. When I bang a woman on the first date, I lose interest in her.

We made verbal plans for Sunday night.. We also talked about getting together tonight and I told her to call me.. she told me to call her... but I don't want to call the day after the first date.

I'm to the point I don't care anymore. If I see her again, great, if not, I'll move on.

I'm the same way. I lose interest in a girl after I go all the way with her unless she has an amazing body or something but even still. It's a good thing in a way. I never get oneitis for a girl after I gotten with her, so I don't even need to spin plates. I never could really understand a guy having oneitis for a a girl they fvcked. To me oneitis is chasing a girl continuously who doesn't want to hook up. That can do a lot of things with your head.

 

[joekerr31]

being a lawyer is a sh*tty job. its all about details and its generally combative / aggressive - i mean, people hire lawyers to DEFEND them from other lawyers.

anyway, as such female lawyers tend to be much more male-like, because in their job there is zero room for emotion (the law doesn't care about emotion, its all about the details / precidence. get the details wrong, you lose).

i've dated a female lawyer before. and ironically, just like this poster, she wanted to jump into the sac immediately.

i think its because lawyers generally look for the shortest distance between two points (ie. a straight line). thats what they do in their job, weigh the facts, look for their defense, execute. so they do the same thing with men, weigh his qualifications (looks, personality, etc.), make a judgement, execute.

women lawyers, despite the fact that many would think they would be the opposite, actually don't play 'games' as much as typical women do. they are much more straight forward.

now here is the irony though. despite the fact that they behave different than other women, deep down they are the same. all the DJ basics still apply.

if she wanted someone like her she'd be dating another male lawyer. what she's looking for - which is what all women are looking for - is a good time. someone that makes them FEEL good.

so just keep having fun and everything will work out as best as it can.

 

[joekerr31]

I'm the same way. I lose interest in a girl after I go all the way with her unless she has an amazing body or something but even still. It's a good thing in a way. I never get oneitis for a girl after I gotten with her, so I don't even need to spin plates. I never could really understand a guy having oneitis for a a girl they fvcked. To me oneitis is chasing a girl continuously who doesn't want to hook up. That can do a lot of things with your head.

you know what is funny. why is it that women are often hotter dressed than undressed?

like, i can see a woman all dressed up and be like 'DAMN! man i want to tap that!' and when she is undressed she's still hot, but not as hot.

i guess its like christmas as a kid. the presents under the tree were a lot more exciting when they were all wrapped up and you didn't know what they were. once you opened the presents, sure you liked what was inside, but somehow knowing is less exciting than not knowing.

 

[Mr.Positive]

being a lawyer is a sh*tty job. its all about details and its generally combative / aggressive - i mean, people hire lawyers to DEFEND them from other lawyers.

anyway, as such female lawyers tend to be much more male-like, because in their job there is zero room for emotion (the law doesn't care about emotion, its all about the details / precidence. get the details wrong, you lose).

i've dated a female lawyer before. and ironically, just like this poster, she wanted to jump into the sac immediately.

i think its because lawyers generally look for the shortest distance between two points (ie. a straight line). thats what they do in their job, weigh the facts, look for their defense, execute. so they do the same thing with men, weigh his qualifications (looks, personality, etc.), make a judgement, execute.

women lawyers, despite the fact that many would think they would be the opposite, actually don't play 'games' as much as typical women do. they are much more straight forward.

now here is the irony though. despite the fact that they behave different than other women, deep down they are the same. all the DJ basics still apply.

if she wanted someone like her she'd be dating another male lawyer. what she's looking for - which is what all women are looking for - is a good time. someone that makes them FEEL good.

so just keep having fun and everything will work out as best as it can.

Good insight Joekerr...makes me want to out and meet a HB lawyer too!

MNIN, good report. I think you played this right actually. There's nothing wrong with not having sex, just because it's thrown at you. It makes you stand out more, because probably 90% of guys out there would have jumped and hit it.

I bet you raised her IL even more.

Next time you see her though, if you do get her worked up, remember to follow through and escalate. Nobody likes a tease, especially HB's that have options.

If you leave her worked up a second time....her IL will probably crash faster than the stock market in 1929.

 

[Mr. Me]

She is a HOT lawyer... Imagine the DA's on Law and Order.. yeah, she is one of those.

Wow! You mean she looked like Jack McCoy??????? Great hair!

Just kidding. Hey I think you did half of everything pretty right and the other half you didn't, but it's a nice improvement from the last go round!

My two cents on the whole Regular Joe dates Highly Compensated Power Woman deal is that the woman isn't looking for a merger of the business kind, if ya know what I mean. She wants a guy that makes her feel like a woman, and you don't have to earn 200 K or drive a Jag to do that.

I know you just love my commentary, MNIN, so here goes...

We asked each other what we are doing tomorrow I told her to call me. She then told me to call her. I told her I want to show her my place.

You're making yourself too available, too soon.

I got asked the same question last night: "What are you doing tomorrow?" she asked me right before I dropped her off, and all I said was, "Stuff." And this woman is a raven haired, blue eyed, tall, hot, leggy, former model 16 years younger than me. Looked kind of like a young Karen Allen type from the Raiders of the Lost Ark. So, I know... inside, you want to say, "Nothing. Just was going to have dinner with a friend, but screw that, I'd rather be sucking on your gorgeous lips!" But I find it's really not difficult to remain true to myself and pace things, rather than hand myself over to her on a platter, and thus, look to build up her respect for me.

*Edited in: "I told her to call me". MNIN, that's handing the control over to her, in that you want to be the one who makes the calls and get the dates. Otherwise, if you wait for her to contact you, you'll be at her beck and call.*

He came with the bill and she paid! She told me to get it next time.

This I find interesting. Typically, when the woman pays it all, especially the first date, it tends to signify that she doesn't want to feel obligated, which in turn means she's not that interested, though even with low interest, some will still kiss you if they think you're gorgeous.

But she also mentioned "The Future" in that she spoke about you taking care of the bill next time around, which may indicate that she is thinking to see you again. At least at that moment in time she was. That could still mean that she's on the fence, though.

She started getting friendly with the server like it was some sh!t test

I'd file that under "possible flag" for the time being. Seems to go with her medium interest level.

I'm not saying there isn't any future here, I'm saying that I think she needs some working on. So I think when you insisted on leaving and not doing the deed, this works more in your favor. Again, to be a challenge is the key here.

We talked about getting together again this weekend, and pretty much made verbal plans for Sunday night...

But that works against challenge.

what's my next move? Call her or what?

Well, if this is any answer to you, I'm going to call Ms. Model sometime the middle of next week. That's the game by design rather than by default. I'd rather she has a a bit of time to wonder when I'm going to call and why I haven't called and reflect on her mind a bit as she thinks about what a nice time she had with me last night and anticipates another.

Moreover, if one such chick is great to have, then two or three more would be even better, so let's not put all our thoughts and attention on her and diversify a bit.

 

[Phyzzle]

You're making yourself too available, too soon.

Yes. Be more careful!

 

[iqqi]

No my reasoning is different from yours. MNIN already said she's been eating up the C+F and now you're telling him to take her on a romatic date and use an AFC game plan. Your plan is too scripted for the real world. IF she's up for getting together again, why not just go to her place, have a few drinks and watch movies, then seal the deal?

None of what I suggested is AFC. Any real DJ knows that a woman wants to be brought into YOUR world. An exciting, new experience, with an exciting new guy, who is different from all the other man-children who think a house-date is the way to go.

When a guy I just met invites me over to his place for drinks and a movie or tries to invite himself over to my place, and we haven't even went out yet (or only once)... I don't even call him back. Because that says a lot. I am all for inviting someone to your place to cap off a good date! But show some kind of effort, geez. SHE did last time. Now MNIN should step his game up.

She isn't some high school bimbo. She is successful, intelligent, and driven, and I am sure she wants stimulation out of a man. If she just wants sex, then by all means invite her over to your place with your not so subtle invitation for "movies" lol. She won't be interested in you after long. You will be that booty call then you won't get called at all. If that is what you want, do it!

But me thinks MNIN wants a little more than to be her human dildo for a few weeks. So be creative, be stimulating, and for petes sake, don't let her do all the work! Because maybe she will, since she has that take control personality, but that will get old quick. And her IL will DROP all at once.

Also - I also don't think it is AFC for a man to decline sex on a first date. It is sexy. It could mean that he values his body more than the average joe. And that is rare. Rare = intriguing.

 

[iqqi]

Also, her getting friendly with the server... to me that is nothing. She was being charming and nice to the server, which is a good thing, really. Didn't your momma ever tell you to pay attention to the way a person treats servers? I bet her "friendliness" was nothing more than playful flirting, and noone took it seriously at all.

A sign of a confident, fun, and empathetic woman. A plus! A green flag!

 

[jophil28]

When a guy I just met invites me over to his place for drinks and a movie or tries to invite himself over to my place, and we haven't even WENT out yet(or only once)... I don't even call him back. Because that says a lot. I am all for inviting someone to your place to cap off a good date! But show some kind of effort, geez. SHE did last time. Now MNIN should step his game up.

Perhaps you meant, "we haven't even GONE out yet."

Ooops ! I just gave myself away - I HAVE been reading ICKY's replies.

 

[jophil28]

Also - I also don't think it is AFC for a man to decline sex on a first date.

Tell me ICKY, do you get a lot of this behavior from men on YOUR first dates ?

 

[Last Man Standing]

I'm still baffled by the "I won't see a woman again if we have sex on the first date" proclamation?

 

[Mr. Me]

Didn't your momma ever tell you to pay attention to the way a person treats servers? I bet her "friendliness" was nothing more than playful flirting, and noone took it seriously at all.

What my esteemed colleague from across the aisle overlooks is that what Momma actually done told me was "watch how your dates treat the hired hands" in terms of being respectful, courteous and treating them with dignity. But Momma didn't mean it's okay if your date flirts with the cute waiter.

Momma also done told me to watch how your date treats you! So if your date done flirt with the waiter, that means she's being real disrespectful to you. And a shrink done told me that, hey, maybe she's flirting with the waiter because she likes getting the attention, so if you wanna keep on dating this broad, expect that she's done gonna flirt with every guy she done sees, in front of you, as long as she's alive.

"My Momma done tol' me, 'Son, a woman'll sweet talk
And give ya the big eye,
but when the sweet talkin's done
A woman's a two-face,
A worrisome thing who'll
Leave ya to sing
the blues in the night'"

 

[ketostix]

What my esteemed colleague from across the aisle overlooks is that what Momma actually done told me was "watch how your dates treat the hired hands" in terms of being respectful, courteous and treating them with dignity. But Momma didn't mean it's okay if your date flirts with the cute waiter.

Momma also done told me to watch how your date treats you! So if your date done flirt with the waiter, that means she's being real disrespectful to you. And a shrink done told me that, hey, maybe she's flirting with the waiter because she likes getting the attention, so if you wanna keep on dating this broad, expect that she's done gonna flirt with every guy she done sees, in front of you, as long as she's alive.

"My Momma done tol' me, 'Son, a woman'll sweet talk
And give ya the big eye,
but when the sweet talkin's done
A woman's a two-face,
A worrisome thing who'll
Leave ya to sing
the blues in the night'"

LOL. That's the problem with iqqi, her advice is so pro-female it's ridiculous. She always gives the benefit of doubt to her fellow sisters.