Brak86's Journal

Zero Hero

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Hey, I think you need to just go for the #. I read most of your approaches and I don't think you even went for a # most of the time. Even if the convo isn't going great, just take a shot at it.
 

Brak86

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Zero Hero said:
Hey, I think you need to just go for the #. I read most of your approaches and I don't think you even went for a # most of the time. Even if the convo isn't going great, just take a shot at it.
I agree, man. I guess i'm just a little apprehensive. It's not natural for me so I have to force myself to do it. PUA is about repition and making natural what is not normally natural to you.
 

WestCoast1492

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Good stuff dude. You remind me a lot of myself, except you have the balls for direct and i don't right now.

I do find day game harder to use routines, use kino, be as ****y.

It's nice that you sarge with friends, i do find that so much more helpful.

By the way, BC sucks!!! (your sports teams, not the school).
 

Brak86

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WestCoast1492 said:
Good stuff dude. You remind me a lot of myself, except you have the balls for direct and i don't right now.

I do find day game harder to use routines, use kino, be as ****y.

It's nice that you sarge with friends, i do find that so much more helpful.

By the way, BC sucks!!! (your sports teams, not the school).

ahhahah where do you go?

And I really appreciate the compliments
 

MIKE.T

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Thanks for keeping your journal, bro. It's interesting reading and inspires me to get off my lazy (read: scared) butt and do something. Just reading through those convos, I noticed quite a few opportunities to do some sarcastic busting on the girl. I'm a naturally sarcastic bastard, so these thoughts entered my head as soon as I read the sentence. You don't like coulda, woulda stuff, so I won't bother you with shoulda said this/that. But you might consider injecting just a little bit of it in because I really think it would help liven the convos up and avoid them terminating prematurely the way some of them seem to. (I mean, it takes a real dead fish not to react to a bit of well-placed sarcasm, in which case you're better off without her anyway - unless she is really hot, in which case mala suerte.) Good work and keep it up.
 

MAVER1CK

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Great work bro! keep this up and you will get laid.

Very awesome progress.
 

JKZaba

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Hey man, this thread is great. I'm in a bad spot and I'm going to try some stuff this week from reading on here.

Did you have problems with how you sounded at first? I'm reading a lot on here and I can't see myself saying it. I read it and it seems ****ing money, but when I say it, I think I sound lame.

Let me know and keep at it.
 

Brak86

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Tueday November 14

Wow! What a coincedence! Or is it? I came on here a few days ago and announce that my big sticking point now is asking for numbers. And today, totally unexpected, I got the opportunity and got one! Actually, I overcame ANOTHER sticking point too, but more on that later....

I did not go out today to sarge, because Tuesdays I'm busy with class and I have work to do. But I went into my dorm study lounge (which pretty full) and I sit down at a table where there are books and papers, but the person isn't there. I that the books and papers are for a spanish class, so I wait and see who comes and sits down next to me.

Lo and behold, it is a girl :cheer: . Well, the girl isn't that hot (HB 6.5) but its ok. I just want to practice conversing with ANYONE any chance I get. I open her:

Me: Are you in advance spanish? (this is all it takes, guys)
Her: Yeah, are you?!
Me: Noo, I placed into it but I decided to go the easy route freshman year and take intermediate. How is it?

I wont post our whole conversation because, frankly, I don't remember much of what we said. We talked for about 45 minutes on and off in between studying. I can tell you that we talked about europe, travelling, spanish, our families, her major, her upcoming test, etc.

Here's a snippet of our convo about Europe:

Me: yeah I went to France this past summer
Her: really? So did I! Where'd you go?
Me: San Trope
Her: ohhh i bet that was awesome.
Me: I tell you, that place is utterly ridiculous. But where did you go?
Her: I went to Paris, it was the first time ive been on a plane. (Here is a place where CONVERSATIONAL NOUNING would be very handy. I could steer the topic either to Paris, her first time on a plane, what was it like travelling for the first time, etc. Instead, I asked this):

Me: Wow, did you go with a friend, your family?
Her: I actually went with my boyfriend

In my mind i was taken surprised a bit (i dont know why, its not that uncommon haha). But I played it off real well. I did not want to hook up with her in the first place, but this only made me not want to hook up with her more. Nevertheless, I still wanted to truy to get her number because a)I am not against having good female friends and b)I need to get over my sticking point

Even though I knew that I only wanted a Platonic relationship with her, and the fact that I now knew that she had a serious boyfriend (theyve been going out for 3 years) , I was still nervous asking for her number. But i asked her for it. I think i closed with this:

Me: Well, I've finished my work, but we should hangout sometime
Her: Yeah, we should. What's your room number?
Me: ahah you'll forget that, just give me your phone number.
Her: Alright! (writes down her first and last name) and heres my full name in case you want to facebook me.

Let me also add that during the conversation, I told her that I wat to learn at least 4 languages. She said that she also loved langauges and she wanted to learn a few. So I delivered a STATEMENT OF INTENT saying, "that's really cool that you like learning languages, I like that alot." Ok, ok, it was a wimpy SOI, but an SOI nonetheless. I just jammed two sticking points in the *** in one night! I should be more proud of myself than I actually am, but I am pretty damn hard on myself and I dont really stay content with a fleeting accomplishment because I am a perfectionist. I should be more hapy with myself, but i guess that is a sticking point, too. :woo: .

I want to add something really weird/really really cool that has happened to me. After I read Cleric's post "Watch this! It will change your world" thread, I watched the documentary "The secret" on saturday. Although I have a hard time believing in non-proven, unexplainable phenomena, I am almost positive that I really believe in The Law of Attraction. (I know "almost positive that I really believe" is contradictory statement, but that's the only way that I can describe my feelings towards this.

I began to implement this way of thinking right after I watched the movie. I was serious about it and so far I have been very content, because I think that I truly believe that my thoughts partially shape the universe.

Now here is where it gets weird. Today, i was in my college bookstore (other than textbooks, the store sells like only 10 other "real" books) and i was looking for a textbook for my philosophy/theology class. I get it from a shelf, I turn around, and, right before my eyes, in the center of the bookstore is a book simply called "The Law of Attraction." I had to buy it. Call it a coincedence, call it fate, call it a result from my mind, but I found that pretty damn weird. Furthermore, since saturday, I truly knew and believed that I would, amongst other things, overcome my sticking points. And the opportunity presented itself today, the same day I bought the book, on a day where I did not intend to go out and get phone numbers.
 

Brak86

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JKZaba said:
Hey man, this thread is great. I'm in a bad spot and I'm going to try some stuff this week from reading on here.

Did you have problems with how you sounded at first? I'm reading a lot on here and I can't see myself saying it. I read it and it seems ****ing money, but when I say it, I think I sound lame.

Let me know and keep at it.

What I say sounds ****ing money?!? Thanks a lot! I sincerely appreciate the compliment. I like you already ;) .

It's only natural that you feel that you sound lame at first. And, to be honest with you, you probably will. You have to make natural to you what is not natural to you now. You have to make what you say congruent to your bodylanguage/tone etc. In essence, sarging is all about repetition. When I encounter sticking points, I feel lame when I first try and overcome them. But as you repeat the process, it will become more and more natural to you.

Believe me, I'm not a big fan of canned stuff, either. But I am not against it at all. Especially if you are just starting out. What you could also do is come up with opinion openers that you ACTUALLY care about. You could ask a girl what you should buy for your cousins birthday if her birthday is actually coming up. Hope that helps.
 

Brak86

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MIKE.T said:
Thanks for keeping your journal, bro. It's interesting reading and inspires me to get off my lazy (read: scared) butt and do something. Just reading through those convos, I noticed quite a few opportunities to do some sarcastic busting on the girl. I'm a naturally sarcastic bastard, so these thoughts entered my head as soon as I read the sentence. You don't like coulda, woulda stuff, so I won't bother you with shoulda said this/that. But you might consider injecting just a little bit of it in because I really think it would help liven the convos up and avoid them terminating prematurely the way some of them seem to. (I mean, it takes a real dead fish not to react to a bit of well-placed sarcasm, in which case you're better off without her anyway - unless she is really hot, in which case mala suerte.) Good work and keep it up.
Dude, I appreciate the comments. Part of the reason why I keep this journal is to inspire other guys. I was posting on here for about 1.5-2 years before I got off my ass. Unlike other guys, however, Ever since I first found this site, I KNEW in my heart that I was going to start approaching. I myself cannot live with a passion/hobby/dream not accomplished. I'm scared writing that down now since i have no excuse now ahahah.

I should inject more sarcasm/humor into my conversations. Right now, when i talk to a girl i try to act all cool and disinterested by having a slow, low energy tone. This isnt good. I'm trying to become more energetic/fun but its not natural for me. It'll take some time, as does everything that is really worrth something.

Anyways, I always appreciate criticisms/comments/complements.
 

Heyjose25points

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I should inject more sarcasm/humor into my conversations.
Its true...Sarcasm and humor are good in conversations, but just having a conversation with them is a good start for us. Its a blessing that we're getting much better at this stage talking to people(especially listening).

I myself cannot live with a passion/hobby/dream not accomplished. I'm scared writing that down now since i have no excuse now ahahah.
Awesome that u try to achieve ur goals to the end, even if u don't get 100%. I need to work on this myself.

Right now, when i talk to a girl i try to act all cool and disinterested by having a slow, low energy tone. This isnt good. I'm trying to become more energetic/fun but its not natural for me. It'll take some time, as does everything that is really worrth something.
A middle ground is what we want, might be a while, but it will be worth it. Having a low energy tone can be good sometimes, as it shows u are relaxed..but i see what u mean that it may appear to be boring. But i tend to do it sometimes too.

Hope to hear more of ur progress bro! Also, can't wait to sarge with u bud.
 

Heyjose25points

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Me: Well, I've finished my work, but we should hangout sometime
Her: Yeah, we should. What's your room number?
Me: ahah you'll forget that, just give me your phone number.
Her: Alright! (writes down her first and last name) and heres my full name in case you want to facebook me.
Cool your asking numbers! I haven't asked numbers yet, only AIM or facebook. I'm borrowing the "Hanging out sometime" line, as I just tend to ask, "U got aim?" :-D.

Learning something new everyday!
 

green69

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Damn...I've been reading this damn thing for the last hour - I'm losing sleep over this :crackup:

Really motivating journal. What's nice about it is you don't seem like a playa, or a guy trying to be cool. You seem like a regular guy - and I mean that in the nicest way possible haha.

Are you getting lots of numbers and 'closes'? No, but that's not what's important IMO. You're out there talking to strangers, having conversations and getting urself out there. Along the way, your social skills improve, you're making contacts - and occasionally you strike a good situation and you get a potential date out of it.

That's what I need to start doing. Just talking to girls in public situations. Not necessarily pickups...just commenting about something to get a convo going and who knows what can happen?
 

Brak86

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Thursday November 16

oh my god...DAMNIT ARGHHH ****...I am so so so SO upset right now! The funny part is, I had my best cold approach ever today and got the number close. But, ironically, as you'll soon see, this is what eventually made my night SO disappointing, despite the fact that I had my best approach ever so far. My emotions have temporarily clouded my reasoning, so please understand any venting that I do. I just have to get this off of my chest. This approach was the last one I did today, so just be patient.


I went out with some guys (matt, dan, alex) to sarge. I went into a necklace/earring store. I see a two-set and I open them:

Me: Excuse me girls (i touched one of the girls on the arm and she jumped a little. Odd, because I approached her from the side. I knew she could see me). Can I get a female opinion on something.
HB#1: Whats that?
Me: My cousin's bday is coming up and I wanted to get her a necklace, I wanted to know if you could help me pick something out.
HB#1: Well what does she look like?
Me: Well, she has blue eyes so I was thinking about a blue necklace (as I continue describing my "cousin," HB#1 walks away and I'm just talking to HB#2 now. Maybe HB#1 has a boyfriend and she wants me to talk to HB#2. I finish describing my cousin).
HB#2: If she has blue eyes, I would get her a silver necklace.
Me: Hmmm...like this one? (pointing to an obviously tacky necklace)
HB#2: nooo way
Me: ahahah yea i know, thats tacky
HB#2: You can get her some pearls
Me: Nah, those are too bland
HB#2: hhaah thats actually what I would buy, but I'm boring, so...
Me: awww come on...any other recommendations?
HB#2: Not really haahah
Me:Alright, well thanks a lot.

When it's really humid outside, I start sweating from my forehead and I get really self-conscious about it. I wanted to continue the conversation and I could have, but I wanted to get out of the set as fast as possible cause I felt the sweat and I was getting self conscious. This happened 2 other times to me today and its frustrating.

I walk into H&M clothes store in Downtown crossing. I spot a hot blonde chick, who is probably 25-26 years old (HB 7.6). I get a bit intimidated flirting with chicks 6-7 years older than me. Anyways, my wing dan gave me an awesome opener tailor-made for me since I'm from Texas. So i used his opener:

Me: Excuse me (touching girl on the elbow/arm) but i just moved here and I wanted to know if there was any place that I could buy cowboy boots.
Her: ummm so not just normal boots?
Me:ahaha no, i mean legit cowboy boots.
Her: Hmmm you might want to try _____ store. They sell a LOT of shoes there. I'm not sure if they sell boots, though.
Me: hahha i hope they do, I don;t really see many guys wearing cowboy boots in boston, though.
Her: ahaha nope, not many guys wear those around here. (at this point she starts moving away from me)
Me: Alright, thanks for the help.
Her: no problem

I walk into borders in downtown boston and spot a chick sitting on the floor reading a book.

Me: Excuse me, I need a female opinion on something (I dont know if you noticed this. But with the first set I opened asking if i could get an opinion. Matt advised me not to supplicate and ask if i could get an opinion. Instead, say that you NEED an opinion).
Her: Yeah?
Me: If you were my cousin who likes to read a lot, what would you want me to buy for you for your birthday?
Her: hmmm, well what does she like to read, fiction or non-fiction?
Me:Non-fiction, I think
Her: hmmm, I like this guy named David Sedaris.
Me: Wow, thats weird. I met someone a few days ago who liked David Sedaris, too. (i cold approached a different girl a few days ago and she recommended Sedaris. I should check him out).
Her: Yeah well he's really good, I like laugh out loud when i read him.
Me: Aww cool, so its actually a funny book?
Her: Yeah, its really funny
Me: is it raunchy humor?
Her: Yeah
Me: hahaah cool, do you recommend anything else?
Her: I'd check the front of the store, they usually have popular books there.
Me: alright, cool. Thanks for the help.
Her: No problem.
Me: So can I get your number? (I know, NOT SMOOTH ahaha)
Her: hmm nope
Me: ahah alrioght. See ya

I did a few things wrong here. I was standing the whole time I was talking to her, so I was looking down at her. I should have sat down next to her and continued talking. I also didn't talk about her enough. Also, my number-close was not smooth. But I was sweating again and I felt uncomfortable. The good thing is, I fixed these problems for the next set.

Alright, here is my best approach. Sorry to disappoint you, but it lasted about 15 minutes and it was kind of a blur so i dont remember really what happened and in what order it happened in. She was sitting down just like the previous girl I opened. I found her very attractive (you can tell when some girls are genuine girls who are LTR type material. This girl was one of them. I don't want to fall in the one-i-tis trap, but I could tell bythis girls mannerisms and her smile that she wasnt like many other flaky, immature college girls. I opened with:

Me: Excuse me, I need a female opinion on something.
Her: Yeah, sure
Me: My cousin's bday is coming up and she loves reading so i want to get her a good book. Do you have any recommendations?
Her: Yeah, definately does she like fiction or non-fiction? (same qiuestion, weird)
Me: Non-fiction
Her: hmm let me think a bit.
Me: (I noticed she had a book in her hands): Well, what are you reading. (At this point, I sat down next to her with my shoulder touching hers). Do you mind if i look at this?
Her: No, go ahead. (it was a book by ernest hemingway. I started reading the back when she suddenly said something)
Her: Oh yeah, i know a good book. It's the best book in the world!
Me: really? The best book in the world?! It must be pretty damngood.
Her: Yeah, its by marilynne robinson. Let me try to find it.
Me: Alright awesome. By the way, i really appreciate you helping me out
Her: yeah, no problem! Myname is _____ by the way.
Me: My name is brak86. Nice to meet you _____. (We went to some book shelves and finally found the book, called Housekeeping).
Her: This book is definately thje best book in the world
Me: ahaha alright, but if my cousin doesn't says its bad I;m never talking to you again :)
Her: ahahah ok.Let me read you a passage from the book.
Me: OK
Her: (reads a passage)
Me: wow, i could never do that
Her: ahaha me neither. So do you go to school around here?
Me: Yeah, I go to BC. And you?
Her: I go to berklee music school
Me: ohh cool. I know a guy that plays guitar there.
Her: ahaha well a lot of guys play guitar there
Me: So what instrument do youplay?
Her: I'm actually a songwriter
Me: Ohh wow, thats awesome. So maybe you'll write for britney spears or christina aguilera one day.
Her: ahahah I'd rather not. They say you only need a 5th grader's education to write that stuff. I mean I wouldnt reject doing something like that, though.
Me: Yeah, i understand. So when you listen to a song, do you listen mostly to the beat or to the lyrics?
Her: Probably the lyrics cause the beat is changeable, but the lyrics aren't really. I mean no one really changes the lyrics to an original song except for Weird Al Yankovich.
Me: ahahah oh no, dont talk about weird al
Her: ahahah alright.
Me: by the way, I think that you're really cool, could i get your number?
Her: Yeah, sure. Its ______.
Me: Alright, and this is how you spell your name? (i showed her what I typed).
Her: Close, let me type it. How do you delete a letter?
Me: ahahah here....Can you even use a phone?
her: ahaha no I'm bad with computers adn that stuff. Alrght, here it is.
(She did not store thenumber in the phone, but I guess I assumed she did. So Instead of checking, I pressed the end-call button which erases the number. I did not know what I just did, so i just put my phone back into my pocket. NOOOOOOOOOOooooooo....).

She kpt the conversation going for a while after that. Wow. This girl was really cool. Plus, she's totally into me. Finally! (Youhave to remember, I was then oblivious to the fact that I accidently did not store her number. I was happy as can be). After a bit, Matt comes up and tells me that he has to go soon. (Social proofing me). He meets the girl that I just #closed.

Fast forward. As I;m onmy way back to BC, I was thinking about the approach. i was so happy. I decided that I would text her in a bit to remind her of me and to thank her of the book suggestion. I look into my phone and BAM! The number is not there. My bliss rotted into utter anger and disappointment in myself. I wanted to hit myself I was so stupid! I said obscenities out loud. I get to my room and check facebook but she's not on it. I remember her saying that she's terrible at computers....why!? o why!? :down: :cuss: :cuss:

I'm not having one-i-tis. I just met her. But you don't meet that many, cool and hot girls who are that open when you do cold approaches.Plus I want to get to the next stages of my game. I want to go out on dates now. The only positive is that my wing Matt goes to berklee as well and it is a small school. He said if he sees her he will tell her, and he will ask around.

Nevertheless, all the work that I did tonight seemed to go down the toilet. I'm riddled with disappointment and regret. I havent been unhappy since sunday when I decided to start applying "THe Law of Attraction." But this has, at least temporarily, overrun my tranquility. It's just so frustrating because it was a stupid mistake. Oh, well, hopefully Matt will be able to help me out.
 

kidkoala

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Seems like a quality mistake Brak not like being a lameO or anything. YOu know you could just ask her for a book recommendation just for yourself...just a thought. Anyways sarging will ensue this weekend. I've been mad frustrated myself. U going to GSF? Oh ya I should totally make my own approach journal I dunno tho how I;m gonna out do that bridge opener. Miss that dollar a lot.
 

Brak86

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kidkoala said:
Seems like a quality mistake Brak not like being a lameO or anything. YOu know you could just ask her for a book recommendation just for yourself...just a thought. Anyways sarging will ensue this weekend. I've been mad frustrated myself. U going to GSF? Oh ya I should totally make my own approach journal I dunno tho how I;m gonna out do that bridge opener. Miss that dollar a lot.

yeah, it was a mistake. I don;t think the opener was, though. By the way...is this resurrect?
 

kidkoala

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ya haha. I would switch my name to resurrect here too but then i;d lose my post count haha. Anyways I like your approach journal its good stuff. I tend to think that this entire journey is emotional so just recognize that fact and don;t be too hard on yourself. I;ve been killing myself lately and all it really accomplishes is suffering.
 

Brak86

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kidkoala said:
ya haha. I would switch my name to resurrect here too but then i;d lose my post count haha. Anyways I like your approach journal its good stuff. I tend to think that this entire journey is emotional so just recognize that fact and don;t be too hard on yourself. I;ve been killing myself lately and all it really accomplishes is suffering.
I agree, and I really haven't been suffering or been depressed lately. But a mistake such as this just kills me. It'll take a while to get over this. This was just a mistake that could've been prevented easily. I know that I must look at the positive, and that is that this will never happent o me again.

Nevertheless, Berklee is a small school and it's still possible that Matt sees her.
 

greenlake

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brak86, i wish i could sarg with u. i know i can learn alot of things from u. it's a shame u didn't store that girl's phone number in ur phone. why don't u just bring a notepad and a pen with u the next u go out .i'm sure u can't accidentallu white out it. hopefully ur friend will find her.
 
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