Brak86's Journal

[Brak86]

Day 24: Sunday, October 28,

I had a text message conversation with HBcowboys. Here's how it went down.

Me: WHats up jack daniels, how was your weekend? (she told me she was gonna be jack daniels for halloween).
Her: ****ing excellent how was yours
Me: Amazing ill tell you a hilarious story tomorrow. Lets meet at the starbucks at the hynes stop.
Her: I cant today I have alot of **** to do (she thought I meant today, but I meant tomorrow)
Me: haha no I said tomorrow

She didn't respond after this, which frustrated me. She clearly was avoiding responding to me. I really thought about this, and I realized that if I keep trying to play along her lines, she'd eventually stop talking to me. So I had to make a choice. I decided to send a ballsy text which pretty much could end any chance of meeting up with her. However, I knew that I had to send this following text, because otherwise i would be submitting to my fear of loss. A real man would not put up with her flakiness and indecisiveness. I sent this text about 8 hours after the last text.

Me: I like talking to you but I dont play games. I think we would have fun together, but if you don't want to meet up its cool and im glad we met
Her: We def can meet up or whatever but my life is busy as hell right now. Tomorrow I have class till seven then I have rehearsal till nine. Thats pretty much my life. (she sent this text literally 2 minutes after I sent the previous).
Me: I respect that and thanks for being honest . We should hang out this weekend when you aren't so busy.
Her: K good plan.

 

[Brak86]

Day 25-Day28: Monday, October 29-Thursday, November 1

I have been keeping up with the challenge, but i haven't done anything real big during these past few days because I have a huge chemistry exam on friday. I have been striking up conversations with girls on my campus. Tomorrow, I'm going to text HBcowboys and ask her out on Sunday. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Also, I've recently realized that I need to work on my eye contact and my voice. I have a habit of not looking people in the eyes, and also not speaking loudly enough.

 

[Brak86]

Day 29: Friday, November 2

I texted HBcowboys because i was planning on inviting her to the BC/Florida St. football game on Saturday. I really thought she would come out this weekend because the past week she agreed to come out with me. HEre's our text conversation:

Me: Hey! I have an extra ticket to the BC florida state football game tomorrow. Wanna come?
Her: I have class till 9. What time is it at?
Me (now the game starts at 8:00, however, i talked to a wing of mine named Mykell Cross. He told me to lie and say the game starts at 9:30, because my main goal is to just get her in person again. I agreed with him): Perfect! its at 9:30. Just take the green b line to the last stop Call me when yu get here and ill come meet you.
Her: No way lol its three hours of dance. I need to go home after. Sorry.
Me: haha ooo yea i dont wantto be hanging around you if youre all stinky . Well when are you free?

So i've realized how hard it is to get a girl to meet you for a day 2. It requires so much comfort and trust. I need to work on that next.

I didn't go out tonight, but some girl came over to our room and i talked to her for a bit. Even though she was cute enough to hook up with, I didn't try to game her, I didn't really care. When I try to game I end up screwing myself up.

 

[Brak86]

Isn't it a pity that guys here seem to kind of ignore good FRs like this one, respect for all of your hard work and I enjoyed reading

i appreciate your comments man. I realize that, throughout the 30 day challenge, my FRs have not been as detailed as I'd like. However, it's only because I don't have that much time. After the 30 day challebge, each of my FRs will be a lot more detailed and I will write my personal opinions about each FR.

 

[Brak86]

Day 30: Saturday, November 3

So the last day was not very special, but i did do something pretty funny. I was in the first floor of my dorms study lounge with some of my roomates. On the second floor, there were about 5 girls chatting. My roomates, who know that I am the guy who loves to take risks, dared me to throw a water bottle up there. I hesitated, but they told me that they thought i couldn't do it. I thought to myself and remembered emerson's quote "all life is made of experiments." And I launched the water bottle. 5 seconds later the girls all start cracking up and look over the balcony. My roomates are all pointing to me, and I just smile. One of the girls takes the water bottle and tries to drop it on me, but i swat it away. A few minutes later, the girls throw a paper airplane down that says, "shhh ." The girls left about 10 minutes later and one of the girls thanked me for giving her and her friends a good time, because her friends were visiting from another college and they hadnt been here for more than 4 hours.

Looking back on it, I probably should have gone up there and started chatting with them. I have no excuse, but I was feeling self-conscious because I had a monstrous zit on my cheek bone.

So that's it for the 30 day challenge. I am very happy i completed it, yet I still have a long way to go. I learned a lot, and the results will eventually come.

I want to do more challenges in the future, but 30 days is pretty unrealistic. It is extremely hard to do especially while i am in college and taking hard classes. So from now on, I'm altering my gameplan when it comes to challenges: I'm gonna do like a weekend challenge or a week long challenge or maybe even a two week long challenge where I go out every day during that specified time period.

Furthermore, the next time I do a challenge Im going to focus on a limited number of things to improve on, because it is a lot easier to improve when you take things step by step instead of trying to do everything right at first.

 

[Mayfly]

Just wait till this weekend Brak. It will all get better. Trust me.

 

[Brak86]

Tuesday, November 13

**Warning** This post is MASSIVE (4 pages), but it's filled with a lot of great revelations I've had since the 30 day challenge ended. It's worth the time to read:

For awhile now, I have been wondering why I stiill haven't gotten the results I want, despite the fact that I have worked my a** off approaching women. I have been trying so hard, and doing so much (how many naturals go into the city during the day to just approach women ), and yet I still haven't gotten laid, a girlfriend, not even many dates. Now I know that for some, this takes more time than others; however, it shouldn't be this hard. After having completed the 30 day challenge without getting any solid hookups, it only further crossed my mind that I really need to change my approach to improving myself. I’ve realized that it doesn't need to be this hard, and yet I'm making everything so much more complicated than stuff actually is.

Ironically and fortunately, my friend and wing, Entropy, (who gets a ton of p*ssy) wrote a post on his blog right after I had completed the 30 day challenge that really enlightened me. It pointed out exactly what I had been doing wrong (Isn't so weird/awesome how help/advice sometimes "magically" springs up right when you need it?). His post came at exactly the right time. Anyways, here's his post:

I've been in the community long enough now that I've seen a lot of guys come and go. Some of them improve very quickly and some of them stagnate, often for year after year. After sarging with a lot of these guys and gaining insights through improvement in my own game, I've noticed something.

In time, I've noticed a fundamental difference between the first group of guys -- those who stagnate for years -- and the second group -- those who improve steadily and sometimes quickly. All aspiring PUA's agree that this is a skill-set that can be developed like a musical instrument or bodybuilding or whatever. But the difference seems to appear in what skill guys perceive it to be. Some view PUA as improving a performance, and some view it as improving character.

The Performance guys, tend to perceive PUA as a skill to be memorized and acted out. You memorize the right routines, what a ****-test is, all possible contingencies to a girl's reaction, etc, and then go and do it. When a problem comes up in set, the Performance Guy is hyper-analytical afterwards, searching for THE solution as if solving a math equation. His focus is on studying material and performing it on as many sets as possible -- hundreds, sometimes thousands. When the material doesn't work, he often blames the material and seeks out even more. Other times he begins blaming the girls and develops unhealthy beliefs about them. Usually his results plateau indefinitely after the first few months.

The Character Guy seeks not to perfect what he says to women -- as there's no such thing -- but to perfect himself. To him game is a means to develop habits that will lead to a positive lifestyle which will ultimately attract women. To him routines can help, but aren't always necessary, as long as he's constantly talking to women and figuring out what works with them. He tends to spend less time with material and more time in-field than the other guys. When a set goes wrong, he tries to find what he did wrong, and when he finds it, he eliminates it from his habits.

I've said before that PUA is "self-help in disguise." Guys come to this with the humble goals of meeting and dating more women. Those who have the tenacity and insight to stick with it soon discover that you aren't just revamping your conversational repertoire, but you completely revamp your lifestyle.

And here's my response to his post:

Entropy, I really relate to this post and I wanted to get some more insight from you on this topic. I am an extremely analytical person and I'm very "skill-obsessed" in regards to the game. I'm almost always in my head, thinking about what to do and say next. It's almost as if each interaction with a girl is like a school exam, and that I try to get a 100% each time. While this dedication and desire is laudable, it's as if I am trying to be perfect and make no mistakes. But like you said, the game cannot be made into a linear math formula. But I'm pretty sure that I am taking this approach. Even my roomate (who doesn't know about the game) told me that he thinks I break flirting down to a science too much.

Its ironic, because despite being meticulously formulaic about my approach to game, I dislike canned routines and stories and I actually am a HUGE fan of natural game like the Juggler Method (maybe its because I am attracted towards what I have a hard time doing).

Having said this, I constantly think in terms of the Mystery Method structure, because it's complex, formulaic structure gives me a distinct, clear path on what to do. It also gives you a clear measure of what you are doing what and what I need work on. The thing is, I think this "Formula approach to gaming" is what is killing me. My head is always feeding me information: "Ok, do attraction by throwing in these two lines and touching her here. Now do comfort by asking her this question." It's as if I'm trying to operate machinery instead of naturally connecting with the girl as a human being.

Since the game has helped me so much, I feel as though all of my interactions should be structured, which is terribly annoying. I apply the game very strictly, instead of using it as a mere supplement. It is as if I don't trust myself and that I have to do everything according to the game in order to get results.

You would think that the MM structure would be good for me, since I am naturally a more analytical person, but I think it is killing me. Maybe the fact that I am naturally more of an analytical person means that my approach should be the opposite: less structured and focusing less on specific skill-sets.

In the things I want to become a master at (i.e. guitar, spanish, farsi, gaming, etc.) I have a tendency to try to know everything about it. It's not ironic that music overwhelms me sometimes, because there usually aren't clear right and wrong answers. And I think this applies to the game as well. That's why there's the very famous phrase: It's not what you say, its how you say it. I act as though by pushing this button I will get a certain result, and so on. Unfortunately, I get so fixated on mastering the skill that I think this is dehumanizing the process, and while I might be able to do this when I am studying Spanish, I can't really do this when conversing with another human being (Actually, this approach might hurt me in spanish as well, because while I am amazing at written tests that usually involve conjugating verbs, I have a harder time in conversation, which is less of a formulaic thing).

The reason why I cling to being so Formula and Skill Oriented, however, is that it provides me with a clear, distinct path of improvement and success. I feel that if I took a less structured approach, I would probably get better results, but that the game would be harder to master. It's almost as if I like the fact that I'm making conversing with women harder than it should be, because it offers me an opportunity to become a master at gaming by working on skill-sets. In almost all reactions, I think about everything I do and the response it will get.

The few times I have gone out and focused on saying what is on my mind instead of throwing out a lot of lines, I have had better results. However, I feel as though thinking in terms of the formula helps you get better in the long run.

I'm just confused, because one part of me wants to work on skills, yet when I focus on skills I tend to be in my head and not develop my character as much. THe other part of me wants to work on just going out and working more on conceptual stuff like "saying whatever is on my mind, " but I feel this approach won't improve my game as much in the long term.

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[Brak86]

Most people, if not all, don’t realize how much time I spend in my head and how analytical I am. I am almost always flooded with thoughts, even when I am conversing with someone. And when I am constantly in my head, it is very hard for me to really listen to the other person. This is harmful because 1)I am not enjoying the moment and 2)I cannot successfully vibe and banter unless I genuinely listen to the girl.

The game, while it has helped me in more ways than I can even comprehend, is screwing me up now, however. I guess it’s not the game that’s screwing me up, I’m screwing up myself by misinterpreting how I should go about working on my game. In fact, as Entropy said, it’s more than just working on my game, it’s working on my life. And since I took a skill and performance-centered approach rather than a character building approach, I hit a plateau. My friends and wings who have gotten more results than me learned about the game like me. The difference was in how they APPLIED the game. While I am actually a pretty d*mn good conversationalist now that I’ve learned how conversation works, I never trusted myself conversationally-wise before, and I still don’t trust myself completely. I think a big reason is because before I learned the game, I was completely clueless when it came to conversing with people. In highschool, all my friends could carry on conversations and it seemed effortless when they did so, but I always struggled with conversing with people. This only further triggered my conversational anxiety and my distrust in my own abilities. I would always be in my head, paranoid about letting the conversation become boring or, even worse, one that has a lot of awkward silences (I still do this, albeit to a lesser extent now because I have finally become aware of this. Now, I can focus on improving myself in this aspect).

The fact that I never trusted myself conversationally is probably why I applied all the techniques that I learned from the game VERY STRICTLY. In fact, the game pretty much drove all my interactions with people. I depended on memorized roleplaying lines, banter lines, comfort lines, etc. to keep my conversations interesting. I didn’t trust myself on my own to keep a conversation interesting. On the other hand, many of my wings seemed to always have been good conversationalists even before they found out about the game, they just needed the game to kick their butt in regards to approaching/being more sexual/observing IOI’s, etc. These guys (like Doc Holliday, Mr. Awesome, Entropy, Funkfish, etc.) all trusted their conversational skills before even having heard about the game. Thus, when they learned certain techniques and skills, they applied these LOOSELY, as a mere supplement to their already good conversational aptitudes. While they might have had trouble being very sexual with girls, they never really had problems conversing with people in general. I, on the other hand, did have problems. To give you an idea of how much I am in my head, I’ll tell you this: when I cold approach a girl, my internal “chatter” constantly prevents me from enjoying my interactions. While I am interacting with the girl, the voice in my head is literally telling myself sh*t like this:

“ok Daniel, you’ve approached the girl directly and she didn’t reject you, so now you need to throw a couple banter lines to attract her. Ooo look, she’s laughing, now its time to do comfort (what the f*ck is DO comfort, anyways? ?). OO remember Daniel, you have to do KINO too, touch her first on the side of the arm. She didn’t oppose to this, so now touch her back. Ok now get her phone number by using this line.”

If the conversation dies down, or if I get worried about it dying down, I’ll immediately throw in a cold-read even if I don’t mean it. Do you all see how frustrating this can be? Instead of enjoying spontaneous interactions, I am trying to plan them, which never works and would be boring even if it did work. I misinterpreted the game: I’ve led myself to believe that I can just push a couple buttons here, and then a couple buttons there and, WA LA! The girl will be butt-naked on my bathroom floor . The thing is, these “lines” and routines that the game provides us with DO really work. Consequently, they are very addictive, because I can depend on them to get a good reaction. However, I don’t need them anymore. They are just training wheels for when you first start approaching girls in order to get over your AA.

I am now going to rely on myself to build my character and my inner game, instead of learning a bunch of lines to try and “trick” the girl into bed with me. The fact that I viewed pick up solely as a skill-based process proved that I didn’t consider myself worthy enough to get a girl if she knew the real me. So all this boils down to is a lack of inner game. I don’t value myself enough, so I feel the need to use lines to get the girl to like me (It’s funny, even though I am 100x better off now than I was before the game, I feel like in some ways I was more natural and thus girls liked me more BEFORE I learned about the game. It was as if my ignorance about the game at least prevented me from giving off such a compulsive, technique-obsessed vibe). However, all this stuff that I have done “wrong” is good, and it is actually better than just being ignorant (as I was before). Often times, in order to get better at something, you first have to break your preconceived notions about that thing down. This will cause an initial increase in entropy (disorder), which seemingly makes you think that you are “worse off” than before. But this “breaking down” is necessary, because in order to improve, you have to first demolish down the old, faulty building (your initial limiting beliefs and fears) and then piece it back together from the ground up to eventually construct a firm, stable building.

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[Brak86]

Both Entropy and Resurrect suggested that I just discard the game now and focus on vibing with people. Rather than focusing on finding perfect things to say, I should instead focus on saying whatever is on my mind. I shouldn’t distrust my intuitions, anyways. Instead of worrying about keeping up a conversation, I should just let go and not clutter my head with thoughts. Besides, I can’t communicate effectively if I’m constantly in my head and not listening to the other person. Furthermore, being in my head blocks me from noticing my surroundings. It’s ok if my conversations are boring at first, the point is to get comfortable relying on myself and not on any skills to carry on a conversation. Only afterwards should I start applying techniques to my interactions (maybe these techniques are not even necessary at all, but I think they are fine as long as you don’t depend on them).

I told Entropy that even though I know I should discard the game, it is hard because it measures my success. It gives me a clear path on what to do, and provides me with a roadmap, an instruction booklet. He pointed out my mistake when I mentioned the word “success,” for there is no way to quantify success. What is success? What is happiness? What is right? What is wrong? There is no measuring tape.

He also reminded me that I can still have goals even if I’m not working on my skill. Building my character and improving my skills in the game are not mutually exclusive.

A huge thing I learned was how to make effective goals. I think a lot of guys who want to become better at socializing don’t know how to make correct goals. Mykell Cross taught me that goals cannot be dependant AT ALL on another person. For example, a BAD GOAL would be something like: “I’m going to get 5 numbers today.” This goal is bad because it at least somewhat depends on the other person’s behavior. Even if you learn all the skills in the world, and even if you are the most confident guy ever, not all girls will like you. Even though you can learn to influence people’s behavior, you cannot completely control someone’s behavior. Thus, the achievement of goal should not be dependant on another person. A BETTER version of the previous goal would be something like: “I’m going to ASK 5 girls for their numbers today.” Why is this better? Because no matter how a girl acts, she cannot prevent you from asking for her number.

Furthermore, I have realized that my incredibly self-demanding attitude is killing my successes. The fact that I am so hard on myself actually reinforces negative thoughts about myself. I am killing my confidence by being so harsh on myself and because I am so results based. For example, if a girl didn’t give me her number, I would be disappointed in myself. I would be so analytical and wonder why I couldn’t get her number. Now, however, I am starting to become much more OUTCOME-INDEPENDENT. I live by the quote: “DON’T BE TOO TIMID AND SQUEAMISH ABOUT YOUR ACTIONS. ALL LIFE IS AN EXPERIMENT. THE MORE EXPERIMENTS YOU MAKE, THE BETTER.” I think this quote encapsulates what being outcome-independent truly is. Furthermore, when I make experiments, I will develop my own style of game that is unique to me. The famous PUA guru Captain Jack says that if he is at a bar, and he has a choice to either a)screw a girl or b)not screw the girl, but improve himself, HE WILL ALWAYS CHOOSE OPTION B. It’s not about trying to get reactions from girls, it’s about HAVING FUN with yourself. It’s about making experiments and seeing what works and what doesn’t. Instead of approaching this stuff with a mindset of trying to get everything, approach this stuff with a mindset of experiencing new things. This makes life exciting.

Before, I was fixated on not making mistakes, on always being right. But what is right and wrong anyways? They are subjective interpretations of reality. I used to be a slave to the DHV and the DLV. I would constantly monitor my words and actions, so I would DHV and avoid DLV. This turned me into a worry-filled freak! Instead, I’m not going to worry about saying something that might “lower my value” in someone else’s eyes. Who the f*ck cares what other people think of me anyways. Instead, I’m going to say what I feel like saying. Some stuff might not work, and I will adjust my game accordingly.

I guess I thought that being harsh on myself propelled my dedication and persistence in the game. I thought that being harsh on myself and being persistent go together. I thought that if I wasn’t constantly pressuring myself to do better, then I would get lazy. But that’s not the case. I know that I am dedicated to getting better at flirting with girls. In fact, I LOOOVEEE girls. I love their femininity, I love their sex appeal, I love their submissiveness. I even love their sh*t-tests, their b*tch-shields, and their rejections, because the girls that act the nastiest to me probably help me the most. I am becoming a more grateful and thankful person to everyone. When people start angering me, I try to calm myself and become grateful at that person because he/she is teaching me how to deal with new situations. In my opinion, approaching life with a sense of gratitude and compassion is the best thing to do. Nothing is either bad or good. To me, everything is just another learning experience from which I gain wisdom.

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[Brak86]

I’m now going to mention some random, non-related things on my mind:

I’ve realized that meditation helps me a TON, especially since I have a tendency to clutter my head with thoughts that distract me from the present. I am also learning ways to cope with an overflow of thoughts and anxieties when I am going about my day. What I do is put my right hand to my forehead and “grab” the thoughts out of my head. I then gently let them free into the air. Stephane Hemon is a PUA Guru to look into. He is a huge advocate for meditation, and acting from the heart. He mentioned that a person is not his thoughts. Thoughts are actually things! Thus, one should be a non-judgemental observer and trainer of thoughts, NOT a reactor to thoughts.

I am going to find out who I am and what I want in further detail. Also, I want to be able to express who I am, cause it won’t matter if I am a bad*ss motherf*cker if I cant express this to girls. But before I can express my true self I have to know my true self. And while I know my passions and hobbies, I don’t know what else to do to “discover myself.”

I also am going to find out what I want in a girl, because then I can start qualifying them to see if they suit my standards and not the other way around. The thing is, I don’t really know what I want in a girl yet. Right now I just want to screw hot girls ?. Right now I know I like girls that have sex appeal and a sense of humor and also are good-hearted and feminine. But these qualities seem somewhat obscure.

I’ve formed a bad habit throughout the years. While someone is talking to me about something, I’ll obviously think of multiple things that I can respond with. But instead of just dropping these thoughts until the other person is done talking, I clutch these responses in my brain, so as not to forget them. This is not good, however, because I don’t listen to the other person as well as I should. Whenever I have something to say, it’s like I don’t want to forget it for fear of not having anything to say. Therefore, I tend to block out the other person’s words in order to hang on to my potential responses. I’m going to start working on this soon, but a lot of it has to do with me getting more comfortable vibing with people.

END OF LONG-*SS POST :crazy:

 

[Ratisson]

Hey brak.

I've been keeping an eye on this thread every now and then. I've noticed that you started the journal just over a year ago. Can you give us a reflection on how you think you have improved since the time you started this approach journal.

Also, how many approaches do you think you did total (if you dont know the exact number can you give us a rough estimate)? I think if you can talk about your improvement thus far that a lot of guys can learn about the transformations in a true DJ. Thanks. Good job so far.

 

[Brak86]

Saturday, November 10

Wowww....what a difference! As i wrote in my last post (the huge one), I am starting to not think results-wise. Therefore, when I go out I am not thinking about "gaming" or "picking up" women. Instead, I am focusing on having fun, making experiments, and not being hard on myself.

On Saturday, I went to one of my female friend's birthday party. It was a semi-formal event, and I LOOOVE dressing formally. I didnt dress up in the generic navy blue blazer with khaki's, however. Instead, I wore extremely nice jeans, a Ted Baker dress shirt, cowboy boots, and my best light brown jacket/blazer from etro (do not ask me how much the jacket costs ).

I made a poitn to myself to make one goal only for the night: To remember everyone's name when I met them. This was a great goal, because the achievement of this goal did not depend on other people. If my goal was to have sex with a girl, then the goal would be partially determined by the girl. But remembering a person's name means that I am the sole person that determines whether I acheived my goal or not.

Well, as it turns out, I remembered pretty much everyone's name after I met them. And since I wasn't focusing on picking up girls, but instead on remembering people's names, I had very little AA and just so happened to approach TONS of people, guys and girls.

It was no coincedence, then, that pretty much all the girls at the party wanted to meet me. I was the guy getting all the IOIs. The combination of me dressing amazingly well and unique, and the fact that I was having fun and talking to a ton of people (SOCIAL PROOF), made all the girls very intrigued by me.

I already knew quite a few people at the party, but I met a ton of new people. I got 3 numbers, two of the girls had boyfriends but I am convinced that if i had better game i could have picked them up.

One of the girls with a boyfriend (lets call her HBdancer) twirled her hair incessantly while she was talking to me.

The other girl with a boyfriend (HBsalmon, thats part of her name) was verrryy into me. I talked to HBsalmon for a verrry long time. When she told me she had a boyfriend, I told her I had a girlfriend to diffuse her from thinking I was trying to get with her. When I told her I had a girlfriend, she asked me if I was in an open ended relationship. HUGE HUGE HUGE IOI.

All in all it was a great, fun night. If I escalated more, I could have gotten some, but I am not basing my success in terms of results. I had fun, and thats what matters.

 

[Brak86]

Wednesday, November 14

I was walking to class when I see the girl whose birthday party I went to last weekend (HBitalian). She's always been attracted to me, I could tell. But I'm not really sexually attracted to her (she's actually not bad looking at all, she just doesn't do it for me). We start talking and here's the last part of our conversation:

HBItalian: Yeah, so, we should hang out this weekend cause we never get to hang out much.
Me: Yeah we definately should, I had a lot of fun at your party last weekend.
HBitalian: Yeah, so you have Sarah's (her roomate) number, right?
Me: ahah why don't I just get your number so I can call you.
HBitalian: ok!

Afterwards, I went to my biology discussion class. There is this girl (HBdancer) who I sit near and talk to a bit, and even though she's not amazingly hot, there's something about her that I find sexy. This class meets only every wednesday, and I knew I wanted to ask HBdancer out. Before class I made it a point not to think about "picking her up" and not about the outcome. I talked to everyone around me, including her. The point is, I didn't act any different today just because I knew I was going to ask her out after class.

Nowadays, I don't really get that nervous asking girls out, because I've kinda desensitized myself to it. However, the fact that I had to sit through an hour long class before I could ask her out made my AA come back. When you ahve time to think about going after a girl, you start overanalyzing and thinking about the potential outcomes.

Regardless, after class she left and then I left about 30 seconds after to make my approach seem natural. I saw her walking outside and called out to her. Here is the whole conversation:

Me: Hey, HBdancer...wait up!
HBdancer: yeah, what's up?
Me: I know this is kinda random, but I want to hang out with you sometime.
HBdancer: yeah sure!
Me: cool. What's the best way to contact you?
HBdancer: hmm my cellphone, i have facebook, too.
Me: just give me your phone number.
HBdancer: ok! ***-***-****.
Me: What area code is that?
Her: haaha Utah
Me: ahah that's pretty far. Anyways, I'll talk to you soon.
HBdancer: great! see ya!

This stuff is getting a lot easier for me. I'm just acting a lot more like myself and I'm pretty d*mn confident when I approach

 

[Brak86]

Thursday, November 15

If you all remember, over last summer I hooked up with HBspanish. Well, she goes to school in California, but we still text time to time.

I wanted to try out something new. Life is about experiences, anyways. I don't fear making mistakes that much anymore.

I wanted to try to get her to talk sexually over the text. This is a pretty big sticking point for me. Here is our whole text conversation:

Me: Let's play the truth game.
HBspanish: What's that?
Me: I ask you a question then you ask me a question and so on.
HBspanish: Deal. Gentlemen first.
Me:What's more attractive to you, blonde or brunette hair? (I wanted to slowly escalate, and not immediately talk about sex).
HBspanish: Guy or girl?
Me: Guy
HBspanish: Hmmm dark hair for sure.
HBspanish: Are you an *ss man or a boobs man? (keep in mind that she doesn't have big boobs but a great *ss).
Me: Ass man. I prefer smaller tits anyways. They are more feminine in my opinion.
Me: Would you prefer a guy to give you a massage or would you prefer him to be kinda rough like push you against a door, pull your hair back and softly bite your neck? (alright, well i guess i didn't escalate that slowly LOL).
HBspanish: In between. Too aggressive can be a turn off but the guy has to know what hes doing.
HBspanish: Do you have an innie or an outie? (this is a huge right here. I immediately judged by her reaction that I was being too sexually forward. Therefore, she asked me a platonic question like this. I did not panic, instead, I just answered normally).
Me: Innie! K last one before I go to sleep. Cat or dog person. (I went by the Juggler method here. Juggler says that when a girl takes a step back--figuratively, of course--you don't want to go forward, or else you will seem too desparate. Unfortunately, this is what most guys do. Instead, when the girl takes a step back, then you take a step back too and try to charm her again. Once you do, and she takes a step forward, only then do you escalate once again).
Her: Dogs with long hair! Last one - do you miss me?? (Ok, whenever I try to act like a ****y funny guy, I end up coming off as a try hard dousche. This is not to say that ****y funny is bad, I just think it is used for girls whom you don't know in the beginning of the interaction. Instead, I went for the honest route, but I wasn't too forward. Keep in mind Ive knew this girl in highschool. So instead of negging her, or trying to convey that I don't care what she thinks, I was serious, but I also injected a little humor, which worked out great).
Me: Yes. Especially when you and vicky took me to the field (this is referring to an inside joke. She named her car's GPS system Vicky. When we both saw each other last in our hometown, she took me to a party but got lost. I busted on her for trying to take me to a random field with "Vicky" to try and rape me. We constantly refer back to this inside joke).
Her: Okay, best answer of the night. Buenas noches!
Me: Sweet dreams. Besitos (means "little kisses" in spanish).

I also texted HBsalmon:

Me: I have to take a social science and the only one left is women and the body but i dont want to take it. i'm soo screwed .
HBsalmon: That sux my time is fri at 2 n i have work.
Me:Work? I thoguht you wanted to be a stay at home mom. But if you really wanna work i'll be the stay at home dad
HBsalmon: hahahaha nice

 

[Brak86]

Hey guys,

I'm starting a blog so I'm moving all my posts there. For you guys who are still interested in keeping up with my progress, here's the link: http://havingfunwithpersianprince.blogspot.com/

Some of the stuff I post on my blog I will post on here also.