Brak86's Journal

[Brak86]

Day 7: Thursday, October 11

I stayed on campus and honestly did not do much. I asked a girl what time it was, and I talked to a couple girls on the elevator.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DAY:

I have been experiencing a low, the past two days, but I'm getting over it. I won't pity myself.

The highlights of the day were talking to my mom and one of my closest friends. They both helped me and gave me loads of advice.

I've realized that I am obsessed with "greatness." But what is greatness? When I think of greatness, I think of how many things I can be an expert at: flamenco guitar, getting girls, spanish, farsi, etc. But greatness is not based on how many things you can do. As a matter of fact, greatness has little to do with DOING. It has everything to do with BEING.

I've also realized that I'm so hard on myself and such a perfectionist that I look back on almost everything that I either say or do and think I could have done something better about it. Honestly, it is THAT extreme. I am just overwhelming myself by being so extremely hard on myself, by needing to do, do, do all the time, and by constantly thinking on how I could've done something better.

Also, I've realized that working on the game is not THAT hard if you take steps. Don't look at the whole picture, that will overwhelm me. Instead, I should focus on one or two sticking points at a time and focus on those until I get those down. If I work in this methodical way, my sticking points will go away faster than I think and I wouldn't be so self-demanding.

 

[Brak86]

Day 8: Friday, October 12,

I went out today with the sole intention of having fun. I dropped "the game" from my head and didn't worry about what to say/do. Instead, I just focused on enjoying the night and not trying to "pick up."

And I had a great night!

One of my friend's birthday was yesterday and I went to her room because she was having some people over. I said WHATEVER was on my mind. And I felt so free. I didn't filter what I said, I didn't worry about shame and what people would think of me. And all the girls in the room could sense it. I could tell. I was the alpha male in the room because I was just having a great time. I was the life of the party.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DAY:

I found out about a different party and I took some people there, including the girl who I've been hooking up with.

I have to admit, I did get jealous because she was talking with one guy for a longggg time. I finally got so fed up with it that I walked over to her while she was talking to him and I told her I had to show her something. I grabbed her hand and took her to another room and kissed her. I'm glad I did it, because it took balls, but I did it mostly because I was jealous. So the act in itself was good, my motive behind it was not. After kissing her for a few seconds she stopped me and told me to calm down. But I'm not even upset about this! I look back at it and laugh. I'm realizing more and more that it is pivotal to find humor in everything that happens, especially those times when you f*ck up.

Some girl who dances to irish music (I'll call her HBirishjig) texted me earlier in the night. But I didn't want to hang out with her so I lied and told her I was going to another college for the night. Well, lo and behold, I saw HBirishjig later that night when I was going to the party. We made eye contact but we didn't say anyhting to each other. She texted me about 15 minutes later. I tried to get her to come back out because the girl i've been hooking up with ended up leaving the party. But HBirishjig wouldn't come out because it was too late.

I met some girl who was 4'10". I called her a midget to her face and she laughed, because I said it in such a fun, not-serious tone. You can get away with almost anything if you say it in a nice, charismatic way.

 

[Brak86]

Day 9: Saturday, October 13

A TON of great stuff happened today both off and on campus, but I have a lot of work so I can't really expound on it.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DAY:

I got two gorgeous girls' numbers at the prudential mall. I went 2 for 2. If you all haven't already noticed, the prudential mall is very good to me .

Here's a funny story. After I got the second girl's number, two women who were working in a nearby store motioned me over. They had witnessed the whole thing, from me approaching the girl to getting her number, and they were very impressed. One of the women was an older african woman who kept calling me such a smart guy. I don;t think smart is the right word, smooth or ballsy would have been more fitting. The other woman was in her early 20s and I could tell she wished that that had happened to her.

The first girl whose number I got was VERY receptive towards me. When I said I was from Texas she immediately said she loved the Dallas Cowboys. I told her I loved her and gave her a big hug. I noticed a CLEAR IOI when she kept her hand on my chest after I pulled away.

The second girl goes to my college, and she's a senior. She didn't seem to have a problem with me being a sophomore. I actually did a little bit of ROLE-REVERSAL on her. In the middle of our conversation, I asked her if she remembered my name. Usually the girl does that to test and see if the guy was paying attention. But I did it to her! She got my name right on the second try. I've been focusing on remembering girls' names when I meet them, so while the girl forgot my name, I remembered hers.

On campus, I went to a party and solely focused on HAVING FUN again. I dropped all knowledge of the game, because it screws with my brain. I get too analytical when I think about what "skills" I need to use. I didn't focus on getting a number or getting a kiss. Instead, I focused on having fun and experimenting. I went to a party and there were a lot of popular girls there, but I played it cool and they all seemed to like me a lot.

One UG wanted to f*ck me so badly. I did NOT want any of that, though. I don't care that I'm a virgin, I will not bang ugly girls. I just can't. I couldn't kiss or sexually touch a girl I don't find attractive. Some guys bang the ugly or fat girl every once in awhile, but I just find that repulsive. Kissing an ugly girl would be like eating moldy cheese for me.

 

[Brak86]

Day 10: Sunday, October 14

I didn't have much time at all to go out today, because I had a lot of work to do and I had to watch the cowboys game, but I went out with Big, Mr. Awesome, and Entropy. I approached 1 hot girl on the street but she blew me out immediately. Nothing else really happened other than the fact that I saw the UG that wanted to hook up with me the night before. I'm still going to be her friend because she's a nice person.

 

[Brak86]

Day 11: Monday, October 15

Today one girl opened me in biology class and I had a good conversation with her.

I also taught the class in my advanced spanish class. I was the professor for the day.

Not much else happened.

 

[Brak86]

Day 12: Tuesday, October 16,

I opened a girl in the study room today and had a brief conversation. I met up with one of my female friends to study biology and I met a few of her friends. I focused on having fun and not thinking about what to say. Needless to say, I was very funny and very charming and they all liked me.

I called the 2 girls whose numbers I got saturday and both did not pick up. For the first time ever, I wasn't really THAT disappointed with this. Obviously I was a little disappointed, but it was FAR FAR less than I have ever experienced. This is because I am now shifting my attitude. I don't consider a result as either a success or a failure anymore. Instead, I believe that trying stuff, especially if its out of your comfort zone, is what true success is, regardless of what outcome you get. I am becoming a lot less outcome dependant.

I now will live and die by this quote: "Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better."

I will write a HUGE post about this when I am not busy.

 

[Brak86]

Day 13: Wednesday, October 17

I approached 2 girls on campus indirectly, which was huge for me. I saw the first girl outside carrying an andy warhol bag and I told her I really liked her bag.

The second girl was wearing cowboy boots (very few people in Boston wear them), so I asked her if she's from the south.

In the elevator I commented on how hot our dorm building was, and we started talking.

Also, I talked on the phone with one of the girls that I number closed last Saturday. I'll call her HBcowboys, since she told me she loves the cowboys. She had been replying to my texts, but she hadn't picked up the phone when I called. So today I texted her saying, "you wouldn't believe what just happened to me." She replied with, "what lol" and then I called her. She didnt pick up! So i sent her another text saying, "well I can't tell you unless you pick up the phone "

15 minutes later she called me and we had a good conversation. At the end of the conversation she told me to call her later. I told her I was busy tonight but that I'd call her either thursday or friday. We added each other on Facebook and she wrote on my wall.

 

[Clockwork]

Damn keep up the good work buddy - This is very inspirational.

 

[Brak86]

Day 14: Thursday, October 18:

I'm focusing on being more free in my interactions. That means, saying whatever I want. Instead of being in my head and thinking about the consequences, I'm just saying pretty much whatever is on my mind (unless it's offensive, of course).

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DAY:

I was in chemistry lab and a girl asked to be me and my buddies' partner. Here are some things I said:

Her (holding a flask with a rubber stopper on it): Brak..can you take the top off?
Me: Take your top off?!? I can't do that right here!

Her: Hey will you guys clean the beaker?
Me: Isn't that a woman's job? (I said this in a very joking tone. This can't be said in a serious tone, or you will come off as a chauvenistic a**hole.

Me (talking to her): that solution looks so much like piss (this wasn't especially funny or smooth, but it's what I was thinking and I didn't want to hold it in for fear of her response, so I said it).
Her: ahah yea it kinda does.

 

[Brak86]

Day 15: Friday, October 19:

I started a conversation with a girl on my elevator, and I talked to a few other girls in passing. All were situational and on campus. Nothing much other than that happened. I called the girl who I talked with on the phone the other day, because I wanted to set up a date, but she didn't pick up her phone. I'll text her on Sunday.

 

[Brak86]

Day 16: Saturday, October 20

I didn't do any cold approaches, and I didn't talk to any girls today, but I still got out of my comfort zone, and that's what counts. As long as I'm doing something that I'm afraid of socially and/or emotionally, it counts.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DAY:

I called my mom today solely for the purpose of telling her that I love her. This sounds like its no big deal, but for me it is. My mom knows how much I love her, but I'm uncomfortable saying that to her. I'm actually uncomfortable telling someone I love them. I don't think love has to be explicitly expressed; in fact, I think a person's actions are WAY more revealing and expressive than words. However, I knew it would mean a lot to my mom, and also I still want to not be afraid of it. She cried a little and really appreciated the gesture. She's been stressed out recently, but I'm pretty sure I made her day, which makes me happy.

I also sent a text to my brother telling him that I love him.

I texted two girls whose numbers I got from daytime cold approaching. I got their numbers awhile ago, and they hadn't picked up any of my calls and hadn't replied to my texts. So I decided to send this text out: "I like talking to you and I dont play games. I think were really good together. Lets try it. If not, that's cool and I'm glad we met "

 

[kidkoala]

text sure does sound familiar

 

[Brak86]

Day 17, Sunday October 21


I did some situational openers on campus. Opened three girls on elevators. Both of which I've seen before on campus, and I know they've seen me. So it's good I broke the ice a bit.

 

[Brak86]

Day 18: Monday, October 22

I did more situational openers. I made small talk with girls, which still is somewhat uncomfortable for me.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DAY:

I had a little text conversation with HBirishjig:

Me: Como estas mujer guapa?

(in english this means, "how are you, beautiful woman?" I like using my spanish in texts. It's fun and girls probably don't get that stuff that often. Plus, it shows you know spanish and spanish is also such a sexy language. I am trying to be more sexual in my interactions, phone conversations, and text messages. I just want to be a naturally sexual person so that when I do it it's not weird or uncomfortable, but just a natural thing to do.

Her: Hey whats going on?

Me: What are you gonna be for halloween

(notice how I didn't answer her lame question. Alpha males steer the direction where they want it to go. They LEAD).

Her: Hm good question..Was going to be ginger spice but that kind of fell through..Might be Ms. Peacock from Clue. What r u being?

Me: Haha ginger spice would be perfect for you.

(I didn't know whether this would get a reaction from her but I didn't want to over analyze my text. I wanted to make it sexual right here, I didn't really know how. Looking back I guess I could have said, "but you always dress up as ms. peacock. Lets change up the roleplaying this time?" There are a lot of different ways to take this convo. I could take it sexually, by roleplaying, I could talk about ms. peacock, or ginger spice...

Her: Haha ya my hot pink shoes r going to go to waste.. I guess we're still looking for a scary spice...care to join? Haha

Me: Hmmm. Well im far from black and I like women so i'll pass.

(I didn't want to buy into the frame of being a friend. I also didn't want to joke about dressing up as a girl, because even if its funny and I don't mind joking about, it still won't put sexual thoughts about me in her mind).

Her: Hahahaah


She's decent-looking, nothing special. Plus, I'm not a big fan of redheads. But she's tappable and she's into me. I don't really care that much about hooking up with her and, consequently, I guess that's why I get good responses from her. With hot girls, it's a different story, however. I can get them attracted and get their numbers, but then after that I wonder whether I'll f*ck them. As if I send some sort of negative energy into the universe, they end up flaking.

 

[j0n024]

Dang man...I read the whole thing....Well most of it . I got to say it was a fun ride lol reading your posts and seeing how well you have been doing! I am from Texas as well!!!!! Im really far South like maybe an hour from Mexico so if you look on the Map look at the tip and it should say Harlingen or Mcallen thats where I live! If you come down you can show me how its done because Im barely getting started and Im the same age as you I think 19? I thought this post was a long time ago because I barely found this website but lo and behold its pretty new and up to date so Ill be posting in here as well! I gotta say though since reading your post Im going to start using more Direct Approaches now since I like Day game a lot better then night....to me night is a lot easier Im actually 3 for 1 at night and during the day its actually 2-6 but thats neither here nor there so Good luck and keep up the really good posting!

 

[Brak86]

Day 19: Tuesday, October 23,

I set up tentative DAY 2 plans,with the girl who likes the dallas cowboys (HBcowboys...she was one of the two girls i number closed in the prudential mall on Day 9: Saturday, October 13) I'm happy about achieving this, but I shouldn't get too excited over. Like i've said before, I'm trying to steer clear from being result-based.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DAY:

So like I said, I called HBcowboys, but it was weird how the whole thing went down. I forgot to mention that a few days after I talked to HBcowboys on the phone on Day 13: Wednesday, October 17, I called her again on friday, October 19. She didn't pick up. I thought she might have lost interest, but I planned on calling her again on Tuesday (today). Ironically, a few hours before I called her today, she invited me to a dallas cowboys fans group on Facebook. I called her in the evening and had a decent conversation with her.

I was nervous, and I wasn't really listening to her because I was focused on asking for a DAY2. Eventually, I said, "Listen, I'm real busy this week but we should hang out next week." She immediately agreed to the offer. I told her that I needed winter clothes and that she can come along and help me get stuff. I also told her that I'd call her on Thursday and give her the exact details. I'm gonna invite her out on this coming Monday.

I also talked to a couple girls on campus.

Dang man...I read the whole thing....Well most of it . I got to say it was a fun ride lol reading your posts and seeing how well you have been doing! I am from Texas as well!!!!! Im really far South like maybe an hour from Mexico so if you look on the Map look at the tip and it should say Harlingen or Mcallen thats where I live! If you come down you can show me how its done because Im barely getting started and Im the same age as you I think 19? I thought this post was a long time ago because I barely found this website but lo and behold its pretty new and up to date so Ill be posting in here as well! I gotta say though since reading your post Im going to start using more Direct Approaches now since I like Day game a lot better then night....to me night is a lot easier Im actually 3 for 1 at night and during the day its actually 2-6 but thats neither here nor there so Good luck and keep up the really good posting!

thanks man! YOu should post a journal, I'd be interested in keeping track of your progress.

 

[Brak86]

Day 20: Wednesday, October 24:

I talked to a few girls on campus yet again and also flirted with HBspanish via text (in case you all don't know, I know HBspanish from when I was in highschool, she's the girl I hooked up with over the summer).

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DAY:

Here's the text.

Me: Como estas mujer sexy? (it means, how are you sexy woman)
Her: Hi love! How are you? (She responded at 3 AM...about 12 hours later, lol..I think she sent the message earlier, something just happened with my phone).
Me: I'm great...what are you gonna be for halloween? (I sent this about a day after she sent me her text).
Her: A disney princess! Which one do you think I should be...?
Me: Whichever one wears the least amount of clothing (Like I've said before, I want to become a naturally sexual person).
Her: Haha I'm between pocahontas and tiger lily...what are you gonna be mister?
Me: Me and my roomates are gonna be guidos. (I probably should have ignored her question and talked about her dressing up as tiger lily...but you live and learn).

 

[Brak86]

Day 21: Thursday, October 25,

So I called HBcowboys to give her the details of the date, and she didn't pick up! It was frustrating, because she wanted to go out when I talked to her on Tuesday. This just further makes me believe that you have to strike when the iron is hot. I should have set up the date when I had her on the phone on Tuesday. It's just so crazy to me that girls will agree to stuff/really want to talk to you one day, yet they will not pick up the phone and not return your calls the next. I can't think of the word to describe girls, but I guess they are constant waverers. Their actions depend almost entirely on their present mood. They don't think in terms of guys. It's not like they think, "oh, i told this guy on tuesday that i would go out with him, so I should return his call."

Anyways, I'll try again on Sunday.

I also talked to some girls on campus.

 

[Brak86]

Day 22: Friday, October 26

Wow, I had a great night. Went out with Resurrect to a few parties on my campus and we had a great time. We talked to sooooo many people and so many girls. We didn't have AA at all, we just went up and talked to a ton of girls. I was talking to this one cute girl for awhile, and I finally told her that I wanted to kiss her, but she told me she had a bf on the soccer team. But she touched me as I left and was flattered.

P.S. getting drunk off beer is so much better than getting drunk off hard liquor. Beer drunk is happy drunk. Liquor drunk is crazy drunk. I've noticed with beer I tend to be jolly. But if I get really drunk off liquor I can get very angry and upset at the end o the night.

 

[Brak86]

Day 23: Saturday, October 27

Wow, tonight was both awesome and frustrating at the same time. I went to a MIT frat party with a bunch of my friends. We actually got in because the DJ is our friend.

One part of me wants to say that the night was bad, because I approached SOOO many girls and yet I got no numbers, no kisses, nothing. Most girls were receptive when I opened them, yet they seemed to lose interest very fast.

The other part of me (the better part ) says that the night was a humongous success, because my friends and I got out of our comfort zone big time.

Now that I look back and remember that success is not result-based, I think the night was a big success.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DAY:

Probably the best thing that my buddies and I did was play a game. We would give each other a word, and each one of us had to use our word in our opener. My friends gave me Rumplestiltskin, bl0wj0b and I forgot the other word. I could not think of a clever way to open a set with the word bl0wj0b so i just went up to a 3 set, looked at them for a couple seconds, and then said bl0wj0b. They didn't think it was that funny, and then they asked me to take their picture. I refused.

I gave my buddy Entropy the word "Pubes." He went up to a group of girls and told them that his pubes itch...HAHAHA! THey just looked at him and were so confused. It was hilarious though.

I opened the same girl twice by accident. The second time i went up to her group and used the word rumplestiltskin in my opener and she told me that she didnt want to talk to me. Ouch. .

I've noticed that I probably seem desperate when I open a girl at night. I ask too many questions and I put so much pressure on myself to keep a good conversation going. So I always reach for things to say. I fall back on cold reads and roleplaying lines that I have memorized, instead of vibing and being in the moment.

I'm very self-conscious about dance opening. I feel that girls think it is sleazy. THis is kind of odd, because dance game used to be comfortable for me. It used to be the only game I was decent at. Now, however, I always feel like I need to talk to the girl, and I feel weird just grabbing a girl and grinding.

I was having a great conversation with this one freshman girl, and I was actually getting great rapport with her, but her sister and her sister's boyfriend eventually came in and took her away. I asked for her number, but her sister said I couldnt have it.

A lot of the reason why I was frustrated was because one of my buddies (who knows very little about the game) had so much success even though he didn't approach nearly as many girls as I did. Regardless, he made out with a girl, got a few numbers, and also talked to two of the cutest girls at the party. But I'm reverting back to outcome dependency again, and that isn't good