TonyBaloney said:
I'd really like to know from other BPD survivors, what scars and aftereffects are leftover from that time?
Mine seems to be physical weakness. I seem to have lost alot of strenghth compared to what i used to have. I was so mentally beat down, that I just cant rouse myself to the fight like i used too.
Does anyone relate to what Im saying???
If there is a silver lining to my experience, it's that I have become a much better judge of character, and my Red Flag Radar is pretty tightly honed. I have nexted attractive girls that for one reason or another gave off a vibe of "Danger! May be Trouble Ahead" whereas in the past I hung around hoping to get some sex. Sex is not worth losing your sanity or the erosion of your boundaries. I think the Red Pill is not just about the behaviors and attitudes that you need to change in order to attract and keep a woman, but also developing a better picker so that you don't put yourself in emotionally dangerous situations to begin with.
Stay away from women with the following characteristics:
- single mom
- princess entitlement complex
- divorcee
- missing or weak father figure from childhood
- low self-esteem
- excessive hypochondriac
- pretty much all guy friends and almost no female friends
- excessively complains and whines and b*tches about other people
- a history of disastrous relationships yet now says she's seen the light and knows how relationships work
- partied and slept around a lot but now wants to "settle down"
- excessive piercings and tattoos
- paints all exes black. Has nothing good to say about exes, trashes all of them, and can't bring herself to acknowledge that some of them were good guys but that it just didn't work out because of a lack of compatibility and wanting different things out of life
- excessively slutty (willing to f*ck on a first date, in which case I'll take it, but good for pump and dump only)
- immaturity (a 31 year old with the lifestyle habits of a 21 year old)
- you're in your thirties and she's older than you
- excessive facebook usage (she has several hundred friends, posts status updates several times a day, etc...this is symptomatic of being an attention wh*re that needs constant validation)
The aftereffects (I'm almost two years out) are mainly just having kind of a jaded view of relationships and women. I am constantly on alert for being scammed or for the other shoe to drop. Part of what makes BPDs hard to get over is that they are extremely hot usually (mine was the hottest girl I'd ever been with, easily an 8. I can pull 7's and the occasional 8, but she was the prettiest), and the good times with them, not just the sex, the highs with them are better than what you have ever had with any other girl. There's a feeling like you've been to the mountaintop and you'll never get back, and that's kind of depressing.