Obsidian said:
So how many of these "stable" relationships have you had? How long did you stay interested in guys that you could predict and lead according to your whims?
Because if you're seriously telling me that women get turned on by men who don't take charge, I'll tell you flat out that you're wrong. Being passive never accomplished anything for me in my first two decades of existence. Ever since I abandoned my chumpish ways, however, I have made continual progress.
This is why we need forums like this -- to get away from all the feminist nonsense society tries to cram down our throats. Women don't really know what they want so it's pointless to listen to them give relationship advice.
I've had 4 very good, healthy relationships where I led and the guys had no clue I was leading. The first one lasted about 5 years. That man passed away. I would be married to him now if he had not died. The second lasted about 8 months or so. I ended it because over time sometimes you find that you just really aren't compatible. It ended on good terms with no hard feelings. The third lasted about 6 months and it was another case of not being compatible enough. The 4th lasted about 6 years and ended when he also passed away. I would have married him eventually as well, had he not died.
Taking charge is really of no consequence to women. What women don't want is a needy, clingy, desperate, boring girly man. Likewise, women don't want a mean, miserable control freak either. A man does not have to be overbearing, controlling or domineering to be attractive.
Again...you are not looking at "leading" for what it really is. "Taking charge" is NOT leading...it is an attempt to control, which won't ever work long term. Leading is all about how you carry yourself, control your reactions and behavior in order to elicit the desired response from the other person. Men can lead and women can lead. Men can attempt to control others and women can attempt to control others. Attempts to control simply do NOT work. Leading, however, DOES work. Much of the advise I have given here over the years has involved examples of leading. I try to encourage leading behavior whenever I can, because it is the most effective way to have a good, quality and lasting LTR. Sadly, most of the time my attempts at teaching these methods get buried beneath flames and attacks for me being a woman.
Yeah...many women have no clue what they want...especially younger women. I had no clue what I wanted until I was nearly 30 years old. Even when women figure out what they want they are more likely to still tell you what they think you want to hear because women are convinced that they have to come across as sweet and nice all the time. If a woman offends you or pisses you off...she's telling you the truth as a rule.
..I mean I'm not an idiot (at least not all the time). for the record I'm not into computers and creating a website or any thing like that. Personaly I'm more into books, and medicine..(for the record).
