I concur with
@guru1000 to a great degree here.
I do however think there are exceptions and that should be nuanced.
Two points to make.
One. For me, I have two male friends who I am not going to jettison for a relationship. I also must communicate with my ex husband who is the father of my children and whom I have a financial relationship with.
It is about intent and it is about boundaries. Neither my ex husband (finally he is over me *Yay) nor my male friend I’ve known 34 years are interested in me sexually. My friend is literally like a brother. Now. My other long standing male friend, who I have a business relationship with and who I’ve known for 28 years (we were lovers in our early 20s) might want to pursue something beyond friendship if the opportunity presented itself and the timing was right. And it wouldn’t be casual in nature if we went that route. That’s very different than fishing around for a bang. Because neither of us wishes to pursue something (intent is not there), then solid boundaries exist to protect our respective significant others. Additionally I agree that significant others are to be included when interacting in person, but even on the phone. I’ve no problem putting him on speaker before my man to talk business and I’ve no issue with my man reading our communication chain, which is 95% business with a tiny bit of personal commentary thrown in.
He wanted me to check out a build out he is doing in another state, for example. I declined even though I had business nearby while he was there. I declined out of respect for my relationship and I told him (my friend) this. I did not mention the offer to visit to my man at all. Because I know the right thing and had already done the respectful thing there is/was no need to inject undue drama into my relationship.
Two. Doing the right thing is MY responsibility. A man does not need to manage me. I manage myself according to my character and I expect my man to do the same.
I date alpha men and my father was a strong one. I did marry a poser however and eventually left him due to eroded respect. Alpha men are internally validated and act with purpose. The fact that they attract women is a by product of how they exist in the world; of their BEING. Women and attention is not a prime aim...not for true alphas. True alphas select a woman who is a worthy partner and operate in a benevolent dictator way within relationship. And they do so when they chose as it suits their life aim. Then they lead. Period.
Not many men who really meet that description running around and the few who are have high standards.
Players and most PUA types are not true alphas.
True alphas expect respect from their woman and from those around them and will distance themselves naturally from people who do not recognize their demeanor & position.
It’s a self sorting process that’s actually as elegant as it is simple.